Light Unshaken (Unveiled #2) (5 page)

chapter seven

Unguarded

A twenty-minute drive with Riley to the airport wasn’t long enough. Parked alongside the drop-off curb, he curled my fingers around the keys he placed in my hand, smiled, and opened his door.

I circled to the back of the car and laughed the second I reached the trunk. The bags he’d packed to move all the way across the country for four months were the same amount Jaycee would’ve packed for a four-day weekend getaway.

He set a large duffle bag on the curb, propped his guitar case against the bumper, and tossed a carry-on bag over his shoulder.

His friend Jackson parked behind us and pulled Jake’s kennel off the bed of his Tundra. “Should I take him up to the check-in?”

Riley nodded. “Thanks, man. Be there in a minute.”

I rocked on my heels. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?”

His face creased. “Saying goodbye right here is hard enough.” He kissed my fingertips and lowered my hand to his chest. “You hold my heart, Em. Promise me you’ll always trust this. No matter what.”

The urgency in his voice overpowered the jets’ engines in the background. Didn’t he know his love was the only thing I
did
trust? “Always.”

Arm at his side, he dropped his bag to the ground and lifted a hand to my neck. It didn’t matter that his fingers had touched the skin behind my ear a hundred times, my breath still caught. I backed into the side of the car, but it was the promise in his eyes that anchored me.

An unguarded kiss deepened, then slowed. He held me tight, his whiskers pressing against my hair. His lips hovered over my forehead a minute longer. “I love you.”

I gripped his sleeve for balance under a torrent of feelings no words could touch. “I love you too.”

Still holding my cheek, he kissed the corner of my mouth once more before releasing me. He shouldered his bags, smiled with his eyes, and turned to the airport.

I stood on that sidewalk with empty arms and watched the distance stretch between us.

He stopped at the entrance. “Meet me on our dance floor. I’ll be the one waiting to sweep my barefoot beauty off her feet.”

“And I’ll be the one trying not to trip.” I laughed to stave off my tears.

Experience told me seeing Riley in my dreams would almost be as good as seeing him in person. If dreams were all we had, they’d have to be enough.

He disappeared behind the mirrored door, and something inside me closed. In the middle of a busy drop-off zone, with people buzzing by in all directions, I shouldn’t have felt so alone.

I lumbered into Riley’s car, clenched the keys in my hand, and faced the rearview mirror. “How about you start with making it through today?”

With a little coaxing, time graciously agreed to pass. Until the night ushered in a wave of restlessness. Fourteen hours of staying preoccupied between work and classes had apparently drained the power of distraction dry. The familiar felt stilted, my routine out of sync.

The movie Trevor and Jaycee were watching in the living room hadn’t kept my attention. Studying hadn’t helped. And my rearranged dresser drawers were all but laughing at me. Could I blame them?

I crashed headfirst onto my bed. Halfway into smacking some sense into my head with my pillow, a glorious sound filled my room. For a second, everything else stopped. I bolted from my prostrate position and floundered through the yards of blankets in search of my cell. A dozen highlighters rolled off the mattress onto the floor.

“Hey,” I breathed into the phone now attached to my ear.

“It’s kinda late to be working out.”

“No, I was just . . . um . . . trying to get to the phone.” I wrenched a textbook out from under my back and sank my forehead into my hand. So much for avoiding embarrassment.

But unlike Trevor would’ve, Riley skipped over the opportunity to tease me. “I’m sorry I’m just now calling. I sort of hit the ground running as soon as I got off the plane. They don’t waste any time getting you acclimated, which is great. Don’t get me wrong. Just a bit overwhelming.”

He had to be tired, yet his animated tone eclipsed the exhaustion I expected to hear.

“Oh, and get this. Brett called during my layover in Chicago. Told me he found a girl interested in being my manager. When I got to the studio today, she was already there waiting to meet me. Can you believe that? She said she knew potential when she heard it.” A self-conscious laugh merged into an exhale.

