Living Again (8 page)

“It’s just a precaution, Mrs. Carson. We would never want to send her home without checking everything out.” Kayley nodded.

“Kayley,” she said out loud. He looked at her questioningly. “You can call me Kayley.”

He smiled again, and she noticed what a great smile it was. “Ben. Ben Nichols. I’m a pediatric ER doctor. I’m sorry this happened to your baby today, especially on her birthday, but I’m going to make sure she’s taken care of and gets to go home very soon. We’ll be moving her up shortly. You can stay here with her so she feels more comfortable. Seems that she’s really coming around now.”

He left the room and Emily rushed to the bedside, cooing over Alexis. “Kayley, wow. I cannot believe this happened today. I’m so glad she’s okay.”

“Cate saved her,” Kayley said, looking at her best friend’s watery green eyes. “She’s her savior.”

Emily smiled but shook her head. “We were right there, Kay. We would’ve gotten to her right away. So he didn’t say what he thought happened?”

“No,” Kayley answered. “They are running tests and want to admit her for observation. Didn’t you hear what he said? You were standing at the door.”

Emily looked at her best friend with mischief in her eyes. “Um, no I didn’t hear a word he said because the second he walked past me I had no brain cells left. Did you
see
that man? Woooeeee! He’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen! Then once he turned to you and smiled, I thought I might need a doctor next. Does pediatric mean he will also work on 20-somethings?”

Kayley outright laughed, causing Alexis to smile at both of them. Kayley scooped her up, careful not to disturb her wires, and turned back to Emily. “Are you kidding me? He’s my kid’s doctor and I just got the scare of my life! I barely registered him at all.”

Emily put her hand up to Kayley’s face and waved it in front of her. “Yep, you can see, so I know that you can’t be blind enough to say you didn’t notice how delicious he was? What was his name? Ben Nichols? He makes a pair of scrubs and a white jacket look damn good.”

Kayley shook her head at Emily. “You’re terrible, Emily! Down girl! You’re a happily married woman.”

“Don’t I know it,” Emily sighed, fanning herself. “But I know a fine specimen when I see one! And a doctor too!” She waggled her eyebrows. “He could play doctor
very
well…” All of a sudden, Kayley understood where Emily was going with this.

“No, Emily,” Kayley warned, kissing Alexis’ soft head. She squirmed in her mom’s arms, acting much like herself again. “Don’t go there. I have a baby. And it’s only been a little over a year. I’m definitely not ready now, nor do I think I ever will be.”

Emily hugged her friend, enclosing Kayley and Alexis in a tight hug. “You scared us, little girl,” she murmured, kissing Lexi. “Don’t ever do that again.” Alexis grinned her big four tooth grin and kissed Emily on the nose.

“Mimi,” she babbled, her name for Emily. Emily gave her an Eskimo kiss and stood up.

“I’m going to get Cate from Trevor. Now that Alexis is okay, she’ll want to see her. Poor little thing was so freaked out.” Emily headed for the door, then turned around.

“Kayley? Don’t give up on being happy someday, okay? Alexis does need a daddy.”

Kayley looked at her best friend, knowing she meant well but her daydream about Alex’s last day on this earth was still raw in her mind. She breathed deeply, trying not to snap. “Emily,” her voice warned.

Emily laughed and put her hands in the air in mock surrender. “Okay, okay! I’m shutting up.”

Kayley held Alexis’ sleeping body, looking around the small PICU hospital room. A large crib took up most of the room, which is where Alexis should be but neither Kayley nor Alexis could stand it. Alexis wanted her mom and Kayley couldn’t bear to put her down after the scare they had received. It had been two days since her first birthday, the second day in Kayley’s life when she had been utterly terrified.

