Linda Ford (13 page)

As she turned to smile at the child, she glanced at Colton’s face. He was grinning. She didn’t pull away, allowing him to swim in her blue gaze.

“You seem wound a little too tight,” he murmured.

“I am not.” She jerked about to face forward. “Just excited.”

Was her excitement over the progress on the orphanage? Was she so anxious to go back to New York? His heart thudded to his boots. Why did it bother him so much that she meant to leave as soon as possible?

The next day was Sunday. They prepared to attend church as a family. Ma and Pa insisted on sitting in the back of the buggy. Heidi sat between Colton and Rebecca, baby Gabriel cradled in Rebecca’s arms.

Colton led his little family into church and positioned himself at Rebecca’s side. In case Gabriel needed attention, he told himself. But he could not control an impossible wish that this could be his life forever.

The service began. They sang several hymns. Colton could barely get the words past the tightness in his throat as Rebecca stood at his side, her clear, sweet voice weaving around him.

Then Reverend James Turner spoke. He used the verse “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” He went on to say that when God sent something into a person’s life, He provided that person with the strength and wisdom and grace to handle it.

The words went straight to Colton’s heart. He would neither shirk his responsibilities nor resent them. God would enable him to stand strong in spite of the longings of his heart.

* * *

The sermon had ignited dreams and wishes in Rebecca’s heart. Had she proven herself capable? She had done a number of hard things—caring for the orphan children on her own, supervising their placement, learning to run the ranch home, even helping construct the orphanage.
Thank You, God, for giving me the strength and the ability to learn
. But was it enough?

They arrived home. Gabriel fussed to be fed and she tended him. She noted Mr. Hayes’s interest. “Would you like to hold the baby?”

“I’d love to.” He beamed with pleasure.

“Pa.” Colton sprang forward. “Your arms. Your back.” He shot Rebecca a scolding look. “He can barely hold a cup of coffee.”

Pa shook his head. “I’m okay. I can hold the baby. Rest him in the crook of my arm. The arm of the chair will support him.”

Rebecca hesitated a moment, but she couldn’t resist the longing in Mr. Hayes’s eyes, and before Colton could intervene, Rebecca positioned the baby on the older man’s lap. She stood nearby in case he needed help. She had never imagined that a tiny baby could spread so much joy. She’d once thought that she and Oliver would have children. But she’d thought of them in the nursery, dressed in spotless white garments, paraded by the nurse. She’d never known the joy of holding a tiny baby and satisfying his basic needs.

She’d missed a lot in her upbringing.

Mr. Hayes rocked Gabriel gently, a smile driving away the pain lines in his face.

“There’s something special about a baby, isn’t there?” Rebecca asked. Not that she needed to point it out. Mr. Hayes couldn’t stop looking at Gabriel.

He sighed. “Indeed, there is. It’s been a long time since I’ve held a baby, hasn’t it, Mother?”

Rebecca couldn’t make sense of the older woman’s expression. Half disinterest, half smile. Then she scowled. “We’re too old for babies now.”

“Speak for yourself, woman. I’m looking forward to the day Colton here gives us grandchildren.” He studied Colton, then shifted his gaze toward Rebecca.

Ma grunted. “How’s he ever going to get married when he has us to look after?” She effectively stole the delight from the moment.

“Pa, you’re getting tired.” Colton took the baby. “You, little man, are certainly wide-awake.”

The baby smacked his lips.

Colton laughed. “Does that mean all you care about is your next meal?”

Mr. Hayes chuckled. “You betcha it does.”

Heidi leaned close. “He’s trying to figure out where his ma and pa are. Why would anyone abandon a little baby?”

Rebecca’s heart beat heavily at the sorrow in her voice. “I suspect there is a very good reason.”

“Mine died. That’s a good reason, I guess.”

Rebecca pulled the child to her lap. “It’s a terrible reason, but remember what I’ve said.”

Heidi nodded. “They would want me to be brave and cheerful.” She tried to smile, but it faltered.

Rebecca closed her arms about the little girl and pressed her cheek to Heidi’s head. “And you are. You’re like a little ray of sunshine.”

“A pretty bird,” Mr. Hayes said.

“A sweet rose,” Colton added.

