Live Through This (24 page)

“But what if he does? You shouldn’t have to worry all the time. You shouldn’t have to keep this secret. And what about Emma?”

I shake my head. “He was shocked when I mentioned her. I don’t think he’ll do anything.”

“You don’t know that, though,” she says. “You have to tell your parents what’s been going on.”

“I can’t.”

She squeezes my hand. “Coley, you need help. And Bryan needs help.”

“It’ll ruin everything, though. Can you imagine what this will do to my mom after what she’s been through? It’ll destroy her.”

“She needs to know. It’s destroying you—”

“Coley?” A familiar voice shouts from downstairs. “It’s Reece! Are you here?”

“I can tell him you aren’t ready to talk,” Alejandra says in a whisper. “Unless you think you are?”

“I think I need to,” I say.

“Okay.” She runs her fingers through the front of my hair, tucks it behind my ears, and then gets up off the floor. I listen to Reece’s shoes making their way up the lower staircase.

“Coley?” he calls out again.

Alejandra heads down, out of my view. “She’s up here!”

A few seconds later, Reece comes to the top of the stairs, and we stare at each other from across the room. His stance is guarded, and so is his expression. I don’t know how to fix this, or if it can be fixed. There’s too much to say. Too much that I don’t know how to say.

For over half of my life, I’ve been pretending that my brother doesn’t really do the things he does to me. Reece keeps trying to put the pieces back together without having any idea what’s causing me to break.

I push myself to stand. He meets me in the middle of the room, folds me into a quick hug, and then takes a couple of steps back. I want to cling to him, but I know that it wouldn’t be fair after everything that’s happened.

“How’d you know where to find me?” I ask.

“Ming forwarded me a picture. It looked like it could have
been taken here.” He hands over my bag. “After you left, I tried calling you a few times. Later I realized that your phone was buzzing right behind my seat. You should probably check it. It’s been going off all night.”

“Thank you,” I say softly.

He nods.

I dig the phone out and scan my notifications: seven new texts from Ming, three from Reece, two from Noah, one each from Tony and Piper, as well as several missed calls from Reece and my mom. Nothing from my brother.

I tuck my phone back inside and let my bag drop onto the floor.

“Are you okay?” Reece asks, taking a step closer.

I look up at him. “No. And I’m sorry for that because you don’t deserve this craziness.”

“Noah talked to me after you’d gone home. He kept saying you were drunk. But that wasn’t really it, was it?”

I shake my head and my eyes get watery again. “I have some things to figure out. I never should have dragged you into my screwed-up life. I’m so sorry. For everything.”

“Coley, you didn’t drag me anywhere.” He brushes a tear from my cheek. “I’m here because I want to be.”

Last night I pushed Bryan and slapped his face. I told
him to leave me alone. I ran away and didn’t come back. But before any of that happened, I did all of those same things to Reece. Unlike Bryan, Reece sent texts and tried to call. Unlike Bryan, Reece came looking for me. Unlike Bryan, Reece didn’t deserve any of it.

I throw myself at him and put my face against his chest. He holds me close. Maybe someday I’ll be able to explain this to him. Part of it? All of it? I don’t know. I don’t know anything except that I’m so glad he’s here.

CHAPTER 28

A
fter I’ve had Reece go home for some much-needed sleep, sent a couple of quick apology texts to my friends, and washed my face at Alejandra’s, she drives me home. She already called my mom for me, to let her know we’re on our way.

As we pull into the driveway beside Bryan’s car, my whole body tenses. He’s inside the house now, and soon I will be too. And then what will happen? It isn’t like we can “go back to normal.” That’s something we’ve never been.

“I’ll come in with you, if you want,” Alejandra says, putting her car in park.

I know she thinks that me telling the truth is the only thing that will truly end this, but I’m not sure I have the strength.

“It’s Saturday,” I say. “You have to get to practice.”

“I’m not worried about that right now. If you need me, I’ll stay.”

I shake my head. “I’ll be all right.”

“If you’re sure. I told your mom that she should let you talk first instead of yelling. Who knows, maybe she’ll listen?” Alejandra reaches across the seat and we hug. Yesterday, at this time, neither of us could have guessed that this would be happening. But here we are.

“Thanks for finding me,” I say, opening my door.

She gives me a little smile. “It wasn’t hard. That’s where I would have gone. Call me later?”

“I will,” I say.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

I wave as she drives away, and stand on the sidewalk staring first at Bryan’s car, and then at the house.

When I get inside, Mom and Tony are going to have questions for me:
Where have you been? Why did you run off like that? What is going
on
with you?

I have lots of answers prepared in my head; I just don’t know which ones I want to say to them.

The front door opens and Jacob yells over his shoulder, “Coley’s home!”

Not much time to decide now.

Within seconds, Mom comes rushing down the steps in her bathrobe and slippers. I can barely feel my legs, but I think they’re taking me toward her.

We move closer and closer to each other, and my heart beats faster and faster.

I have options here. I can lie about why I left last night. I can keep pretending that nothing’s happening. I can turn and run away forever.

But for the first time in my life, none of these choices feel like the right one.

I’m ready to let her know the truth.

Finally ready.

I look into her worried eyes, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “Mom,” I say. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

RESOURCES FOR HELP

RAINN

(Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
www.rainn.com

Pandora’s Project

Support and resources for survivors of rape and sexual abuse
www.pandys.org

MINDI SCOTT is the author of
Live Through This
and
Freefall.
She lives near Seattle, Washington, with her drummer husband. Please visit her online at
mindiscott.com
.

Also by Mindi Scott

Freefall

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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

SIMON PULSE

An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division

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www.SimonandSchuster.com

First Simon Pulse edition October 2012

Copyright © 2012 by Mindi Scott

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. SIMON PULSE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

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Designed by Hilary Zarycky

Jacket designed by Jessica Handelman

Jacket photograph copyright © 2012 by Michael Frost (girl) and Marta Bevacqua (environment)

Author photograph by Brittney Bush Bollay

The text of this book was set in Fairfield.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Scott, Mindi.

Live through this / Mindi Scott.

p. cm.

Summary: From the outside, fifteen-year-old Coley Sterling’s life seems imperfect but normal, but for years she has buried her shame and guilt over a relationship that crossed the line, and now that she has a chance at having a real boyfriend, Reece, the lies begin to unravel.

[1. Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. 2. Secrets—Fiction. 3. Sexual abuse—Fiction. 4. Incest—Fiction. 5. Stepfamilies—Fiction. 6. Family life—Washington (State)—Fiction.] I. Title.

PZ7.S42738Liv 2012 [Fic]—dc23 2012006006

ISBN 978-1-4424-4059-3 (hc)

ISBN 978-1-4424-4060-9 (pbk)

ISBN 978-1-4424-4061-6 (eBook)