Lights and Shadows (Oregon In Love) (24 page)

After several miles, Julia’s anger began to subside.
Perhaps she
could’ve
been a risk to others drivers. She shot
a furtive glance at Marc and bit her lip. The fact he was close
enough to touch unnerved her. A residual dizziness continued to
plague her, so she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against
the seat.

Unfortunately, without the distraction of the passing
scenery, her mind drifted to other times with Marc. When driving, he
always held her hand. Now his hands were both firmly on the steering
wheel. The knowledge sent a new fissure through her heart.
Stop
thinking about him! As soon as his Good Samaritan deed is done, he’ll
be out of your life for good.
Fresh despair welled up within her
at the notion.

An hour later, they arrived at the B & B. Marc, deaf
to Julia’s protestations, helped her from the car and into the
cottage. They stood in the tiny kitchen area, silence stretching
between them.

Still feeling the imprint of his hand on her arm, she
swallowed back the urge to cry. “How will you get home?”

“
If you must know, I called a cab before I left the
school.”

“
That will cost a fortune! At least let me pay the
fare.”

“
Keep your money,” he snapped. “And stop being so
stubborn. You need to rest!”

Julia took umbrage at his tone, but saw tenderness in
his eyes. She lowered her gaze, holding her hands at her sides to
keep from reaching out to him. “Thank you for your help.”

“
That’s more like it,” he said softly as a yellow
taxicab drove up. Marc regarded her for a moment, then left the
cottage and walked to the cab. He got in and was gone.

A myriad of thoughts went through her mind as she stared
out the window—regrets, hopes, wishes, anguish—

Suddenly a white-hot pain ripped through her head,
knocking her off-balance. Julia grabbed hold of the back of a chair
in an effort to remain upright. Her vision blurred as she turned and
stumbled into the bedroom. She yanked open the drawer of the
nightstand with clumsy fingers, trying to find an amber bottle with a
specific label. Medical jargon—and her surroundings—became hazy.
She squinted at the label of one bottle.

With her last shred of strength, she grappled with the
child-proof cap...before everything went dark.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Brian and Sara pulled into the driveway, parking next to
Julia’s black Camry.

“
Looks like your sister is home early,” Sara said.

“
That’s a switch,” Brian said cynically.

She put a hand on his arm. “Try to be more
understanding, honey. She’s going through a lot right now. And
what’s happened between her and Marc hasn’t helped any.”

Sighing, he got out of the car. “Who knows. Maybe
something will eventually work out between them.”

Sara carefully removed Alan from his car seat and
snuggled him in her arms. “I’m going over to ask if she’ll have
dinner with us. I’m worried she’s not taking care of herself.”

Brian shrugged. “She always was a scrawny little
thing, but go ahead and ask her. And tell her we won’t take no for
an answer.”

Sara walked over to the cottage and knocked on the door.
When there was no response, she peeked in the window. “Brian! Come
here quick!”

He ran over and pushed open the door. They both rushed
inside, finding Julia sprawled across the bed, her body sprinkled
with little white pills. One hand still held a medication bottle.

“
Call an ambulance, Sara!”

She started for the door as Brian took the bottle from
Julia’s hand. Before he could feel for a pulse, Julia groaned and
reached for her head.

“
Wait a minute, she’s waking up.” He tugged on his
sister’s hand. “Julia, tell me what’s wrong! Did you take any
pills?”

“
It hurts,” Julia whispered thickly.

“
What hurts?”

Rubbing her eyes and head, her voice came out sounding
weak. “I can’t think.”

“
Julia, you need to answer me. Did you take any of
these pills?”

Sara pulled Alan more tightly against her chest when he
began to whimper. “Do you still want me to call for an ambulance?”

Julia slowly sat up, going white with the effort. “No
doctors,” she pleaded. “Just give me a minute. I’ll be fine.”
Giving lie to her words, she collapsed against the pillows.

“
Julia, you need to talk to me and tell me what’s
the matter.”

She covered her eyes with her hands. “My head feels
like it’s going to explode. I think it’s a migraine.”

“
Is that why you took the pills?” Brian asked.

Easing one eye open, then wincing at the light, she
sighed. “What does the label say?”

Brian turned the bottle. “Fiorinal. Did you take any?”

“
I don’t remember. I couldn’t get the cap off.”

“
You got the cap off, Julia. They’re everywhere.”
He sighed heavily and looked over at Sara. “Call our family doctor
and tell him we need to bring in my sister.”

Eyes wide, Sara nodded and hurried out the door.

“
No doctors!”

“
You don’t have a choice. Can you walk?”

“
Of course I can walk!” But when she tried to stand,
she landed back on the edge of the bed.

Brian leaned over to help her and spotted the contents
of the nightstand drawer. “What in the world is all this?” He
scooped up four orange bottles, each with a different label. “Why
didn’t you tell me you were on medication?”

“
Because I’m not,” Julia retorted, then regretted
raising her voice. The sound of it ricocheted in her skull.

“
Then what is all this for?”

She waved her hand dismissively. “You know doctors,
they just throw a prescription at you to get rid of you. My secretary
at the firm had them filled against my wishes.”

“
What is it for?” Brian asked grimly.

“
Headaches mostly,” she said. “One may be for my
heart, but I can’t remember.”

“
Your
heart?
” Brian howled. “For crying out
loud, Julia! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“
I told you I’m fine. I only wanted a pill for my
headache since the Tylenol wasn’t helping.”

Sara returned and poked her head in the door. “They
said they’ll give us the last appointment, but we need to hurry.”