Mrs. Hayes said nothing, but silence was better than stealing the moment from this innocent little girl who giggled at their comments.

Rebecca pulled the child close. “Heidi, sweet child, I believe God has a special plan for you. We just haven’t discovered it yet.”

Heidi brightened. “Does He really? And for Jakob, too?”

“Certainly.” Rebecca felt Colton’s warning gaze, but refused to acknowledge it. Yes, she was promising hope, even though she’d encountered nothing but dead ends in finding a home for this child. And there was still no word on her brother, Jakob.
Please, God, don’t disappoint this child
.

After the dishes were done, Colton said, “Would you like to go for a walk? It’s a beautiful day.”

Although she knew it was and longed to share it with him, she feared she wouldn’t be able to contain her feelings. But Gabriel slept with Heidi nearby. She could find no reason to say no. “A little walk would be nice.” But she would not let her emotions control her actions or words.

They went toward the barn. The mother cat sat in front of the doors, contentedly watching her four kittens tumbling about in play.

Colton paused to observe them. “Happy will soon be big enough to move into the house.”

“Heidi can hardly wait.”

He slowly turned to confront her. “How can you promise her a happy home?”

“I have to believe something will work out for her. If I can’t trust God to provide, then what’s the point in any of this?” She waved her hand around.

“You can walk away without any concern for her future.”

“That’s unfair. I’ll see that she is well cared for before I go.” Every word burned a hole through her heart, but she was bound by the rules of the Orphan Salvation Society and those of New York society. No matter what she wanted, she had to go home and do the job she’d been trained for. “My father expects me home.” Besides, she couldn’t stay here and keep hiding the truth that filled her heart. “I have duties at home.”

“Duties? Like ordering servants around?”

“That’s part of it.” She wouldn’t let the way he said the words make her feel as if she’d done something wrong. “I’ve been raised to run the Sterling mansion, to serve as hostess for my father. I love the mansion and my father and want to honor him by fulfilling my duty.” An honor, yes. Duty, too, and something more...or was it less? She felt as if the house, her position, her duty owned her.

He shifted and focused on the cows in the distant pasture, preventing her from gauging his reaction.

She turned toward the western sky and tried to concentrate on the scene before her. The sun was lowering, pastel-colored ribbons heralding the approaching sunset. A breeze tickled through the pasture, bringing the scent of grass and earth. Blackbirds danced above a hackberry tree.

“Why did you come west?”

His question surprised her. Made her forget all the wonderful things she’d been taking note of.

“Why, to help with the placement of the orphans.”

“But what about your duties back in New York? Aren’t you neglecting them?”

The cats joined them and he scooped up one of the black kittens and stroked its fur in slow, gentle movements that riveted her attention to his large hand. A hand that knew how to hold a baby. And how to run a ranch.

“I guess my father thought I was neglecting them already, so he suggested this trip might be just the thing to snap me out of my black mood, as he called it.”

“What caused your mood?”

She continued to stare at his hand stroking the kitten. Each movement eased a tightness in her heart. Suddenly she wanted to tell him about Oliver. “I was about to be married.”

His hand stilled. “You are?”

“Not any longer. Oliver, my former fiancé—” she’d never described him as that before and found the word freeing “—ran off with a seamstress five days before our wedding.” She gave a laugh that lacked any sound of mirth.

His big, gentle hand left the kitten. She followed its path as it moved toward her cheek. She sighed as he cupped her jaw gently and lifted her face upward.

Her gaze caught his—green, steady, full of sympathy and promise. She swallowed once. Promise of what? She wished she knew the answer.

He returned the kitten to the others, then straightened and faced her, only inches separating them. He caught her hands and brought them to his chest. “This Oliver does not sound like much of a bargain.”

She tried to nod. Tried to laugh. But although she found the truth of his words soothing, she could not get past the pain and humiliation of Oliver’s rejection.

He pulled her close, pressed her to his chest, his big, warm hands on her back. “He had no right to hurt you like that.”

She wanted to deny that she’d been hurt. Pretend it didn’t matter. But she couldn’t. Instead, she clung to him, shamelessly wrapping her arms about him. A steady, solid man. He eased her back enough to claim her mouth with his own.

