Live Through This (16 page)

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At the food court, Ming and I find an empty table for four and sit across from each other. “When’s Reece coming back from Portland?” she asks.

“Not until Sunday night. Just in time to go back to school on Monday.”

She chews her fingernail. “You won’t tell him all that stuff I told you, right?”

“About you and Xander? Of course not.”

“And . . . you won’t tell Xander?”

I burst out laughing at that. “I can’t imagine any circumstance ever that would get your boyfriend and me talking about
that
.”

“But if it came up somehow, you’d keep quiet? I don’t want to embarrass him.”

“My lips are sealed forever and ever. I promise.”

“Promise what?” Xander asks.

“Oh!” Ming yelps. “You’re here!”

“I thought you were expecting me?” he says, smiling down at her. “Or did someone else send me that text?”

Brody takes the seat next to me and immediately pulls out his phone, while Ming grabs Xander’s hand and has him sit beside her. She bulges her eyes at me as if to ask if I think they heard anything. I don’t think so, but I keep my expression blank so that it won’t be obvious that we’re attempting to have a telepathic conversation.

“What?” Xander asks. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” Ming smiles at him.

“You’re both looking at me weird.” He rubs the end of his nose. “Don’t tell me I have a booger hanging out.”

“You don’t.” Ming leans in and gives him a quick kiss. Then she looks at me again. “Hey, Coley!” she says in an overly chipper voice that’s sure to keep Xander suspicious. “Are you going to Brody’s party on Friday after the basketball game?”

“I hadn’t heard about it,” I say.

“That’s because I’m not having a party,” Brody says, without looking up from his phone.

“Dude, seriously,” Xander says.

“I’m
not
.”

“Okay, fine,” Xander says. “But one of your sisters is having a party at the house where you also happen to live. It’s pretty much the same thing.”

“You should see if you can spend the night with me that night,” Ming says to me. “And then we’ll all go to the kegger that Brody
isn’t
having.”

I’ve never been to a “kegger.” I’ve actually never been to any party that didn’t involve movies, ice cream, and sleeping bags on my teammates’ floors, but I say, “I’ll ask.”

“Hey, Brode,” Xander says, “I figured out a way to get Taku and Seth and Rosetta to come. We could do something with the band that night. Play a little show downstairs maybe?”

“No way,” Brody says, setting his phone on the table. “I don’t want people in my studio.”

“You have a studio?” I ask.

Brody nods.

“That’s where we practice every day and where I keep my drums,” Xander says.

“I want to play your drums!” Ming says.

Xander looks at Brody. “Can I at least take Ming and Coley down that night, so they can check it out?”

“And Coley’s boyfriend,” Ming says.

“Fine,” Brody says. “Ming, Coley, and Noah. No one else. I’m serious, Xander.”

“Noah?”
I ask.

Ming laughs. “Her boyfriend is Reece, not Noah.”

“Oh.” Brody shrugs. “Did you guys break up or something?”

“We’re just friends,” I say. “Noah’s been, like, my best guy friend since kindergarten.”

“Oh,” Brody says again.

“You know what I just realized?” Ming says. “It’s going to be crazy when we get back to school and people find out you’re with Reece. Everyone’s going to think you dumped Noah for him and there will be drama and rumors all over the place!”

I say, “I doubt people pay that much attention to Noah and me to even care.”

“Brody obviously does,” she says.

“Not
really
.” Brody’s cheeks redden. He looks around and stands up. “I’m getting a burrito.”

Ming scrunches up her face as he walks away.

“I guess I’ll go see what his deal is,” Xander says. “Do you want anything?”

“Cinnabon?” Ming suggests.

“You got it.”

Xander goes after Brody, and Ming shakes her head. “I swear. The guys Xander hangs out with are so
moody
. Aren’t you glad we set you up with his only non-emo friend?”

I’ve always suspected that Ming and Xander had purposely been trying to get Reece and me together, but this is the first time she’s ever confessed it to me.

“You know what?” I say, smiling at her. “I
am
glad.”

CHAPTER 19

A
n hour into the Crowne’s New Year’s Eve party, Piper and I are surrounded by the Law Offices of Crowne and DeLuca’s attorneys and admin staff, everyone’s significant others, and a few clients and fellow country club members. I don’t know how much longer I can take this—my new heels are killing me. The fact that Bryan isn’t here yet is clearly killing Piper.

