Lie to Me (an OddRocket title) (8 page)

"You need to turn up here," I said as he reached another four-way stop. "Go right. It's at the end of the block, past the houses." We drove down a woodsy street where the houses had rolling lawns and circular driveways. Most of these houses had been small once, then torn down and replaced with mega houses big enough for three families.

I'd asked RD about Mom. I'd asked him what he thought and he'd ignored my question. I wanted to ask him again; somehow it seemed like he would be able to tell me what was going on, even though he'd just arrived. He barely knew her, he barely knew me, but I wanted someone to step in and help me through this mess of feelings. I wanted RD to tell me that the world wasn't ending, but his silence made me fear that he knew a truth I wasn't allowing myself to see. I wanted him to tell me everything was going to be okay. I wanted him to lie to me.

RD turned into the empty parking lot on the top of the island and parked in a space that faced a volleyball field. Beyond the court, the hillside sloped downward, exposing a one-hundred-eighty degree view of the water and the sparkling lights from the mainland. On a normal summer evening, the park would have been full, but tonight the mini-monsoon kept even the dog walkers away. RD switched off his headlights.

"You want to just hang here?" he said, leaning back in his seat.

"Sure." Suddenly I felt embarrassed and self-conscious, for reaching out to him, a guy I barely knew. "I'm sorry for freaking out on you. You probably have a hundred places you'd rather be."

"Actually, I don't and you're all right." He shrugged his shoulders. "I have had my share of freak-outs and, honestly, you only stormed out of the restaurant. You didn't break anything. You didn't threaten anyone."

"Have you?"

He hesitated. "I've been known to ‘manufacture’ drama, or so I've been told. I'm not proud of it. I've made mistakes. Everyone has."

"What kind of mistakes?"

"The kind I don't like thinking about."

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to pry."

"No, it's okay," he said. "The truth is, sometimes I've been known to drink too much." He held his hands to his cheeks in mock surprise. "I know… a shocker. Guy goes to college and spends more time drinking beer than studying."

"But you still drink."

"Give the girl a prize," he said. "I do, sometimes. I've got it under control. I just have to not drink too much."

"Oh," I said. My heart raced. I felt like I'd pried, but I wanted to know RD's secrets. Somehow, knowing he didn't feel good about everything in his life made him seem even more compelling. He had this aura of control, but he had chinks in his armor just like everyone else and, RD trusted me with the truth. That was more than I could say about anyone else in my life.

"We can't stay long, you know.” He scooted away from me, leaning his back against the door. "I know you don't want to go home right now, but eventually I'm going to have to take you there."

"I know," I sighed and leaned back in my seat. "I'm sorry I dragged you into this."

"Yeah, I had this Sudoku puzzle I was going to work tonight all by myself and now it's just going to have to wait another day."

I laughed.

"You are making me believe my jokes are actually funny. You better be careful, my ego might get out of control here."

"They seem funny to me."

"Yeah, but you've had a seriously bad day, am I right?"

"True."

"The whole situation kind of freaked you out. The fight with your mom?"

"Well, yeah," I said. I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned around so I could see him better. He hadn't shaved; soft stubble covered his chin and cheeks.

"I don't know what's going on. Something's wrong with her and she's keeping secrets and it doesn't make sense. Mom doesn't yell at us, she doesn't take medicine and she never has headaches and she's been so weird lately, buying Coco Puffs and Addie's never
ever
in trouble and that is so not fair."

"Breathe," he said. I saw his hand move as if he was going to reach for me, but he didn't. He stayed locked in place, leaning against the car door.

"And what if there is something horrible going on and what if it can't be fixed?" A wave of tears surprised me and I clamped my hand over my mouth as if I could hold them back. "I didn't know I was going to cry," I said, trying to steady my breathing.

"It's okay. You're all right," RD said. Suddenly, rain hit the window even harder than before, water covering the glass in sheets. I felt like we were in a car wash or sinking slowly below the sea. "We may drown, of course."

I laughed and cried at the same time, wiping my eyes. "You're right, we could just die here in a flood."

"I would haunt this park," he said. "I'd haunt every volleyball game or maybe the swing set over there."

