Live for Me (18 page)

“First an owl, then a chipmunk.”

“I’m not very romantic, am I?” he said, his voice gruff, his forehead resting on mine. “This is different from what I’ve felt before. All I know is that you’re here.” He thumped his heart. “And I think that if you were to leave me a piece of it would be torn out and I would bleed to death.”

“That sounds pretty romantic to me,” I whispered. “Thank you.”

“God, don’t thank me. That makes it seem like I’m doing something for you, a favor, when the truth is, it’s the opposite.” Devin rubbed his lips over my temple and I closed my eyes briefly.

He felt so good, so masculine, so loving. So mine. It seemed unreal, like this couldn’t be happening. But it was. His touch was possessive, his kiss tender.

“I look at you and you’re content, grateful for your life, and I think I don’t have any right to be an asshole about anything.” The next kiss he gave me was deep and passionate. “God, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Our lips met again and again and I poured my heart into each one, wanting him to feel and read and understand that he had me for as long as he wanted me. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“It’s happening. This has been happening since the minute not that I laid eyes on you, but the minute you spoke. You captured me with your words.”

“And suddenly now I can’t think of anything to say.”

“Just kiss me then.”

So I did.

He guided me down onto the floor and his hand worked its way under my shirt, our kisses getting more frantic, urgent. My legs wrapped around his ankles and I realized I was lifting my hips to meet his, desire overcoming reason.

Emotion and arousal were taking me to a place of no return, our touches more greedy and desperate than seductive.

I pushed at his shoulders before we went any further. “Devin,” I breathed. “We have to stop. All your friends are in the other room.”

“So? They won’t hear anything.” He bent down to kiss me again in the dark.

“But they’ll know. I can’t go back out there… after.”

“We don’t have to go back out there until the morning then.”

“Then they’ll really know!”

“Are you embarrassed for them to know we’re together?” he asked, eyebrows drawing together.

“No, of course not. I mean, I’m sure they’re going to be really surprised, but if you’re okay going public, I’m fine with it.” I was. It might actually make it tolerable to be in their company if they knew that I wasn’t just Devin’s weird little housesitter who had no purpose in being at their party. “I just meant I don’t want them to know we’re having sex right now.”

“We are?” He waggled his eyebrows. “I must be doing it wrong then.”

Laughing softly, I smacked his arm. “I’m serious.”

“But if they weren’t here, you’d have sex with me?” he asked carefully.

I nodded, swallowing hard. I was just a teeny bit terrified, but I loved him and trusted him.

“Holy shit, okay. I thought we were just making out. I can kick them out.” He was already halfway to standing up.

“What? No!” I sat up, laughing breathlessly. “You can’t do that. We’ll just have to wait until they leave in two days. In two days, right? Or are you really going to celebrate New Year’s Eve on a jet crossing each time zone?”

“Not unless you want to.” He held his hand out to help me on to my feet. “I’d prefer to spend it alone with you.”

I rose. “I’d like that.” I suddenly felt shy, eyes darting to the floor. I didn’t know how to be Devin’s girlfriend. Was that what I was? I wasn’t even sure.

He touched my chin and tilted my head up. “Hey,” he said softly. “Marry me.”

The world actually tilted. I swore for a second everything, sound, time, came to a screeching halt and tipped the World As I Knew It. “What?” I whispered. “Are you serious?”

“I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t serious.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. “We already know we can live together without conflict. I don’t want this to be casual. I want to know that you’re committed to me. To us.”

I had already committed my heart to him. There were so few people I was truly drawn to, that I opened myself up to. I had shared my genuine emotions with Devin, allowed him to see my fears and insecurities. I was committed to him. To us. Without question, with or without marriage. That he wanted me the same way I wanted him astonished and humbled me.

My choices were limited. His were boundless.

Yet he was choosing me. Of all the women he could be with, he wanted me.

“Is that really what you want?” I asked, quietly, giving him an opportunity to change his mind. “People will talk, you know. They’ll say things about our age difference, give you a hard time. They’ll say you’re slumming.” And worse.

He nodded. “It is very much what I want. I want to call you my wife. You have more maturity than women twice your age, and people will talk no matter what, so whatever. I can handle the gossip.”