She breathed in the scent of him. Wood and fire. Animals and flowers. Her surprise quickly gave way to awareness of his size. His strength. His gentleness in the way he offered a kiss but demanded nothing more.

Her pulse stuttered once, then jolted into a gallop.

She returned his kiss.

Oh, my. She understood that he only offered sympathy and understanding, but her heart took a whole lot more.

He was a man who knew what it meant to be faithful.

Not like Oliver.

He broke from their embrace, took her hand and led her back to the house.

Not until she crawled under the covers of her bed did she force her thoughts back to reality. He’d offered nothing more than the kiss. He’d only been swept up in concern about the pain Oliver had inflicted. She wasn’t foolish enough to think otherwise.

Chapter Twelve

C
olton couldn’t help himself. He repeated the excuse over and over again as they prepared to go to town the next morning. He’d been so moved by the misery in her expression that he simply couldn’t resist pulling her into his arms and kissing her. He wasn’t surprised at his actions. He’d considered doing so more than once. What surprised him was that she hadn’t slapped him and demanded he take her to town immediately.

She’d darted little glances at him over breakfast. He was at a loss to know if she was annoyed, angry or simply as confused as he was.

He knew they were worlds apart. A thirty-room mansion said it as clearly as anything. He didn’t need his ma’s reminder again this morning.

They said little as they drove to town. No need to with Heidi chattering away about her kitten.

He left them at Charlotte’s, fully expecting Rebecca to show up at the orphanage within an hour. When she didn’t, he told himself he was to blame.

He heard footsteps behind him and relief surged through him. Barely able to contain the grin curving his lips, he turned about.

Pauline and Curtis stood before him.

And at that moment, Rebecca joined them.

“We’ve called an emergency meeting tonight to discuss the orphanage,” Pauline said, sounding put out.

“What is left to discuss?” Rebecca asked, keeping her voice equally expressionless.

Colton wondered how much effort it required for her to speak so calmly and disguise her emotions so completely.

“Miss Ward has some concerns, some suggestions. She’s asked to present them to the town. I can’t refuse a legitimate request. I’m sorry.”

Neither Colton nor Rebecca uttered a word as the pair marched away.

Only when they were out of sight did he turn around. He saw nothing but determination in Rebecca’s gaze and swallowed his disappointment. What did he expect? That she would mention his kiss and say she’d enjoyed it? He needed to loosen his hat if he thought that would happen.

“What can Miss Ward do?” she said, sounding worried.

“I suspect that she can only make a lot of noise.”

His words did nothing to calm her. “I need to talk to Holly about this.” She hustled away.

He didn’t see her again until he picked her up to return home.

After supper, he announced, “Ma, Pa, there’s a meeting in town about the orphanage. I’m going back to it. Rebecca needs to be there. We’ll take the children.”

Heidi sighed.

Pa looked at the girl. “Why not leave Heidi here? She’s a handy little thing.”

Heidi perked up. “Can I stay? I’ll bring them coffee or water or whatever they need.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” He’d feel better knowing she was here. “Rebecca, what do you think?”

“She’s very good at being helpful.”

“I am.” Heidi bounced to her feet and began to gather up the dishes.

Rebecca followed suit.

“Now, wait a minute.” Colton held up a hand, stopping the frantic activity. “Heidi, you can help me, but, Rebecca, you made the meal. So I’ll do the dishes.” He felt Ma frowning at him, but he ignored her.

And Rebecca ignored him. “Nonsense. You were doing chores. We’ll clean up.”

“Miss Rebecca Sterling, I have never encountered anyone so determined to argue with everything as you.”

Pa chuckled. “You should have seen your ma when she was young and fiery.”

“I never was.”

“Oh, yes, you were. Remember the time I wanted to give you a ride home from the church social? You said you’d walk, thank you very much, and marched on ahead. I followed in the buggy all the way and you wouldn’t change your mind.”

Ma fluttered her hand. “You were a brash cowboy, too full of yourself for your own good.”

“And you were a spunky young thing, too proud to admit you liked me.” The way he looked at Ma, Colton knew he’d forgotten the rest of them. “I soon changed your mind.”

“I let you think so.”

Pa laughed. “Still got the spunk.”