"Drowning would not be my preferred way to go," I said.

“I don’t know, I’ve heard it’s kind of peaceful.” RD looked out into the rain. He scrunched up his face as if he was thinking of something unpleasant. "I don't know what is going to happen with your mom, Cassie, or what’s coming. Whatever your mom is dealing with, she'll tell you. She'll tell you when she's ready and you are going to be able to handle it.” He leaned toward me a little bit.

"I can't handle my lying best friend and my ex-boyfriend had me running from the restaurant sobbing. I'm not exactly the poster child for coping."

"Um, yesterday I watched you ritualistically throw a ring into the waves with the strength of a warrior."

"That was embarrassing," I said, cringing.

"No, it was smart. You knew you had to rid yourself of the past. Sometimes you just need a fresh start. Then today, you went sailing with me. You barely know me… I could have been a lunatic, a crazy guy."

"Maybe you should drive me home," I giggled.

"Now you're thinking straight. Stay away from the idiot condemned to sleep on his boat for the summer."

"Condemned?"

"But today you sailed with that idiot and you owned that jib sheet. If the wind hadn't died, you probably could have taken us around Jekyll a few times single-handed."

I laughed. "With these blisters? No way."

He inhaled. "Man, I seriously screwed up. That is my fault, you know." His tone changed and he reached out and grabbed my hands, holding my palms for a moment. Then he looked up at me and dropped my hands like they were burning hot. "Okay, that is my cue. Time to get you home. I have wounded you enough."

I liked the way RD touched me, but I felt unsure of what his touch meant. He was older than me, a nice guy condemned to live on a sailboat for the summer. I wanted to know more, but he hadn't shared and, even if he did have problems, the way he smiled made me feel like I was standing in sunlight. He had this laugh that washed over me and left me warm. "But I'd rather stay here and talk to you," I said, hoping for a few more minutes.

"You have a curfew and no way am I going to soil my already blackened reputation by keeping you out too late."

"But Mariah sent you for me."

"With instructions to bring you back," he said, glancing at his dashboard. "So, unless you want me to feel Mariah's wrath, and I have seen a flash of it and it scares me to the bone, I am going to drive you home."

"You're right," I said. But RD didn't start the car right away and we just sat there for a minute, watching raindrops fall on the windshield. The air inside the car felt hot and moist. We’d fogged up the windows talking. "You really think it's going to be okay, RD?" I asked.

"This stuff with your ex? It's white noise. You and your friend will work things out. And when it comes to your mom? You are stronger than you know, beautiful."

There it was again.
Beautiful
. It took the air out of my lungs. I felt my cheeks burn and the warmth in his voice didn't make me smile this time, it crushed me. I lost a grip on the swirling emotions inside and cried, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Hey, hey,” he said, scooting closer to me in a panic. “Man, I thought I was cheering you up.”

"You did. I'm sorry." My voice was high and choked with tears. Even now, I don't know if the tears were for Mom and what I knew was coming, or for Nick and my broken heart, or my splintered friendship with Priya.

"Hey, hey. Easy." RD scooted forward and put his arm around me. "You are going to be okay." He laughed a little. "I thought we were at the part where you start to feel better? I don't know anything, I guess."

"You did make me feel better," I sobbed. Why couldn't I stop?

RD reached out and stroked my hair. I felt his fingers brush against my cheek, lingering. When I looked up at him, our eyes met for a moment and I felt something between us. A heat that made my tears stop and my breath feel too big for my lungs.

RD looked at me for a beat before moving away. "Okay, so seriously, that really is my cue to get you home. Show me the way."

I didn’t argue this time.

He turned up the radio while we drove along the island. I took that as a sign that he didn't want to talk. I didn't mind. My tears had stopped and suddenly I had this feeling that I wasn't totally alone. RD was here for the summer and he believed I could face whatever was coming. I showed him where to turn when we reached the stop sign near the stables. RD parked the car at the top of our steep driveway. I could see the glimmer of lights on upstairs in my mother’s room, but another house and a row of thick trees kept us out of sight.

"So, I'll just drop you here," he said.

