Living with Shadows (35 page)

Michael had serious reservations about the people who were supposedly there to help him. By now he had a totally negative outlook on life and whatever anyone tried to do for him, he would find fault with it. Kate began to believe that the letters, especially the fantasy parts, were the only thing that were keeping him alive, and that put an awful lot of pressure on her to carry on accepting them. At night she would lie awake wondering how to get out of this mess she’d got herself into. She was in an impossible situation. His hopelessness had become her conviction but now it was a question of where or how it would all end.

A car horn tooted and she looked out of the bedroom window.
God,
why
is
she
always
so
early?
Sam’s white Fiat was parked outside the front door, engine purring. She could see Ben in the back. They were going shopping, choosing their outfits for the wedding. She scooted around the bedroom, slipping into shoes and throwing on a jumper and trousers before rushing downstairs, breathless, as another blast from the horn tore through the house.

‘Hurry up, Mum. Why are you always late?’ she grumbled. Kate was hardly in the car before Sam was checking her mirror, thrusting into gear and pulling off down the road.

‘Hi, Ben, you all right?’ Kate turned to look at him. His dark hair already showed strands of grey but his face seemed less gaunt, a good sign. She wondered how long it would be before she needn’t look for signs.

‘Fine,’ he answered.

‘Any luck on the job front?’

Sam jumped in before Ben had time to answer. ‘We need to stop off for some paint. Ben’s decorating the front room for us. He’s already papered the walls. Looks pretty good, too.’

Kate recognised Sam’s gagging tactic and remained silent.

‘Don’t sound so surprised,’ he said. ‘I’m not totally useless.’

‘In that case you can do ours when you’ve finished.’ She looked at Sam who smiled and glanced in the mirror for her brother’s reaction. Kate remembered them as children. Nothing much had changed. Sam still had the upper hand.

Kate looked at herself critically in the mirror while an assistant hovered around, smoothing out the shoulders of her jacket and arranging her hat at various angles. Her dark shoulder length hair stuck out beneath it.

Before Kate had chance to comment, the assistant suddenly grabbed the offending strands and pulled them back behind her ears. ‘A French roll with a few loose twists will be perfect for this hat,’ she offered.

‘Don’t you think it’s a bit on the big side?’ She never liked hats at the best of times.

‘Oh no, not too big at all, and it’s a perfect match for those shoes.’

Kate wasn’t sure that being a perfect match with the shoes was a priority but what did she know? She hadn’t bought an outfit like this since she and Jim were married. Realising she was not the best judge, she decided to take her word for it.

‘Would you mind coming upstairs? Your daughter wants your opinion on her dress.’ A wafer thin teenager, blonde hair tied up in a pony tail and far too much make up appeared on the stairs.

‘Should I stay here?’ Ben asked.

‘Of course,’ belted out Kate’s assistant. ‘You know what they say about the groom seeing his bride in her wedding dress before the big day.’

‘He isn’t . . .’

‘Doesn’t matter, Mum. I’ll stay here.’

‘Oh . . . he’s your son. Oo, pardon me,’ she tittered at her mistake and turned to Ben. ‘You’re welcome to take a look if you like.’

Ben just held up his hand and smiled as she went up the stairs still giggling at her faux pas. Being in a room full of women while they gushed about how wonderful Sam looked in her wedding dress probably wasn’t Ben’s thing anyway. He’d already sat through her fitting and a quick glance at his bored expression was confirmation of this.

The room above was almost identical to the one downstairs except two of the walls were lined with bridesmaids’ dresses instead of wedding gowns. Three free-standing mirrors were positioned in the middle of the room to allow an all round view of the garment. Sam stood in the centre of the mirrors and as Kate stepped closer, she could see three images of her from different angles.

‘Oh, Sam, it’s beautiful.’

‘You don’t think this neckline is too low, do you, Mum?’

‘It’s perfect . . . you look perfect.’ Her daughter’s smile broadened and Kate knew that whatever she had said would have made no difference—Sam was happy with it. Her own wedding dress had been hired. She remembered the missing sequins. An omen if ever there was one.

On the way home Ben again sat in the back surrounded by parcels. A tin of barley coloured gloss was in the boot, the only purchase of the day that Ben had shown a real interest in.

That evening Kate sat thinking about how beautiful Sam had looked and how much she was looking forward to the wedding. She had noticed a much friendlier relationship between Sam and Ben, something she hadn’t seen in years, and it gave her a sense of contentment along with the hope that things were turning a corner with him. If anyone could help him, it was Sam, but only as long as he towed the line. She wished she could be as firm with her son.

Her perfect day was almost sullied by the thought of work. She was wondering what to do for the group part of the lesson when she came across a pile of picture cards of famous paintings. She decided to give the students an exercise in imaginative writing. They could choose a card and write a story about whatever that picture conveyed to them.