Colton turned his attention to washing dishes. Spunk. Ted had said Rebecca had spunk. Not that Colton needed the man to point it out. But Ma and Pa’s circumstances were different. They had both grown up in a rural community and both were free to follow their hearts.

He, Colton Hayes, was not free, even if everything else about his and Rebecca’s situation was favorable.

“You trying to scrub off the pattern?” Rebecca took a plate from his hand and dried it.

“Just getting it clean,” he murmured. Just trying to keep his thoughts straight when all he could think of was the woman standing next to him.

When they finished the dishes, Rebecca prepared Gabriel for the trip and then they returned to town.

Rebecca was very quiet. He could feel her tension.

“I’m sure wisdom will prevail,” he said.

“I’m praying it will.”

“Me, too.” He uttered another silent prayer.

The meeting was at the town hall. As they stepped inside, he saw a large crowd already there and cradled Rebecca’s elbow to guide her to a seat, with Gabriel in her arms.

She leaned over to whisper in his ear, “I hope some of these people support the orphanage—otherwise, we’ll have a huge fight on our hands.”

Her breath tickled his cheek and distracted him until he couldn’t think.

“Are you worried?” she asked when he didn’t respond.

He jerked his attention back to the crowd and looked around, then whispered to her, “I know what a lot of them think, but there’s a goodly number I can’t speak for.”

She jerked around, her eyes wide and dark in the low lamplight. “Do you suppose Miss Ward has been recruiting supporters?”

“It’s possible.”

Pauline stood at the front. “The meeting will come to order.” Curtis and Beatrice sat at the head table with her. Colton thought Beatrice looked vengeful and victorious at the same time, and his spine tightened.

Pauline explained that there were concerns about the building currently being constructed for use as an orphanage. “I’ll let Beatrice explain what she has in mind.”

Miss Ward rose. She cleared her throat and smiled around the room.

Colton noticed that when her gaze reached Rebecca, the smile turned malicious. He squeezed his fists as his heart burned with a desire to protect the woman at his side.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Beatrice began, “we suffered a dreadful disaster when the dam broke and flooded our town months ago. But I think we’ve overlooked the opportunity this disaster has presented.”

There came a rumble of protests from those whose businesses and homes had been destroyed.

“I’m not making light of the damage done. My own home was also damaged, as you all know. But now we can take stock and decide what we want our town to be. Do we want it to be a shack town, with buildings hastily constructed, or do we want to turn this disaster into something good? This is our chance to bring in rules about construction. Rules stating that public buildings have to have character. Houses close to the town center have to meet certain standards. People, this is our chance to make our town noteworthy.” She went on to describe columns on buildings that spoke of power and majesty. Decorative trim on windows and rooflines. Buildings of brick and mortar that stood the test of time.

Colton wondered if she’d ever finish.

“In conclusion,” she said, “I beg you to consider making the most of this opportunity. Thank you.” She sat down, as smug as a queen on her throne.

Colton stared around the room. The woman had given a speech that sounded so reasonable, so right, that many nodded.

Rebecca grabbed his hand and hung on. He turned his palm to hers and squeezed encouragement.

She leaned over to whisper, “She makes this sound like it’s about making Evans Grove a better place, but really, it’s about stopping construction on the orphanage.”

He nodded. “Let’s wait to see what people say.”

Mr. Murdo, who had rebuilt his feed store since the flood, stood. “Ma’am?”

Pauline signaled for him to speak.

“I can’t afford to make my business fancy. I had to take out a loan to get it back into production as it was. I’m sure there are those in similar circumstances.”

Pauline nodded. “Duly noted.”

Several others spoke, some in agreement, others not seeing how Miss Ward’s concerns were practical.

“May I speak again?” Beatrice rose when Pauline recognized her. “I would suggest a compromise. Those who already had construction completed would be exempt from any changes, but any new construction must meet whatever requirements we decide upon.” She looked at Rebecca, her eyes narrow and mean.

At that point Colton knew for certain her plan was simply to stop the orphanage. Still, he held his peace, waiting for others to speak.

Ted Lang rose. “What you are suggesting is to stop construction on the orphanage. Is that correct?”

Colton squeezed Rebecca’s hand to signal his appreciation of Ted’s directness.

Pauline turned to Beatrice. “I think you should answer that.”