The doctors were observing Alexis to make sure she had no after effects of the seizure that she had. They believed it to be an innocent febrile seizure from a cold she was fighting at the time. They told Kayley it was rather common for kids to have them, but the concern they had was her lack of response for almost an hour to any outside stimulation. They had done EEGs, blood tests, body scans, and she had been seen by every specialist they could think of to try to figure out why she was so unresponsive after her seizure was over. To this point, they had no real answers but had been watching her for 48 hours to make sure she had no further incidents. For all intents and purposes, Alexis was back to normal with the exception of not wanting to leave her mother’s arms. She was always “on the go” and Kayley was enjoying the snuggle time with her, even if it did worry her.

“Knock knock,” Kayley’s mother was at the door, carrying a stuffed dog. Kayley put her finger to her lips to indicate she was asleep and her mom came in quietly, putting the stuffed dog in the crib and walking towards Kayley.

“How’s our princess?” she whispered, stroking Alexis’ curly hair. Kayley smiled, knowing that she finally understood how much her mom loved her since she became a mom to Alexis.

“She’s good. She’s become my little appendage, but that’s okay with me.” Alexis stirred at their voices and Kayley rubbed her back to get her back to sleep.

“Are you guys getting out of here today?” her mom asked. Kayley shrugged.

“We’re supposed to be if she doesn’t have any problems, but I haven’t seen the doctor yet today. He should be making rounds soon.”

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. “Must be the doctor now.” The door swung open and in the doorway stood Dr. Ben Nichols, the pediatric ER doctor from when they were first admitted. Kayley almost giggled out loud to think about Emily missing seeing her favorite eye candy. Looking at him, Kayley had to admit that he was good looking. He had sandy blonde hair with curled ends that touched his ears, large blue eyes, and eyelashes that most women would kill for. He looked like he spent his spare time (did doctors have spare time?) out in the Florida sun and at the gym. Scrubs and a doctor jacket couldn’t hide muscles like that. He was a lot taller than Kayley’s 5’4” frame. He caught her eye and smiled, and she found herself smiling back. Of course he had perfect, straight white teeth. Did he have a dentist as a wife? With a mind of their own, her eyes wandered to his left hand and noticed no ring there.
Damn you, Emily
, she mentally chastised her best friend.
Now you’ve got me looking at whether he’s married or not
.

He cleared his throat, and Kayley realized she had been staring. Her eyes snapped up to his face and she laughed. “Sorry,” she said. “Dr. Nichols, right? What’s going on? Is there something that we need to know? About Alexis?”

He crouched down next to Alexis and put his hand on her back, watching her breathe. This close up, Kayley could see flecks of gold in his blue eyes. He lifted his eyes to hers and Kayley felt the air suck out of her lungs at the proximity of him. She could almost see clear through his eyes. Her eyes scanned his beautiful cheekbones, full lips, and chiseled jawline. Butterflies tickled her stomach, and the feeling was foreign.

“I thought we established first names. Ben, remember?” His voice was throaty and sexy and his face was so close, she could feel his breath tickling her cheek. “I brought this for Alexis.” He took out of his coat pocket a stuffed monkey wearing a pink tutu and tiara. Kayley laughed quietly, knowing Alexis would get a kick out of it.

“Thank you, she’ll love it,” she breathed, tucking the monkey under Alexis’ arm.

Kayley’s mom coughed, making her remember she was still there. “I’m going to go get some coffee. Want anything?” Ben’s gaze bored into hers and she glanced quickly at her mom, then back at him. He was still looking intently at her, and her pulse spiked.

“No thanks, Mom. I’m good.” She barely registered her mom leaving the room with Ben in such close proximity to her, and she sucked in a deep breath, trying to focus on Alexis’ sleeping form instead of his amazing eyes.

Kayley laughed nervously, afraid to look back at him because she felt like she was acting foolish. “Ben. Is all okay with Alexis?”

He lifted his hand from Alexis’ back and stood up. She looked back up at him and he pinned her with an intense gaze. It was much easier to breathe when he stood up. “Yes, she seems great. I reviewed her chart and it doesn’t seem that they have found any lasting damage from the seizure or any reason to keep her. You’re going to be released today.”

