Lie to Me (an OddRocket title) (22 page)

"Yes. I mean, no." A tear escaped. "Allergies. Bye. I'm sorry. I should go." I jumped off the boat and ran down the dock.

"I'll tell him you stopped by!" Rachel called to me.

"Ba-bye!" The voice of RD's son followed me as I ran down the dock. I couldn't run fast enough.

Mariah believed me when I told her I was sick.

"I can't work." I kept my voice steady. "Seriously, I think I might puke."

"I knew something wasn't right with you, sweetie." She held her hand up to my forehead as we stood in the entryway, colored beams from the stained glass window in the door painting us both with light. "Okay, hon'. I'll call Lucy and have her come pick you up."

"But who will cover for me?"

"Bill can help out and it's going to be slow. You go home."

I waited for Aunt Lucy on the front deck.

A wife.

RD had a wife. What a strange word.
Wife. Wife. Wife
. I said it in my head again and again, listening as it changed, becoming something foreign and impossible to understand. RD had a wife and not just any wife. He had a sexy, sweet, friendly wife… and a child. I thought of all the phone calls he'd ignored. Had he been whale-watching with his family? Sitting with Rachel in the cockpit, leaning against her as they steered into a sunset? I felt so stupid. I wanted to believe there was an explanation, something that RD could say to explain his lies. My stomach felt as though I'd swallowed a swarm of angry bees.

I kept looking at my phone wondering if I should call him, but what would I say? "Um, RD. I know you have a wife and a baby boy and I'm really mad because I'm sixteen and I thought we had a future together? Why did you lie to me?" I was such an idiot. But why did I still want to talk to him? Why did I think that if he came running up the stairs to kiss me, I'd smile and pretend Rachel didn't exist?

Aunt Lucy pulled into the gravel parking lot. She drove too fast, like a city person, spraying gravel on all the other cars. Island people took their time, but not Aunt Lucy. Rachel and Duncan climbed off the back of RD's boat and started down the dock hand-in-hand. If I hadn't known who they were, I would have thought they looked kind of sweet, a pretty mother holding hands with her baby boy. Duncan was steady on his feet, but held onto his mom like he needed her to keep him straight.

I waved at Aunt Lucy and ran down the hill. Mission Impossible. Get out of the parking lot before I encountered Rachel, the wife, again. I ran so fast, I had my hand on the door handle before Addie even climbed out of the back seat.

"Hey." Aunt Lucy raised her eyebrows. "You ran down here? I thought you were sick?" She pointed up to the Hideaway.

"I am." I grabbed my stomach. "I was afraid I'd throw up in the restaurant. Can we go?" Rachel and Duncan were fiddling with the gate. I really didn't want to talk to them again.

"Well, I wanted to check with Mariah about a couple of things."

"Can you please do that later?" I asked, opening and closing the locked door handle. "I feel awful. Please?" I asked again.

Addie started banging on her door. "Hey!" She rolled down her window. "I wanted to go look at the sailboats in the marina. I've been thinking about Jekyll Island, Cassie. I think I know how to help Mom. I've got it all figured out."

"Later, Addie," I said as Aunt Lucy hit the power locks. "We're going home."

"But it's a good idea," Addie whined.

"Oh, my God. Lucy?" Rachel's sweet, clear voice carried across the parking lot. She squinted at Aunt Lucy the way someone does when they aren't sure of what they see.

"Rachel?” Recognition flashed across Aunt Lucy’s face. “Is that you? Oh, my goodness. How are you, honey?"

Honey? They met in the center of the gravel parking lot and hugged. Why were they hugging?
Stop hugging!
I wanted to scream.
You can't be hugging because you're RD's wife and you're my aunt and I hate you both! Stop with the hugging!
I sank down lower in my seat, clutching my stomach. Faking nausea was becoming less and less important as real life invented all sorts of reasons to make me vomit.

"No one listens to me," Addie said. "I'm so sick of you people and how nobody listens." Addie picked up a sailing tactic book and opened it with a sigh.

"Oh, hiya, Cassie!" Rachel waved at me and I could hear her through Addie's cracked window. She held Duncan. "Say 'hi,' Duncan."

I waved weakly.

"Who's that?" Addie asked, looking up from her book.

