Lexi, Baby (2 page)

At that thought, the moaning started; the
girl’s moans, not Lan’s. I had every sound Landyn made while having
sex memorized, but this time it seemed Lan was a silent partner.
More than likely the jerk just didn’t want to get caught. The idiot
was having sex in the bathroom of our mutual friend’s house and he
didn’t want to get caught!

What an asshole!

The moaning continued and I heard the girl
beg, “Harder, harder!” I closed my eyes as the tears rained down my
cheeks. I heard a couple of Lan’s barked, “Shut up’s” and it seemed
like a lifetime that I was standing there even though it couldn’t
have been more than five minutes. A few people walked by saying
things and asking questions. They were just being friendly, but I
had no idea who they were. I couldn’t concentrate on anything but
that damn door!

Suddenly the moaning grew louder, and
louder. “Yes!” I head the girl squeal and an instant later, every
sound in the world ceased.

There was about two minutes of oblivion
before the door knob jiggled and the lock finally clicked. I
wondered what they were doing during those silent minutes; were
they kissing? Was Lan cleaning her up like he did me? Were they
staring longingly at one another as Lan and I did after making
love... no... fucking. What we had was just fucking to him,
clearly.

Trish reached down to hold my hand trying to
give me a sense of comfort, when the door opened and Destiny,
Bitch-From-Hell, Tarson, the school whore, walked out with a
satisfied smile on her face. When she saw me, that smile
immediately turned evil.

Ugh
! She had blonde hair,
go
figure
, blue eyes and was beautiful, in her own “Look at me I’m
a slut and wear too much makeup” way. She also had an
eardrum-piercing voice.

If I wasn’t already convinced she was the
devil incarnate, this was concrete proof! Who the hell had a name
like Destiny? I mean
really
? Well, Bitch-From-Hell was soon
to meet her destiny
blind-as-a-bat
as soon as I claw her
eyes out!

I was about to make my move when Trish’s
hand tightened so hard around mine I flinched. I knew what she was
telling me without saying the words, so I took a long, deep breath
and moved my eyes away from the ugly smile on Destiny’s face to
look at the son of a bitch behind her.

And there he was.

Landyn... Lan...

My Lan!

The ice running through my veins quickly
ignited into fire at the sight of him. My face was burning up as
the tears continued to spill. With all my mixed emotions churning,
I knew it was only a matter of time before I threw up.

I couldn’t believe this was actually
happening, that this was real life and not a nightmare. I closed my
eyes wishing I could vanish. Wishing I had never fallen in love
with Landyn; or even met him for that matter.

I thought he was my best friend and the love
of my life. The guy I planned to marry and have a family with. To
think of all the times he talked about how beautiful our kids were
going to be was devastating.

What a silly, silly little girl I am.

The knowledge of my soul mate walking out of
a freaking
bathroom
after having sex with the biggest
Bitch-From-Hell was so overwhelming that I wanted to pull my hair
and scream at the top of my lungs!

I knew from that moment on, my life was
over. My heart was shattered beyond repair. I expected we would
both make mistakes since we were still so young, but I never would
have imagined anything like this. What hurt the most was the fact
that he was a
liar
! Everything he’s ever said to me was a
lie.

Now, I hated him with everything I had. I
would always love him, but I hated him with so much passion that I
knew I would
never
be able to forgive him. Not
ever!

It took a while for him to acknowledge my
presence. He didn’t see me because his head was still down, hand
rubbing the back of his neck in a way one might actually think he
regretted his little bathroom romp with fucking “Everyone’s had a
piece” Destiny.
Yuck
!

Once he reached the threshold of the door I
made sure to commit his beauty to memory because I never planned on
seeing it again.

“
Was it good
?” I managed to force out
the question with as much strength as I could find. I didn’t even
sound like myself.

Even though my eyes were blinded by tears, I
still saw the horrified expression on his face when he looked up
and realized I was standing there. I silently wondered if he was
horrified that he got caught, or horrified by what he’d just done.
He didn’t say anything and we stared at each other for an eternity.
He looked completely lost. I, on the other hand, just kept trying
to figure out where I went wrong.

