Live Today (Live Today #1) (16 page)

“No. Stop. Look, we have a few more hours to get there and I will talk to her on the way there okay? I’m not saying yes and I’m not saying no. I’m just saying I will think about it.” I smile up at him. He looks over to the guys then back to me.

“I can handle that.” He takes me in for a huge bear hug then releases me and looks over to Gabe. “So, I take it you two are driving solo again?”

Gabe grins and nods. “I think so.”

“Just keep your head above the seat and I won’t kill you.” He gets a nice slap from me before laughing.

“I was just sleeping. I swear.” Gabe says laughing pulling me into his side as we walk over to my car. He opens the passenger door and guides me in before walking around to the driver’s side. “Think he will be ok with us?” he asks.

“I think he needs to get used to the idea.” I say as I lean in to give him a swift kiss. “To be honest Gabe, I think I need to get used to the idea as well.”

“Yeah, you kind of had me there for a minute angel. I wasn’t sure if your texts were some sick joke.” He takes my hand and brings it to his lips. “But I couldn’t be happier.”

I smile up at him and rest my head on his shoulder as we follow the SUV. “I’m happy too Gabe.”

We are about an hour away from where Gabe grew up. He seems a bit tense. I try to reassure him that everything will be alright. He tells me he is fine, but he also knows that I know he hasn’t been completely honest with me. We rode in silence for about thirty minutes since I’ve woken up from a nap. I fell asleep resting on his shoulder, and he adjusted me so I was resting on his lap. I vaguely remember Brennan on the walkie saying he was going to be watching for sudden movements. Gabe simply chuckled and told him to think better of his sister.

“How much longer?” I ask as I play with his fingers in my hand.

“A little less than an hour. Why?” he asks bringing my hand up to his mouth again for the umpteenth time for a gentle kiss. I smile every time he does this. It’s nice to be able to show affection without getting reprimanded.

“I was just wondering how much longer I would need to make a decision is all.” I begin to look out the window. I don’t want him to see the fear on my face.

“Look at me.” Gabe demands. I pretend to ignore him. He releases my hand, and takes my chin and forces me to look his way. “I don’t know what more to say other than I’m sorry angel. I wasn’t thinking about Will at all. I honestly forgot the last time we were on stage. If I was only thinking, I wouldn’t have told Ashley yes.”

“No Gabe. Don’t take blame. It’s not your fault. I’ve been thinking about it, and maybe you guys are right. Maybe it’s time to get back on stage.” I decide to be honest and let go of my feelings. “Do you realize? The last time I was on stage was a month before the accident and Drew was actually there to watch us?” He looks in my direction quickly. And I can see that he is struggling to smile. “Babe, it’s really ok.”

“Okay angel.” He says softly. “Come here.” I lean into him and he gives me a swift kiss.

“So, what does Ashley and Emily have to say about us?” I ask.

“I haven’t told them.” He kisses the top of my head. “I figured we could surprise them.”

“Do you think Brennan’s putting up a front?”

“He’s your brother angel.” He laughs. “What do you think?”

I think for a little while before answering. “I’m not sure. Will told me before… before he left us. He told me that he wanted me to love hard.” I squeeze his hand. “He told me I knew deep down who I loved. He also told me that he wanted me to move on without him. He said to think with my heart and not my head.” I smile. “I know that’s still something I need to work on. I guess we need to let Brennan have some time to process all of this too.”

“Yeah, this is new to all of us. I still think I‘m in shock. I’m afraid this is some sick nightmare and I will wake up and none of this would have ever happened.”

I continue to play with his fingers as we drive in silence. I know exactly how he feels. The words Will said continues to run through my mind. I do need to learn to think with my heart. This will be a personal challenge for me. I have always relied on my head to make my decisions. I really don’t know how to use my heart. It’s been closed off for years.