Julia began to protest, but Brian calmly picked her up
and headed toward his truck. “We’ll be back soon,” he said to
Sara.

***

Julia sat seething on the edge of an examination table
at the doctor’s office. She’d refused to put on the paper thin
smock the nurse had left for her. Having to give a urine sample was
humiliating enough. She still was of half a mind to walk out of the
room.

The door opened. A burly man with gray, shaggy eyebrows
came in wearing bifocals and a white coat. “Hello,” he said in a
bluff manner. “I’m Dr. Granger.” He briskly shook Julia’s
hand before settling onto a stool and perusing the information taken
down by the nurse earlier. “Your brother tells me he found you
unconscious,” he said finally.

Julia nodded, deeply resenting the intrusion into her
life.

“
He also said you have some medications with you. May
I see them, please?”

Retrieving a small sack from her purse, she handed it to
the doctor. He pulled out each bottle and studied the labels with his
head tilted back.

“
Headaches? Migraines?”

“
Yes.”

“
Heart palpitations?”

“
Sometimes.”

“
How many of each have you taken?”

“
None.”

“
Why not?”

“
Because...I don’t want to.”

Dr. Granger peered at her over the top of his glasses.
“I need to examine you so I’ll let you have a minute to change
into the gown the nurse laid out for you.”

“
The gown won’t be necessary.” She slid her jacket
off, revealing her sleeveless dress beneath.

The doctor seemed unperturbed. She took a deep breath,
striving to be civil. He stood and put his stethoscope in his ears.
Julia had to unzip the back of her dress to give him access to her
back and chest and wondered if the gown would’ve been a better idea
after all. She inhaled and exhaled on command while he listened to
her lungs and heart, followed by him waving a lighted pen around her
face.

“
Tell me about your symptoms.”

Julia sighed. “Mostly just headaches. Sometimes I have
dizzy spells and get nauseated.”

“
How often do you lose consciousness?”

“
Almost never. I skipped a couple of meals today, so I
may have been light-headed due to that.”

“
Why do you skip meals?”

“
Because I can’t always exercise, plus I’m very
busy.”

“
When is the last time you had a period?”

Julia flushed. She wanted to tell him to mind his own
business. “It’s been a few months, I think.”

“
Are you pregnant?”

“
No, I usually have irregular cycles.”

“
You sure you’re not pregnant?”

“
Of course I’m sure!” she grated. “I practice
this novel form of birth control called abstinence.”

There was a quick knock on the door and the nurse peeked
in. “The pregnancy test was negative,” she said brightly.

Julia gritted her teeth and silently counted to ten. Dr.
Granger indicated his examination was over and she quickly zipped up
her dress. His interrogation, however continued. He asked about her
car accident, her recovery and all manner of nosy questions about her
lifestyle and work habits. By the time he finished, a fresh headache
throbbed at Julia’s temples.

The doctor scribbled on her chart for a bit, then leaned
forward on his stool, his hands braced on his knees. “When I leave,
the nurse will be in to draw some blood and I’m going to refer you
for a CAT scan to rule out any brain problems that might be
responsible for your headaches. But I’m going to tell you what I’m
sure we’ll find.”

He took off his glasses and gave her a hard look. Julia
shrank back slightly by the intensity of his expression.

“
You have walking-pneumonia and you’re almost
certainly anemic. You’re not on the brink of exhaustion, you’re
over the cliff. Today I had to tell a patient younger than you that
she needed to make an appointment with an oncologist. She has maybe
six months left to live. All her life she’s been healthy and has
taken excellent care of herself. You, on the other hand, have been
foolishly neglecting your health. People like you make a mockery of
those who have no hope.”

He sighed. “Now, I strongly suggest you take a
doctor’s advice for once. Go home and go straight to bed. Stay
there for two weeks. Take vitamins along with the antibiotics I’m
prescribing and eat like a normal human being. My nurse will call you
with your test results and set up your appointment with a
radiologist. Any questions?”

Julia shook her head. When he left the room, she
swallowed hard. She wanted to tell herself the doctor had no right to
speak to her like that, but she knew she deserved the chastisement.
Julia sat submissively when the nurse came in and jammed a needle in
her arm. Finally, when the appointment ended, she slid from the table
and joined Brian in the waiting room.

***

On the way home, Julia was acutely aware of her
brother’s scrutiny. She gave him only the basics about her
appointment, omitting the doctor’s tirade—mostly because she
figured Brian would agree.

“
I thought you tried to kill yourself,” he said
finally, a muscle twitching in his jaw.

Julia turned and stared. “
What?
”

“
When we found you with the pills everywhere...I
thought you had attempted suicide. I’ve never been so scared in my
life!”

“
That’s absurd,” she flashed. “You should’ve
known better than to think that!”

They stopped at a red light and Brian pinned her with a
quelling look. “You’ve been moping around for the last several
weeks.”

“
I have not been moping!”

“
Julia, admit it. You’ve been on self-destruct for a
long time now.”

“
That’s ridiculous.”

He snorted. “You need to slow down. Why are you
beating yourself up?”

“
I have a job to do like everyone else.”

“
You weren’t supposed to have a job while you were
here, Julia. You came to Oregon to take a break, remember? What’s
it going to take for you to figure that out?”

“
I already got this lecture at the clinic.”

“
Did it sink in? Or are you just going to ignore
another doctor?”

She put up a hand. “Please. I’m just so tired. I can
barely think straight anymore.”

Brian remained silent for several minutes. But as they
neared the B & B, he released a haggard sigh. “I know you’re
a driven person, Julia. And I know what drives you.”