"No one," I said, quietly. "Come on, Aunt Lucy, let’s go. Let’s go, let's go."

They walked together up the hill to the restaurant. They appeared to be chatting and laughing like old friends. How did they know each other? Aunt Lucy knew no one and now she knew RD's wife?

"What are they talking about?" I muttered.

"I dunno." Addie put down her book.

I hadn't realized I asked the question out loud.

"Did you know that one of the strongest defensive moves in sailing is to shadow your opponent? You steal their wind by sailing right behind them? I think that going to Jekyll would be pretty tough, but you need to think about the island as your opponent."

"Mom's not going to let you sail and I feel really sick." I clutched my forehead, clammy with sweat.

"You always feel sick," Addie said. "You're worse than Mom."

"Seriously. I feel sick."

Aunt Lucy was rooting around in her purse for something: A pen. Oh, my God. They were exchanging numbers.

"And you never keep your promises," Addie crossed her arms and her voice had that angry-little-girl edge to it. I called it her "exorcist voice" when she got mad enough to make her head spin around backwards. "Mom says it's wrong to not keep your word."

"I have a little more on my mind this summer than you, Addie. Sorry to burst your bubble. So, can you please stop with your constant talking and all of your questions?" My voice rose and I instantly regretted the outburst as hurt flashed across my sister's face.

Addie picked up her book again. She refused to look at me, her chest shaking as she fought back her tears.

Any second now, someone would knock on the car window and award me the "meanest sister in the world" award. I'd have to prepare a speech. Could I be a more horrible person? Not only was I a liar, I was a bad friend, a bad sister and a potential home wrecker. Oh my God, a home wrecker. This couldn’t be happening; I wasn’t that kind of a person. Was I?

"I'm sorry, Addie," I said.

She held up her hand to silence me.

I wanted to say something else to make up for being mean, but Aunt Lucy showed up. "That is so funny," Aunt Lucy said, getting into the car and starting the engine.

"What?" I asked, quietly watching Addie in the rearview mirror. She wouldn't look to the front, her eyes fixated on the sailing tactic book in her lap.

"Rachel." Aunt Lucy backed up. "So Rachel's mom and I went to law school together. I haven't seen Rachel for about five years, I guess. She was around your age then. She must be twenty-one, twenty-two now? She went to the UW. I heard about the baby, not the husband, but I guess he's keeping a sailboat at the marina. Small world, isn't it?" Aunt Lucy asked, driving us onto the main road.

"Yeah. Crazy," I said at a near-whisper.

"Small, small world." Aunt Lucy looked so pleased with herself. "I don't think it's been an easy road for her. Anyway, she's going to come by the house later for a drink, maybe an early dinner, if your mom feels up to it."

"What?" If I'd been driving, I would have hit the brakes. This was totally unacceptable. "We shouldn't do that."

"It will be fun," Aunt Lucy said. "You will love Rachel. You know, she isn't that much older than you, Cassie."

"But Mom's sick and I feel awful. I don't think we should have people over." My face felt hot and tears blurred my vision. "I just don't think Mom would like having someone over she doesn't know. She wouldn't..." I couldn't finish my sentence.

"Easy, Cassie. We'll talk to your mom when we get home. It might be good for her to see a new face." Aunt Lucy reached over and patted my hand. "Relax," she said.

I looked away from her and stared out the window, willing my tears to stop falling, but failing. Addie watched me from the back seat, her brow knitted into a line.

"It's all right, Cassandra." Aunt Lucy's spoke softly and she squeezed my fingers.

"No. It's not." I whispered, my voice hoarse, shredded to pieces by my tears.

"I know this is hard, but you're doing a really good job with all of it. Really."

I bit my lip and hoped she understood that I was done talking. I didn't want to bond. I didn't want to confess. I just wanted her to leave me alone in my misery.

My cell phone beeped as a text message arrived. RD. Shaking, I read his message.

Boathouse ASAP.

When we got home, I walked back to my room as Addie followed. My legs felt shaky. I had to get to the boathouse to meet RD. He'd explain everything. There had to be a reason he hadn't told me about Rachel, like maybe it wasn't true. Maybe they weren't really together the way she thought.

"Sorry you don't feel good, Cassie," Addie said.

"Thanks."

"You were really mean in the car, you know." Addie stood in my doorway. "I have a good idea."

