Living With Lies Trilogy (Books 1, 2, and 3 of The Dancing Moon Ranch Series) (51 page)

"I've had time to think about what happened at the spring and how wrong I was to set aside my ring on the finger rule before sex, and that's what you had planned," she said, giving him a partial truth. "You were even counting the hours. I'm sorry if I left you frustrated, but if we start meeting in the cabin we'll eventually get caught and I already feel like the ranch tramp."

"Oh man, I'm sorry, honey. I didn't think of that," Sam said, and looked at her with total remorse, as if he hadn't even considered it, which made Jayne feel guilty for making him feel that way when it had nothing to do with the real reason she didn't meet him at the cabin.

"It's okay," she replied, and tried to sound sincere.

"No, it's not okay," Sam said. "And you're right. I've been acting like all I want is to get you in bed and you know that's not true. Well it is, but, you know what I mean."

"Yes, I do know," Jayne said, in all honesty.

"Then let's do things right," Sam said, "Ricky will be with Susan this weekend, and I know a quiet little French restaurant in town that's off the main drag. At least we can talk there without anyone seeing us, and without me attacking you. When I'm alone with you it's hard not to."

Jayne smiled. "I'd like that. Meanwhile, I need to get back to the kids, and you need to get back to the winery."

Sam started to reach for her, then dropped his arm, and said, "You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now."

"Maybe I do," Jayne replied.

Sam touched her face, then turned and left.

As Jayne watched him walk off, for the first time since they'd met she was ready to come clean. Sam deserved the truth. Having dinner at a quiet little restaurant would set the stage, and once back at the ranch they'd go to his house, where she'd tell him the whole hideous truth. And she was ready to accept whatever decision he'd make when she was finished.

CHAPTER 7

As Sam was on his way from his house to the lodge, he caught sight of Jack in his peripheral vision. He wasn't in the mood to placate his twin about anything, but from the determined way Jack was closing the gap between them, he knew he had something to say and intended to say it now. Still, he lengthened his strides, hoping Jack would get the idea that now wasn't the time to hash things out, and go back to whatever he'd been doing.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked, while falling into step beside him.

"Obviously to the lodge," Sam clipped, "not that it's any of your business."

"Look, I'm sorry about the things I said about Jayne," Jack said, surprising the hell out of Sam. Jack wasn't one to offer apologies unless he was certain he was wrong about something, and even then, he didn't do it too readily. "She seems to be working out fine."

"She's more than working out fine," Sam said. "She's got this place running again because she's smart and competent. Is that all you wanted to tell me?"

"No," Jack said, "I was wondering what the status was with the two of you."

"Why?" Sam stepped up his pace.

Jack matched his strides. "Look, I said I was sorry. I misjudged her, okay?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Sam said, not in the mood for Jack's company at the moment. Sometimes the man could irritate the hell out of him. Just because Jack had the perfect life now, he thought he could run everyone else's. "Did it ever occur to you that I might be able to decide on my own who to make my life with?"

"Yeah, it occurred to me," Jack said. "You taking her out tonight?"

"No, I just dress like this to go to the feed store," Sam said, with irony, then regretted it. Jack was actually being reasonable, and maybe it was time to clue him in on what was happening. Jayne had more than proved herself up to the job, and Jack was no longer pressing for a background check. "Sorry," he said. "Yeah, I'm taking her out to dinner. We started everything out backwards with what happened at the spring. That wasn't either of us. Now we're going to take it slow. She wants a ring on her finger before sex, so that's what I plan to give her."

"Wait a minute," Jack said, clamping a hand on Sam's arm to stop him. "You're not planning to give her a ring tonight are you? That would be insane."

"Yeah, well maybe I am insane right now," Sam said, "but I want her for my wife."

"Hell, Sam. We're back to square one," Jack said, his hand still firm on Sam's arm. "You just told me you were going to take things slow. Or is it that you just want a ring on her finger so you can have sex with her again?"

Sam shook off Jack's arm and glared at him. "You still don't get it, do you?"

"Yeah, I get it," Jack said. "You're doing what I did with Lauren. You've got the hots for a woman, and you've got that thing in your pants running your life right now."

Sam didn't know when he'd clenched his fist or thrown the punch, but Jack managed to duck it, sending Sam lurching forward and stumbling. Jack had always been the faster of the two, which also aggravated the hell out of him. "I'm sorry I missed," he said. "Next time I won't. And don't ever compare Jayne to Lauren or Susan again. Either wish me well with her or stay the hell out of my life." He stepped up his pace, and Jack didn't follow.