“Of course she did. Just like every other raving fan will.”

“So you keep saying.”

We’d save that argument for another time. “Okay, so where’s my play-by-play?”

Barely taking a breath, he filled me in on the studio, the people he’d met so far, and how demanding his schedule was going to be.

“I had no idea how much was involved in recording an album,” he went on. “I’m starting to wonder if we’re going to be able to pull this off in only four months.”

What?
The statement caught me in the gut. Neither of us had money to fly and see each other if this ran longer. He couldn’t be talking about an extension already.

Riley must’ve missed my reaction. Either that or was trying to divert it. “They have me staying in a one-bedroom condo less than a mile from the studio. There’s a park right across the street from the neighborhood. Jake’s gonna love the trail around the lake.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Almost. Wouldn’t mind having this girl I’m in love with here with me.”

I slipped one leg out from under the other. “Then who’d take care of your car?”

He laughed. “You kidding me? I’d have that thing impounded in a second in a tradeoff for you.”

Unsolicited emotion trekked up my throat. I shoved it down, straightened my blankets. “Tell me about the music industry.”

“Oh, man. I’m stoked about that part the most. I couldn’t have asked for a more networked manager. She knows everyone. Has connections I couldn’t dream of making on my own. And she already has amazing ideas for the album.”

“That’s really great. I’m so happy for you.” I was. Genuinely. Despite a pang of reservation weaseling itself through my ribcage.

“I’m sorry,” he said out of nowhere.

“For what?”

“For how hard this is.”

I hugged my leg to my chest and set my chin on my knee. “I’m fine.”

He paused, and I could almost see the slow blink lifting his eyes to mine. “I’ve spent months falling in love with everything about you. I know your voice better than my own.”

And my heart. Even when I tried to guard it. “I just miss you already.”

“I miss you too. It’s killing me not being there right now, but we can make it through this.” An audible smile filled his voice. “My valiant fiancée, remember?”

“So you keep saying.”

“
Touché
.”
His laugh cuddled me in place of his arms. “Are you in bed right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Close your eyes.”

I sat up on my elbows. “Why?”

“Just close your eyes,” he nudged again.

My lashes fell in submission.

“Picture us on the sports field. No one else is around. It’s just us, the empty field, stars above us. You there?”

I sank into the mattress, memories blanketed around me. Even in a daydream, the look of love his eyes always held found mine. “Yes.”

“Dance with me,” he whispered.

Drawing on our last night together, I danced in a world where music hung between us instead of miles. Minutes waned as he sang, but I hung on.

“I should let you get some sleep,” he said.

“No, don’t go . . . please.” Even if it didn’t mean the same thing as when he was here physically, I needed him to stay.

The streetlight outside my bedroom window buzzed in the silence. “Riley?”

“I’m here,” he said softly.

I rolled onto my side and ran my fingers down the beams of moonlight draped across the blanket. “Will you keep singing for me?”

Another pause.

“Just until you fall asleep.”

He must’ve put me on speakerphone. His guitar’s soft cadence strummed into my bedroom with the song he sang for me the night he proposed. “Whose eyes are these, searching helplessly for joy? Eyes that stir a forgotten desire and unveil a hidden void?

“How do they awaken things, things I thought I’d lost? And revive my fragile hope in a love worth the cost?

“Why is it a mystery to me? Why does it have to be? I wonder if she sees what I see—this hidden treasure, whose eyes unveil me. If she could only see what I see.”

One with the music, his voice led me into a dream where I never had to let it go.

chapter eight

Precautionary

I checked my cell while pushing open the door to the campus center. Three-thirty on the dot. Props to Professor Clarke for actually letting our business statistics class out on time this week. I wasn’t up for spending another Wednesday drive into Portland, trying to dodge a speeding ticket. Even though Trey gave me grace, I preferred not to rush.

At the row of mailboxes, I did a double take inside my mail slot and caught my name written in Riley’s handwriting on a folded piece of paper, taped shut.

