London Calling (17 page)

Lucy had texted me as promised to let me know she was home with her cousin and thinking of me, having recurring flashbacks to Friday night. She wasn’t the only one.

I relished these times when it was all about base instincts and all you had to think about was having sex and when you could next fit it in. The lust stages of a relationship were always the easiest – it’s when you started trying to talk and brought feelings into the equation that things got complicated.

However, somehow with the knowledge of what was sitting in my inbox, I began to feel guilty. My ex had emailed to say she was still in love with me and she was coming to London, just months after I’d flown home to get away from her. Just when life seemed to be getting back on track, it seemed there were some engineering works on the line.

Throughout my morning shower thoughts fizzed through my head. Should I tell Lucy? Should I tell anyone? Should I just ignore the situation? After all, Karen didn’t know where I lived. But she did know where my parents lived and I’m sure if she fished around hard enough somebody would tell her my London whereabouts. I winced as my hand hit a spot that was forming in my hairline – I must be ovulating. The newly forming spot buzzed atop my head, temporarily averting my brain train, but not for long.

I pulled on jeans and a blue T-shirt, blowing out my cheeks in cartoon fashion and shaking my head from side to side. This could be nothing. This could just be Karen playing with me. Remember, she used to do that?

I sat down but I couldn’t remember anything about our relationship. All I could remember was that I loved her, she cheated and now she was getting on a plane and coming to London to win me back. Nine months ago I would have leapt for joy and headed right back into the storm.

Today though, things were different. My compass had identified a new direction, one that I was so confident of I’d even told my parents about. If Karen turned up, so be it. She would find a different woman, not one who’d fall for her charms again. Walking to work, I cursed Karen for bursting my perfect Lucy-shaped bubble.

Matt, though, was having no such trouble, appearing to be fully embracing his bubble with gusto when I arrived. I was ten minutes early but he was already in the café whipping up some banana and blueberry muffins when I arrived.

“Morning,” he said without looking up, spooning the mixture into the muffin cases. The kitchen already smelt way more delicious than any other workplace I’d been in.

“Good weekend?” he asked.

“Can’t complain. You?”

“Very good thanks.”

I slung my bag over the hook by the kitchen door and grabbed my newly laundered apron – Matt had done the honours this weekend.

“And by very good you mean?”

This time he looked up, licking some of the mixture off his finger as he did.

“Just that. I mean, she’s amazing. Where did Julia find her? She loves sport, she’s funny, she’s attractive and she’s solvent. We had an even better second date. I keep wondering where the catch is.”

“On the back of her bra.”

“Ha ha.”

“So you had a good time?”

“I had a great time,” he said, picking up a tray and transporting it to the oven. “And I think she did too. I mean, it’s been a while, you know…” He paused. “But I managed not to spill anything down me, I held doors open and…” He shrugged. “We had a good time.” He looked shy all of a sudden and I laughed.

“There’s no need to be so apologetic about it.”

“Julia should really start up a match-making service, she’s that good.”

I snorted. “Perhaps for straights. Remember she’s set me up on quite a few dates and I’m not married yet.”

“But you have had far more sex than you would have had without her.”

“True, but not all of it advisable.”

I was glad Matt didn’t know the full extent of my Julia-induced sluttery.

“Anyway, how was your big date?”

“Pretty much the same as yours,” I said. “We had a great night and I’m seeing her again, so I don’t think I repelled her too much. And I didn’t spill anything either.”

We grinned at each other triumphantly.

“Well I think that deserves a cup of tea, don’t you?”

“I’ll put the kettle on.”

Matt and I spent the next two hours prattling on about how great our respective dates had been. If Beth had been there she would have clouted us both over the head with a muffin tray.

***

That night I called Julia and told her about Karen’s email. I could hear her tutting down the phone and shaking her head.

“She’s got a bloody cheek. Her other girlfriend’s dumped her and now she wants you back and thinks if she says sorry that’ll work? I hope you emailed her straight back and told her not to bother coming.”

“Not quite.”

“What…” she said. The exasperation in her voice was very much evident. Matters of the heart had always been so straightforward for Julia, so her patience often wore thin when life didn’t run as smoothly for others.