When he entered the lodge, he found Jayne standing at the check-in desk. She was wearing a sun-back dress in patterns of turquoise and brown, and with her hair its usual disarray of black waves framing her face, he was sure there wasn't a woman alive who could match her in beauty, or her brains, and she was his woman… would one day be his wife. He looked around, and seeing no one, pulled her into his arms and kissed her the way he'd been fantasizing for days, and she returned the kiss with an urgency that continued to surprise him.

"Honey, you look beautiful," he said, wondering if there was any way he could possibly love a woman more. But he wouldn't keep reminding her of that. She wanted to take things slow, and he would, after he gave her the ring. Images of having her in his home, and in his bed, and making love as husband and wife had been dominating his thoughts.

Thirty minutes later, in a quiet corner of Chez Maurice, Sam sat across from Jayne at a table small enough that he could comfortably hold her hand. They'd already decided what they wanted, but no one had come to take the order, but as Sam gazed across the flickering flame of the candle in the center of the table, while Jayne talked about listing the ranch on websites as a way to generate business, he glanced beyond her, and stared in shocked surprise.

Jayne, catching his reaction, said with a worried frown, "What's wrong?"

Sam eyed the woman who'd once been married to Jack, and who was standing not more than fifteen feet away and looking steadily at him, and said, "It's Jack's ex-wife, Lauren. She apparently waits tables here."

"Then we should leave," Jayne said, in an anxious voice. "Your mother said she was friends with Susan. It could get back to Ricky."

"Too late," Sam said. "She's coming to take our order."

Jayne pulled her hand from his and rested it against her forehead and didn't look up as Lauren approached the table.

"Hello, Sam," Lauren said. "I'm surprised to see you here." Her eyes shifted to Jayne, who sat with her hand shielding her face, head bent over the menu. "Are you ready to order?"

"Yeah." Sam relayed to Lauren what they'd selected, aware that Jayne never looked up, which surprised him. Although it was awkward, there was no reason for her to feel uneasy. Lauren was nothing to Jack, or to the Hansen family, and the fact that she was one of Susan's cohorts didn't matter because Susan no longer mattered.

"Are you finished with the menu?" Lauren asked Jayne.

Jayne nodded, and without looking up, closed the menu and handed it to her. After Lauren left, Sam reached across the table and took Jayne's hand again, and said, "Don't let it put a damper on the evening, honey. We're here to enjoy the food and wine. If Lauren wants to report that to Susan, it doesn't matter."

Jayne gave him a faltering smile, and said, "It's Ricky I'm thinking of."

"Well, we're not screwing around so Lauren won't have anything to report to Susan."

"Except that we're doing this." She removed her hand from his.

The wine steward came with the wine, served some to Sam, who sampled it and approved, then poured it into their long-stemmed glasses and left.

While sipping wine, and nibbling on French hors d'oeuvres, and waiting for their dinners to arrive, Sam tried to engage Jayne in conversation, but she seemed preoccupied. "What's going on?" he asked. "I've lost you."

"I'm sorry," Jayne replied. She lifted the glass, and while holding the stem in a shaking hand, took a slow sip, then set the glass down, almost toppling it.

Sam steadied the glass and took her hand. "Your hand's shaking again. Why?"

Jayne gave a nervous laugh. "Like I said, you make my heart flutter and my hands shake."

"I'm not buying any of this," Sam replied. "You weren't shaking when we came in. Is it Lauren?"

Jayne shrugged. "It's awkward with her here. I'm tired of having to hold back with you. She's another example that maybe it isn't to be… us in a relationship."

"I hope this will be more than a relationship," Sam said. "You know how I feel about you."

"I know how you
think
you feel about me, Sam, but—"

Jayne's words were cut off when Lauren came with their dinners and placed one plate in front of him, and the other in front of Jayne, who cupped her hand over her forehead and didn't look up. "Are you okay?" Sam asked, wondering if she had a headache. She'd been holding her hand against her head since they'd ordered.

Jayne's eyes shifted to the side, and after Lauren walked off, she lowered her hand, raised her head, and said, "Just a little tired. It was a long day." She gave him an uncertain smile and picked up her fork, which was noticeably shaking in her hand.

