Authors: Cher Carson
She reached down to pick up
the clothes he’d peeled off of her earlier. “Of course I like kids. Who
doesn’t?”
He chuckled. “I have to
admit, I hadn’t given it much thought until lately.”
She turned her back to slip
into her clothes. Modesty seemed ridiculous at this point, but she wanted to
hide her face, more than her body, from his prying eyes. He was a seasoned cop
who read people for a living. It wouldn’t take him long to figure out she was
hiding something.
Rachel cleared her throat,
praying didn’t sound as anxious as she felt. “What made you start thinking
about it recently?”
“Jake mentioned he and Jess
are planning on starting a family as soon as they get married. Most of my
buddies are married now. Some have families. It’s probably time for me to start
thinking along those lines.” He reached out to pull her against him. “You ever
think about getting married and having a couple of babies, beautiful?”
She prayed he couldn’t see
her heart thudding against her chest. “I, uh, just got out of a bad marriage,
Tucker. I can’t imagine being ready to rush into something like that any time
soon.” That was yet another reason they were all wrong for each other. She
hoped he could see that.
“That asshole didn’t deserve
you.” He kissed her neck. “But I do.”
If only he knew she was the
one who didn’t deserve him. “Those are the kinds of things you think about when
you’re settled in your life and career, Tucker. I’m not even close. You, on the
other hand, are exactly where you need to be to start making plans for the
future. You should definitely start looking for a nice girl who’s ready to
settle down.” The thought of him finding someone else shouldn’t make her want
to cry, but it did.
“I have met a nice girl,” he
whispered in her ear.
She tried to pry his arms
from around her waist, but he wasn’t budging. “You don’t even know me. How can
you say that?”
“I have good instincts about
people, Rachel.” He buried his face in her hair. “My gut tells me you are a
nice girl who hasn’t had too many breaks in life. Maybe I could help change
that.”
Rachel closed her eyes and
leaned against his chest. “It’s not that simple.”
“We could have a great life
together, you and me. I’ve already got a pretty sweet life already, but having
someone like you to share it with would make it just about perfect.”
She allowed herself a rare
moment to indulge in his fantasy. Sharing his home, building relationships with
his friends and family, pursuing her dream of building a successful dance
studio, raising her daughter with a man who loved her… it sounded amazing, but
she knew it was an impossible dream. As long as Glen was still on the hunt and
the police in Arkansas were looking for her, she had to live her life a
prisoner to her past.
“You’re getting ahead of
yourself,” she whispered. “We just met. Besides, there’s no way I could give you
the kind of life you want.”
He turned her to face him.
“Baby, listen to me. I’ve dated plenty of women, but none have ever made me
feel this way. There’s something different about you.” He framed her face with
his hands. “Don’t tell me you don’t feel it.” He leaned in to kiss her. “Maybe
this is it, Rachel, what we’ve both been waiting for.”
Rachel closed her eyes,
refusing to look at him. No matter where she ended up, she knew she would never
forget Tucker or the brief moments of happiness she’d found in his arms. “You’re
pretty idealistic for a cop, aren’t you?” She knew belittling what he was
feeling, what they were both feeling, would sting, but it would be nothing
compared to the hurt and betrayal of finding out she’d lied to him and
concealed her true identity because she was running from the police in her home
state. A man like Tucker would never be able to forgive that kind of betrayal.
He took a step back as he let
his hands fall to his side. “I’ve been called a lot of things, but idealistic
isn’t one of them.” He frowned, as though he was trying to make sense of a
complex problem. “If someone had told me I’d feel this way about you after such
a short time, I’d have told them they were crazy. But I don’t run and I don’t
hide. If I’m feeling something for you, I’m going to tell you.” He looked her
in the eye. “And if I get kicked in the teeth, so be it. At least I had the
courage to own my feelings, Rachel. Can you say the same?”
Rachel watched him pick up
his clothes and slip into the adjoining restroom. She knew he wasn’t expecting
a response to his question, which was just as well, because his declaration
left her speechless.
By the time Rachel turned the
key in the lock of the furnished apartment she shared with her mother and
daughter, she was exhausted, physically and emotionally. Tucker’s words came
back to haunt her repeatedly throughout the day. He thought she was a coward.
He’d said as much. Little did he know how brave she’d had to be just to survive.
“There you are,” her mother
said, meeting her at the door. “I tried calling you on your cell. You didn’t
pick up. Where have you been?”
Rachel pulled her phone out
of her pocket. There was a missed call from Tucker. She forwarded the calls
from her studio to her cell, so she wouldn’t miss a client’s call, but she
hadn’t expected to hear from him after the way he left her studio. He was
obviously angry, disappointed, and questioning what he’d seen in her in the first
place.
“Sorry, Mama, I guess it was
on vibrate.”
“I wanted to ask you to pick
up some garlic bread to go with the spaghetti and meatballs I made for dinner.”
What would she do without her
mother? Joyce cared for Madison, made sure Rachel remembered to eat, and often
provided a shoulder to cry on when the fear and depression were too much to
bear alone. “Sorry. I guess we’ll just have to do without tonight.”
Joyce grabbed her chin. “You
been cryin’?”
Rachel cleared her throat and
tried to look her away, but her mother wasn’t having it. “It’s just been a
rough day.”
Joyce put her arm around her
daughter and led her into the tiny kitchen. She forced her to sit down at a
bistro table tucked away in the corner as she boiled water in the kettle. “You
snuck out of the house before we had a chance to talk this morning. You gonna
tell me what happened with the chief last night?”
The thought of talking to her
mother about her sex life was mortifying, but Rachel knew she wasn’t going to
let it go without getting some answers. “We had a nice time together. He’s a
good guy.”