Kayley grinned, squeezing Alexis tightly at the news. “Thank you, Ben. That’s great news. But- I’m confused. Why isn’t Alexis’ doctor here? Why did they send you?”

Ben turned his eyes to hers again, and she felt that same electricity from before, from her head to her toes.
I need to get a grip¸
she thought.
He’s my kid’s doctor, and I’m only looking at him like that because Emily put it in my head!
He spoke lowly when he said, “I told him that he was much too busy today and I’d take care of you and Alexis. He looked at me much like you’re looking at me right now, but I had to see you again. I’ve been keeping track of Alexis’ chart since you left the ER and knew if I didn’t come today, I would miss seeing you.”

Did he just say that?
Kayley thought to herself.
Did he just say he wanted to see me again, or am I not hearing him correctly? He’s a doctor, what would he want with me? I have a baby! He must have lines of women throwing themselves at him.

Noting her obvious shock at his statement, Ben moved closer to her. “Kayley? I’m sorry. I know this is greatly inappropriate, being one of your daughter’s doctors, but I have to know, are you married? I mean, I didn’t see anyone with you except your friend in the ER, and there isn’t anyone with you now but your mom, so I just wondered…” He trailed off nervously, his eyes moving to her left hand.

Kayley looked down where her ring used to be, the ring that she thought she was going to wear for the rest of her life. “I-”she began, and at that moment, she didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t deny that Ben was attractive, and she felt electricity between them that she hadn’t felt in a long time, but she was in no way ready to have a man look at her like that again.

“Ben,” she began, looking back up at him with watery eyes. Concern etched on his face as he watched her and waited for her answer. He started to speak but she held up her hand, so he stopped. “You need to understand something about me. I’m damaged. I’ve been totally annihilated this past year by what has happened to me. I was married, to the love of my life. He died a month before I gave birth to Alexis in a horrible car accident. I don’t know if I can ever be in a relationship again. It’s just me and Alexis now. I have to make her my priority.”

Ben’s eyes changed from worry to sympathy. She hated that look. “Kayley,” he started, “I’m so sorry. I don’t usually do things like this, but when I saw you, I just felt this connection I can’t explain. You barely even looked at me, which was actually nice,” he paused, laughing a little to himself. “Since that second, I can’t stop thinking about you. I don’t know anything about you except your name and that you have a precious little girl that you love more than life, but I want to get to know you.”

He crouched next to her again as Alexis woke up, lifting her big eyes to Ben and then to Kayley.

“Hey, sweet girl,” Kayley crooned. Alexis noticed the monkey in her arms and squealed in delight. Ben smiled at her reaction to his gift, and he met Kayley’s eyes again. “Ben,” Kayley started again. “Thank you. For helping save Alexis’ life, for her little stuffed monkey, for your kind words. I just can’t do it right now, if ever again. I’m sorry.” With that, Kayley stood up and laid Alexis in the crib to change her diaper, purposely avoiding looking at him again because her heart was screaming at her mind that she was stupid. She knew if she looked at him again and felt that buzz of electricity shoot up her spine, she would take it all back.

Ben put his hands on her shoulders, immediately causing a spark to travel throughout her body. It was all she could do not to gasp out loud at the visceral reaction her body was having. “I understand, Kayley. I’m very sorry for your loss. I just knew I had to come and talk to you before you walked out of this hospital and I never saw you again.”

Kayley’s eyes brimmed with tears once again, but for a different reason. She found herself saying, “In Loving Hands Therapy Center.” She wanted to rewind the words out of her mouth once they came out.

“What?” Ben asked from behind her. She still couldn’t turn to face him, but she repeated what she said, not sure what in the world she was doing.

“I’m a physical therapist at In Loving Hands Therapy Center. You could find me there.”