Light Unshaken (Unveiled #2) (22 page)

“I should’ve trusted you.” I looked away. “Should’ve done so much differently.”

He drew me close. His thumb smoothed over my cheek, his lips over my ear. Though his eyes already told me he loved me, he whispered it anyway.

My fingers lost their grip on his sleeve. I clutched my arms over my body. “When we said goodbye at the airport in August, do you remember what you asked me? You made me promise to trust your love above anything else.”

I turned to the lake, fumbling over things I still didn’t know how to say. “I didn’t understand. I knew being apart was going to be hard, but I never expected . . .”

Riley eased closer. “I’m sorry—”

I lifted a hand to stop him. “Please. Please don’t.”

His gaze locked on to the tears filling mine. Perception flickered. He backed up. Jake lunged from the grass and nudged his snout under Riley’s hand.

I looked away, squeezed back the tears, and faced him again. “I had to come. I had to see you. So much has happened.”

He didn’t move. A glance swept from my face to my hand as though begging to find my engagement ring still there.

“At the beginning of the year, I told Austin I wasn’t afraid anymore. But that’s all I’ve been since you first told me you were moving. Afraid. Terrified of what it’d mean for us, for me. I worried I’d lose you if you realized I didn’t measure up to what you’d find here.”

My arms came undone. “I thought I was being brave by letting you go. Thought I was proving I was ready for marriage. That I could be all you needed from me. But the truth is, there was so much I had to learn about love. About myself. Life. Things I wouldn’t have learned if I hadn’t stayed at Reed.”

Every experience I’d walked through this semester screened through my mind until one truth rose from the ashes. Flames didn’t only temper gold. They purified it. As hard as that process was, love wouldn’t survive without it. I knew that now.

Would that truth meet me here? Through one more fire?

The drum in my chest overpowered every other sound. I balled my coat cuffs in my hands. “With all that was going on, I didn’t realize how vulnerable my heart was. I shouldn’t have turned to others instead of to you.”

Comprehension tore across Riley’s face. “Other people. As in A. J.”

“Riley, I’m sorry. I—”

“I never should’ve left you.” Apprehension stole the stability I’d always found in his eyes.

I wanted to reach for him, but the question coursing off him rooted me in place.

“And I sure as well should’ve known better than to trust A. J.” He backed up, creating a defining distance between us.

“It wasn’t like that. It’s my fault for letting him get too close.”

His jaw twitched. “Irresistible
and
naive. You’re the perfect prey.”

I winced, but it wasn’t fair to expect anything less. “You’re right. I should’ve guarded my heart, even from a friend.”

He turned, kneaded his shoulder blade. The damp wind weighed down the silence.

“Do you love him?”

Summoning what strength I had left, I moved in front of him. “We went through a lot. Because of that, I’ll always value the friendship we had, but I’ll never love anyone the way I love you.”

His lashes swept toward me. Though tinged with pain, his eyes held mine the way our breath held time.

The ghost of a smile broke through. “I don’t blame A. J. for falling in love with you.” He lifted his fingers to my hair and swallowed hard. “It’d be the most excruciating thing I’d ever have to do. But if you choose someone else, I’ll walk away.”

His response didn’t hold any traces of anger, no sarcasm, not even a twinge of fear.

Regret clogged my voice. “I can’t undo the damage I’ve caused. And I know having a fractured heart is the price of not protecting it.” The pain of those consequences streamed down my cheeks. “But even broken, my heart still belongs to you.”

I pinched my coat across my stomach. “I’ve been so scared of what I could lose. Scared of not being whole. Of the cost of loving something that could break. I wanted to be everything you needed, but I’ve realized I can’t. I’m going to mess up. I’m going to disappoint you. We both will. But I’m asking you to walk with me anyway. Through the failures. To give all we have. Even the brokenness.”

I faced the sky, inhaled. “I’m asking you to risk the kind of love worth promising.”

Clouds ushered in and filled the space on that quiet sidewalk. Jake yelped into the silence, but Riley didn’t move. Didn’t speak. The frigid air stretched its arms between us and clamped its hands over each breath it stole.

My tears landed on the ground as the memory of Dee’s voice whispered an assurance I finally understood couldn’t be separated from grace. “
I am courageous.
”

A Toyota pulled up to the curb. Jess whipped a glare at us from the driver’s seat.

Heat pulsed through my body. I turned Riley toward me and drew from the courage I had to trust would carry me through whatever came next.

Surrounded by shadows, I waited for the clouds to yield to the sunlight and my fears to the words it’d taken me traveling over two thousand miles to figure out how to say.

“Marry me. Tonight.”

A Word from the Author

Thanks so much for reading
Light Unshaken
.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Crystal received her bachelor of arts from Messiah College in PA, married her exact opposite in upstate NY, and earned her master of arts from Regent University in VA, where she currently resides with her husband, David. Crystal writes contemporary inspirational fiction fueled by Starbucks’ venti green teas. She’d love to connect with you at
http://crystal-walton.com
.

Acknowledgements

Dave, thanks for cheering me to press through, letting me cry when I felt I couldn’t, and for walking with me through every step of the journey, even the brokenness.

Jessica Patch, queen of brainstorming, thank you for standing in as my surrogate critique partner and for pushing me—and Emma—to live up to our potential.

Erynn Newman, your gifts as an editor continue to amaze me. Thanks for humoring my attempt at converting you into a Team A. J. fan, for not booting me after the story may or may not have made you cry in public, and for cracking me up with your witty comments. I’m blessed to work with you.

Rachel Olsen, the days would be very long without our jokes carrying me through all our plight-worthy moments. Thanks for lending me your mad skills as a proofer.

Victorine Lieske, your patience is priceless. Thank you for all your input and help with finding the right cover.

Jay Hylton, thanks for fielding my EMT questions.

Katie Goldman, few people can ask you how you’re doing and understand exactly what you mean when you say, “the usual.” Thanks for all those Starbucks-date-pick-me-ups. Chapter 23 is just for you.

Nora Culley, thanks for dishing out a healthy dose of tough love when I need it. Your hopefulness is contagious. It carried me through our clairvoyant college days and continues to bless me, year after year.

Amanda Kaney, your enthusiasm for this series has been such a huge source of encouragement to my heart. Thanks for your support and friendship. I treasure them both.

Mom, what would I do without my biggest fan? Thank you for loaning me your faith when mine has shaken.