Brennan holds a special place inside the locked doors of my heart, as does Will. I keep Matt and Drew close to me. But Gabe, he is a different story. The moment I looked up from the kitchen table all those years ago, I knew he had the key. But it was my head that has always been the gate keeper. And now it’s time for me to let go and let what is be.

The closer we get to his parent’s house, the more anxious Gabe gets. He points over to landmarks he remembered and he gives me a small story about what events had taken place. It always warms my heart listening to Gabe tell me about his past. He usually doesn’t share much detail about it, so I am taking full advantage of it now. I smile and nod as he tells me bits and pieces. Sometimes I would interrupt him when he gets carried away to clarify or to simply make fun of him and how silly he says he would act. The more I listen to him, the more I can see where he gets his funny side from. Gabe is a dare devil. From his stories, he always loves to make people laugh and smile.

He gets extremely quiet when we begin approaching his home town. We’ve been able to see it get closer and closer for about fifteen minutes. My stomach feels like it’s got a huge knot in it with nerves for Gabe. He hasn’t seen his family in such a long time, even though I know they wouldn’t, I worry they will reject him.

I for one know that when I have children, if I have children, I will support them in whatever they decide to do. Because that’s what parents are supposed to do. They are supposed to love, nurture and support their children.

He pulls into a beautiful neighborhood. Each house sits on at least one acre of land. My anxiety level rises as he drives slowly past the tree lined street.

“Gabe, this is beautiful” I say with amazement.

“Yeah? I guess I’m just use to it.” He says as he makes a left turn on the last house on the street.

“It’s just. Wow.” I exclaim. I can hear him let out a small laugh as he pulls further up in the drive.

Gabe stops a few feet from the garage and puts it in park. He doesn’t say anything. He simply stares straight ahead.

“Gabe?” I ask. Nothing. I notice Brennan, Drew and Matt all have gotten out of the SUV and are standing at the back of it stretching and waiting for us. “Gabe.” I say a little more forceful. He still sits there like a statue. I undo my seatbelt, and climb over the center console and straddle him and take his face in my hands forcing him to make eye contact with me. Once he is looking straight into my eyes I begin. “Gabriel Gonzales. You have nothing to be worried about. No matter what, I will be here with you. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care if they accept us or not. Brennan, Matt, Drew and you are all I care about. You are my family. And we are yours. No matter what, you will always have us.”

His face is pale but at least his hands have finally made their way on my hips. His eyes search mine for reassurance that everything will be okay. After a few blinks, he moves his hands to grab my face and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. We remain in each other’s arms until we are left breathless.

“You promise me you won’t go anywhere?” he asks resting his forehead on mine.

“I promise you. I will not leave your side.” I begin to laugh as I repeat his words back to him. “I couldn’t even if I tried.” He smiles back at me before pecking my lips one more time.

“That’s my line.” He says before taking a deep breath and opening the door. He helps me climb out before he gets out and takes my hand. “Well, let’s get this over with, I guess.” He says.

I smile up at him, as he guides me and the boys up the sidewalk and stops just before the front door. I gently squeeze his hand. He looks down at me and I smile. He takes one more deep breath before reaching his free hand up to the doorbell and rings it.

Gabe and I stand hand in hand at the front door of his family’s house. Brennan, Drew and Matt all stand behind us. I lightly squeeze Gabe’s hand as we wait for a response. I’m sure he would be able to open the door and simply walk in, but I want to support him in whatever choice he makes. He looks over at me and takes a deep breath as if he was holding it in. Leaning into him, I try to ease his tension and give him a small smile and wink. He slowly gives me a soft smile as we hear footsteps approaching the other side of the door. He stiffens in anticipation.

Suddenly, two honey brown eyes peek through the etched glass of the front door. Two eyes letting me know that without a shadow of a doubt, those eyes belong to Gabe’s sister. A sharp squeal is made before the door is swung open and a set of arms are surrounding Gabe. I take a step back and try to let go of his hand, but he squeezes it harder as his other hand wraps around this young lady. She has Gabe’s brown eyes and his small but plump lips. Her skin tone is a little darker, and I can assume it’s because she spends a lot of time outside. Her long, shiny black hair is pulled into a ponytail. From the pictures I’ve seen through texts, I have no doubt in my mind this is Emily.

