London Calling (19 page)

***

After breakfast we headed out for a fish pedicure where we all plunged our feet into individual tanks and tiny fish feasted on our hard skin. If I thought about it all too much it was enough to make me gag, so I tried not to. We followed up the fish by going for lunch at a fancy burger joint. Just as I was tucking in, my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text from Lucy.

‘Might see you sooner than expected. A mate’s just asked if I fancy a night in Brighton as her dad’s just moved there. Let me know where you are later and I’ll see if I can stop by to say hi.’

I grinned at the phone. Lucy was coming to Brighton! I allowed my grin to spread a little wider. I texted back telling her I’d be sure to let her know, then tuned back into the lunchtime discussion.

***

We spent the rest of the afternoon on a mini pub crawl interspersed with shopping. We ended up in a suitably loud bar in Kemp Town, all metallic bar, wooden floors and leather couches. It was a definitely a step from the hen night hell I’d been expecting, but nevertheless the bar smelt of Saturday night: cheap aftershave, sweet perfume and a glaze of sweat.

By 8pm our party had more than doubled, our table swamped under a barrage of glasses, bottles, feather boas and glitter. So much glitter in all different shades. Was it just manufactured for hen party purposes, I wondered?

I’d been harangued into wearing a feather boa and T-shirt with ‘Team Julia: A Law Unto Themselves’ emblazoned on it. What’s more, I also had a lightning bolt etched onto my face. Glitter was flecked through my hair too and I’d been attacked by George’s make-up bag. In short, I looked like I’d been railroaded into dressing as a slutty lesbian for the night and had been shocked when I went to the loo, pondering my new persona and hoping there weren’t too many photos taken. I also hoped that Lucy had a sense of humour.

It was my appearance I was thinking of a few minutes later when I saw Ange approaching flanked by two other women. Dressed to impress in heels, jeans and a shimmering top, she was stunning and had clearly come prepared. Whereas I looked like a sparkly twiglet. Perhaps this was exactly the sort of situation she’d dreamt of ever since I’d tipped her out of my flat that Sunday morning.

I squirmed under the spotlight, although of course Ange paid no attention to me. Instead, she hugged Julia before heading to the bar. I followed her retreating figure in time to see one of her friends turn and meet my eye – clearly they’d been forewarned and were now wondering why Ange had fallen for this nightmare in pink.

Now she was here though – I’d been secretly hoping she wouldn’t make it – I hoped Ange would steer clear of me, especially with Lucy showing up soon. She’d sent a follow-up text to tell me she’d arrived in Brighton and I’d given her the address of the bar, warning her to expect a gaggle of drunken ladies.

‘I’ll just say hello, give you a quick kiss and then I’ll go. I’m not going to gate-crash your party completely,’ she’d promised.

***

Some time later with tequila in full flow,
Footloose
came on and Julia put down her drink and dragged everyone onto the dance floor, some of us kicking, some of us screaming. I tried to look straight ahead or down at my feet as I moved my body side to side. Definitely not to the right, as that was where Ange was.

The song ended and we all clapped and whistled, the whole bar on some merry journey now, no stopping the Saturday night juggernaut. The next song was
Dancing Queen
which got the whole place jumping, but I decided I’d sit it out and so returned to our table with George following me click-clacking in her heels.

“These shoes are killing me. Why didn’t you talk me out of wearing these tonight?”

“Because it would have been a thankless task,” I said.

“Slap me next time, right?”

“Only if you give me explicit written permission beforehand. I don’t want a lawsuit and I know what you lawyers are like.”

“Ha ha.” She sat down, taking off her right shoe and rubbing her foot. “Sometimes I hate being a woman. I should have followed your lead and worn comfortable shoes.”

“Lesbian shoes I believe they’re called. And as you don’t fit the bill, you’re not qualified.”

She snorted at that. “Such strict rules…”

I reached into my pocket to check my phone as I sat down. I had a message.

‘Hey, should be there any minute as we’ve left the restaurant and are en route. See you soon!’ Lucy was on her way. My stomach lurched.

“Everything okay?” said George, nodding to my phone.

“Yeah great. This girl I just started seeing is in Brighton so she’s going to pop in to say hi.”

“Lucky her,” George said. “Let’s hope she’s had a bit to drink first.”

