Let's Be Mature About This BN (10 page)

“You hardly gave Sydney a chance. I’m surprised she didn’t rip you a new one. The only reason I can think of for her putting up with your attitude today was the fact that she really cares about me.”

“You don’t think I do too?”

“Jason, that’s not what I’m saying.”

“No, I think I’m hearing exactly what you’re saying. I stick by your side no matter how miserable you get or how you can’t seem to pencil me into your busy life schedule and as usual I get reprimanded like an ignorant child!” Gavin looked at him speechless. He had no idea how angry Jay had been feeling for a while now. They talked about everything. Why didn’t Jay say something long ago? 

“Jason, I didn’t know. You never told me you felt that way.”

“Of course you didn’t know!” Jay said bitterly. “For someone so damn
sensitive
you sure don’t know shit about anyone else’s feelings.” He tossed a twenty dollar bill onto the table and left a guilt-ridden Gavin behind in the restaurant.

***

“Oh no! He seriously said that?”

“Yes, and now he won’t answer my calls. We’ve both been busy. I’ve had work and, well, you. Jay’s been busy with the photography gallery that he opened. He never let on that he felt I was putting other things ahead of him or putting him down. The encouragement I was giving him, to be wary of all the time he was spending playing the field and playing himself, he took that as me belittling him. I’m his best friend! I’m the one who’s supposed to tell him the truth as a friend, not a critic. I’m so angry at him but I feel so guilty at the same time.”

“He probably just needs some time to cool off. I feel weird about this. When I left the restaurant I thought all the issues had been settled but it looks like I stirred up more than I thought. He really doesn’t have to apologize to me. I’m past it now.”

“No, sweetie. Don’t feel guilty about this. Jay and I are the only one’s responsible. Am I wrong to feel that he should take responsibility for being rude when it was in no way warranted? He says he’s looking out for me but it’s coming off as jealousy.”

“Maybe.”

Gavin sighed. “You’re right. I should give him some time, but he’s wrong if he thinks I’m the only one who owes someone an apology.” Sydney yawned. “Okay, I’ll take a hint,” Gavin laughed.

“Sorry honey, it’s been a long day.”

“Okay, goodnight Sydney. I…um, I love you. So much.”

Sydney’s heart skipped a beat. It was the first time he’d said this to her not in a joking and casual manner. It was the first time she’d heard it from any guy.

The words had just fallen out. Gavin wished he hadn’t said them over the phone.

“I love you, too,” Sydney answered softly, holding back tears.

He had to see her. “Sydney, just stay awake for a few more minutes. I’m coming over.” He hung up and raced his way over to Sydney and Ms. Lenton’s house. Sydney was there to open the door for him. He could tell she had been crying but she was smiling up at him and he just wanted to hold her and be with her so badly. She was wearing pink sweat shorts, a white tank top, and her hair was wrapped up in a scarf but she still looked the goddess that she was, the warm brown skin of her legs, arms, her neck and her face glowing under the starlight as she stood in the doorway.

They pulled each other close and tight leaving no space between them. All they felt was the warmth of thighs to thighs, stomach to stomach, chest to chest. His hand traveled under her tank top to feel the smooth warm skin of her waist. The touch sent shivers down her spine. Her hands became buried in the soft hair of his head as he kissed her at her throat and his lips traveled down leaving a trail of kisses. He was moving them back from the doorway and into the house and then his mouth found its way to land a kiss right over her heart, on the rise of her breast. Sydney tugged at his hair to pull his face up to hers. She knew what he was doing. She knew he was trying to maneuver them into her bedroom. She met his eyes. “You know I can’t. Remember?”

Gavin’s grip on her loosened a bit and he looked away from her and down at her exposed shoulder. He nodded slowly and then kissed her on the shoulder. Then he drew himself from the embrace leaving her suddenly chilled by the central air in the living room. He backed away and then turned around to head out the door. Sydney stood and watched, speechless, as he sauntered towards the front door. Then he turned back around, walked up and put his lips on hers. “I love you,” he said. Sydney nodded and Gavin left the house. 

CHAPTER TEN

Gavin felt like utter garbage. How many relationships could he screw up in one evening? He thought to himself that Jay was right; he really was self absorbed. If he hadn’t been only thinking of how it felt for him to hear Sydney say those three words and how much he wanted to be with her in every sense of the word that night, then maybe Sydney wouldn’t have felt like he hadn’t taken her wishes seriously. He hoped she didn’t feel like he didn’t want to see her. That was far, far from the truth. It was because he wanted her so badly that he had to get away, leave her house, and distance himself for a while. He didn’t know which was more tortuous: not being able to hold her or being there to hold her and thinking about doing too much more.

To top it off, that Saturday would be their first month anniversary and he had something big planned. Maybe if he kind of avoided seeing her for a week he’d have time to cool down and attempt to dull the vivid images of her out of his head. He was sure seeing her on Saturday wouldn’t help with that, but the day of their one month anniversary wouldn’t be a day he could avoid. Besides, he couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when she saw her anniversary gift.

***

Ever since I exchanged those life altering words with Gavin on Sunday night I was getting the sense that he was avoiding me. I mean, I talk to him every night on the phone, but if I want to go out to dinner, or a movie, or just simply veg out on the couch in front of the television with him there is always some excuse. Plus, the way he left Sunday night has me confused. He left a bit abruptly, but he made sure to reassure me that he loved me. What does that mean? Was he trying to let me down easy? Do I say something or do I give him time to tell me what’s going on? I hate this!

