Linda Ford (17 page)

“You said I was capable. A force to be reckoned with.” Her voice had fallen to an uncertain whisper. Perhaps she had misunderstood his intent.

“But surely you already knew that?”

She lowered her head, studied her fingers clutched tightly in her lap. “I’ve always worried that I would fail. Not live up to people’s expectations.”

“But now you know differently.”

It wasn’t a question but a statement of fact, and she flashed him a smile she feared revealed not only how much she appreciated his comments but the man himself.

Nearby, a clock chimed the hour. Colton listened and counted aloud. “It’s time to make our way to the opera house. Now, don’t think it’s an opera house like ones you would be familiar with. It’s just a fancy name for a wooden hall with balconies.” He tucked her hand in the crook of his arm.

“Colton, don’t you think it’s about time you stopped apologizing for Nebraska?”

He half missed a step. “Is that what I’m doing? I guess I am. I’m sorry.”

“I should think so. I suspect that you’re actually proud of your town. I know you’re proud of your ranch. Or at least you were until I told you about the Sterling house.”

They turned the corner.

“There’s the opera house.”

It was an impressively large building with a balcony surrounding the entire second story. The balcony’s overhang was the roof for a wide veranda on the ground floor. Already people were walking through the doors. They hurried to join them. Colton quickly paid their admission and led her about halfway down the carpeted aisle to theater seats upholstered in burgundy velvet.

“This is very nice,” she murmured as they sat side by side.

“Really?”

She sighed. “Will you stop that?”

“I’m trying.”

A man came onto the stage and called for attention. She sat back and prepared to enjoy herself.

The first song was one she’d never heard before. Michael Moorehead sang “My Western Home.”

“‘Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam. Where the deer and the antelope play. Where seldom is heard a discouraging word.’”

The lyrics tugged at her heart and filled her with an echoing response. She wanted to belong here. In Nebraska. The ache of the words settled deep. She wiped a tear from her eyes and hoped Colton didn’t notice. Then a second man played Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” on the piano and her heart threatened to break into a hundred weeping pieces.

Her hand lay on the armrest between them and he rested his hand over it. His touch deepened her distress.

Where did she belong? Where was her home? Her place of joy?

It was all she could do not to turn her palm to his and cling to him with all her might.

* * *

Colton kept his hand firmly on Rebecca’s and resisted the urge to squeeze tight as she wiped her eyes. He couldn’t help wondering if hearing the songs and music made her homesick.

Then the main male singer stood and sang “Silver Threads among the Gold.” About a person growing old, getting silver in his hair and still in love with his wife, seeing her as he’d seen her when she was young. The words tightened his throat. Would he ever find someone to share his life? He shook away the thought. Not as long as he had parents to care for. That was where his first loyalty lay.

Surely he could enjoy a good musical program without the words twisting his thoughts out of control.

Later, as they headed home, he talked to keep himself from thinking. And perhaps doing something foolish like pulling her into his arms and kissing her soundly.

“I never told you that I was sick for a couple of years when I was a kid.”

“No, you didn’t. What was wrong?”

“Rheumatic fever. I had to rest day and night. I was seven years old and used to being active. If Ma and Pa hadn’t devoted themselves to entertaining me, I doubt I would have obeyed the doctor’s orders.” The extra work had been especially hard on his ma. She’d never fully recovered her strength after his birth.

“I wonder...” She didn’t finish.

“What?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s something or you wouldn’t have started to say it. Tell me.” He nudged her shoulder and kept his voice teasing.

She favored him with a sky-blue look. “Your ma said I didn’t know the whole story. Maybe that’s what she meant.”

“I owe them for so much. They were older when I was born. They’ve given me everything I need. A loving home. Care when I was sick. Approval.”

“And you feel you owe them. I understand that.”

He tried to convince himself that he appreciated her understanding. But he didn’t. He wanted her to indicate she didn’t like it. Wished things could be different. Even suggest a compromise or a willingness to accept his situation and still fit into his life.

He knew it was impossible.

She was city. She had duty. He was country. He had parents he was responsible for.

And yet...

His heart would not accept that there was no solution.

Chapter Fifteen

R
ebecca understood that there existed an impossible distance between herself and Colton, between her wishes and her reality.

