Lexi, Baby (3 page)

“Truthfully, I just want another reason to
spoil you sweetheart, and this time you have to accept anything I
give you. It’s a rule.” He pulled back gave me a sweet, but deep,
closed mouth kiss. I loved when he kissed me like that, but this
time I knew he was only trying to sway my decision. He didn’t know
I was already swayed at the mention of my little princess’
name.

I pressed forward and opened my mouth over
his to suck in his bottom lip. He sighed and opened his mouth for
me. “You don’t fight fair Lex. I was finally winning,” he
whispered.

Yeah, that was more like it. “You already
won Ry.” I whispered back and gave him one last pull.

I knew he was right, like always. Well, not
about the spoiling part.

So, as I now stood backstage waiting for the
ceremony to begin, I had to keep telling myself that I was doing
this for Layla; and Ryan; and I suppose Trish considering all the
bitching she did when I told her I didn’t want to walk. Trish, the
lucky hooker, was already half way through her Veterinarian
studies.

I wasn’t happy and I already had a bad
feeling about today. Finding my old diary brought back some painful
memories. I just wanted to grab my degree and haul ass out of here
and all this waiting around was really playing tricks with my
head.

I started chewing away at my cuticles
thinking about everything that’s happened to get me to this point
in my life.

Everything after that horrid, sleepless
night six years ago that always felt like it just happened
yesterday...

The day after Landyn’s betrayal, I was a
complete robot set on auto. I worked fast to get out of town so no
one, other than my parents and Trish, would find out that I was
five weeks pregnant. Secrets were few and far between in small
towns. I told my parents and Trish as soon as I found out, but I
was planning something special for Landyn.

I was going to tell him about the baby the
weekend after we both started school. I had secretly applied to the
local community college near his because there was no way I wanted
Landyn changing his mind about going to the college of his dreams.
Trish even decided she would work on transferring to his university
the next semester to be closer to me and her “soon to be niece or
nephew”.

I begged her not to work her life around
mine, but her mind was made up.

Not that it mattered now. Neither one of us
would be moving. It had all been a fantasy. Lan would never know
about the miracle growing inside me.

The day after the Destiny fiasco, Landyn set
up camp on my front porch; sometimes he would sit in his car, but
he never left the front of my house. He also called a million times
to my house phone, cell phone and even my parent’s cell phone; yes,
they shared one.

I ached to see him or simply hear his voice,
but I couldn’t give in now. I threatened anyone who looked like
they might answer. “Touch that phone and I’ll break your hand!”

I wouldn’t really, but I’d be seriously
pissed off.

My parents were extremely supportive, but
they didn’t agree with me not telling Landyn about the baby.
Hell-to-the-no way was I telling him! He didn’t deserve to know. I
knew, without a doubt, that he would try even harder to get me back
for the baby’s sake, and possibly his own conscience, but I never
wanted to see him again.

One day I might regret not telling him, but
at that moment, just the thought of him made me furious and not
just at him. I was furious with myself for being so naive. Plus, if
I told him about the baby I’d have to see his irresistibly,
beautiful face every time he came to visit.

No fucking way
!

So, my dad contacted the apartment complex
where Trish and I were rooming together and managed to talk them
into letting us move in two weeks early. I’m sure my parents paid
extra for that.

Somehow my dad even found out there was an
open administrative position in the leasing office as well. That
killed two birds with one stone because I refused to let my parents
take on the burden of my irresponsibility, even knowing the
pleasure they would take in helping me.

Throughout my last few days home, Landyn
came by obsessively and called and left messages. I never answered
or listened. Somehow I managed to sneak out of the house and move
into my apartment. Landyn’s calls continued, but my parents never
mentioned if he still came by after I left, even though I had no
doubt he did.

My only saving grace was the fact that
Landyn didn’t know exactly which apartment complex I was staying
in. I never got around to sharing the details.

