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Authors: Cher Carson

BOOK: Loaded
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She pushed against his
shoulders as she hung her head, forcing air into her lungs. “Oh…” She threw her
head back and barely seemed to notice when the crown of her head tapped the
closed window behind her. “Please, please don’t stop. Oh God, I need to come.”

He silently cursed the close
confines and obstacles in the vehicle. As soon as he saw to her immediate needs,
he intended to make sure he exceeded her expectations while she was spread out on
his king-size mattress.

He watched her face in the glow
of the overhead streetlights. She was stunning when she released the fear, let
go of her internal struggle, and entrusted her body to him. Her bright green
eyes were glazed and she looked drowsy as she struggled to keep her eyelids
open. Her full lips formed a perfect O-shape, and her cheeks were warm and
flushed.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he
whispered before teasing her taut nipple through the layers of lace and cotton.

She moaned as her head rolled
from side to side.

“Come for me, baby.” He
couldn’t take much more. If he didn’t sink inside of her soon, he was going
to...

“Yes…” She clenched his
shoulders as he felt her legs tremble.

He could almost feel the
tension leave her body as she dropped her head against his chest. He withdrew
his fingers from her body slowly. There would be plenty of time to rock her
world later. Right now, he got the feeling she just needed someone to hold her
while she got her bearings. He kissed the top of her head as he stoked her
hair. “You okay, sweetheart?”

She released a shaky laugh.
“Uh, I don’t know. My whole body is shaking, my heart is pounding, there are
little spots dancing behind my eyes…”

He chuckled as he held her
close. “I’m glad to hear it.” He tipped her head back so he could press his
lips to her cheek. “You ready to go inside, or do you need a minute?”

She bit her lip and he could
tell she was still struggling with her decision. He knew she wasn’t the kind of
girl who slept with a guy on the first date. Not that this qualified as a date.
He hadn’t even taken her out to dinner and he was already inviting her up to
his bedroom, but common sense was no match for his cravings where this woman
was concerned. “Let me love you tonight, Rachel.”

A shiver moved through her
body and she snuggled in closer to him. “I want to, but I don’t think it’s a good
idea.”

He knew he had to tread lightly.
His usual approach would never work with her, not when his gut told him that
she needed a man who could be gentle and understanding. Patience had never been
his strong suit, but for her, he’d be willing to try just about anything.
“Honey, you need me tonight, just as much as I need you. We’re two unattached,
consenting adults. What happens between us is our business. If you’re worried
I’m gonna talk to my buddies about it, don’t be. I’d never disrespect you like
that.” He would love to let the world know she was his, but everyone would find
out they were a couple in due time, when she was ready. Until then, he was
willing to give her time and space to get used to the idea.

“I’m not going to lie, I’m
tempted, Tucker. It’s just that my life is so complicated right now.”

He didn’t know what that
meant, and this didn’t seem the appropriate time to dig deeper. He knew he was
going to have to earn her trust, given how their relationship started. He was
the same cop who tried to smear her reputation and run her out of town. “Your
life may be complicated, but this thing between us is simple. We’re into each
other. We want to sleep together. End of story.”

She sighed. “If only it were
that easy. You are…” she grinned, “the sexiest man I’ve ever met, bar none.”

His head and chest swelled at
the compliment. Hearing those words from her erased all the other times he’d
heard them in the past because he knew she meant them. “Thanks, and for the
record, you are hotter than hell.”

She giggled. “I’m glad you
think so, Chief.”

He’d never been at a loss
with a woman before. He wanted to tell her how he felt, but there was this
nagging voice in the back of his mind that warned against coming on too strong
and scaring her off. “Tell me what you need from me.”

She shook her head. “That’s
just it; I don’t have the right to ask anything from you. I have nothing to
offer you in return.”

He knew there was a story
behind those sad eyes, and one day, when she trusted him enough to tell him the
truth, he would hold her in his arms, let her cry, wipe away her tears, and vow
to make her forget, but tonight wasn’t that night. This was only the beginning
of what he suspected would be a long and bumpy journey for them. Women who’d
been hurt as deeply as she obviously had didn’t trust again quickly or easily.

“All I want is you, Rachel.
Just let me make love to you tonight. Let me prove how amazing it could be
between us.”

She smiled, looking shy all
of a sudden. “If that earlier performance was any indication, I’m not sure I’ll
survive it.”

He smirked. “Baby… that was
just a prelude.” His smile fell. This wasn’t the time for jokes. He needed to
table the sarcasm if he expected to earn her trust. “Look, I know you’re
scared. I am, too.”

She glanced at the gun
strapped to his waist. “I can’t imagine you being afraid of anything.”

“This thing between us hit me
like an avalanche. One minute I’m cursing you for making me miss the football
game, and the next minute I’m kissing you and I know I don’t ever want to
stop.”

She gasped. “You felt that
way, too?”

He leaned in to brush his lips
against hers. “I sure did, and I can honestly say, I’ve never experienced
anything like that before. When I make up my mind about someone, it usually
sticks.”

She ran her fingers through the
hair at his temple as she looked in to his eyes. “What made you change your
mind about me?”

“I have no idea. I saw you
standing there on the side of the road, and for a split second I thought about
leaving you there, but when I decided to jump out of my truck, it changed
everything.”

She linked her hands at the back
of his head and smiled. “What do you like about me?”

He pretended to think about
it for a minute. “Short list? Everything.”

She tugged his hair
playfully. “Shut up. I’m serious.”

“So am I.” He decided to go
out on a limb and tell her the truth. “You’re obviously passionate about dance,
and I admire people who pursue their passion.”

She frowned. “How do you know
dance is my passion?”