“Talk about a welcome home.” I hear Brennan say. I finally let go of Gabe’s hand. He immediately wraps it around Emily and pulls her into a big bear hug. As I take a step back, Brennan places his hands on my shoulders and pulls me into him then wraps his arms around me. Instinctively, I bring my hands up and rest them on his arm as I lean into his chest. So much love is felt around us. It’s a sight to see.

Gabe gently sets her down and turns to me. His smile is priceless. He stands behind her and rest his hands on her shoulders. “Emily, this is my family. My other family that is.” He says as he smiles at us all. He reaches over her shoulder with a finger and points from left to right. “That’s Matt, and that’s Drew.” They both offer their hand and smile politely. She is gleaming as she says hi to them. Gabe rests his chin on her shoulder as he turns her slightly to us. “Emily, I want you to meet two of the most important people in my life. That’s Brennan my brother.”

Brennan squeezes me a little tighter as we both hear Gabe’s sentiment towards him. “It’s very nice to meet you.” Brennan says softly with a smile I know he is showing without even looking back at him.

“And this beautiful angel here is my girl, Jenna.” Gabe says with pride in his voice. Emily takes a step forward, takes my hands and pulls me into a hug. I know I have a face of shock as I look over her shoulder to Gabe, who simply shrugs and laughs. He knows I usually keep a distance when it comes to affection.

“I am so happy to finally meet you.” She exclaims. “Wait.” She pulls away from me and looks into my eyes, then turns to Gabe. “Did I hear you right?” She looks back at me. “He said ‘my girl’, didn’t he?” She asks me. I begin to giggle and nod. Gabe takes my hand and pulls me into his side and holds me close to him as he kisses the top of my head.

“Sure did Ems, my girl.” He says proudly.

“But you didn’t tell us.” She looks confused. “Just last night when you called, you sounded so confused and you told us that you were done trying.” Brennan huffs, Matt and Drew laugh and I raise an eyebrow and look up at Gabe.

He looks down at me, smiles and said to her. “She had a change of heart.” As I hold him tighter in my arms, he kisses the top of my head again and squeezes me in return as she begins jumping and clapping making myself and the guys laugh.

“I can’t wait to tell Ashley and Momma about the good news.” She says hugging us both before inviting us in. “Well, c’mon guys, I’m sure you want something to eat and drink. Momma’s in the kitchen fixing supper already.” I smile at her as my eyes wonder to Brennan. He looks at me and takes in my expression. We both find this kind of hospitality both amusing and saddening simply because we weren’t raised this way. We both had to fend for ourselves when it came to “suppers”.

His parents’ house is completely filled in a country motif. There are eucalyptus covered flower arrangements everywhere with country style pictures and other items. It literally looks like we stepped into a craft store. We walk past the living room into the kitchen where a beautifully tanned woman stands behind the island. She has jet black hair with natural grey highlights that literally looks like she paid for them. Her head is down as we enter the fairly large kitchen. Once she hears us shuffle in, she looks up. Her hazel eyes survey the strangers in the kitchen until they rest on her only son.

“Hey, Momma.” Gabe says softly as she drops her knife she was using to chop a pepper and bring her hands to her mouth and gasps. I try to release his hand once again as she begins to walk around the island. He looks down at me with a tear in his eye. I rub his arm with my free hand and nod to his mom, gesturing it will be ok. He smiles at me before releasing me and engulfing his mom. Tears form in my own eyes as I take in the sight. Brennan and Matty bring me back into a supporting hug as I realize, we have kept Gabe from his family for entirely too long.

“Oh Gabriel, look at you baby.” She says with a shaky voice as she pulls away from him and gives him a look over. “At least they are feeding you.” She says. I begin to giggle and her eyes look over him and onto me. My giggling immediately stops and I hold my breath. “Is this her?” she asks Gabe.