Abba’s
Dancing Queen
came to an end, replaced by more up-to-date tunes which made the dance floor crowd swell. A couple of our girls drifted back to the table and I was just rooting around in my bag for a tissue when I heard a voice saying my name.

“Hi Jess.” I’d recognise that voice anywhere.

“Hi,” I said.

Lucy was on her way and Ange was sliding into the chair opposite me. Sometimes, my life played out in such an interesting fashion. My heart began to beat faster and I could feel a sweat breaking out down my back.

Ange moved a discarded feather boa from the chair and sat. This was just the sort of situation I’d been dreading after it became apparent Ange was staying for longer than a single drink. If she was going to declare undying love this was really bad timing. I didn’t need it twice in one week.

“Good night?” she said.

She gave me a once over, in the way someone might do if they were buying a dining table. It was all she could do not to run her hand up my side to check for dust. She was still attractive, still high-pitched. I winced internally. If we could hurry this up, that would be great. I peered over her shoulder at the door but couldn’t see the entrance through the crowd. Still no Lucy.

 “Yeah, great. I think Julia’s enjoying it and that’s the main thing.”

“She is,” Ange agreed. We both turned our heads to where Julia was still dancing, belting out every word. Ange turned back to me.

“Listen,” she said, leaning in. “I just came over to say everything’s cool.”

She paused as I blinked rapidly. The light in the bar seemed to dim.

“I mean, we’re both adults and this situation is a bit awkward but it doesn’t have to be. We had a one-night stand, no hard feelings.” She really stressed that last bit. “I just thought if we’re going to run into each other at Julia’s wedding and whatever else, maybe it’s best to have everything out in the open.”

She took a gulp of her wine, breathed out and stared at me. She’d clearly practised that little speech in her head. She also still had amazing eyes.

“I, well…” I said. “Yeah.” Then I shrugged, which was probably not the best body move for that moment. Ange looked rightly put out. I tried to recover.

“I totally agree. We’re both adults after all,” I said.

She looked relieved.

“It’s agreed then,” she said, metaphorically shutting the case on this one in true lawyer fashion. Her chair scraped along the ground as she got up. Her friends were looking down the table towards me and I could see this had been a coordinated attack.

“By the way, I’d tone down the glitter in future,” she said. Okay, I deserved that.

“Thanks for the tip,” I said.

We shared a tiny fraction of a moment of what might have been – me, Ange, together on this hen night – before Ange recalled that she was the wronged party and to stay in control of the situation. Her face twitched with the concentration needed to play this part after so much tequila, but she regained full composure and fixed me with a seductive stare, before turning and moving back up the table.

Julia slithered past the other way as she did and they crashed into each other. Eventually untangled, Ange disappeared to the bar and Julia sat in her recently vacated seat, eyes wide with anticipation.

“So is there going to be a fight? Did she challenge you to a duel? Has she gone to get more tequila so you can see which lesbian can slug them back the quickest?” Julia sat back with a fat grin on her face.

“Yes, she’s gone to collect up her mates and we’re meeting outside to see which of us can pull each other’s hair hardest in 30 seconds,” I said.

“Marvellous. Lesbian
and
bitchy.”

Julia turned to check Ange wasn’t re-approaching.

“Isn’t this a little obvious?” I said.

“What?”

“Ange leaves and you slither into her seat and grill me. She’s come to your hen night, she’s your friend. Shouldn’t you be impartial, Ms Switzerland? Rushing over to get the gossip says to me that you’re taking my side.”

“I’m taking the side of drama,” Julia said, taking a swig of her red wine. “My life is so horribly predictable, what with being with Tom for a certain amount of years then succumbing to marriage. You try to be different but look at how it’s ended up: I’m swamped in glitter and adorned with a feather boa in Brighton. It’s not very original is it?”

“Anthropologically rich, though,” I said. I sipped my beer and smiled at her. She wasn’t having it.

“But you – you have it all. One-night stands, living in Australia, women travelling from across the world to win your heart back…”

“Woman, singular…”

“Whatever. It’s alive, it’s vibrant, it’s not the norm. I’m not special, you are. You shag women and glamorous ones at that. Lawyers, opticians. You’re not boring. I’m boring. Straight and boring. Oh god, when did I get so straight and boring…”

Julia put her forehead on the table in despair. I leaned over and unclasped her hands from the back of her head just as Lisa turned up. She was having none of it and got Julia out of her chair.