Joyce propped her fist on her
hip and frowned. “That’s it? That’s all you’re gonna say about it?”
“There’s not much more to
say.”
“Huh, I don’t know him well,
but I have seen him around town and heard a fair bit about him from the ladies
at the seniors’ center. He sounds like a stand-up guy. I didn’t think he’d be
the type to use you for sex and cast you aside like yesterday’s garbage.”
She gasped at her mother’s
choice of words. Nothing could be further from the truth. Tucker made her feel
cherished… respected… loved. “He’s nothing like that!”
Her mother smiled. “I didn’t
think so. You gonna tell me what really happened?”
Rachel sighed as she propped
her chin in her hand. “He’s just about the kindest, sweetest, sexiest man I’ve
ever met.” She blushed when she realized she’d said the last aloud.
Joyce laughed. “Don’t worry.
I’m not so old that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel that way about a
man.”
“Too bad the timing couldn’t
be any worse.”
Her mother poured hot water
into mugs and prepared herbal tea for two. “How much have you told him about
your past?”
Tucker knew more than her
mother did, in some respects. Her mother didn’t know about the scars, or the
fact that Glen had been an abusive man who hid behind the title “dominant” to
excuse his abhorrent behavior. “I told him as much as I could about Glen.” She
looked her mother in the eye. “I told him about my childhood.” She smiled. “How
strong and brave you were, raising both of us alone.” She cleared her throat.
“I told him about the overdose.” Her sister’s suicide was something she and her
mother rarely talked about. It was too painful.
“It sounds like you told him
a lot more than you should have.”
“Do you know how long it’s
been since I’ve been able to open up to someone like that?” She reached for the
mug her mother set down in front of her. “Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so
comfortable with someone.”
Her mother stroked her hair,
a sad smile tugging at her lips. “I always hoped you’d meet a man like that one
day, but I imagined the circumstances would be different.” Joyce claimed the
seat next to Rachel and took her hand. “Honey, you know this can’t go anywhere,
don’t you?”
A tear slipped down Rachel’s
cheek and she brushed it away. “I know, Mama. It’s just nice to pretend for a
little while, ya know?”
Joyce tucked a strand of hair
behind Rachel’s ear and smiled. “We all need a little fantasy now and then, but
it’s important to realize that’s all it is, sugar.”
Rachel nodded as she tried to
swallow the stubborn lump in her throat. “I know,” she whispered. “But today,
he started talking about the future, and the picture he painted sounded so
incredible. It was so much more than I’d ever allowed myself to fantasize about
before.”
Joyce sighed. “That’s why men
like Tucker can be so dangerous. It would be too easy for you to trust him, to
fall in love with him. Honey, we both know, given your situation, that could
only end in heartache for everyone involved.” She took a sip of tea before
looking her daughter in the eye. “Your little girl needs her mama. If Tucker
finds out the truth, you could lose your baby.”
Madison was the only good
thing in Rachel’s life, aside from her mother. She was the reason she woke up
in the morning, the reason she worked so hard to put food on the table. That
little girl was the reason she kept fighting so hard.
“Speaking of my baby girl… is
she in her room?”
“No, she’s next door playing
with Amy.”
Rachel didn’t like the idea
of her daughter playing in an unsecured environment, where her father could
drive by and snatch her before anyone heard her scream, but she’d already taken
Maddie away from her friends, her home, and everything she loved. The least she
could do was allow her to have one friend outside of school.
Rachel glanced at her watch.
“What time will she be home?”
Joyce looked at the wall
clock. “Any minute now. You hungry?”
She hadn’t had time for lunch
after Tucker’s impromptu visit, but his outburst effectively killed her
appetite anyway. Thinking he’d want to take her out to dinner tonight after
their conversation was foolish. “I could eat, I guess.”
Joyce smacked her hand. “You
have to eat, girl. You’ve been working from sun-up to sundown since we moved
here. Damn near seven days a week. You’re gonna make yourself sick if you don’t
keep your strength up.”
Before Rachel could respond,
her cell phone vibrated. Tucker’s name flashed across the screen and her heart
leapt to her throat. “It’s him,” she whispered, as though she feared someone
may overhear. “What should I do?”
Her mother looked from her to
the buzzing phone. “What do you want to do?”
“I want to talk to him.”
Joyce rolled her eyes. “Well
then, pick up the damn phone before the man hangs up.”
Rachel quickly pressed the
connect button. “Hello!” She winced when she realized she probably shattered
his eardrum.
“Hey, baby…”
His voice slid over her like
warm honey: thick, sweet, and decadent. “Hi, Tucker.”
“When you didn’t answer my
call earlier, I was afraid you didn’t want to talk to me.”
She heard his unspoken angst
in the brief sigh that followed his statement.
“Jesus, Rachel, I was
thinking about you all afternoon. I’d never forgive myself if I messed this up
because I pushed you too hard. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
She wanted to tell him he had
nothing to apologize for, but she couldn’t get the words out.
“Please, say something. Tell
me you’re still willing to see me tonight. Let me make this up to you.”
She knew exactly how he felt;
she was right there with him. Fear, anger, sadness, disappointment… Still, she
couldn’t see him again. It was best to end it now, before she fell any deeper. “I’m
sorry. I can’t.” She lowered her head when she heard him mutter a curse. She’d
never meant to hurt him. He didn’t deserve this.
“Don’t do this.” He sighed.
“Listen to me, I’ll back off. I promise. I won’t talk about the future. Hell,
we don’t even have to talk about the past anymore. I just want to be with you.
Please, don’t say no.”
“Tucker…”
“Sweetheart, just give me
tonight.”
The front door slammed and
Rachel knew her time was running out. “Fine, I’ll be there at 7:30.”