Linda Ford (21 page)

She whirled about. “How many more are there like him and his brother?”

The agony in her voice ached through him. He opened his arms and she readily came into his embrace. He held her close. “We’ve done all we can to help them.”

She stilled in his arms. “I pray Sam will accept your offer.” She leaned back and smiled up at him. “Thank you for it.”

Her smile smoothed the sharp corners of his insides that had been built there with Sam’s story. “You’re the one who got through to him.”

She sobered. “It’s so dreadful.”

He couldn’t bear to see her troubled expression. He pulled her closer, relishing the comfort she took in his embrace.

A few minutes later they headed home. All the way she talked about Sam and the others like him, words racing from her mouth. He helped her from the buggy, holding her long after her feet rested solidly on the ground.

She laughed softly. “I really am a force to be reckoned with.”

“I’d say so. Your job here is just about successfully completed.”

Her smile fled. “I hope my father will appreciate all I’ve done.” Her sigh came from deep inside. “He’s expecting me home soon.”

Colton backed away. Her constant reminder of her plans to return to New York rebuilt the creaking walls in his heart with double strength.

Chapter Nineteen

A
melia adjusted a quilt on one of the cots in the boys’ dorm. “Things have worked out well for everyone. Praise God.”

Sam had accepted Colton’s offer and had gone to work for a nearby rancher.

“Not that there aren’t bad things in life.” Her expression clouded. Rebecca wondered if her thoughts had slipped back to Vern.

“Like what these poor children had dealt with.” She straightened and her mouth grew stubborn. So much like Colton. “With God’s help I will do my best to make their lives here pleasant.”

“I know you will.” Rebecca could leave with her conscience clear that she had done well as an OSS agent. However, the thought provided scant comfort. She wanted to stay. To belong. Not just in the community, but in Colton’s heart.

She had no one but herself to blame for thinking it could be different. From the start, people in the community had made it clear that they expected her to leave.

She didn’t belong here. That knowledge festered inside her.

But she had her life to return to. And, God help her, she would face it with newfound grace and courage.

“I’d like to go through the kitchen again,” Amelia said.

They descended the stairs. Ted, Colton and two others were putting the final touches on the shelves and furnishings. The wooden table had been sanded and oiled to a glowing finish. Benches offered seating on either side of the table. The kitchen cupboards provided adequate storage, and a thick-topped worktable would allow three or four women to work together. Rebecca could envision the room finished, children clustered around the table, chattering happily.

“I want to go over the list of supplies you have and see if there is anything that needs to be added.” Amelia studied the kitchen as if seeing it occupied.

With no desire to face Colton, Rebecca turned to the room that would serve as a front room or a library—basically, an all-purpose room. Unfurnished at the moment, she thought of putting in a couple of sofas and some big chairs where the children could curl up and read. Another table for homework. And a piano. She doubted the town would consider it necessary, but she could imagine the children learning to play or someone coming in to entertain them.

She would give them a piano as her present when she left.

Her ribs tightened like a fist, squeezing her heart so each beat was painful. Clutching her middle, she staggered to the window and looked out at the street, the town square. Charlotte and Sasha walked through the grove of trees.

Rebecca had been instrumental in making sure that child had a home.

Her only failure had been Heidi.

The pain in her chest deepened until she wondered how she didn’t bleed from her pores. She loved the child. Had dreamed of keeping her, even if she had to return to New York. Now she must relinquish her, because Heidi would be staying here. She would be near her brother. Rebecca couldn’t be happier for the child, but oh, how she’d miss her sweet presence.

Almost as much as she’d miss the town. Her new friends.

Somehow she must keep from adding Colton to the list of things she’d miss, for she feared any more pain would tear her asunder.

“Rebecca.” Colton stood in the doorway.

At the sound of her name on the lips of the very person she was trying so desperately not to think about, Rebecca’s heart refused to keep beating.

He took a step forward, hesitating.

She couldn’t answer. Couldn’t think. Her brain thundered with lack of oxygen. One thought surfaced. She would not faint.

She forced her ribs to lift and sucked in air that steadied her.

“A lot of things have changed.”

This was it, then—the moment when he told her that she was no longer needed, that it was time for her to go. She could not bear the apologetic tone of his voice. But she lacked the power to walk away.