Gabriel keeps her hand in his as he reaches his hand out to me. I release the breath I was holding and first look over to Brennan who smiles at me in approval and nods. Then I reach my hand out to Gabe’s. “Yeah Momma, this is her. This is my Jenna.” He says softly. I try to keep my tears at bay as I hear him call me his. She reaches her hands out to me, stretches them to the sides and surveys me. Suddenly I feel completely naked on a chopping block. My eyes drift up to Gabe in confusion as I am being judged by his mother. He winks at me before continuing. “Jems, this is my mom, Maria.” I smile at her and before I can say a word she pulls me into a hug.

“Nonsense Gabriel,” I absolutely love how she uses his whole name. She takes my face in her hands and looks straight into my eyes. “You can call me anything you want sweetheart. Maria, Momma, anything.” She glances over to Drew, Matt and Brennan. “All of you can call me whatever. But by all means, please don’t call me Mrs. Gonzales. We aren’t in Church.” The guys try to hide a chuckle as Gabe laughs and pulls me into him. She steps around us and immediately says. “So, which one of you is the one who gives my Gabriel a hard time? And which one of you is the one who feeds him?”

Drew immediately steps back as he knows he’s not going to get praised or yelled at. Matt on the other hand knows his place and holds his hand out with a welcoming smile. “I’m Matt. I have been the one feeding Gabe. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He says. She takes his hand and pulls him into a hug. He smiles at Gabe and I just before she lets him go.

“So, you must be the brother.” She asks Drew. Gabe and I begin to laugh when his eyes widen. He starts shaking his head vigorously. “No ma’am, I’m Drew, just the friend.” He points over to Brennan. “That’s the brother.” He says laughing at Brennan who is glaring at Drew now.

“Um, yes ma’am. I am Brennan, the brother.” He says with a shaky voice. You would think he was meeting his in-laws for the time ever just now. Maria crosses her arms at him and begins to tap her foot. My hand immediately covers my mouth to hide my laughter but instead, Gabe pulls me into his chest and he buries his face into the crook of my neck to suppress his own laughter.

“Come here boy.” She tells him. He hesitantly takes a step towards her and she immediately draws him into a hug. “Thank you, son.” She says softly. “Thank you for taking him under your wing and keeping him safe and healthy for his father and me.” Brennan’s eyes soften as he returns the hug and my laughter turns into tears of joy. Brennan has been Gabe’s big brother as well as mine. He is like the father to us all. Gabe kisses the top of my head just before I look up into his glossy eyes. It makes me wonder what exactly he has told his family about us. He mouths to me “What?” I simply shake my head at him and reach up to give him a swift kiss, wanting to make sure I keep it a peck since I am not sure what his mom would say to us.

“You must be tired and hungry. Gabriel will show you around and Emily and I will make you some snacks. We have a meeting tonight for the fair plans, then supper will be immediately after.” I smile at her as she rambles. I think it’s a nervous trait of theirs since I notice Gabe rambling at times as well which makes me smile. Matt steps in and offers to help her with the snacks since he loves being in the kitchen. Gabe shakes his head as he takes my hand and begins walking back into the living room with Brennan and Drew in tow.

“So this is the living room and you’ve already seen the kitchen.” He says.

“Well, thank you Captain Obvious.” Brennan says. Gabe and I both turn and give him a sour look. He chuckles and pat’s Gabe on the back. “No worries man. Just relax a bit. ‘Brother’” he says gleaming at Gabe.

Gabe takes a deep breath and continues. “Yeah, whatever Bren, let’s go.”

We make our way upstairs and enter a long hallway. He points to the right where the first door is open. “This is Ashley’s room. She’s the oldest, so she gets the largest of the three kids’ rooms.” I glance in her room quickly, more intrigued with the photos in the hallway. Gabe notices my fascination and pulls me down the hall more. Across the room from hers is another room. “My parent’s room, there’s a master bath off to the left.” The room is absolutely stunning. The house is mainly a country motif but the master bedroom is as if you’ve stepped into a Victorian home. The colors of burgundy and hunter green accented with a brushed gold are displayed throughout the entire room.

