Let Me In (19 page)

We get up to the top of the mountain. Jessa positions her goggles over her eyes and looks my way. “You ready, Bishop?” she asks cockily.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll be waiting at the bottom of the hill for you. You can even have a head start if you’d like,” I say arrogantly.

“Enough talk, let’s go. 1…2…3.” We both shove off the hill and she has me from the start. I’m shocked, but I know I shouldn’t be; she did grow up here. Her ass is mesmerizing as she weaves back and forth down the hill. I’m concentrating on her and have to quickly shift my hips to avoid running over a woman in front of me. I don’t bother telling her she should be on another slope. Before I can catch Jessa, she stops at the bottom, smirking my way as I follow a few seconds after.

“You lost, baby!” She starts doing a hip shaking dance in her skis. Suddenly, I’m thinking the tree idea doesn’t seem so bad right now.

As we wait in line at the lift again, I smack her ass and then give it a slow rub. “Keep doing that and I’m going to let you win.” She smiles and I chuckle, leaning over and kissing her.

We get on the ski lift and I turn her way. “This would have been a good place,” I say, “except for the fact that we could plunge to our deaths. But if you were wearing a skirt right now, I could relieve you a little.” She takes a deep breath, obviously aroused just thinking about it.

“I could say the same…minus the skirt.” She takes her hand and positions it over my pants, rubbing the bulge she just created. Then her small fingers unzip me, and her hand finds my hardness. She slides her hand up and down a little, and I undo the buttons, giving her better access. She scoots a little closer, kissing my neck.

I’m thankful no one is in the chair lift behind us, because I want nothing more than her to take me to the brink and beyond. She positions her thumb over my head, spreading the small drop of fluid around before stroking me again. “Feel good, baby?” she softly asks and I groan. “That’s what I thought.” She grins widely up to me. “Come, Grant. I want to see you come,” she whispers, and she strokes me faster and firmer. I start lifting my hips to meet her hand, and before I know it, her mouth is encased around it and I explode inside her mouth. How the hell she managed that, I have no idea, but I’m reminded once again what a fantastic girlfriend I have.

She lifts her head and laughs, “You better fix yourself. We’re almost there and my dad’s waiting at the top,” she says and points ahead. The ski lift ends in about ten chairs and I see her dad’s bright blue jacket, standing out against the snow. I hurriedly zip and button my pants, disappointed we have to cut our time short.

“Has anyone ever told you how incredible you are?” I say to her after I’m all put together again.

“Of course, you would say that after I suck your cock,” she says unabashedly.

“If you never sucked me again, I would love you the same.” I say, smiling at her and she laughs again.

“That’s the most demented romantic thing you’ve ever said to me, but…thank you.” She leans over and gives me a chaste kiss before the lift ends and we meet up with her father.

God, she relieved me of the urge that I’ve had since we got here. I needed that release and I’m sure she needs one too. As we go down the hill again, I beat her the second time, and we agree to a truce on the whole underwear bet. Especially since, we have a much bigger bet going on. Of course, I’m slightly disappointed, for if nothing else, it would have made it easier access if we find somewhere secluded.

Her dad continues to ski with us throughout the morning. When it’s time for Jessa to head to the spa, he and I meet up with Brady, Dex, and Trey. We all decide to rest and get a bite to eat. The five of us go into the lodge restaurant. We’re eating our lunch when I get a text from Jessa, saying that she’s going in for her massage in fifteen minutes and won’t have her phone on her. I look around the table and see that the guys are all busy drinking beer and watching hockey, so I decide to sneak out.

“I’ll meet you guys out on the slopes, I have something I have to do,” I say, praying they’ll think I’m just stopping by one of the stores that line the downtown area.

“See you.” The guys wave their hands without looking at me, completely enthralled in the game.

I stop by the lockers, taking off my ski gear before walking over to where I just kissed Jessa goodbye an hour ago. The place is swanky and modern with plush purple couches, black tables, a huge front desk, and crystals hanging everywhere. I hope to never return here after this. Lucky for me, it’s a young blonde at the counter and I’m hoping I can sweet talk her. I ask her about Jessa’s appointment and she instructs me where to go.