"Being tired doesn't cause shaking hands," Sam said, concerned. "When was the last time you had a physical?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, I'm fine. See." Jayne held out a stiff hand, palm down. For the moment it seemed stable, but when she lifted her fork, he saw a definite tremble again. It occurred to him that maybe she had some kind of palsy that she was trying to hide, an illness, something to do with having a baby, or maybe preventing her from having one because she was sick. The thought that this perfect, beautiful woman could be his for only a short time scared the hell out of him. "Honey, you're shaking and I'm worried. You've been wanting to tell me something, and if you have some kind of illness I'll take care of you, whatever it is."

"I'm fine," Jayne said. Still, during the course of the meal, she dabbed at her food, keeping her head down, and what dialogue she had with him seemed forced.

"It's Lauren, isn't it?" Sam said after a while, even though he'd told himself he'd back off. He nudged Jayne's wine glass toward her. "Drink some wine. It'll help you relax."

Jayne gave him a half smile, and said, "You're right." But when she reached for the glass, she accidentally knocked it over, letting out a yelp and sending wine splashing across the table.

Lauren was immediately at the table, cloth in hand, mopping up the mess, but when Jayne stood to get out of her way Lauren looked at her, rag paused in her hand, and said, "Rebecca? I thought maybe it was you. What are you doing here?"

Jayne stared at Lauren, unblinking, and said in a wavering voice, "I... work at Sam's ranch."

Lauren looked steadily at her, as she said, "Then you're doing okay now?"

"Well, yes," Jayne replied. She turned to Sam. "I told you I was fine, but I've had a really bad headache all evening. Do you mind if we leave?"

"Sure, honey," Sam replied, which brought an arched brow from Lauren.

Sam squared away the bill, but while they were driving back to the ranch, he said, "You want to explain all that? How you happen to know Lauren?"

"We worked at the... same restaurant when I was... working on my degree," Jayne replied, in a hesitant voice. "I didn't know her very well."

"She called you Rebecca," Sam said. "Why?"

Jayne shrugged. "I was still Rebecca back then."

"How far back?" Sam asked, having a really bad feeling about this. Six years ago, Lauren was in prison.

"Just a few years," Jayne replied.

"You are aware she killed Jack's son, aren't you?"

"Yes," Jayne said. "Your mother told me all about it."

"Why did she ask if you were doing okay?" Sam asked. For the first time, he was beginning to have serious concerns about Jayne. He'd had a few initial misgivings, and questioned some of the entries on her resume, but it wasn't unusual for people to embellish resumes to make themselves look better.

"I'm not sure why she asked," Jayne said. "Maybe because I was working and going to school and having trouble paying bills. I can't remember. I didn't know her long."

…there is a lot you don't know about me, and I'm not ready to talk about it yet…

Jayne's words kept playing over in his head. And the shaking hands? Not a serious illness, but nerves, maybe because Lauren knew something Jayne didn't want him to know.

"Sam," Jayne said, after they'd driven several miles in silence, "if you have any questions about me just ask. I'll tell you anything you want to know."

Sam felt her eyes on him. Serious. Sincere. Earnest eyes. He didn't have to look into them to know. She was laying it all out for him, and all he had to do was ask.

Tell me about the baby. What happened? Why no relationships in eleven years?

Maybe he was crazy like Brad said, or insane like Jack said, or maybe he was just an ostrich with his head in the sand, but he didn't intend to question her further. He wanted her for his wife, and he'd love her unconditionally. He reached over and covered her clasped hands with his and gave them a squeeze, and said, "No honey, I don't have any questions. If there's anything you want to tell me you can. If not, it's okay. We'll go from here."

"Can we spend a little time at your place when we get back?" Jayne asked.

Sam squeezed her hands, and replied, "We can spend as much time as you want. The whole night. Our time is ours. No kids. No ranch guests. Nothing but you, me, and whatever you want."

She looked up at him, her face sober, and said, "I want to talk. There are things I need to tell you and they're not good, but you need to know them."

Her voice was serious, so Sam knew their relationship could go no further until she shared whatever it was with him, though there was nothing she could tell him that would change the way he felt about her. He also had the ring in his pocket, and before the night was done, the ring would be on her finger where it belonged, and Jayne would be where she belonged. In his bed, in his arms, and in his life. "Like I said, you can tell me anything you want, but that won't change the way I feel."

Jayne sighed, and stared out the side window, and Sam braced himself for what it might be.

They had just pulled up to his house, when Jack came rushing over from the direction of the stable and said, in an anxious voice, "Sasha's foaling and it's another bad presentation, and Roy's been called out on an emergency and can't come till later, and I need help now. Get changed and get on out there." He turned and headed for the stable in long strides.