Michael chose a picture of a dinosaur and wrote a story about time travel. As usual, it was badly punctuated with no paragraphs but Kate thought it a reasonable story, humorous and fairly well structured, so she offered to type it up for him in the hope that once he saw it in print it might encourage him to write more stories and fewer letters.

A short story

by

Michael McKeown

After arriving in the age of the dinosaurs in my time machine, I stepped outside to see what it was like and looked around. It was very quiet. There was nothing around but dust and rocks. Then I heard a noise and a few seconds later I could feel the ground moving. The noise began to get closer and closer. It sounded like thunder. I walked to where I thought the noise was coming from. I climbed a hill and as I looked over I saw all these dinosaurs. They were massive. I decided to get a closer look, which was a big mistake as one of these things saw me. I just stood and looked at the creature. Then it started coming towards me. My heart was starting to pound like mad. I looked around but there was nowhere to hide. This thing was now moving faster towards me so I thought I’d better get out of here. I reckoned it must be hungry and I didn’t fancy being its next meal.

I ran as fast as I could but I knew it was gaining on me as I could feel the ground thud under the weight of its massive feet. I thought, what have I landed myself in for coming here? Then I saw a little gap in the side of the hill and jumped in as quick as I could. The stupid dinosaur ran straight by me. I thought, I’m not moving from here for a while, at least until I’ve had a good rest.

I looked around this place I was hiding in. It was very dark. I had my lighter on me so I took it out and lit it. All I could see were these eyes looking at me. I couldn’t see what it was but it seemed more afraid of me than I was of it. I moved a little closer to this thing. When I saw what it was I nearly died. It was a cave woman. I didn’t think there were any humans around in this time. Anyway, I felt a little more relaxed. I kept staring at her and looked her up and down as you do. She wasn’t that clean but this was no surprise as they probably never heard of washing, yet I was more interested in what she was wearing. It looked like animal fur which just about covered her up. She didn’t look all that old and she wasn’t all that bad looking either which was a surprise. Anyway, she couldn’t speak a word of English. She didn’t seem frightened of me but looked more interested in what I was wearing and how I looked. I was as interested in her as she was in me. I wondered if there were any more like her around. She suddenly moved forward and put her hand on my face and touched my hair. I was starting to enjoy this a lot. Then I thought, why don’t I do the same and touch her, but I didn’t stop at her face. She didn’t mind a bit and even seemed to enjoy it. I forgot all about the dinosaurs and why I had come here in the first place. I wanted to take her back to my time. I decided to see if it was safe to go outside. If the coast was clear I would make a move. I tried to get her to follow me but she wouldn’t.

When I got outside I realised she was behind me, and then she made a sign for me to follow her, so I did. I wondered where she was taking me but followed her anyway until we came across a large valley. I couldn’t believe my eyes. There were more people around. She took me to them and they seemed very friendly. They seemed fascinated by me. I had all these eyes on me and I wondered what they made of me. Anyway, I couldn’t see any men, just women. They had little children with them but even they were all girls. I wondered what had happened to the men. Maybe they all got killed by the dinosaurs, who knows, but all I know is that I had all these women around me and they had this funny look in their eyes. Then, suddenly, they all came towards me. They held me down and tied me up. Then they took me to this hut. It smelt bad. One of the women came in with a piece of wood on fire which lit the place up. I looked around and saw all these dead bodies. These women had killed them.

At that moment I heard this thunderous noise and once again I could feel the ground move. I heard all these screams coming from outside the hut and realised there were a few hungry dinosaurs in the area. I had to make my escape while I could. I managed to untie myself and found a way out without the dinosaurs seeing me, and made my way back to my time machine. I soon changed my mind about taking one of these women back. I’d had enough for one day.

The End

When she handed it to him he was obviously pleased and genuinely grateful to her for having taken so much trouble over it. He said it looked like a
real
story.

‘You should write more stories, Michael. You could get them published in the prison magazine.’

‘I’ll think about it,’ was all he said, and she doubted very much if she would ever see another from him.

It was not until he joined the queue at the counter that Jim realised he had brought no money with him. The trolley full of supplies that Helen had asked him to collect would have to be put to one side and collected later in the day. Since he was nearer to Helen’s, it made sense to go straight there rather than all the way back home to pick up his wallet. He wondered whether to call her first and then dismissed the idea. If she was out it did not matter; he had his own key.

The thought of this insignificant object, its golden hue conspicuous among the bunch of silver keys, sent his pulse racing. He had used it recently when he called in to see her unexpectedly. The flowers he had taken were partly a gesture to show his gratitude for the watch she’d bought him and also because of his elation at the success of his reunion with his daughter which he was anxious to tell her all about. There was no hint of suspicion from Kate when he said he was staying away for an extra night. She was still too wrapped up in her own affairs to question what he was doing.