The other clients stare at me curiously as I walk down the hallway. When I get to the room that the receptionist told me she would be in, I knock softly. I see Jessa lying face down on the table
when the masseuse opens the door, and I motion with my finger for the masseuse to follow me outside. She informs Jessa that she’ll be right back and shuts the door behind her.

“May I help you?” she asks me in a European accent.

“I know this is strange, but that’s my girlfriend in there and I want to play a trick on her,” I tell her, hoping to God she doesn’t suspect that I’m about to fuck my girlfriend on her table.

She looks me over quizzically, so I pull out my phone and show her pictures of us taken just yesterday. She seems satisfied, so I hand her fifty dollars before sneaking into the room and quietly locking it behind me.

I move my hand over her calf lightly, trying to simulate the caress of a woman. “Are you back, Isa?” she asks, and I respond with a “uh huh” in the highest pitch my voice can go.

I pump the lotion into my hand and warm it up between my palms. Starting by her feet, I take the first one into my hand and spread the lotion. I continue to move my hands over the rest of her body until I finish rubbing lotion everywhere, surprised she hasn’t realized it’s me.

Then I wipe my hands on the towel and make my way to the end of the table, where I guide my hands up her thighs as though I’m going to start massaging. I let my fingers go higher with every push. She doesn’t say anything until I let my finger graze along her folds.

“Keep going, baby,” she responds and I chuckle.

“How the hell did you know it was me?” I ask.

“You think I don’t know your hands? Not to mention, if you were a professional masseuse, you’d be dirt poor,” she laughs and turns over, letting the towel fall to her waist.

I can’t control myself; it’s been too long since I’ve seen her luscious tits. I climb up on the table and take her right nipple into my mouth. Her arms cling to my back, pulling me harder against her. “God, I’ve missed you,” I murmur, letting my hands graze over her clit.

We don’t have enough time to go slow, but fortunately, she’s already wet. Sliding off the table, I guide her to the end and position myself between her legs. Her hands deftly unbutton my pants and she pushes them, along with my boxers, to the floor.

I rub against her, teasing her, and then slowly enter and leave her with only a quarter of my dick. “All of it, Grant. I want all of it,” she commands. At her words, I thrust in deeply. “Don’t stop…” she trails off, bucking faster while gripping my back.

I grab her ass, pulling her close, as I pump into her over and over again until we both climax. She collapses on the table and I crawl up and hold her in my arms. I never would’ve thought this is what I’d miss the most. Thanks to that night at the cabin, I’m now addicted to cuddling, something I never cared for prior to Jessa.

Our time in here is running out and I need to get back to the guys before someone starts looking for me. “Do you want me to have Isa come in and finish?” I ask her, stroking her arm with my fingers.

“I think you finished me just fine,” she teases. “Plus, I’m more relaxed now than I would have been after Isa was done with me.”

“Good, I aim to please.” I lean over and kiss her before I start to make my way out. “See you soon, love,” I say.

“Love you,” she responds back.

I exit the room and slyly make my way past Sam and Sadie getting their nails done. At the locker, I put my ski gear back on and head back to the slopes. I find Brady at the bottom of the ski run with his phone out. I cringe, hoping something bad hasn’t happened.

“Hey man, everything alright?” I ask, patting him on the back.

“Yeah…just an e-mail about this job,” he tells me.

“Really? Have you already started looking?” I’ve been completely distracted from thinking about the job interviews I need to start setting up.

“Just barely. Sadie applied for her Masters at Western and they accepted her, even on short notice. So we’re there for another two years at least. I have a lead on a pretty good job, though,” he continues and I’m jealous. He has Sadie and he’s getting all his shit in order to make it happen with her.

“I have to start looking soon,” I reveal.

“What’s Jessa doing?” I’m embarrassed to admit that we’ve never talked about the future. Neither of us knows what the other wants out of life. Maybe that’s why deep down she thinks I only want her for sex.

“Grant? You are in it for the long haul, right?” Brady asks when I don’t respond.

“Yes, how could you ask that?” I counter defensively.