He closed the space separating them, one slow step at a time. She couldn’t watch, so she kept her gaze focused out the window as she counted his steps. One. Two.
Oh, please, hurry and get this over with.
Three.
Stop. I don’t want to hear it.
Four.
I will survive. I will survive.

Although she looked out the window, nothing registered.

Five. He was at her side. She closed her eyes. To her dying day the scent of fresh-sawn lumber would bring back every detail of her stay. But mostly she’d think of Colton.

Thankfully, she would have little reason to be around newly cut wood.

“We have company,” he muttered. “I wonder what they want.”

Did she only imagine that he sounded disgusted? She opened her eyes to see who he meant. Pauline, Mason and Reverend Turner were at the front door. Already the door opened and they stepped inside.

“Hello? Colton? Rebecca?” Pauline called.

“We’re in here.” Colton strode to the hallway to greet them.

Rebecca forced in two deep breaths to still the pounding of her heart and followed.

“There you are.” Pauline nodded a greeting.

Mason and the reverend also greeted her.

“After what Vern Hicks has said about Beatrice—the way she told him where to find Amelia and put all of your lives in danger—we have decided we must confront Beatrice.” Pauline was the spokesperson for the trio. “She has put people at risk. She simply must desist.”

“We all agree,” Mason said.

“We want you to come with us so she can apologize to you,” Reverend Turner said.

“Me?” Rebecca squeaked out the word.

“You and Colton.” Pauline was quite adamant.

“We’ll come.” Colton answered.

Rebecca didn’t want to confront Miss Ward, but she lacked the strength to argue, so they trooped from the orphanage, turned right and marched down First Street to Victory. Like a parade, they turned left and continued onward to the hotel. Pauline led the way, pulling Rebecca at her side. The men followed.

Rebecca would have preferred to be at the back of the entourage, but walking at Colton’s side would have made it impossible for her to be calm and collected. From past experience, she knew that she must be when facing Beatrice Ward.

They marched up the steps and walked single file through the door into the lobby.

Beatrice looked up from an armchair, where she was reading. She saw them flank each other and fear flickered through her eyes, replaced almost instantly with defiance.

Ned Minor stood behind the desk, as curious as the farm cats.

Pauline spoke to him. “Ned, would you give us some privacy, please?”

Ned reluctantly slunk away and closed the office door with a click.

Beatrice jumped to her feet with an agility that surprised Rebecca. “What’s this all about?”

Pauline, still the spokesperson, answered, “I think you know. You have opposed the orphanage from the start and gone out of your way to destroy and discredit the Orphan Salvation Society’s work. But your interference in sending Vern after Amelia was more than opposition. It was dangerous.”

Beatrice bristled. “Vern had a right to know where his wife was. I’m not responsible for his getting drunk before he went out there.”

Mason sighed heavily. “You should have known he’d do something violent. It’s the way he always deals with things.”

Rebecca thought she detected a flicker of regret before Beatrice sniffed. “I had no idea what he would do. I merely knew that his wife was being considered for a role running the orphanage, and thought he’d prefer to have her running her home, as usual.”

Pauline sighed. “You endangered half a dozen people just to prevent the orphanage from having a director? Beatrice, this must stop. Your opposition to something the community is committed to is, at the very least, a cause of division.”

“I’m entitled to my opinion.”

Reverend Simpson stepped forward. “Beatrice, I don’t believe you meant for things to get out of hand the way they did. Why not apologize for your part in the events and then move on as a supportive part of the community?”

Beatrice sniffed extra long and hard. “I cannot support bringing those ruffians to Evans Grove. Haven’t we dealt with enough already? The flood. Homes and businesses damaged. Hasn’t the community allowed enough street children into our midst? Against my advice. Mark my words. We will yet rue the day. Now if you’ll excuse me...” She retrieved her book and, with head held high enough to brush the cobwebs from the ceiling, marched up the stairs.

Rebecca stared after her.

Pauline shook her head. “That woman refuses to change.”

“As long as she isn’t directly responsible for any more dangerous incidents,” Mason said, “I don’t care what she thinks about how the rest of us choose to live.”

Reverend Turner held his black bowler hat to his chest. “We could all live with her attitude if she wasn’t so intent on making us adopt it.”

Colton simply stared, then said, “How hard is it to apologize? Even if she wasn’t responsible for how Vern acted, at the very least, she told him Amelia was at the ranch, and that deserves an apology.” He looked at Rebecca, his eyes as dark as a forest floor. “Things might have turned out a lot differently than they did.”