"Addie, I’m sorry I feel sick." I lay down on my bed. "I really don't want to talk right now. I promise, next time the weather is good, I'll talk to Mom and see if she'll let us both go out in one of the dinghies. All right? Now, please, leave me alone for a little while."

Her face fell, but she nodded as if she understood before closing my bedroom door. As her footsteps faded, I jumped off the bed and pulled on the light pink cardigan I'd worn the first night RD kissed me. I then made a quick check of my reflection in the mirror behind my door. I'd been spending so much time on the boat with RD that my skin had a soft, golden glow. I would never be tan like Priya, but this was my kind of gold.

I tiptoed down the hall, down the stairs, avoiding the creaky step third from the top. I cracked the front door and slipped outside, running straight into the Forgotten Woods. The late afternoon sunlight filtered through the trees, sprinkling the mossy ground with spots of light. The path opened up to the beach, revealing the boathouse at the end of the dock. It looked so lonely to me. The memory of the night we'd had sex on the blue cushions still made me feel all mixed up inside. The boathouse contained the start of our biggest secret and now I felt sick thinking of Rachel and what we'd done inside those walls.

I opened the weathered, gray door. Once blue, the rain and wind had peeled away its color in long thin strips. RD sat on the floor, leaning against the leg of the old wooden workbench.

"Hey, there." He raised his hand as if he wanted me to take it and sit beside him.

I stayed by the door, gripping the cold, brass handle. Before, I would have let him put those big arms around me and pull me close, but now, standing in front of him, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to move. He dropped his hand as I hesitated.

"Cassie, it's me."

"No." I shivered. The air felt damp and chilly against my skin. "What's going on?" I managed to get one full sentence out without gasping. My brain swirled with questions, but my body was stuck on pause.

"It's not what you think." RD stood up. "Please, come here."

This time I obeyed. I let go and walked toward him, racing in the last two steps.

"I don't understand." I buried my face against his chest, his arms closed in tight around me.

"It's going to be okay." He stroked my head. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you myself. I wanted to tell you."

"What?" I pulled away and looked up at him. "That you're married? I mean, it's okay, but it's not. It's not like I thought we'd get married, but still, I thought you loved me. I thought…"

"Shh..." He took my hand. "Let’s sit. I need you to be calm."

"How can I be calm?" My voice rose. "I don't understand, RD." I couldn't breathe. He took a few of the blue cushions we'd laid upon that first night and put them on the edge of the dock so we could sit and dangle our feet over the Sound. The shallow water glowed from the inside. The murky, gray sand reflected light from the bottom, bathing us in a green glow. RD held my hand, but he didn't look me in the eye. "I married Rachel after Duncan was born. I don't love her. I love Duncan, but I didn't plan for him..." My heart collapsed and every word he spoke ground me to dust. "Rachel and I met my freshman year of college and then junior year she gets pregnant." He stared straight ahead as he spoke. "There was pressure from our families and I did the right thing. I got married. I quit basketball, and started drinking too much. And this summer I was trying to get away, to clear my head. I didn't expect to meet you."

He never expected me. Never. I repeated this in my mind. I wanted to hold onto this thought like a lifeline. "Does she know about me?" I stared at the water focusing on the darkened shapes of rocks at the bottom.

"Oh, God, no," RD laughed. "Nobody does."

But this wasn't funny. How could he laugh?

"She knows that you've been helping me on the boat and that's all she can know, Cassie. It's really important. You know that, right? This summer, the way we've been, I didn't mean for it to happen and we have to keep it a secret."

Why was he talking as if we were in the past? He touched my cheek and turned my face so I could look right into his eyes. I wondered if he could feel me shaking. "You haven't told anyone about us, have you?"

"No. I mean, not really..."

"What does 'not really' mean?"

"People know I have a boyfriend, but no one knows it's you."

"What do you mean, people know you have a boyfriend?" RD dropped his hand as his voice raised, a vein in his right temple pulsed. "Cassie, what the hell? Have you told your friends about this? Priya? Have you been talking to her?"

"No." I panicked. I couldn't find the right words. "No. People think I have a boyfriend. They don't know that it's you, okay? I wouldn't tell. Please don't be mad at me, RD." I started to cry; I didn't want him to be angry.