“Have you told her
everything
?” I’m starting to wish I would’ve just walked by Brady; I could have avoided this entire conversation.

“She knows about my mom.” I start poking the poles into the ground over and over again, looking down so he can’t see my eyes.

“Jesus, how are you going to have a future if you aren’t honest with her?” he asks, his voice angry.

“You’re one to talk. You kept everything from Sadie until she found out,” I shout back.

“Yeah, and it was a mistake. Learn from my mistakes, Grant, and tell her.” Brady skis off toward the lift and I follow shortly behind.

Doesn’t he understand that those secrets don’t have anything to do with my future with Jessa? What good would it do for her to know any of that, except cause her to realize how fucked up I really am?

Jessa

Since the first night when I had my nightmare, my parents have allowed Grant to sleep in my room. Excitedly, I wheeled his suitcase into my room myself with Grant chuckling behind me. Although Grant is set on not doing anything under their roof, we have found places to release the built-up tension that exists anytime our bodies are in close proximity to one another. I might be biased but the ski lift was the best place, making me the winner of our bet, although I was happily surprised when he hijacked my massage to get a little action. Grant insists it’s not over yet, reminding me that he still has tomorrow. I find myself anticipating what could happen every time we’re together. I know he feels my excitement and suspect he’s enjoying torturing me until he finally takes me.

The dim light of my lamp is lit, and I watch as Grant reads some book regarding management. I’m not about to bother asking if it’s for school or pleasure, because most likely it’s the latter, which completely confuses me. I cuddle up to his chest, letting my fingers graze along his body. There’s something about him in glasses that turns me on. Maybe it’s that he looks so intellectual, and I’m having the whole professor fantasy every girl has. Shifting my leg between his, I start inching closer to his neck. He moves his eyes from the book down to me and I bat my eyelashes, trying to get him interested. “You know we can’t Jessa,” he tells me, turning his attention back to his book.

I begin to give him butterfly kisses across his chest, making my way up to his neck. “Grant,” I say, and he responds with an ‘uh-huh’ while keeping his eyes focused on the book. “Have you ever been in love before?” His body tenses under my touch and he slowly puts the book down on the nightstand. This thought has crossed my mind from time to time, ever since he told me he loved me. He’s never brought up previous girlfriends or any relationships prior to me.

“Why are you asking me?” He removes his arm from behind me and sits up in the bed. It’s obvious that I’ve hit on something and I’m suddenly overcome by curiosity.

“I’m just wondering. I’ve told you about Jason, but you’ve never said anything about anyone.” I follow his body language, sitting up and crossing my legs.

“Was there ever someone else besides Jason?” he asks and I shake my head.

“No. I had a few boyfriends, but Jason was the only one I thought I loved,” I admit.

“Thought?” he smirks, already assuming the answer.

“Yes, thought,” I confirm with a smile, playfully smacking him in the chest.

“Good, that’s what I want to hear,” he says happily, swinging his arms around me, pulling me closer.

“Grant?” I ask again and apprehension flows through me. Since it’s obvious he’s dodging my question, I fear I’m about to find out a hidden secret about him that I may not want to know.

“Jessa, I don’t really want to talk about the past,” he tells me, but he has to know at this point I’m not going to let him brush it aside.

I wiggle out of his arms and sit up, my knees resting along the side of his stomach. “You know I’m not going to stop asking, right?” I cock my eyebrow at him and he grins.

“Yeah, but it was worth a try.” He shrugs his shoulder, exhaling a deep breath. “Are you sure you want to know, Jessa?” he asks, peeking at me through his eyelashes. I nod and surprisingly, he immediately starts talking. “Just like you, I thought I was in love too. I met her my senior year of high school when she’d transferred in.”

“What was her name?” I interrupt him, and he releases an exasperated breath.

“Lizzy,” he reveals. “Anyway, I met her in chemistry class. We ended up being partners. Long story short, I assumed I loved her until…you.” He gives me a small smile, reaches over and kisses me.

“That’s it?” I question, fully aware he’s holding back from me.

“What else is there to say?”

“I don’t know, Grant, maybe, like what happened?” I sarcastically ask him, and he blows his breath out the side of his mouth.