Rebecca, trapped in the softness of the forest, nodded. No matter what happened, she would forever be grateful that no one had been hurt, both when Vern stormed into the ranch house and when Sam sneaked into the orphanage.

They trooped out the door.

Pauline escorted them back to the orphanage. “I want to talk to Amelia.”

Pauline and Rebecca spent an hour with Amelia double-checking supply lists.

“It sounds fine to me,” Pauline finally said. “Amelia, do you have someone you’d recommend as a cook?”

“I haven’t given it any thought. This whole thing is new to me. What would you suggest, Rebecca?”

Rebecca jerked. “I’m sorry?” It had taken only a glance out the window, to where Colton spoke to some of the men, for her thoughts to slide sideways.

“I wondered if you had anyone in mind as cook.”

She shepherded her mind back to the duties at hand. “It might be nice if we had an older woman. A grandmotherly figure, perhaps.” She’d seen how much Colton’s parents offered Heidi. “But I don’t know of anyone who would fit that description.”

“I do,” Amelia said. “Mrs. Aarsen.”

Rebecca tried to think if she knew the woman. Seeing her confusion, Amelia explained. “She’s a dear Dutch woman who lost her husband a few years ago and her only son in the war. She lives on what’s left of their farm. She’s hardworking, practical and kind to the core.”

Pauline tapped her chin. “I wonder if she would agree.”

“She might be glad to be surrounded by a different kind of family.” Amelia appeared eager for the woman to be given a chance.

Pauline didn’t consider the idea long before she made up her mind. “Rebecca, why don’t you write a letter to tell her about the job and what it involves? Ask her if she’s interested. I’ll arrange for someone to deliver it to her while I’m at the store placing this order.”

Rebecca gladly took on the task. She’d done her job. Done herself out of a place in the community. The walls of the orphanage seemed to mock her. She couldn’t abide to stay in the building where all she had to do to see Colton was look out the window. Or look at signs of his workmanship and remember his strong hands doing the work, and the glory of the earlier days when they had worked side by side. “I’ll go to Holly’s for paper and ink.” She fairly flew down the street.

* * *

Colton tried to keep his attention on the construction of kitchen cupboards. The orphanage would soon be done. The orphans would be arriving. The community was prepared to welcome them. Amelia had determined to start a life for herself and Gabriel. Heidi would stay with her. Everything seemed to be falling into place.

He shifted his focus back to the shelf that would hold dishes. He should be happy, but instead, his insides twitched.

Why couldn’t he rejoice that they’d met every goal?

Because it wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted—

He drew up hard and stared into the empty cupboard, seeing nothing but the glaring truth in his heart.

He wanted Rebecca to stay. Wanted her in his home, caring for Heidi and more. So much more. He’d asked her to stay for the children’s sake, but now that excuse was gone. The only reason left was the echoing cry of his soul. He loved her, but he could not tell her so. Oh, he could ask her to stay, given any justifiable reason, such as the children, but he couldn’t bring himself to say he loved her.

He didn’t deserve love.

He didn’t deserve love because he’d caused pain for both his parents. Love did no harm. But was he responsible? Babies came when they came, sent by God. Accidents happened. Certainly he’d played a role in Pa’s accident, but ultimately, was he to blame?

He set his hammer aside and mumbled, “I got something to do.” With hurried feet, he fled the building, jogged across the street and found a bench sheltered by trees in the town square. He slumped to the wooden seat and buried his head in his hands.

Oh, God, help me sort this out
.

Colton sat back and stared at the leafy branches above his head.

His parents loved him. They’d never blamed him for their ill health, though Pa admitted that he thought Colton needed to take care of him out of guilt.

Guilt! Was he going to carry it the rest of his life? Let it steal the joys of the present?

Guilt was a heavy burden with harsh chains.

Love was a freeing joy. A gift from God. His for the choosing.

Oh, God, forgive me for letting guilt be my motivation when You offer forgiveness and so much more.

His life was a gift from God. As was the love he had for Rebecca. Time to tell her how he felt and give her a solid reason to stay in Evans Grove—or, more correctly, at the Hayes ranch.

Thank You, God
.

Grinning widely, he headed back to the orphanage.

He would declare his love for her. They would work things out.

He half stumbled. What if she didn’t share this wonderful, amazing feeling?

How could that be possible? The power of it should fill everyone in the world with a smile and a song.