“I think tequila maudlin has struck,” I said, standing up. “Listen lady,” I added as Julia’s pouting eyes fixed on mine. “You’re fabulous. You’re not like everyone else. You have a great fiancée who loves you and you’re marrying the love of your life – there can’t be anything better than that, can there?”

Julia softened as thoughts of Tom flitted through her mind and Lisa took the gap in the conversation to chime in.

“Besides, this is no time to get maudlin. There’s still plenty of drinking left to do and we’ve just decided we’re going dancing. Sound like a plan?” Julia perked up and clapped her hands together, doing her best seal impression.

“Count me in!” she slurred.

“That’s good, seeing as it’s your hen night,” Lisa said.

I paused, then fixed my stare on Julia. “Anyway, I’ve got other exciting news for you too.”

Julia was standing unaided now, trying to focus on the evening but distracted by the glitter and sparkles all around.

“What?” she said.

“Lucy’s coming.”

“Who?”

“Lucy. You know,
Lucy
…” I pronounced her name like it was the first word I’d just learnt of a whole new language. Julia’s eyes widened as blocks of understanding slotted into place inside her brain. Once they did, she clapped her hands.

“Here? Now?” I nodded.

“Oooh, this is getting good.”

“So remember, play nicely. She’s just popping in to say a quick hi as she’s out with a mate.”

“I’ll be good, scout’s honour,” Julia said, scouting the area for Ange as she did. Neither of us were going to voice that concern but we both knew it was the elephant in the crowded, drunken room. I looked up to check the entrance but still couldn’t see any sign of her.

“So I’ll go and get a final round shall I,” I said, a statement rather than a question. I kissed Julia on the cheek as I wriggled out from the table.

When I eventually got near the bar I recognised the figure ahead of me as Ange. She was ordering more wine and tequila and I nudged her as I settled beside her, sliding in ahead of a short man in a polka-dot shirt who really should have known better. Ange turned her head and smiled as if recalling some far-off memory. I could see by her eyes there was already a fog building behind them.

“Oh I’ve just been served…” she said. She put her drinks on a tray.

I waved my hand. “It’s fine. I’m ordering a ton of tequila so don’t worry.”

She nodded, then paused. “You know, there was just one more thing Jess,” she said.

“What’s that?” I said, turning my head.

She leaned in, put her right hand up to my face and kissed me full on the mouth, sliding her tongue in and causing definite friction through my body. Just as before, it wasn’t terrible. The woman could kiss.

I was shocked by her action but certainly didn’t pull away. Truth be told, I might even have kissed her back a little. Whatever, I was fairly sure that at its climax, it was Ange who was the first to pull out, not me. When I opened my eyes, she was smiling. Then she leaned in once more and gave me a final kiss, before fixing me with another seductive stare.

“Shame,” she said. “We could have been good you know.” With that, she put her index finger to my lips, winked, picked up her tray of drinks and casually walked away.

When I regained focus on the room I saw Lucy standing nearby with her mouth wide open, her mate standing beside her mirroring her look of horror. I wondered how much she’d seen but I think I knew. My current lover had just seen Ange snog me at the bar which was not the evening I’d planned in my head.

My heart thumped in my chest as I began to walk towards Lucy to explain, but her face told me she wasn’t interested. I stopped in my tracks as her eyes burnt through me, then she turned, grabbed her mate’s arm and took off towards the entrance. Ange, oblivious to the mess she’d caused, was already back at our table and sitting down. I looked to her and then to the door to see Lucy disappearing through it without a single look back. I took a deep breath and began to run towards the entrance.

CHAPTER THIRTY

The next morning I woke up and fixed my stare on the ceiling cornice in our room – if it had been restored, they’d done a good job. It was only 7.20am but I was having trouble sleeping and my head was foggy with trouble more than booze. I’d stopped drinking after Lucy’s exit, sobered up into the cold, harsh reality that the woman who I’d briefly begun to consider as my new girlfriend had just seen me kissing someone else. Not a great addition to a relationship that was barely a week old. By the time I’d made it to the door of the bar, Lucy and her mate had disappeared and my efforts to find her had been to no avail.