Lily White Lies (17 page)

I was fully aware of what she wanted to know, but didn’t want her to think that I was still thinking about Brian or today’s events.

“What do you mean?”

Cory broke in, “Meg.  C’mon, are you swinging from the singles limb or are you still tied to the tree?”

They each looked to me in anticipation.

“It’s over.  It wasn’t pretty but it could have been a lot uglier I guess.  I’m okay with it, really.”

Cory balled her hands into little fists and murmured, “Yes.”  Taking hold of my hands, she added, “Oh, Meg, you are
so
going to love this party.”

I couldn’t help but smile, my first genuine smile of the day. 

The ride to the airport went by quickly.  I gave Cory and Charlotte the condensed version of my goodbye with Brian and found myself growing eager for the party I had been dreading.  I had made my decision and carried it out.  Now it was time to move forward and I couldn’t think of a better place to start than a celebration in my honor.

Although a little early in the season for outdoor parties, this evening held promise for balmy temperatures and a cloud free sky.  The sun was still shining when we arrived at the SaSalle airport.  One by one, we stepped out of the limo onto the pavement of the airstrip.

Twelve white gazebos, strung with lights and flower vines dotted the grass to the left of the airstrip.  The gazebos were set up in a large circle, each housing a table and eight chairs.  There was a large four-sided bar with stools on every side in the center of the gazebo formation.

“Don’t get too worked up, there’s more.”  Taking hold of my arm, Cory said, “C’mon.”

I questioned Charlotte with my eyes, but all she offered in return was a wink and a smile, as they led me to one of the hangers.

My heart was racing in anticipation of what Cory and Charlotte had planned.  Eagerness and nervousness juxtaposed when Cory pulled on the handle of the hanger door and it slowly began to slide open.

As sunlight filled the inside of the hanger, I heard the word ‘surprise’ echo throughout the enormous, steel building.  Looking around I saw some of my closest friends, many women I hadn’t seen in ages and some faces I couldn’t recall ever seeing before.  I didn’t think I knew as many people as Cory had managed to get together for this night.  

We joined the women who had quietly waited for me to arrive and one by one, I welcomed them, thanked them for coming and apologized for the turn of events and the need to return gifts.  Cory and Charlotte had to save me several times by casually dropping the name of the person in front of me.  I felt a tap on the shoulder and turned to see whom it was.

“You never said you were coming!”

“Well, truth told, I wasn’t going to.  It should really be for all you young girls but once your friend told me that she ordered vodka especially for me... well, I had to seem grateful.  Besides, I had to see for myself exactly what a hunka-palooza was.”  Gram held up her glass as if to toast and then turned, quickly becoming lost in the sea of women whom were anxiously waiting for the party to begin.

“May I have your attention?”

Cory waited for the noise to die down before speaking again.

“May I have your attention please?”  When the hanger grew silent, she continued.  “First, I would like to thank you all for coming.  I know you were all expecting a bachelorette party and it still is... there just isn’t going to be a wedding.  I am sorry about the gifts but anyone having trouble returning them can see me and I will take care of it.”  The noise began to grow louder and Cory whistled in an attempt to regain the attention of her guests.  “We will have plenty of time to mingle and catch up later, but for now, I would like to ask you all to join me outside on the grass next to the gazebos.  Thank you.”

Many of the women began to whisper among themselves as they filed onto the grass.  No one seemed to know what was going on with the exception of Cory and Charlotte and they weren’t giving anything away.

Once everyone had made their way to the grass, Cory began to speak again, much louder than the last time in order to be heard over the roar of the plane overhead.

“I’ve asked you all to bring an umbrella and I’m sure you found that an unusual request.”  There was a lot of nodding and some murmuring between the women.  She continued, “Well ladies, it’s time to find out why.  I’d like to ask you to point them to the sky... because...  IT’S GOING TO START RAINING MEN!”

With that, she lifted her umbrella and each woman followed the invisible line between her umbrella and the plane that circled directly above.  Gasps and shrieks traveled throughout the crowd of women as someone jumped from the plane.  The skydiver appeared to be directly over us and as they approached, I could see that it was a man and he wasn’t wearing much more than his parachute.

I took hold of Charlotte’s arm to steady myself, and laughed out the words, “He’s almost naked, isn’t he?  Flying strippers?”

Charlotte laughed so hard, she doubled over.  When she had regained control, she answered, “I promised no male strippers but I never said anything about nearly naked skydivers.”

We all laughed, and Cory confessed, “They aren’t really naked—not that that would have been a bad idea, but my father said there’s, like, some kind of law or something making it illegal.”

By this time, several more men had jumped from the plane and the women on the ground were going wild.  The screams grew increasingly louder as the first diver landed on the pavement no more than twenty feet from us.  He was wearing a parachute, a white muscle shirt and a neon green G-string that left little to the imagination.

Gram worked her way through the mass of excited women.  Finally reaching us, she chided, “Do you think I could get your grandfather to dress like that?”

“Gram!”

We continued to watch as one after another, men in neon G-strings landed in roughly the same area.  Each one was better looking than the last and I was wondering how many more divers it would take before Cory’s invited guests began a riot.

Things were getting pretty heated when divers in black G-strings and muscle shirts began to land on the airstrip in front of us.  The screams coming from the women drowned out the sound of the plane circling above.

In all, eight neon and five black G-strings had landed before the plane flew out of sight.  All thirteen men had disappeared into the hanger, leaving the women to ask in unison about their return.

“They will be back ladies, I promise.  How about we all take our seats in the gazebos—it’s almost time for the meal.”

While women slowly made their way to their seats, I used the time to thank Cory and Charlotte for being Cory and Charlotte.