I’m sure that he’ll show up eventually—my mom’s late too, and they’re coming together—but I don’t bother reassuring Piper. She hasn’t admitted to me that her sapphire blue dress and the pretty chignon that I pinned up for her are all for
him
, but I know it’s true. Whether or not he’ll care is the real question.

Well, that, and whether he’ll talk to me. Bryan’s been gone a lot since we got back from Whistler, hanging out with friends from high school while I’ve been trapped at home. I know that he’s avoiding me on purpose, and part of me is
almost
okay with it. I haven’t been sleeping much, though, wondering every night if he’s going to change his mind.

“I still can’t believe Alejandra,” Piper says, going back to her default topic of the night. “We start school again in two days so she can’t avoid us forever.”

Alejandra hasn’t responded to even one of Piper’s texts or calls about the Starbucks meeting that we were trying to set up for the other day. Not that it would have mattered anyway, since Mom wouldn’t have let me go.

“You aren’t the one she’s avoiding,” I say. “So don’t take it personally.”

“I’m
not
,” Piper says, even though it’s obvious by how she keeps bringing it up that she totally is. “The real problem is that Coach isn’t going to put up with it anymore,” she says. “And it’s going to end up hurting you the most. I mean, let’s face it. You and Alejandra are the two best sophomore dancers on the team, but only
you
are captain material.”

Instantly and unexpectedly, I’m on the defensive. “Why would you say that? She’s a better dancer than most of the seniors even, her choreography’s amazing, and—”

“And she doesn’t have what it takes to be a leader, Coley. You do.” Piper sips from her glass of sparkling punch. “I feel like if you fix things with her, you can turn this around and prove to Coach and the rest of the team that you’re right for
the job. By the end of the school year, when it’s time to vote, everyone will have forgotten that they had doubts about you.”

I fall silent and let her words soak in. Alejandra and I used to talk about it so much. How we’d both be captains senior year. How, if we worked hard enough this year, maybe we’d be picked as juniors, too. I want it, with or without Alejandra. I didn’t realize until now that the “with Alejandra” part still mattered to me.

Noah wanders back into the room, playing with his tie. “Is there anything more ridiculous than dressing up to hang out in my own house?” he asks, standing beside me.

“Be quiet,” Piper says, looking around at all the nearby adults, who happen to be drinking, chatting, laughing, and
not
paying attention to the three teenagers in their midst.

Why Tony and Mr. Crowne think it’s important that we come to this annual event is beyond me. Secretly I envy the triplets, who are spending New Year’s Eve at our house with a babysitter like Bryan, Piper, Noah, and I used to do when we were younger. Of course, back then we always wished we were here so we’d have a better view of the fireworks over the lake.

Noah lowers his voice. “I decided to go commando in secret protest. Now, with the chafing, it’s my dick that’s protesting.”

I giggle.

Piper frowns at both of us. “That’s disgusting. I don’t want to hear about your non-underwear habits.”

“I wouldn’t say that free balling is a
habit
of mine.” A grin spreads across Noah’s face. “But I could maybe turn it into one. I just have to build up some calluses.”

Piper shakes her head.

I cover my smile with my fingers, and Noah turns his attention to me. “Coley, is it the lighting in here, or did someone punch you?”

“
I
did,” I say, testing out how the words sound.

My bruise is still dark. With this and my big, crusty scab from my curling iron—covered at the moment by the chiffon wrap that I’m refusing to take off—I’m looking somewhat less than awesome from the neck up.

Noah’s eyes widen. “You punched your own face?”

So I sound completely crazy then.

“Like I’m that hardcore,” I say. “It was more of a cheek-meets-chairlift kind of a deal.” I skim my hand down the side of my satin dress. “Too bad purple clashes with red.”

“Yeah, you sure didn’t plan that very well,” Noah says.

Just then Piper stands up straighter and watches the now-open front door. I follow her gaze to where my mother is breezing through in a black, sequined dress. Bryan’s right behind her. He looks halfway decent for a change; he even shaved.

“Sorry, I’m late!” Mom announces.

“Mrs. DeLuca,” Noah says, “if you were on time, you wouldn’t be you.”