After about two months, Lan’s calls finally
toned down to only a few times a week. Then they gradually ceased.
It hurt when the calls stopped and I almost couldn’t stand it. I
itched to call him up and order, “You better keep calling me, jerk”
just so I could take pleasure in thinking he still cared for me. I
also longed to hear him say, “Lexi, baby” when he answered the
phone in that deep voice of his.

But I had to move forward.

I finally started to get a routine together,
but as my luck would have it, pregnancy and college didn’t mix very
well. In about my thirteenth week of pregnancy, morning sickness
turned into twenty-four hour sickness.

How in the hell that happened, I had no
clue.

I fought as hard as I could to keep up, but
my grades just kept slipping. I started to get sicker for longer
periods of time. Trish was a life saver, no doubt about it. No
matter what boyfriend she had at the time or studying she had to
do, she was always there for me, helping in every possible way. She
would even clean the bathroom after I threw up when I was too weak
to do it myself. She always made dinner or bought take-out. She
even rubbed my back and brought me juice.

Now that’s a best friend for life! I really
wished we were lesbians.

Of course there was always Trish’s random,
but fairly consistent cursing of, “that stupid, son of a bitch,
asshole, bastard Landyn!” But who could blame her really? She was
doing what should have been his job. I cursed him myself on
numerous occasions.

The day the doctor finally put me on bed
rest, my world nearly fell apart. A
gain!

So much for not needing my parent’s
help
.

I became depressed. Having nothing but time
on my hands, all I did was think of Landyn. I thought about how he
should be experiencing all the ups and downs of pregnancy with me.
I thought about how happy he would have been. I knew he would have
treated me like a like treasure. I also knew he would have been a
great dad. But just as soon as I got the urge to call him and tell
him about the baby, I wondered if when I called, would he be in the
middle of having sex with Destiny? Or maybe some other random
hooker?

Well, no way was I finding out
!

The only good thing about being so sick was
that I wasn’t gaining too much weight, just enough to keep the baby
safe. Either way, that’s all that mattered.

Three weeks early, my little princess came
into the world.

Layla James Martine.

I know, I know...
James is a boy
name, but my conscience was telling me she needed a piece of
Landyn. My hormones didn’t help the matter either.

Delivery was a breeze, which I thought I
earned for being so sick. As soon as I went into labor I called
Trish to come get me and take me to the hospital, then I called my
parents. Luckily I made it to the hospital just in time because it
seemed Princess Layla was just as impatient as her father. She was
born only an hour and thirty minutes after arriving at the
hospital.
Sheesh
!

When she was placed in my arms I cried
uncontrollably. She was a miracle. My little angel. She was
unbelievably beautiful, so beautiful that no words would do her
justice. She had black fuzzy hair, blue eyes and long curly
eyelashes. Her smooth, soft, glowing skin smelled so delicious I
had to kiss every inch of her. I constantly rubbed her little hands
and feet just to make sure she was real and not porcelain.

She looked just like her daddy; so much for
Landyn becoming a distant memory.

I would see his face in my little girl every
day for the rest of my life. But it was worth it. Layla was all
mine and I’d never have to share her. My world revolved around her
now and I looked forward to my new future. Everything was
perfect.

So I thought.

The minute I brought Layla home, things
started to get expensive real fast. As soon as I could, I got a
job; waitressing at Shark’s Bar & Grill downtown. It was the
night shift so it worked out perfectly with Trish’s schedule. My
parents also drove in frequently to spend time with Layla and help
us out.

Eventually, waitressing turned into
bartending and Mama Number Two Trish, “Aunt T” as she preferred to
be called, babysat Layla while I worked. I refused to feel bad
about leaving her with Trish because Trish loved her with all her
heart. Trish was in the delivery room when Layla was born and did
everything the daddy was expected to do. She truly was Mama Number
Two.

I really needed to explore this lesbian
thing
.