“You know, I had reservations...  I mean, I didn’t think I’d really be in the mood for all this, but I have to tell you, this is great—unbelievable.  I’ve never seen anything like it and I just wanted to say thanks—for everything.  If it weren’t for you guys, I’d probably be sitting at home, stuffing my face with Chinese take-out, crying in my lo mien... yada, yada.”

“What kind of friends would we be if we let you drown in your lo mien.  But, don’t thank us yet.  The best is yet to come.”

Cory’s last remark sent an unexplainable chill up my spine.  Charlotte leaned in to give us each a hug, and said, “C’mon, let’s go join the party.”

Charlotte and I exchanged how-have-you-beens with several women I hadn’t seen in ages as we made our way to our seats, while Cory stood next to the bar in the middle of the gazebos. 

“Ladies...”  She turned as she waited for their attention.

“Ladies, ears up here...  I would like to introduce you to your waiter’s for the evening...”  She motioned toward the hanger and we watched as one of the scantily clad men emerged from inside.

“Meet Philippe, born in Rio, aspires to be the leading man in your romance novel.”

Hoots and hollers bellowed among the crowd of women.

“Next, please welcome Santiago, born in Mexico and looking to linger on the border.”

Philippe approached me, leaning over the table to place a kiss on my cheek, as Santiago followed closely behind.  Cory waited for the buzz between women to die down, before continuing.

“Next, I’d like you to meet Antonio...”

I watched as the women around us went wild, and silently wondered just how long it had been since they’d seen a man.  I felt like I was sitting in the middle of Fluvanna on a conjugal visit day.  I spotted a once shy girl from college in the gazebo directly across from me and she was making lewd gestures like the ones I’d seen Brian and his friends make at different women on television.

I turned to Charlotte and said, “You may have to hose them down before the nights over.”

She patted my hand, and said, “Enjoy yourself.  Just remember, we wouldn’t have done what we did if we didn’t love you.”

I gave her hand a squeeze and turned my attention back to Cory who was trying to shout above the racket the women were making.

“Meet Pierre, if you say jump—he’ll ask who.”

I heard, “Me!  Jump me!” coming from someone on the other side of the gazebos, followed by more laughter.

One by one, each man approached me, and placed a kiss on my cheek.  Some ran a hand through my hair and others caressed my face.  They were all so handsome and muscular and each one smelled like the men’s counter at Neiman Marcus.  When the last one had kissed me, they spread out and began taking drink orders while Cory began to introduce the men in black G-strings.

“I am pleased to announce that we will enjoy live entertainment this evening.  Put your hands together for Rocco, Diesel, Jacko, Bronco and Roy, original members of Roy Boy and the G-Notes!”

The first round of drinks had yet to be delivered, and already these women were acting as if they had had too many.  They were waving dollar bills in the air and screaming come-ons like, ‘Can I play your instrument’. 

Cory re-joined us at the table and looking me square in the eyes, said, “Meg, I hope this isn’t too over the top for you.  Coming out of this thing with Brian... well, I just hope this isn’t too much.”

“This is just what I needed.”

The waiter in the neon blue G-string began to set our drinks in front of us.  Running a hand down his back, Cory winked and whispered, ‘Don’t get too attached to this one’ before returning to her position by the bar.

“Ladies, if I can have your attention again... if you’ll notice, you each have an index card with the colors of the waiters G-strings listed.  While the waiters are serving your drinks, I’d like you to write their names next to their corresponding colors.  This is to test whether or not you even looked at their faces as they were being introduced.”

“If I knew there was going to be a test, I would have studied the material harder,” yelled an unfamiliar woman in the gazebo to my right.

Offering a smile but ignoring the remark, Cory continued, “The one who lists the most correct names, wins a date with the color of her choice...”  Her tone became very flirty, as she added, “As long as it’s not blue—he’s mine.”

Seriousness came over the faces of most of the women as they eyed each waiter and made their guesses.  Cory collected the cards as they were completed, placing them at her seat.  She leaned over once, and whispered, “Like, where can you find a party with better door prizes?  You tell me.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.  Movement by the hanger caught my eye and left my open mouth at a loss for words.  The sun, half buried behind a far-off hill, didn’t shed enough light on the person for me to see any detail, but there was something vaguely familiar drawing me in.  As I studied the male form, Cory and Charlotte followed my stare.

With a crafty smile, Cory announced, “Look Meg, it appears your door prize is here.”

My attention now on Cory, I asked, “Door prize... what... you got me a date?”

She shrugged innocently.  “You and Brian split.  Consider this your parting gift.”

Charlotte interrupted, “Meg, remember last week when we watched that old college movie?”  She continued without my answer.  “Do you remember your answer to ‘I want’?  Well, here’s your chance to be totally outrageous.”  She nudged my arm.  “Shaming your family is completely optional.”

Cory said, “I tried to find a man who was more ‘able’ than anyone you’ve ever known and this is the one I came up with.”  Eyeing him up, she added, “I think you’ll be pleased.”

As he approached, I recognized him as the waiter from Sal Latinos.  I’m not sure, but I think my mouth hung open for several seconds, before I blurted, “Its Popeye!”

Cory spoke with confidence.  “Desirable, excitable, wantable, and of course, the obvious ‘able’ I mentioned at the café—like, the perfect man to rebound with.”

“Oh my God you guys.  I was tongue-tied when I saw him at the café, how the hell am I supposed to talk to...”  I instinctively covered my face with my hands.  “Christ, he’s coming this way.”

I wanted to dive under a table or drown in my screwdriver, but instead, I downed it and motioned to our waiter for another.

Charlotte laughed, “Take it easy, Meg.  We’re only teasing you.  He isn’t here as your escort...” she hesitated, “...exactly.”

Cory gave Charlotte a fixed stare, and quickly said, “He’s like, a supervisor... yeah, that’s right, he supervises the waiters... he works at the same agency.”