Finally, Destiny broke the spell when she
spoke, “Ignore her Lan, let’s just go back to the party.” Then she
held out her hand and snapped her fingers in his direction. She
actually
expected him to grab it in front of me.

My eyes dared him to do it.

If he did, I was going to tackle him so hard
and pray that cracking his head on the tile would knock some
fucking sense into him!

But he didn’t.

He quickly turned his head toward Destiny
and whispered “What the fuck?”

I didn’t know if he was asking himself that
question or Destiny, but it didn’t matter. I was about to let
everyone standing in the general vicinity, himself included, know
just
what the fuck!
To make matters even worse, I just
realized the Bitch-From-Hell called Lan,
Lan
! No one called
him that but me!

Is this seriously happening right now?

I was so hot that I could swear my eyes
turned red. I ignored everything and everyone around me and
screamed, “How could you do this to me?” I barely finished my
sentence before I choked on a sob.

“Lexi, baby,” he said in a quiet, but rough
and strangled voice. He held up his hands as if to say “I won’t
hurt you,” and started to walk toward me, but I shook my head at
him.

“You stay the hell away from me!”

“Lexi, baby, fuck! I need to touch you.” His
voice was now both frustrated and desperate. He ran a hand through
his hair.

“Are you crazy? You lost the right to ever
touch me again. I’m nothing to you now,
Landyn
.” I hissed
his full name. I was outraged!

He looked completely destroyed and possibly
even a little angry that I wouldn’t let him come near me, but what
gave him the right?
The asshole
! I thought he would make
another move, but he surprised me by speaking softly, “I’m sorry,
please just listen...

“No, Landyn!” I shouted, determined to be
strong.
Fuck him
!

I was so done with him. I took a few breaths
to calm myself. I didn’t want to embarrass myself any more than he
already had, so when I looked in his mesmerizing eyes, my next
words were quiet but firm, “I
hate
you, Landyn. I don’t want
to hear anything you have to say to me. I never want to hear the
sound of your voice again.”

I took another deep breath as I started
heating up again. “I
truly
hate you and I never want to see
you again in my life!”

Well, it seemed deep breathing didn’t work
out too well since I ended that last bit on another shout. So much
for not embarrassing myself even more, either; the crowd already
surrounding us grew bigger.

Screw it!

I continued shouting. “Why? And with
her
of all people.” I lifted a hand to the devil in the
flesh who was staring at me like I was some cool new animated toy.
I mean, really
?

“How long have you been fucking her while
fucking me, huh? Is she the only one? Were you at least considerate
enough to use protection?” I shrieked, half sarcastic, half
serious. I paused a second before screaming, “Because you don’t
with me! If you’ve given me some kind of disease,
I’ll kill
you
!” I was hysterical now. “You disgust me!”

He didn’t say anything at all and continued
to stare at me with tortured eyes. He at least had the decency to
look as shattered as I was.

“Lex, you’re scaring me. Let’s just get out
of here,” Trish said quietly at my side. When she started to pull
me away, I realized that screaming at Landyn was pointless. No way
could I ever forgive him for this. I turned in a dazed stupor to
follow Trish.

When he spoke next, he spoke so softly and
my ears were ringing so badly, I almost didn’t hear him, but I did.
I stopped mid-step and every muscle in my body tensed up.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I love you so much;
maybe too much.” His voice was pained and every word was like a
knife twisting in my heart. He paused before continuing. “I made a
mistake
. One mistake Lexi, I swear.
Please
just let
me explain.”

At that moment, he started speaking, more
like stuttering, rapidly and his voice grew louder. “We’re only
eighteen, Lexi, and she was telling me things... I panicked. I know
that’s a stupid excuse... I can’t explain it right... She said
things about you... I’m really screwing this up… I’ve had too much
to drink and she just wouldn’t leave me alone... It meant nothing
to me.
Please don’t leave me
...”