He was almost embarrassed to
admit this, but he’d come this far, he might as well go all the way. “I watch
you dance sometimes.” He laughed when she inched back on the seat. “I don’t
mean that I’ve had you under surveillance or anything like that. I’d be at
Mavis’s diner, grabbing lunch or a coffee, and I’d see you through the window.
You looked so absorbed, so beautiful.” He saw a different side of her when she
danced, a softer, gentler side, and he couldn’t help but be intrigued. “I
couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”

She lowered her head to hide
her smile. “Okay, what else do you like about me?”

She wasn’t going to make this
easy for him. Nor should she; paybacks were a bitch. “You were brave enough to
stand up to me.”

“Right, like I had a choice.
You came at me like you thought I was a threat to the town at large.”

He smiled. He loved her
bravado, but he was an expert at reading people and he knew her courage was all
for show. “You’re afraid of me,” he whispered. “You ready to tell me why?”

She closed her eyes and shook
her head.

At least she wasn’t denying
it was true. He didn’t tolerate liars, even when they presented an irresistible
package. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s okay. You don’t have
to tell me tonight, but I hope you will someday.”

She opened her eyes to look
at him. “This thing between us scares me. I’m not used to letting my guard down
with people, especially men.”

“Someone hurt you once.
You’ve never gotten over it.” It wasn’t a question, just a statement of fact.

She looped her arms around
his neck and buried her face in his chest.

“Maybe you’ll let me help you
get over it.”

She shook her head and
whispered, “I’ll never get over it, Tucker. What he did to me, it’s a part of
who I am now.”

“What do you mean?”

She looked up at him and her
eyes looked alarmingly vacant. “I carry the scars with me every day to remind
me.”

He could feel his heart
pounding in his chest. He’d seen that blank stare in the line of duty too many
times not to recognize it, but never on the face of someone he cared about it.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

She looked around to see if
anyone was walking down the street, but the windows were fogged up, giving them
a curtain of privacy from the outside world. She flicked the switch for the
interior light and bathed the vehicle in light.

He watched her reach for the
hem of her tank top. He had no idea what she was about to show him, but he knew
it wasn’t going to be good.

She pulled her top off and
fisted it in her hands as she bit her trembling lip in an effort to still it.
“Hideous, aren’t they?”

He tried to remain detached,
tried to see the raised scars as a cop and not as a man who cared about her,
but for the first time, he couldn’t turn his feelings off when he needed to.
The rage seeped into every pore of his body, rendering him speechless.

She turned around to reveal
her back and they were there too, on her lower back, marring her perfect skin.
Knowing he had no outlet for his rage, he did the only thing he could think of
to ease her pain. He pressed a gentle kiss to one of the faded wounds running
the width of her back.

A sob escaped her lips.
“Please don’t. They’re so horrible. I can’t bear to have anyone touch me…”

He eased her back against his
chest as he ran his hands over the raised skin on her abdomen. He kissed her
neck, wanting her to know that he still thought she was beautiful and
desirable. “Please tell me that son of a bitch is in jail.”

She closed her eyes and
leaned her back against his shoulder. “No, I…”

He didn’t want to pry, but
the cop in him was screaming for justice. No one should be allowed to walk the
streets after inflicting that kind of damage.

“I’ve never shown those scars
to another person. I didn’t even go to a doctor when it happened,” she
whispered.

He allowed the significance
of her words to sink in. “Was the prick who did this to you your lover?”

The tears glided down her
cheeks, dropping on to the forearm he had wrapped around her. “I can’t talk
about this anymore. I’m sorry.”

He pressed a kiss to her ear.
“You said you haven’t shown those scars to anyone. Does that mean you haven’t
been with anyone since it happened?”

She sniffled. “It’s been almost
two years, and before that...” She brushed the tears away with the palm of her
hands. “There was no one else. He was the only man I’ve ever slept with.”

He didn’t know what to say or
how to respond. He didn’t want her to think the scars made her any less
attractive to him. If anything, she was even more beautiful to him because she
hadn’t allowed that abusive bastard to steal her spirit. But he didn’t want to
push her too far out of her comfort zone tonight.

She kissed his arm. “Thank
you for not pressing me about what happened.”

“Just know that whenever
you’re ready to talk about it, I’m here to listen, sweetheart.”

“Can we go inside now,
Tucker?”

He didn’t want to assume that
meant she was ready to pick up where they’d left off earlier, but he was
silently praying that was the case. He wanted to protect her and make her feel
safe. If she was ready to make love to him, he would make sure it was
everything she needed, but if she just wanted someone to hold her, he could be that
guy too. “Yeah, let’s go, baby.”

She turned into his arms and
tipped her head back to look him in the eye. “Do you still want to… I mean… are
you still interested after you saw…”

He pressed his finger against
her lips. “I want you like I have never wanted another woman, Rachel. I can be
as gentle as you need me to be tonight, or we can wait until you’re ready.
Either way, the decision is yours.”

She gave him a wobbly smile.
“I’m ready,” she whispered.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Four

 

Rachel couldn’t believe she’d
shown Tucker her scars. Part of the reason she’d avoided intimacy for so long
was because of her badge of shame. They screamed victim, and she didn’t want
anyone to know about her past.

She glanced around the main
living area when they walked into the small foyer. She could see the family
room, dining room, and staircase from the foyer. The furnishings were large
scale, dark wood, with the requisite large screen TV and leather sofas she
expected to find in the family room. She could imagine him hosting Superbowl
parties for his buddies, backyard barbeques, and impromptu get-togethers to
watch the hockey game on Saturday night. He had strong roots in this community.
It had been his home forever, and from what she’d heard, people loved and
respected him.

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