Then I wasn’t going to worry about it. I had been the subject of gossip my whole life. People had trashed my mother. Trashed my father. Trashed me. Let the gossip bloggers call me ugly and a gold digger. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before and what did I care? I knew who and what I was. I put my arms around him.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes. I will marry you,” I said simply. “After your divorce, of course.”

He laughed softly and kissed my temple, his lips brushing over my skin. “I’ll double the lawyer’s fee to get him moving. You’ve made me very happy. And just so you know, I’m sneaking into your room later after everyone else is asleep.”

I laughed, an expression of the pure joy I felt. “You are not.”

“Uh, yes, I am. I’m not going to be denied the feeling of sleeping with you in my arms for the first time.”

A shiver of excited anticipation ran up my spine. The idea of being able to slide up next to Devin in bed and rest my head on his chest, without any questions or awkwardness, sounded like perfection. “If you insist,” I said.

“I do. Now are you coming back out there?”

I nodded. “Kiss me, Devin. One more time.”

He bent his head, amber eyes darkening. “I love hearing my name on your lips. My real name.”

“Devin,” I whispered.

“Tiffany,” he murmured. “My heart belongs to you.”

I didn’t expect our absence to go unremarked on, and it didn’t. As soon as we reappeared, Lizzie stopped sucking on an olive suggestively and stared at Devin’s hand on the small of my back. She said, “Oh, my God, what was that all about? Were you seriously caring a dead person’s ashes in that grocery bag? WTF.”

“Lizzie,” Devin reprimanded. “Show a little fucking sympathy.”

But this was only the beginning. I knew that. The sign of things to come. Everyone was going to have something nasty to say to me once they realized that the plain loser girl from Maine had scored Devin. But I was so high on his love that I didn’t even care. Let them hate.

“Have you ever lost someone you care about?” I asked Lizzie, slipping onto a stool at the island where she leaning. “A parent or grandparent? A friend who died?”

For a second she looked caught off guard, but then she turned mulish. “Of course. Everyone has.”

“So you get that it’s a little hard to let go after only five days.”

“Whatever.”

Jay, who had never spoken to me, shook his head. “Lizzie, sometimes you’re just a bitch, you know that?”

“Fuck you,” was her response to that. “So what’s the deal with you two?” she asked then, gesturing between Devin and me. “G, is this seriously your new little fuck buddy? Pedo alert.”

“You’re the one dressed like a twelve year old hooker,” he told her. “And you need to either keep your opinions to yourself or take yourself back to the city because I’m not going to listen to you insult Tiffany.”

“Rawr,” she said, making mocking clawing motions. “Sorry. I didn’t realize you were so attached to your new toy.”

“Liz, come on,” her boyfriend said, taking her hand and tugging her away from the island. “Let’s go upstairs.”

“Why?”

“To keep you out of trouble.” He gave her a smile and smacked her backside. “And to get a little action. Come on, baby.”

I wasn’t sure if he was doing it out of kindness or if he really did just want to have sex, but he managed to lure her away and up the stairs, Lizzie laughing as they went. With her gone, the tension in the room disappeared. No one else asked any questions, and I sat there, sipping a soft drink and listening to their conversation about business, fighting the urge to grin. I heard the chatting in the kitchen, but I was mostly focused on my own thoughts, on Devin’s words in my room. He loved me. That was all that mattered.

Sapphire sat down next to me and gave me a smile. “Don’t worry about Lizzie,” she told me. “She just hates when she’s not the center of attention. It’s a common personality trait in this industry. Most of us are attention whores.”

I smiled back, grateful that she was making an effort to talk to me. “It’s okay. I understand that everyone is wondering why a nobody is at their party.”

“Girl, don’t downplay yourself like that. Everyone is somebody.” She studied me. “But be careful, okay? Men like G, they’re used to getting what they want. Doesn’t mean they’re not good men. But no one tells them no.”

While the warning was clearly well meant, I didn’t want to hear it. Not right then. Not when I just wanted to wrap Devin’s words around me like a warm blanket and hold them to me. “I don’t plan to tell him no,” I said, quite simply.

Her eyebrows shot up. “Well, all right then. I guess you know what you’re about.”