“You want the whole story, don’t you?” he clarifies. I’m never one to take half the truth and wait patiently until the bomb drops on my doorstep. Although, judging by the expression on Grant’s face, I’m terrified that I’ve just walked into a mine field.

He takes a sip from of his water bottle, trying to delay the inevitable. I wait patiently for him to divulge more of his past, praying this is the last of Grant Bishop’s secrets. “Okay…like I said, we met senior year and started dating almost immediately. I think I told her I loved her within two weeks and she said she loved me. Looking back on it now, I guess I was desperate to find someone to love. Losing my mom made me crave love, especially the unconditional kind, and Lizzy gave me what I needed. She didn’t have much family either, just a drug-addicted father and a mother who worked more hours than she was home. We spent all our time together and even talked about marriage after college. Although I had planned on attending Western, she was going to go to community college first.”

He takes another sip of his water and my stomach clenches in anticipation of what he’s going to reveal next. But I’m the one who wanted to know, so I need to face the fact that another girl loved Grant once upon a time. “Her home life started getting bad when her mom got back together with her dad, making Lizzy’s life miserable. Not only was he passed out from being high most of the time, but strange men and women were always hanging around the house. I went over there on more than one occasion, sneaking her out of her bedroom, and we would walk around the block until the party either broke up or everyone passed out for the night.” He stops and stares at me, as though questioning if I’ll be okay once I hear the remaining part of the story.

I place my hand over his. “It’s alright, Grant. I can handle it,” I assure him and he nods.

“Come here,” he requests and I scoot up, letting him hold me. “It was not only the anniversary of my mother’s death, but it was also Super Bowl Sunday. Lizzy had been grounded, but I begged her to come with me to my mom’s gravesite. She was reluctant, but I pushed and prodded until I finally wore her down. I convinced her that her dad would pass out soon and not even notice she was gone. Sneaking her out of her bedroom window, I walked her to my car that was parked down the street. I took her to the gravesite to introduce her to my mom.” He rubs his hand along my shoulder, feeling how tense my body just became. I can’t help but think that he’s never taken
me
there. “We got back to her house and saw that the driveway was empty, so we thought we were in the clear. Lizzy was just going to go in to change and put a pillow under her comforter so we could go to my friend’s party. We only got half-way up the walkway when her dad stepped out. Lizzy stopped and starting walking backward to me. He was higher than I’d ever seen him, and Lizzy seemed scared. He screamed and yelled at both of us, because she wasn’t supposed to leave the house.” Grant shakes his head, as if reliving the memory, but wanting it to stop.

“Lizzy tried to calm him down, but it seemed like whatever she said just got him angrier. Eventually, he slapped her and that’s when I stepped in front of her. He immediately started challenging me. I really tried to keep it together, but hearing Lizzy’s cries behind me, I couldn’t contain myself. Anger at everything he’d put her through seeped into my pores and I started punching him over and over again until Lizzy pulled me off. I told Lizzy to get her stuff, that we were going to leave, and she wouldn’t be coming back. When we walked into the house, her mom was lying on the floor by the couch with blood running from her nose and mouth. Lizzy ran to her in hysterics, falling to her knees, but her mom was already dead. We didn’t know what had happened before we got there, but I called the paramedics and the police.” Grant looks down at me and I give him another reassuring nod.

“When the police came, we were all questioned. The paramedics took her mom’s body away and then her dad was taken to the hospital. Lizzy just sat in the middle of the room, where she rocked back and forth with a blank expression on her face. The police took her to the station and I followed in my car. Since she was already eighteen, she didn’t have to go into foster care, and I thought it’d be the perfect time for us to make a break from Western. But it seemed she had another idea.” His voice is slightly shaky and he pauses for a moment before continuing.

“I went to the bathroom while she was talking to the detectives. When I came out, she was gone. The detective told me that they’d just released her and assumed I’d taken her home. I ran outside to see if she was waiting for me, but the streets were empty. On the windshield of my car, there was a folded-up letter. It pretty much said that I deserved better than her, and that she was leaving town and I shouldn’t look for her. But I knew the real reason. She blamed me for making her sneak out of the house, and how could she not? If I hadn’t been so selfish, she would’ve been home. Of course, I still hopped in my car and drove the streets, but it was as though she had vanished.” He stops talking and takes a deep breath.