He’s teasing her, but it’s the truth, too.

Noah steps forward to take Mom’s wrap and clutch, while my brother rushes past Piper and me to the champagne fountain.

Like Piper, I’m frozen in this spot, watching Bryan’s every move. I used to be good at making myself forget about the things that happened between us. Now I feel like I’m suffocating from having to be in the same room with him.

Noah comes back from putting Mom’s stuff away at the same time that Bryan makes his way over.

“How’s it going?” Bryan asks.

His question doesn’t seem to have been directed at anyone in particular, but he’s looking my way for what might be the first time all week.

“We’re having the time of our fricken lives, of course,” Noah says. “Aren’t we, Coley?”

I put on a smile. “You
know
it.”

Eight days until Bryan flies back to the East Coast. Eight days until this weird tension disappears with him. Eight days until I can truly put that night at Whistler out of my mind.

Piper takes a step closer to Bryan. “Everything’s been going good for me. It’s my senior year. How are you? How’s UConn?”

“Eh,” Bryan says, shrugging.

“Oh, no! You don’t like it? I applied there too. I mean, because my parents really wanted me to,” she says quickly.

“I’m not sure it’s for me,” Bryan says. “When I graduated, it seemed important to get as far from here as possible. I had the right idea, I think, but the wrong place. I wish I’d taken a gap year. Or maybe two.”

He
wanted to get away? To me, he always made it seem like Mom and Tony didn’t give him a choice. I’m not sure if he’s saying this now to sound cool in front of Piper and Noah, or if it’s the truth. Everything about him confuses me lately.

“I’ve been thinking about taking a gap year,” Piper says.

Noah raises an eyebrow, which makes me think that, like me, he suspects that Piper came up with that idea exactly three seconds ago.

“That’s cool.” Bryan runs his hands over his hair. “Have you seen that movie
Into the Wild
? It’s a true story of this dude who gave up everything, hitchhiked to Alaska, and just lived out in the wild. I’d love to do that. Unplug from the world.”

“Yeah, okay,” Noah says. “But what you seem to be forgetting is that that guy lived in the wild only until he
died
in it.”

“Um, spoiler alert?” Piper says.

“It’s not a spoiler,” Noah says. “Everyone knows he died. That’s why there’s a movie about him.”

“I’d skip the dying part,” Bryan says. “I want to, like, grow a beard and just, you know, live off the land and find myself.”

“That sounds so amazing,” Piper says.

Noah takes my hand and pulls gently. For a moment, I resist; I know that Bryan doesn’t want to be left with Piper. Then I remember that I’m not interested right now in what Bryan wants, and walk away with Noah.

As soon as we’re out of earshot, Noah says, “Those two. Give me a break. They’d survive ten minutes in the wild.”

My tension eases a little. “You think you’d last longer?”

“Hell, no! But do you hear me talking about wanting to kill my own food and skipping a year of showers?” He leads me into the kitchen where he grabs two coffee cups. “All right. You go in and I’ll cover you.”

I have no idea what he’s talking about until he takes me near the champagne fountain and gives me a nudge toward it. He stands, blocking me as I hold the mugs under the cascade.

“This isn’t going to fool anyone for long,” I say as we slink away, each holding a full cup of champagne disguised as coffee.

“Doesn’t need to.” He ducks into the hallway covert-mission-
ops style, and guides me upstairs into his bedroom. After closing the door behind us, he taps his mug against mine and takes a drink. “You know what would go good with this?”

I sip and shake my head.

“Some nice Cuban cigars.”

“Oh, you.” I give his chest a push, and reopen the door. “I think we’d better keep it like this. You know how my mom gets.”

Noah plops onto his bed. “I definitely do. And now Reece knows too, right?”

I climb up beside him, careful not to flash him or catch my heels in his gray bedspread. We settle together against the pillows and face the huge, wall-mounted TV. “She hasn’t let me see him since he dropped me off that day,” I say. “She hasn’t let me see
anyone
. I had to sneak around at the mall to get to hang out with Ming for a few minutes today.”

“Harsh,” Noah says.

“I know!”

“Although, with Reece,” Noah says, “you should know by now that your mom is guaranteed to hate anyone she thinks wants to get into your pants. When school starts again, I think I’ll tell him all about the time she found us in her closet in second grade.”