I take an involuntary step in to get a deeper look when suddenly a set of arms are wrapped around my waist and a chin rests on my shoulder. Gabe silently whispers in my ear. “Beautiful isn’t it?” I lean back against him as all I can do is nod. “I’ve dreamt about giving you a house like this. I know how much you love this style.” He says softy kissing my cheek. “I watch your eyes light up when we see something that reminds you of this style.”

“I like a lot of styles Gabriel.” I whisper to him in my defense.

“Not like you do this.” He says chuckling. Damn, he knows me so well. “C’mon, let’s go.” He pulls at my belt loop towards the door. We walk down the hall a little further and he show’s me Emily’s room. It’s your typical teenage bedroom with rock star posters displayed all over the walls. I peek my head in looking for our one poster we made about a year ago when Will thought it would be wise to sell some at an event or two during the summer. “Looking for us?” Gabe asks.

“Of course.” I respond still scanning the room for a Live Today poster.

“Turn around.” Gabe says. I turn as he begins to close the door. And there we are. The only poster that is framed is the one of us. I smile as I inspect it. “Think we should autograph it for her?”

“I think that would be a great idea.” I say then frown when I notice Will is missing from the group now. “But maybe we shouldn’t.” I finish with a sigh. Gabe looks to where my eyes have drifted to and he pulls me into a hug.

“I miss him too angel. More than you know.” He says kissing the top of my head. I let a single tear escape my eye as I close them tightly. He takes my hand and pulls me out of that room down past the larger than normal bathroom then to his room that rests at the end of the hallway. Drew and Brennan are already in the room. I only just realized that they weren’t with us in the other rooms. That’s probably a good thing. I don’t really want Brennan or Drew for that matter worried about me.

Gabe’s room is as if it hasn’t been touched in years. I mean, I know it literally hasn’t but it’s nothing like his room at home. At home, it’s more of a mature style bedroom as this room is set up for a much younger person. He has a few rock posters on his walls, a few of his favorite teams. On his mirror there are pictures of different people tucked into the corners where the frame and glass meet. I take a step towards it to get a better look. He has his sisters and him on the center most top one. A few ticket stubs from his favorite movies and bands tucked around the edges as well. There is a photo of his entire family; they are all making a goofy face in that one making me smile. Now I know where he gets his personality from, all of them. He has some of what I’m assuming of his highs school friends. He mentioned them a few times when we first met, but the more time he spent with us, the less time he spoke about his past.

Surrounding those pictures are other pictures of him and a girl. She has long brown hair and I can tell in one of the photos, she is as tall as he is. Her green eyes stand out over her olive skin. I must say, she is very beautiful. My heart clenches a bit when I actually see him so affectionate with someone else. He looks happy in most of the pictures, but of course, he usually is a happy guy. She is smiling in most pictures, but looks irritated in some. A look of confusion crosses my face when Drew stands next to me and whispers, “That’s his past Jenna. You’re his future.”

His comment breaks my train of thought and I look up into his eyes. “I’m sorry? I wasn’t really thinking anything to be honest Drew.” I reply with a little sarcasm in my voice. He raises an eyebrow at me when I continue, “Gabe, who is this?” I return Drew’s look back to him as I wait for an answer.

“Um, those are some of my high school buddies.” He says, I instinctively turn my head to meet his eyes letting him know that his “buddies” are not what I was meaning. He sighs heavily as answers. “She is an old friend.” I tilt my head as I rest my hands on my hips. “Her name is Carmen. We dated for a few years before I left.” He says grimly. Immediately, my mind wanders as my eyes drift up to Drew then back to the mirror. I can see Gabe’s face in the reflection as I take a look at Carmen once more. Is she another reason he was so edgy about coming home?