Well, there was one thing I forgot to
mention about Landyn. He could care less about what people thought
of him. He would never be embarrassed to
grovel
. He said
everything I would want to hear if I was fool enough to actually
believe him and take him back, and as much as I wanted to, I knew
he was liar! Likely, it was all just an act to save face in front
of our friends.

I twisted my neck around so fast that I was
certain I’d be feeling the effects of whiplash later. He
immediately stopped stumbling through his poor attempt at begging
me for forgiveness.

For a second, I was caught off guard when I
realized that he had tears in his eyes. The bastard actually had
the nerve to have
tears in his eyes
!

“Are you kidding me right now?” I asked in a
tone that was so shockingly low, it made even my skin crawl. “
I.
Hate. You.
” I forced myself to say again, but meant every
word.

His hand came up to swipe down his face.
Seeing him cry only added to my pain, but none of this was my
fault.

“I’ve done nothing but love you Landyn.
Being the silly little dreamer girl I am, even at
eighteen
,
I was more than ready to spend my life with you. You were
everything to me, but you never will be again.” My voice was
becoming uneven and I had to pause to think through the fog.

“Good luck with the rest of your life
Landyn, I really do hope you’ll be happy.” I finished on a whisper,
then turned and ran away as fast I I could. I heard a lot of
commotion coming from behind me, but I couldn’t look back. I had to
get out of there.

The instant I made it to the front door I
heard shouting. “You’re mine Lexi! No matter what happens,
you’re mine
! Do you hear me?”

Sheesh
! Roar much?

Outside, Trish started screaming as soon as
my feet hit the pavement.

“I can’t believe this shit! I’m going to
hurt him Lex! No, I’m going to pay someone to hurt him because he’s
too big for me take down alone!”

Then all was quiet for approximately two
point five seconds before she started again, but this time she
spoke in a tone that held so much venom she frightened even me.
“I’m not going to kill him... no, that would be doing him a favor.”
She paused again. She was thinking which was never a good thing.
“I’m going to break a knee cap or his throwing arm so he’ll never
be able to play ball again! Maybe even his foot.” She turned to
face me suddenly. “Do you know how many itty bitty bones are in one
foot?” She didn’t let me answer. “Twenty-six! Yeah, I’m thinking
his foot is my best bet. Now I just need to figure out what to drop
on it. I’m going to
crush it!
” she growled.

I thought she was finished until I heard her
scream, yet again, “Destiny! What a stupid hoe-bag! Now, her I can
take down myself I just need to do some more planning! It might
take years, but she’s got it coming!” I knew she wouldn’t really
hurt Destiny physically, at least I didn’t think so, or Landyn for
that matter, but Trish was sneaky and so damn smart that she
probably would find a way to take them down. That thought made me
feel a little better.

As we drove away, Trish kept on half talking
half screaming, but I wasn’t listening. I was silently dying
inside. It really wasn’t Destiny’s fault Lan did this to me. I
understand that everyone makes their own choices and Landyn made
his, even if it was the wrong one. But that didn’t mean it hurt any
less.

Now, Diary, I have decisions to make;
major decisions
.

I was standing on the steps, about to walk
into the auditorium to receive my Bachelor of Science in Marketing
degree, and I couldn’t help but think about that damn diary I found
this morning. While I was going through my shoe boxes looking for
my gold, strappy Anne Klein heels to wear with my black cap and
gown, there it was; in all its glittery pink glory. It was like a
slap in the face, or an omen.

I didn’t want to be here now. I felt too old
for this.

Not that at twenty-four I felt out of place
at my own college graduation, I just had way more responsibility
than the typical twenty-four year old. I also never wanted to see
my six-year torture chamber again.

So, I’ve been standing on the front steps
for the last ten minutes trying to talk Ryan into taking me home,
but he wouldn’t budge.

No way was he letting me ditch and he was
relentless at trying to persuade me. “Alexis, you have to do this
for Layla. She needs to see her mom graduate and we need to
celebrate this day. You’ve worked way too hard not to enjoy it.” He
pressed his cheek against mine and spoke in his velvety, soft
voice.