So, this was what he dropped off in the mail the night before he left. Figures he knew it’d take me almost three weeks to check my mail. I pored over the short letter, devouring every word until my eyes latched onto one sentence that stood out from the others.

Remember, you’re braver than you think you are.

Shaking my head, I smiled.
Think so, huh?
I held the letter beside my best “brave” face, snapped a picture with my cell, and pulled up Instagram.

A photo on Riley’s account stopped me short. An unfairly sexy blonde had her arm around his neck, a champagne glass in one hand and what looked like some kind of contract in the other.
Who—?

“Emma,” someone called from down the hallway.

I stuffed my phone in my pocket, along with my unanswered question, and turned toward the familiar voice.

A. J. stopped a few feet away at an invisible boundary line and stared at the wall of mailboxes as if inspecting some unknown building code.

If whatever he’d caught up with me to say was going to be as uncomfortable as he appeared, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

My clasp tightened around Riley’s note. Maybe osmosis would spark the bravery he seemed to think I had.

A. J. shifted his book bag strap up to the top of his shoulder. “Trev told me about the coaching position you guys have open at the center. I met with Dean Sullivan about it. Since it’d be working with kids and sports, he said it could pass as a practicum.”

My keys hit the tiles. I scrambled to swipe them from the floor without making my reaction any more obvious. Right.

At least he ignored it. He took off his Trailblazers ball cap, forked his fingers through his hair, and slid the hat back on. “I figured I could at least go up one afternoon and check it out. It’s not like I’d have to make a commitment today or anything, right?”

I blinked, waiting for my brain to catch up to the conversation. “Yeah,” I finally said. “You can come out and spend some time with the kids. No strings attached. I promise you won’t be disappointed. You’ll end up receiving way more than you give.”

That truth hit me square in the chest the second it left my mouth. “It’s not really something I can explain.”

“I think I know what you mean.” A. J. picked at a chip of flaking paint on the wall beside him. “Since I’m done with classes for the day, I was thinking maybe this afternoon would be a good time to go.”

If his fingers weren’t boring a hole into the mailboxes, his eyes certainly were. Was he waiting for my permission? Even after the summer, I wasn’t used to seeing him this way. Hesitant. Unsure. It didn’t fit the A. J. I knew.

I fiddled with my keys. “Um, today would be great. I’ll call Trey and let him know you’ll be by at some point. I’d offer you a ride, but Wednesdays are the nights I work ‘til nine. Doubt you’d want to stick around that late.”

“Yeah, yeah, no problem. I’ll just, uh, see you later, then.” He shuffled backward without glancing at me for longer than a second or two at a time. A short distance away, he turned and jogged through the crowd toward the gym.

Did anyone else notice how awkward that was? See, this was why I hadn’t asked him about the job to begin with. He’d make the perfect coach. The kids would adore him. No question. And a sports program might up the chances of us getting funding. But would the strain between us be too much?

I held on to Riley’s note and his belief in me.
Guess we’re about to find out how brave I am.
Speaking of which. I shot him a quick text on my way outside. Was that his manager in the picture with him?

It wasn’t that long of a walk back to my apartment. Still, I’d checked my phone for a reply five times before reaching my door. Where was he?

I toed off my shoes by the heels and hung up my keys. Jaycee sprinted down the hall, muttering to herself the way she did when she was on a mission. I followed her into our room. A sweater sailed from the closet and landed on the corner of her mattress beside an overflowing suitcase.

“Jae? What’s going on?”

She peeked out from behind the closet door. “Oh, sorry, Em. I’m not ignoring you, promise. I’m just trying to make sure I don’t forget anything.” She pushed her hair off her face and left her hand on her forehead. “If I get stuck in rush hour traffic, I’m gonna kill Professor Greaves for keeping us late today.”

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with professor problems.

“I thought you weren’t going home until Friday?”

She rolled up a pair of jeans and stuffed them inside the perimeter of her bag. “My dad called. Said Mom’s been sick for the last week. I thought I better go home a few days early to help get everything ready for Saturday.”