The next thing you know, it’s Friday night, the day before our one month anniversary and he hasn’t called me all day. Am I clingy if I call him?

It’s after midnight and now I’m angry. If I call and give him a piece of my mind for making me worry does that make me a bitch?

After an hour of sitting in my red sofa chair and nervously picking at my fingers I jump up and call his cell phone.

He didn’t answer.

So I called a second time. Then I called a third time two minutes later. I called a fourth time twenty seconds later. It’s ringing so his phone isn’t off. So…he’s just not picking it up. Is he ignoring me?

Dammit, I am
not
going to cry over this! Okay then, I guess my eyes have other plans. I angrily wipe the tears from my face, say a few curse words, say a quick prayer, and crawl into bed.

***

Gavin slowly stepped out of his apartment in his crumpled clothing and squinted in pain from the sunlight hitting his eyes. He stopped a minute to let his eyes adjust and then went down the stairs to his car in the parking lot. He had awoken that morning to realize he’d left his cell phone in his car. He grabbed his cell phone out of the cup holder and flipped it open. There were four missed calls, all of them from Sydney. He was so wrapped up in things yesterday that he’d forgotten her. Well, he had been thinking about her but he hadn’t gotten around to calling her. He knew she would be upset if he didn’t call her soon. It was 9:19 a.m. so hopefully she was awake. He went back into his apartment and made the call.

“Hello?” Sydney answered sleepily.

“Hey baby.”

“Gavin?”

“Mhmm. Sorry to wake you up. I saw that you called last night so I’m calling to let you know I’m okay. Are you okay?”

“No.”

“What’s wrong?”

“You didn’t answer your phone last night. I didn’t know what to think!”

“Sorry Sydney. I was at a party with Jay.”

“You were where?!”

Gavin winced. “Baby, could you please lower your voice a little bit. I had a bit too much to drink last night and my head is killing me.” Sydney was silent on the other end.

“Sydney, I’m sorry I didn’t call you yesterday. I was busy getting your anniversary present and then I finally got a hold of Jay and he actually talked to me so we apologized to each other so we’re cool now and then he invited me to one of his openings and then to an after party he was throwing and I just couldn’t say no because I’d just finally made up with my best friend and I didn’t want to let him down and have him say I wasn’t spending time with him and I drank a little too much because Jay convinced me to relax and have fun like old times and for some reason I forgot that partying with Jay only starts off fun and I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to have you worrying about me.”

“Just…don’t do that to me again,” Sydney pleaded. “Send me a text message or a telegram or send a carrier pigeon! Anything so I won’t have to sit around crying and wondering what’s up!”

Gavin’s heart sunk. “You were crying?”

“It’s nothing I’m proud of. Just keep me posted on things next time, okay?”

“I’m so sorry Sydney. I swear I’ll make it up to you tonight. I love you.”

Sydney smiled. “I love you too.”

“You can go back to sleep now I’ll come pick you up at four.”

“Okay.”

“Wear something sexy. Like the dress you wore on our first date.”

Sydney smiled and rolled her eyes. “You wear something sexy as well.”

Gavin laughed. “I’ll see you later, okay? I love you.”

Sydney grinned. “Love you, bye.”

“Bye.”

***

When I woke up again it was 11 o’clock and I woke up smiling. I’d had a dream that Gavin had flown us to a tropical island for our anniversary and the beach and his abs were absolutely breath taking! I stretched and headed into the kitchen. My mom was already there frying up some eggs.

“Morning Mom.”

“Good morning honey. Would you like an egg?”

“Yes ma’am,” I smiled.

“What are you so smiley about?”

“Gavin has a present for me. It’s our one month anniversary.”

“Is that right!” Mom said while placing an egg and some toast on a plate for me. “I can’t believe it’s been a month already. Time flies when you’re old.”

“Mom! You are
not
old!”

“Well, I’m older than your old boyfriend, so what does that make me?”

I shook my head, smiling, and began eating my breakfast. Next I had a three hour long wardrobe and make-up consultation with Elizabeth Roth. Liz decided that I wear an above-the-knee length turquoise dress with black trim along the neck line, at the hem, and around its flowing butterfly sleeves. The material was a silk and cotton blend and very good at caressing the curves of my body. The dress was matched with black patent leather wedge peep-toe pumps. I placed shiny black onyx studs in my ears. My jet black hair was in a straight bob and my eyes were done simply with some mascara and a bit of eyeliner. A little gloss on the lips and a few sprays of Victoria Secret’s Pure Seduction body spray and I was ready. I was definitely sexy. I wonder if Gavin has followed
my
wardrobe orders to look sexy.

My doorbell rang and I along with Liz and Sara who was on her mommy’s hip answered the door. Yes, Gavin definitely followed my orders.

“Hey Liz! Hi little Sara!” Gavin shook Sara’s little hand and she smiled. “Sydney,” Gavin breathed and took a moment to look me up and down while chewing on his lower lip. “You look amazing.”

“Thanks,” I whispered. I was having trouble speaking because I suddenly felt shy. It wasn’t just because of the way he was looking at me. It was also because he looked so hot I felt weak in the knees. It was like I was seeing him that first time at Dennison’s grocery and I was drooling again. He was wearing all black: polished black leather Chelsea boots, black pants, black belt, silky black dress shirt with the top button open and the sleeves rolled up, his jet black hair gelled and sleek; He looked like such a bad boy! Oh dear, I am raping him with my eyes! Does he know? I cleared my throat. “You look really good, too.”