"Good idea." I didn't want to get out of the car and face my mother's secrets. The car idled and, for the first time, I noticed that the radio was on. Joni Mitchell sang sweetly about drawing a face on a napkin and drinking wine. It was a song that Mom played all the time. "Thanks for talking to me."

He nodded. "No problem."

"'Night," I said, opening the car door and standing on the gravel. "Tell Mariah..."

"I'll tell her I took you straight home."

I nodded.

RD looked at me as if he was considering something. "I'm working on that boat at the marina. Would you want to help me a few hours a week?" he said. "I could use an extra set of hands working on the varnish. I have the summer to get that girl fixed up and..."

"Yes," I said, resisting the urge to jump up and down. "I'd love to."

"All right," he smiled. "It's thankless work. Just a few hours and I'll pay you and teach you how to sail."

"I'll do it. I love boats."

"Okay, then," he smiled. "Looks like you got yourself another job. You are officially a moonlighting psychic. Why don't you give me your cell?” I gave him my number, my heart racing. Suddenly, my world didn't seem so small. "Make sure your mom is cool with you working with me."

"She will be," I said.

He tipped his hand at me as if saluting. "Later."

I closed the car door and walked down the steep driveway that led to the house. I tiptoed upstairs, avoiding the creaky third step from the top and inched past my mom’s bedroom door. I couldn’t face her and I didn’t want to stop thinking about RD. The way he'd talked to me, how he'd wrapped his arms around me when I'd cried. I'd never felt anyone hold me like that. I cried watching a movie with Nick once, but he'd sat on the couch and kind of pretended I wasn't. I had felt so uncomfortable. RD knew how to deal with emotions and he seemed to know exactly what to say. And now he wanted me to work on his boat with him. I didn't feel as overwhelmed with worry any longer; there was this flicker of possibility in my world. Maybe my doomed summer would turn around.

My phone beeped at three in the morning with a text. I assumed it was Priya and reached for the phone to hit
delete
. She was probably up, feeling guilty. Maybe she'd had a nightmare that she'd destroyed our friendship and realized it was true. But it wasn't Priya. It was a number I didn't recognize.

The message said,
You are GOOD
.

My heartbeat thumped against my chest.

You are GOOD.
RD? It had to be RD. Why was he texting in the middle of the night?

I impulsively replied. My heart raced while my fingers flew over the keypad.

See you soon.

I hesitated and added one more thing.

You are good, too.

I hit send and immediately wished I could grab the message and shove it back in my pocket like a note I'd hadn't meant to pass in a class. What if that wasn't RD or what if he thought my reply was weird?

I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep, my mind replaying every moment with him in the car. The moment he'd touched my face, I'd looked up into his eyes and, for a split second, I'd felt him move toward me. It was as if he wanted to kiss me. I knew it was wrong. He was older than me, my new boss, a guy I barely knew, but I fell asleep that night wishing that his "almost kiss" was real.

In the morning, fog floats above the Sound until the sun rises and the heat melts the thick clouds away. I woke up early and wasn't surprised to see the water obscured by a blanket of white. Thinking about RD, I felt like I may have the power to bring the sun back. I kept my cell phone in my hand as I walked into the kitchen. I did not want to miss his call.

I rifled through the refrigerator for some orange juice. My throat hurt from staying up too late and my head hurt from trying not to think too much, but my heart felt strong. I hadn't slept well. I kept going back and forth in my mind between RD's "almost kiss" and my mother's secret. What was she hiding? How bad could it be and what would have happened if RD had actually leaned over and brushed his mouth against mine? I closed my eyes wondering what it would be like to feel him press against me.

I poured myself a glass of juice and walked into the dining room. My mother sat at the oak table, staring at the water through one of our peek-a-boo views. Mom looked sad, her blue, terrycloth bathrobe tied tightly around her waist, arms folded across her chest. Mom always told us to read body language and hers said
don't talk to me
. I opened my mouth to speak, I had so many questions, but I was afraid to start. I stepped backwards out of the dining room, hoping to escape. One quiet step and my foot landed on something solid and sharp. It was one of Addie's dog brushes.