“It tore me up, Jessa. She didn’t even come back for her mom’s funeral. I’m not even sure she knows how it all happened. See, her mom died of an overdose, not because of a beating from her father. But her dad still got three years in prison for the drugs they found on him.” He seems dejected, but he gives me a small grin. “Her dad was the man in the diner that night, the one with the dagger tattoo on his arm.” I nod my head, remembering him clearly.

“So you never heard from her again?” I ask, hoping like hell he hasn’t.

“No, and I was messed up for years. Probably all the way up until I met you. It’s what kind of made me not want to fall in love,” he confesses. And although his story breaks my heart, I can’t help but feel pleased to know that I’m the one who brought him back.

“Do you ever think about finding her?” I bite my lip in apprehension of his answer.

“I did for a while, but now…I know what I felt for her might’ve seemed like love, but it wasn’t the ever after kind. You gave me that, Jessa,” he finishes and kisses the top of my head. I can’t hide my happiness as I stare up at his blue eyes that are filled with sorrow but also love…love for me.

Grant

God, it’s such a relief that it’s all out there. No more secrets. Jessa knows everything, and she seems okay with it. I turn off the light and wrap my body around hers. She sighs slightly, and when I hear her faint breathing, I know she’s asleep. I wish I could sleep. You’d think I’d be able to, knowing I’m not keeping anymore secrets from her. Sure, I held back the part where I searched every nearby town for three months after Lizzy left. Or how I was able to sweet talk the lady at the phone company to give me her call logs. I chased all those leads, leaving me with nothing before they went cold completely, and I assumed she’d ditched her phone for a new one.

But Jessa doesn’t need to hear those details. They don’t matter, because I love her. I love her so much more than I ever loved Lizzy. Looking back, Lizzy was a love I was desperate for, not a love I necessarily desired. I just wanted someone to love me, and since Lizzy had so many problems at home, I think I liked being her savior. The feeling of someone needing me made me feel as though I mattered. Of course, the disadvantage to feeling that way is that I was reduced to nothing when she left. How does someone who supposedly loves you so much just up and leave, tearing your heart to shreds?

As much as it killed me when Lizzy left, holding Jessa in my arms reconfirms that it all happened for a reason. It lead me here, with Jessa. I hope Lizzy’s happy with whatever life she’s built for herself, but I need to let her go. If Jessa and I are truly going to make it, I have to release the guilt I’ve been carrying around for these past few years.

I slip my arm out from under Jessa and stand up to make my way to the kitchen. When I turn the corner, I’m surprised to find Brady leaning against the counter. He looks disheveled and worried with his head resting in one hand, while the other twirls a beer bottle around in a circle.

“What are you doing up, man?” I ask him, walking toward the fridge. I grab a bottle of water and lean against the counter across from him.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he answers, not bothering to look up.

“Why not?” I ask and he finally lifts his head. The agony in his eyes is clear.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he says, cocking an eyebrow at me.

“Yeah, but I asked first,” I joke and he gives me an empty laugh.

“You got me there,” he says before adding, “I think it’s time, and I’m kind of freaking out.”

“You lost me, time for what?” I twist the lid off and let the cool water flow down my throat.

“Time to propose to Sadie. I bought the ring a month ago, but haven’t had the nerve to do it.” He starts peeling the label off his full beer bottle.

“You guys are awesome together. I thought you got through all that bullshit?” To say Sadie and Brady’s path to love was hard is an understatement, but they made it. I don’t know what to think now. If Brady’s worried about the two of them, what am I supposed to think about me and Jessa? They were my example of how-to-make-it-to-forever-land.

“What if I end up like one of them? I would never forgive myself for doing that to Sadie.”

“Brady, we aren’t our parents. You have to stop thinking we’ll turn into them. They made their mistakes, and we’ll probably make ours, but not necessarily the same ones. You love Sadie, right?” I ask, already knowing his answer. It’s most likely the same way I feel for Jessa.