“You’re not…” I could hear the question in her voice.

“No I’m not,” I said.

“Well, good.”

“But I also don’t want to react straightaway – I want to let it sink in for a bit and consider my answer. I’m sure she didn’t knock that email up in ten minutes.”

“Send it to me, I want to see it.”

“Thing is, I don’t know what to say just yet. I mean, I don’t want to see her. But then again I don’t want to reply like a hysterical harlot saying ‘don’t you come to England’…”

“Why not? It’s your bloody country.”

“I think the Queen might disagree with you.”

“If Liz knew what Karen had done she’d be on your side. Look, I know you still have a thing for Karen…”

“I don’t…” I said. Defensive.

“I know you don’t in that way, but you’re still…” She paused to locate the right word. “Vulnerable.”

“I am not vulnerable.” I was double-defensive now.

“Trust me, you are. It’s a fault of yours,” Julia said. “I haven’t even met the woman and I hate her. I don’t want you meeting her. You’ve just met someone and you like her – don’t let Karen ruin that.”

“I’m not going to. But I also can’t stop her coming. She’s got some fucking timing, I’ll give her that.”

“Have you told Lucy?” she asked.

“No.”

“Don’t. It’s not very sexy telling someone you’ve just slept with that your ex wants you back. Just let it ride, reply to Karen saying you’re not up for meeting her and to have a nice life. Then you can get back to your life now, not a year ago. You were miserable with her, don’t forget that.”

“I suppose.”

“Don’t let this get in the way of now. She’s already ruined enough of your life.” Julia sounded like she was summing up a case.

I agreed with her that I wouldn’t tell Lucy and that I’d mail Karen back putting her off. However, I had a funny feeling that just telling her on email wasn’t going to be the full stop that Julia seemed to imagine. She didn’t know Karen like I did.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

After such an inauspicious start to the week, it went steadily downhill from there, dragging my mood down with it. Lucy’s cousin took up her first couple of evenings and then she had a work dinner she couldn’t get out of. I arranged to have dinner with Adam to try to drag myself out of my teenage funk at not seeing Lucy. It wasn’t going to be easy.

He turned up at the Japanese restaurant we’d agreed to meet at looking tanned and tweezed. He’d clearly had his eyebrows done recently and I found myself touching mine and wishing I had a gay man’s beauty regime to fall back on – they always put me to shame. He was dressed immaculately, something I couldn’t always accuse him of.

“You look gorgeous, darling,” I said.

“Thanks, sweets.”

He kissed me on both cheeks and ordered an Asahi beer for both of us. Adam eschewed all gay logic by shunning the gym and drinking carbs. He drew the line at chips and bread, though: “At least there’s a point to drinking beer,” was his motto.

I asked him if there was any reason he was looking so dapper.

“I’ve decided it’s time to up my game,” he said. “I shagged one of my staff last week and that’s always a worrying sign.”

“Oh my god – you’ve turned into one of those sleazy managers, well done. I always knew you had it in you.” I patted his arm in congratulatory manner.

“It was too good an opportunity to refuse.” He shook his head. “He was throwing himself at me at some after-work drinks and he’s by far the prettiest man who’s ever worked there. I think it’s the lure of power.” Adam eyed up the dishes as they passed us at eye level on the sushi train.

“Oh yes, shift manager at a call centre – always floats my boat.”

“He’s Bulgarian.” Adam shrugged as if that explained everything.

“Well here’s to Bulgarians and the odd things they find attractive.”

“Doing my bit to unite Europe.”

“Selfless.”

“Anyway, he wasn’t bad but it’s time to move on. He’s certainly not husband material and I’m at the time of life where that’s important now. I want my husband to at least be able to speak English in full sentences.”

“Fussy.”

“So my mother would say. It’s depressing, though – after ten years in London I think I’ve even exhausted Gaydar, same old men turning up again and again. And Grindr. So I had a wardrobe de-clutter the other day, finished painting my new flat, then went and blew a stack of cash on new clothes and shoes.”

“Intensive. All this is in aid of finding a new man?” I took a swig of my beer.