“I do.” I reached over and touched her arm, wanting her to understand that I really did appreciate her warning. “Thanks. You’re being really nice to me. I appreciate it.”

“You seem different,” she said. “I like what I see. I just don’t want to see that destroyed.” Her long pointy fingernails smoothed her platinum hair down the side of her head. “But G is a good man.”

Devin heard her last comment as he came up behind me and kissed the back of my head. “Thanks, sugar,” he told her. “So did Tiffany tell you we’re getting married?”

Her hand dropped to the marble countertop. “Excuse me? No, she did not tell me that.”

His arms had wrapped around me from behind and I felt enveloped, supported, even as I tried not to let Sapphire’s response make me uncomfortable. Of course she was going to react with surprise. It was shocking news.

“Yep. She was smart enough to say yes to me and now she’s committed. I’m not letting her go ever.”

I was grinning. I couldn’t help it. He sounded so enthusiastic, so happy. His embrace was strong, warm. I leaned back against his chest.

“Well. Congratulations,” she said, raising her cocktail glass. “All the best.”

“What are we toasting?” Ray said, wandering over with a bottle of scotch in his hand.

“G and Tiffany are engaged,” Sapphire told him.

“You shittin’ me?” He sounded a little drunk, which was confirmed when he moved to clap Devin on the shoulder and stumbled a little in the process. “Congrats, bro.”

“Thanks. I couldn’t have picked a better girl.” Devin finally let me go and reached for the glass he had abandoned earlier.

“Hell, you could have picked anyone and she’d be better than Kadence,” Jay said. “That bitch is crazy.”

It wasn’t exactly a ringing endorsement for me, but I’d take it.

The other woman, Cassandra, had wandered over and while she happily accepted another cocktail, she didn’t look like she cared one way or the other what Devin’s plans with me were. Given the glassy eyes, the cocaine and the alcohol were mixed with a third substance. My guess was heroin, based on a former foster sibling, but I didn’t know for sure. I did know I was glad when after another twenty minutes she and her husband disappeared.

“Let’s go, boo,” Jay said to Sapphire. He gave a fake yawn, followed by a wink. “I’m tired. March your sexy ass up those stairs.”

She rolled her eyes, but she did stand up. “Goodnight, G.” Then she startled me by leaning over and giving me a hug. “Goodnight, Tiffany.”

“Goodnight.” I hugged her back, pleased. I knew she wasn’t that much older than me, at the most twenty-five, but she seemed so much more experienced, wise. It made me feel good that she was willing to accept my relationship with Devin.

We were left alone in the kitchen, Devin kissing the side of my neck. “Well, I guess this means I don’t have to sneak into your room after all.”

“Shouldn’t we clean up?” I asked, glancing around at all the sticky surfaces, the half-eaten appetizers, the dirty wine flutes and martini glasses.

“Are you insane? No.” Devin nuzzled further down, tugging at the neck of my sweatshirt. “The housekeeper can do it.”

“I am the housekeeper.”

“Not anymore. Now you’re my girlfriend.”

I shivered. I hadn’t thought about what that meant. Not exactly. I didn’t want to either. That was for later. Right now, I wanted to retreat into my room with Devin, away from harsh lights and potentially prying eyes. I slipped out of the bar stool with the intention of going with him to my room but it had the effect of taking me out of his reach. He frowned.

“If you start cleaning up this kitchen I swear I will throw you over my shoulder and drag you kicking and screaming out of here.”

I raised an eyebrow. “That’s a bit ridiculous and dramatic. I was just standing up.”

“Oh. Good.” He smiled. Grinned, actually. “Let’s go to your room.”

“That’s what I was planning to do. And for the record, if you ever try to throw me over your shoulder and take me anywhere, I will pack and leave.” I knew he was teasing, but at the same time, he needed to remember who I was. That nonsense wasn’t going to fly with me. I’d been at the mercy of other people my entire life. I had no fantasies about being dominated by a man.

He didn’t get angry.

Instead he laced his fingers through mine and raised our hands so he could kiss my knuckles. “I’ll never make you do anything you don’t want to do. You have my word on that.”

His reassurance meant the world to me. “Good. Because I definitely don’t want to move to Florida.”

“No one is moving to Florida.” He kissed me, the kind of loving, sensual kiss that made me sigh.