Nothing had changed. Nothing could.

In the days that followed, they continued their work on the orphanage.

“The rooms are taking shape and need to be furnished. I expect the children any day.” Rebecca went through the building, checking her lists. She’d ordered the furniture and supplies from Mr. Gavin and hoped they’d arrive in good time.

“Miss Sterling.”

She half jolted out of her shoes at the imperious tone.
Please, Lord, patience
. Slowly, she turned to face Miss Ward. “Good morning. What can I do for you?” The woman showed up at the orphanage at unexpected times to fuss about some detail.

“These doors don’t look square to me. Have you had a real carpenter check them?”

Today it was doors. Two days ago, the windows. Before that, the chimney. “Mr. Lang personally inspected them. I believe he is a carpenter of some repute.”

“Yes, yes. That’s all well and good. But look here.” She bent over the door frame and eyed it. “Isn’t that a splinter?” She picked off a speck. “Shoddy work.” She stomped from the room, glancing over her shoulder. “Are you coming?”

For two wooden nails Rebecca would have refused, but she’d learned that the best way to deal with the woman was to humor her.

Miss Ward saw a pile of sawdust where up to a moment ago the men had been working on a closet. Now they were all strangely absent. No doubt they’d seen Miss Ward coming and abandoned Rebecca to deal with the situation on her own. Miss Ward pointed at the sawdust. “Shameful. That constitutes a fire hazard.” She spun about to confront Rebecca face-to-face. “You should be more cautious. After all, that little girl you have was scarred in a fire.”

Miss Ward plowed on without giving Rebecca a chance to reply.

She completed her inspection and sniffed. “I suggest you get that cleaned up before I report you to the sheriff. Humph.” She stormed out.

Rebecca stared.

“I heard that,” Colton said from behind her. “Don’t pay her any mind.”

Rebecca shook her head. “I simply can’t believe how vitriolic she is.”

He squeezed her shoulders. “You’ve won a battle to continue construction of the orphanage, and she doesn’t want to admit that she’s lost.”

“Apart from her, this community will provide the kind of support these children will need.”

“Then pay her no mind.”

“Easier said than done when she pops in all the time. It seems as if she always sneaks up on me and catches me unprepared.”

“I wouldn’t expect that is any accident.”

A noise turned their attention to the doorway, and Rebecca was surprised to see Amelia Hicks. She’d gotten to know the woman a little—Amelia had been very kind to the orphans when they first arrived. But it had been difficult to get to know her well. Amelia’s husband, Vern Hicks, was a domineering man, and it seemed that the only thing he enjoyed more than drinking at the saloon was bossing and berating his timid wife.

“Amelia?” Colton said. “I thought you were visiting your sister.”

“Is she gone? Miss Ward, is she gone?”

* * *

“Yes.” Colton rushed to his cousin’s side. “Are you okay? You look awfully pale.” The only place for her to sit was on a bench one of the men used as he worked, and Colton led Amelia to it.

Rebecca knelt by the woman’s side and rubbed her hands. She glanced at Colton, her eyes filled with worry.

Colton knew that Amelia’s husband drank too much, too frequently and then tended to use his fists on Amelia. He’d suggested a few times that she leave him, but she said he would only track her down and then things would be worse. Had the man injured Amelia this time?

He curled and uncurled his fists. He had the same raging reaction every time he thought of this tiny woman facing her angry husband. So defenseless. So vulnerable.

He fought his anger, and when he had it under control, he knelt by Amelia’s side.

She lifted big green eyes to his. They silently pleaded.

“Amelia, what’s wrong?”

“I’ve been very, very wicked.”

He strained to hear her whisper. “Vern?” he asked. “Did you—” Had she been driven to hurt him?

“I don’t know where Vern is. I haven’t seen him since—” Her throat worked hard. “For three weeks. He thinks I’m in Kansas visiting my sister, Amanda.”

“When did you come back?”

“This morning.”

What had brought Amelia to the orphanage? “Are you afraid to go home?”

She nodded, her eyes bleak. “I did something awful.”

“Amelia, what is it?”

“It’s too awful to talk about.”

He chuckled. “Then why are you here aching to tell me?”