She held a black cocktail dress in front of her to examine it with her fashion meter, no doubt. “Sweet Sixteen parties are kind of a big deal at my house. I know it’s killing my mom not to be at her best.”

“Well, don’t stress. You’re the queen of planning parties. Everything will turn out perfectly. Mandy’s gonna love it.”

She stopped midstream in one of her trips between her dresser and suitcase with a pair of sparkly heels dangling from her fingers. Her restless expression yielded to a smile. “Thanks.”

I flopped onto my bed while she assembled sets of earrings and necklaces to go with each of her outfits. “Is Trevor going with you?”

“He’s coming down after class on Friday. So, he’ll make the party, at least.” She jumped on top of her suitcase to force it to close all the way. “You sure you’ll be okay while I’m gone?”

“What will I do without my mom-away-from-home?”

She tossed her pillow at me.

“I’ll be fine, Jae. I have three classes plus my internship. Think I should be able to keep myself busy.”

A
ding
lit up my cell with Riley’s delayed text.

Booked all day. Will call at nine.

I folded the pillow under my arms. Sometimes staying busy didn’t help.

Hands hovering over her bags, Jaycee gave her packing job one last assessment. “You should invite Becky and Ashlea over one night if you get bored.”

We looked at each other for a split second before busting out laughing.

“Okay, maybe not Ashlea,” she said. “But, seriously, call me or Trev if you need anything. We won’t be that far away.”

“Stop worrying. Have a great time with your family. Give your parents hugs for me, and tell that baby sister of yours to stop growing up so fast.”

“Right?” She slid her arm through her toiletry bag straps and sat beside me. “We’re getting old, Em. It’s sad but true.”

My forehead wrinkled in a mirror reflection of hers. “You better drive in the slow lane, then. You know how impatient people can get behind elderly drivers.”

She shoved me off the edge of the bed.

I lugged her oversized suitcase down the stairwell, each drop onto the next stair louder than the last. The thing weighed a ton. “You sure you’re coming back?”

“If I weren’t, you’d be carrying a lot more than one suitcase right now.”

We reached the curb the same time as Trevor.

“Hey, Em, you gonna be okay with your partner in crime missing?” He toyed with the top corner of Jaycee’s jeans. “There’s no permanent damage, right? I mean, it had to be painful separating two people attached at the hip.”

Our synchronized eye rolling perpetuated his amusement.

“You know, Trev, I had the strangest notion the other day that maybe by senior year that joke would get old.”

His mischievous grin ruled out that possibility. “You could use a little humor in your life.”

I replicated his grin. “That
is
why I keep you around.”

Ignoring my sarcasm, he whisked Jaycee into his arms. “I’m good for a few things.”

Oh, brother. Jaycee giggled, and I took my cue.

I could only handle seeing so much affection before I had to excuse myself from the premises.

“Have a great time, Jae. Drive safely.” I waved goodbye and headed back up the walkway to our apartment.

“Oh, Em,” she called. “I left you something in the bathroom. A little precautionary measure. You know, to keep you focused.”

No telling what that meant. Did I want to know?

Curiosity got the best of me. With only a few minutes before I had to leave, I stopped in the bathroom. A train of colored sticky notes lined the right-hand edge of the mirror, one underneath the other.
YOUR DAILY PEP TALK
, the first one read in all caps, followed by smaller print underneath it.

Read out loud
:

I am courageous.

I am not alone.

I am loved.

I will make it through.

Leave it to Jaycee to make me laugh while getting teary-eyed at the same time. Precautionary measures? I shook my head but couldn’t blame her for being on guard after my brief exile into depression last year.

Following her instructions, I repeated each declaration out loud on my drive in to work. As ridiculous as I probably looked and sounded, professing the words made them a little easier to believe. At least, until the black Acura parked outside the center stoked a reminder of another fire waiting for me. I’d invited A. J. into the only thing besides Riley that held my heart.