Colton thought Pauline sounded weary of this discussion. He knew her opinion. She favored the orphanage. Her only concern was in discovering who had supplied the funds.

This time Beatrice did not stand. “As it is now, the orphanage will not be an asset to our town. It will not add anything in the way of beauty or stature.”

An uproar ensued and Pauline banged her gavel to regain order.

Holly rose. “Miss Ward has been against the orphanage and the orphans from the beginning. This is nothing more than another attempt to exclude them from our community. I object to that. I doubt any of you are going to follow a plan for new construction should the town have one. How many are prepared to spend massive amounts on fancy buildings?”

A murmur of agreement rippled through the crowd.

The discussion raged until Curtis leaned over, gently touched the back of Pauline’s hand and spoke to her.

Colton took note of the touch, the way their gazes held each other. Humph. He was only seeing everyone through his own confused emotions. Pauline and Curtis had been at odds since the beginning.

Curtis rose. “I’ve asked permission to speak. Miss Ward—” he tipped his head toward the woman “—you make some valid points. Certainly buildings should be up to a certain standard. Not ramshackle or firetraps.”

Miss Ward fairly preened.

“However—” he turned back to the audience “—it is not fine, impressive buildings that make a town noteworthy. In my opinion, it is a welcoming attitude. A community of people caring about the good of all. If you don’t have that, beautiful buildings aren’t going to make the town appealing. But if you do, even simple buildings will be regarded with fondness if they’re solidly constructed and well maintained. From what I’ve seen of Evans Grove, you have a community spirit to be proud of. Don’t lose sight of that.”

He sat down, and Pauline gave him a look of approval.

Colton wondered if there was more to the look than appreciation for his words about the town.

Pauline turned to the audience. “I think we’ve heard from every point of view. It’s time to vote. Those in favor of continuing with the orphanage and putting aside creating rules for new construction, raise your hands.”

Rebecca squeezed Colton’s hand so hard his fingers would be numb when she released him.

Almost all those in attendance raised their hands.

“Opposed?”

Miss Ward shot her hand into the air. Colton counted only five others who sided with her,

“Majority rules,” Pauline said. “Continued construction on the orphanage is approved.” She sighed. “If anyone wishes to pursue some kind of building standard for the future, you’re welcome to present a formal plan to the town. Meeting adjourned.” She banged the gavel and rose.

Curtis took Pauline’s arm and escorted her out of the building.

Rebecca sighed so deeply that Colton knew she’d held her breath for a long time. She grinned at Colton. “She didn’t stop us.”

“She’s only one person.”

He took the baby, tucked Rebecca’s arm through his and they began their exit from the room. It took them a long time to reach the door, as person after person stopped them to say they were in favor of the orphanage. Why, then, hadn’t more of them shown up to help with the construction? Again, he wondered if they’d been put off by Beatrice’s campaign or were simply consumed with their own concerns.

Rebecca’s face glowed by the time they made it to the buggy. “I never knew people could be so supportive.”

“Like Curtis said, it’s what gives a community strength. People caring about the good of others as much as they care about themselves.”

He helped her into the buggy and handed her Gabriel. The little guy squirmed and snuffled. He’d soon need to be fed again.

As they drove home, he thought of how he’d described
community
. The same words could also describe
family
. Taking care of others, thinking of their needs. In his case, that meant taking care of his parents.

He would never regret his responsibilities, even if they left no room for anything else.

* * *

The next day was Saturday. The morning dawned clear and bright. Rebecca stretched and sighed. Her arms no longer hurt enough to make her teeth ache. And she quickly discovered she could feel quite normal while missing most of every second night’s sleep to care for Gabriel.

She had Colton to thank for that, though she could do without him pointing out at every opportunity that they’d agreed to share duties. She had grown to hate that word.
Duty
. A cold, unfeeling word. Why not say they were working together for the good of others, like a community? Or out of—

The right word stalled in her mind. She could not think it. Could not dream it.
Love
. Love had no place in their relationship, though two nights ago, as he had kissed her, she had allowed herself for one moment to think it was possible. He hadn’t even mentioned it. That was how important it had been to him.

She’d received a letter from her father, saying she should get on the train and return to New York and her duties there.
Duty
. There was that word again. But New York was where she belonged.