“You’ll hate me, but no more than I hate myself.”

He hugged her. “I could never hate you. We’re family—and you’re like a sister to me.”

Rebecca settled back, watching and waiting, her expression guarded. He understood that she had far less reason to know Amelia could not harm anyone than he did. He’d known Amelia all his life. They’d often been playmates.

“I think you’d better tell me what you did that you consider so awful,” Colton said.

Her eyes clung to his, bored into his soul, demanded understanding.

He took her hands. “Amelia, it can’t be that bad.”

She swallowed audibly. “I had a baby.”

“Congratulations.” Did she mean she’d delivered a baby while in Kansas? But if so, where was the child? “A boy or a girl? When can I meet the little one?”

“It’s a boy. You can’t meet him.” She rocked her head back and forth.

Horror as dark as a storm filled his thoughts. The same reaction filled Rebecca’s eyes. “The baby died?”

Tears filled Amelia’s eyes and she shook her head. “I don’t know where he is.”

Colton sat back on his heels and tried to make sense of her words. “You lost him?” A worse thought tore at his gut. “Vern took him?”

Amelia rocked her head back and forth and moaned. “I abandoned him. I don’t know if Gabriel is even alive.” Her moans intensified.

Colton jolted to his feet. “Where did you leave him? When? I’ll find him.”

Rebecca touched his arm. “She said
Gabriel.
”

Of course. It made perfect sense. He’d given up finding Gabriel’s mother, assuming it had been a woman in desperate straits, someone passing through Evans Grove. He squatted before Amelia. “Tell me everything.”

She nodded. “Vern didn’t want children and I didn’t, either. How would I defend a child? So I let him think I was only putting on weight.” She snorted. “Wasn’t hard to convince him of it because I’ve steadily done so since we got married.”

Colton nodded. Some might think Amelia’s weight reflected a well-kept woman. In her case, it showed a troubled woman.

“But I feared what he would do if he ever learned the truth. So I had the baby in secret and left him on this doorstep.” With a tortured wail, she pointed to the spot where Colton had found the baby.

He grabbed Amelia’s hands and shook her gently to gain her attention. “I have Gabriel. Rebecca and I. He’s fine. He’s safe. We’ve been caring for him out at the ranch.”

Amelia fell back. If not for the wall behind her, she would have tumbled from the bench. Her hand splayed over her chest. “He’s safe? Praise God. Praise God.” She murmured the words over and over again.

Colton grinned at Rebecca. He thought her answering smile seemed a bit strained, but before he could consider the idea, she knelt before Amelia.

“The baby is doing very well. He’s beautiful and strong.”

“Can I go to the ranch and see him?”

“What about Vern?” Colton didn’t trust the man. Never had. He’d tried to talk Amelia out of marrying him, but Vern could be charming when he wanted to be and when he was sober. He’d persuaded Amelia that he would reform if she married him. Amelia had soon learned the emptiness of promises from a drinking man.

The joy fled from Amelia’s face, replaced by fear. “If he learns about the baby—” She clutched at her throat.

“Then he must not know the baby is yours,” Rebecca said.

Colton turned to her. “What do you have in mind?”

“No one needs to know she’s Gabriel mother. No one even needs to know she’s back in town. She could come with us to the ranch and look after the children. It would certainly be easier for everyone than bringing them to town every day. Plus, if Amelia is at the ranch, someone would be with your parents.”

“Excellent idea. What do you think, Amelia?”

“I’ll do anything to be with my baby. Anything.”

“It’s agreed, then. In the meantime, you need to stay out of sight until we can get you to the ranch. Let Vern continue to think you are in Kansas.” He had no desire to deal with the man, who would surely be angry, demanding that his wife return to her home to care for him.

It was several hours before they would normally head back to the ranch and he tried to think of a way to keep Amelia hidden until that time. He went to the nearest window and looked out. Miss Ward stood before the orphanage staring at it. He thought she’d left long ago, but she couldn’t stop looking for something wrong. Never mind the interfering woman.

She saw him and marched away, her head high, her nose tipped toward the sky.

He turned back to consider the two women. “Amelia, do you have a shawl?”

“In my bag.” She pointed to the overstuffed container at the doorway.