“Yep. And finding a new job, too – now I’ve moved, that’s next on my list. You’ve been an inspiration working in a café – I’d love to do that. So I’ve decided to retrain as a chef.”

“Wow, that’s great.”

Adam smiled as he took a salmon sashimi from the passing food train.

“Want one?” he said.

I took one from his plate, dabbed the top of the rice with wasabi and dipped it in my tiny tray of soy sauce. The wasabi was stronger than I’d anticipated and I recoiled as it hit my sinuses. Adam was oblivious, though – having already demolished his salmon, he was now busy selecting our next trays from the train of food chugging past.

As he filled me in on his future plans, I filled him in on Lucy and he seemed impressed – mainly that she had a motorbike and had turned up at my work in a leather jacket.

“Always been a dream of mine that,” he said. “You haven’t been on her bike yet?”

“Nope. We’ve only had one date remember?”

“Get her to take you out and you can live my dream for me.”

I promised him I would. However, I wasn’t sure when that would be and that was making me sad. Kate, Tess and Julia were all on tenterhooks wondering when it was going to happen but I simply didn’t know and I was beginning to worry that what I thought had been a great first date had only been in my mind alone. To my horror, I appeared to be turning into one of those women who pine and analyse constantly.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

By Thursday I was miserable, whereas Matt was buoyant, having met up with Natalie and arranged his next date for Saturday when they were both kid-free. I’d pointed out that was the sign of a sure-thing but he didn’t want to get his hopes up or jinx things. Sometimes, women’s magazines got it so wrong – all the men I knew were so far off the Cosmo-imagined caveman versions.

Julia could sense my fatalism too when she’d called earlier in the week.

“Why don’t you just go round and see her?” she’d asked.

“I don’t know her address.”

“So call her and ask!” She was getting exasperated. “She’s not going to be put off by that is she?”

“No.” Sulky.

“And if she is, then you run a mile. If you like her, call her.”

“I don’t want to bother her when she has her cousin. She texted me and told me she’d try to get away.”

“So she’s been in contact?”

“Every day.” Julia sighed.

“Then stop being so dramatic and get this out of the way before the weekend. I don’t want you walking around pining just because you haven’t seen her. See her, have a shag and then come on my hen weekend and be happy, okay? And write that email to Karen, too – I know you haven’t done it yet so don’t try to tell me you have.”

***

Julia was correct. Four days had slunk by and I had been resolutely avoiding my emails, as if not looking at them would make them vanish into thin air. Tonight I promised myself I was going to deal with Karen and Lucy but in slightly different ways: prioritise the women in my life as they should be.

Lucy was obviously thinking the same thing (minus the Karen bit) as she pulled up outside the café at 4pm. When she walked in the door my heart flipped: she was carrying a bunch of white roses and looking gorgeous.

“Sorry, we’re closed…” Matt began coming out of the back, not realising I was out there and who it was. When he saw Lucy, he smiled and disappeared into the kitchen.

Lucy’s smile lit up the café as she walked towards me. I took the roses she offered and breathed in their scent.

“They’re lovely, thanks,” I said, blushing. This was ridiculous.

“It’s good to see you.” She touched my arm lightly and looked bashful. Her eyes sparkled and her skin glowed. “I came to offer you a lift home.”

“I only live round the corner.”

“Well you can help me push the bike round the corner then.” She nodded out the window.

“Okay.” All my blood surged down my body. “Give me a minute.”

With Lucy right in front of me, suddenly all thoughts of Karen and impending doom had flown out the window. What I wanted right now was right here in the café waiting to take me home.

“I’ll be right here,” she said. She sat down at the nearest table. “Take your time.”

I finished clearing the side, then went into the kitchen where Matt was waiting with my coat and bag all ready. I could have kissed him. I said goodbye and we were off, nearly tripping over each other as we wheeled the bike in the humid summer haze.

“So you got off early today, then?”

We were outside my flat and Lucy began the laborious process of locking up her bike. She walked up and kissed me in reply, then went back to the lock. Okay, if this is how we were going to play it that was fine with me. I could do dark, brooding, sexy – no problem. Lucy’s face was a mess of concentration as she leaned over her bike, her butt an invitation encased in denim.