Layla was such a good baby that Trish always
threatened to steal her away for herself so that she’d never have
to ruin her perfect figure by carrying one of her own. Well, she
could try, but I’d hunt her down, cut her up in little pieces, and
feed her to buzzards when I got a hold of her.

I loved Layla so much and she filled my
heart with so much joy I thought it might burst. She was spoiled
rotten.

Things started looking up. Way up. I
registered two semesters later and took classes online, which of
course is why graduating took a lot longer than expected. I also
didn’t want to take on a full load and risk dropping my GPA.

I met Ryan the summer before my junior year.
He introduced himself to me at Shark’s. I was busy working behind
the bar when he came up and flirted horribly.

“You’re gorgeous,” I heard a guy’s soft
voice say. I quickly looked up at him like he was an alien from
another planet. “I’m Ryan,” he said, holding out his hand. I just
stared. I realized I must have looked like a dead fish standing
there staring with my mouth hanging open, but I couldn’t help it. I
was speechless.

Awkward
!

Eventually I came to and slowly took his
hand while I mumbled, “Alexis... Lex...” Now why did I just tell
him my real name? Oh, I know why, because he was freaking
hot
! Not the muscular, rugged, Landyn hot, but more like
sleek, sophisticated, smooth hot. I’d seen him in here with his
friends. They all came in wearing their slacks and buttoned-down or
polo shirts. Sometimes they wore ties. Honestly, they really did
clash with the laid back vibe here, but in a way that only made
them more noticeable.

He had short, light, sandy brown hair that
he kept gelled and combed a tad bit to the side. It wasn’t dorky,
it was sophisticated. He also had beautiful blue eyes. His face was
nicely shaped and looked very smooth. His sleeves were rolled up to
his elbows and I could see his perfectly tanned skin. His build was
lean. I figured he had a runner’s body under those clothes; a very
sleek and sexy runner’s body to match his sleek and sexy face.

I scanned down and noticed his shirt was
also unbuttoned at the neck exposing his smooth throat, a smidgen
of hair, and a hint of hard chest.

Drool
!

“Is there any way I could talk you into
having dinner with me, Lex?”

Crap, crap, crap! He caught me checking out
his chest! Well, what woman in their right mind wouldn’t ogle him?
Or man for that matter!

“Ummm...” I couldn’t even think straight.
I’ve been hit on plenty of times before, but for some reason his
yumminess had me tongue tied. At least my embarrassment earned me a
smile. A smile, I might add, that included perfectly straight white
teeth.

Sweet baby Jesus, he had a dimple! Only one.
Right cheek.
Deep
. I wanted to lick it. I wanted to lick
him
! Oh my goodness, what is wrong with me?

“Look, it’s just dinner. If you’re not
interested afterward, then I’ll think about letting you walk
away.”

Hold up! Stop the traffic!
Say what
now
?
He’ll think
... Did I just hear that right?

That sounded so much like something Landyn
would say that I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. That
was the last thing I needed in my life right now; another Landyn!
Not that it really mattered. It wasn’t like I had a spare heart to
crush. The original one was left in microscopic pieces in the
upstairs hallway of John Sanders’s house.
But still
!

I got my shit together real quick and
narrowed my eyes at him, angrier than I probably should be. “Excuse
me? You’ll
think
about letting me go? That’s your pickup
line? Well, let me tell you something jackass, I don’t care how
sexy your chest is or how much I want to lick your dimple. I’m a
single mother.”

I watched his smile fade away and knew I’d
have him running like a little girl, but abruptly, his eyes dropped
to my waist. As soon as I saw it I gasped and snapped my fingers in
his face. “Eyes up buddy! I work out, not that it’s any of your
business.” I refused to add the “
on occasion
” that would
actually make that statement true.

He quickly looked back up. “I have a baby; a
daughter. I work full-time and go to school, and any extra time I
have is devoted to the little person in my life. The last thing I
need is some asshole telling me that ’
he’ll think about letting
me go
’ if I’m not happy after our date, so fuck off!” Yes, I
made air quotes to his face.