“Put it on and cover your head with it.”

She did so. “Now go out the side door. Keep your head down and your face hidden as much as possible. Go out of town to the south.” Fewer people would see her than if she went through the center of town. “Once you’re away from town, make your way around to that little hill where you found that pretty silver rock. You remember the place?”

“I remember.”

“Wait there and we’ll get you on the way home.”

She pulled the shawl tight to her neck and slipped away.

Rebecca joined Colton and they watched her until she was out of sight.

“I would have never guessed,” he said.

“Poor woman. I hope she’ll be safe.”

* * *

Rebecca found it difficult to keep her mind from continually returning to Amelia’s announcement. She was Gabriel’s mother. That changed things. There was no need for two women at the ranch to care for the children or take care of the cooking and cleaning. She was no longer needed.

As she went from room to room in the orphanage and answered questions from the workers, she pondered her problem.

Rebecca didn’t need to stay at the ranch. But where did Heidi belong? Until the orphanage was finished and staffed, Heidi was still her responsibility and needed to stay in her care. Perhaps she would put off any change until she’d had more time to evaluate the situation.

She and Colton worked until late afternoon, picked up the children and left town. They paused at the appointed place.

“Why are we stopping?” Heidi asked.

Rebecca let Colton answer. “To pick up Gabriel’s mother.”

“Why is she here?”

Rebecca and Colton had discussed how much to tell Heidi and he gave their agreed-upon answer. “She has to hide with us at the ranch. Otherwise, someone might try to hurt her or the baby.”

Heidi’s eyes widened and she spoke to Colton. “But you will take care of her.”

“She’ll be safe at the ranch as long as no one mentions she’s here or says anything about her being Gabriel’s mama.”

“I won’t. I promise.” She crossed her heart.

Amelia reached the buggy and Colton jumped down to help her into the backseat.

“My baby?” She was breathless.

Gabriel slept in his basket and Rebecca handed him to his mother. Amelia pressed him to her cheek as her tears flowed unchecked.

“Do you remember me? I’m Heidi,” the child said. “Sometimes I help with the baby.”

Amelia didn’t answer. Rebecca realized that the woman was too overcome with emotion.

At the ranch, Amelia was welcomed with open arms by her aunt and uncle.

“Colton said the baby belonged in the family,” Mrs. Hayes said. “Even without the quilt, I should have seen the resemblance.”

Heidi hung back, watching.

Rebecca watched, too, wondering if a baby who belonged in the family and a prodigal niece who’d returned would replace Heidi in the Hayeses’ affections.

But Colton pulled the girl to his lap, and Heidi melted against his chest. His pa smiled at Heidi.

“So what do you think of Gabriel getting a mama?” Colton asked the girl.

“I think he is very, very, very happy.”

They all laughed at her exuberance.

“I thank you for caring for Gabriel and now sheltering me.” Amelia looked about. “But I don’t need looking after.” She handed the baby to Mrs. Hayes and set to work in a kitchen that was obviously familiar to her. “Aunt Estelle, I remember when you taught Amanda and me to make the best chocolate cake. I still use your recipe. Anyone care for cake later?”

Rebecca joined in the chorus of approval.

Amelia bustled. There was no other word for it. She whipped up a cake, put it in the oven. She gave Heidi the bowl to lick, then had the child scrub potatoes. She gave Rebecca a turnip to peel while she filled the bottle for Gabriel. “I’ll feed him.”

Rebecca heard the longing in her voice. She’d missed the baby’s early days and now she’d likely be reluctant to share any of the feedings for quite some time.

The baby finished his bottle.

Rebecca saw the glisten of tears in Amelia’s eyes before she turned to Heidi. “Would you like to hold the baby while I make gravy?”

When Heidi danced over to the cot and settled down, Amelia placed the baby in her arms.

“I’ve held him lots already,” Heidi said. “He likes me holding him.”

The baby looked into Heidi’s face, his mouth puckered into a sweet bow.

“I can see that he does.”

At bedtime, Amelia went to the room across the hall with Gabriel, leaving Heidi and Rebecca alone in the room they’d shared since their arrival at the ranch.

“I don’t have to go to town tomorrow?” Heidi asked.

“There’s no need with Amelia here.”