Let Me In (16 page)

I wish I would’ve gone to Western to begin with, but like my dad always says,
‘You’re past makes you who you are’
. As Grant grabs my hand, leading us to the rental car, I smile up to him and he grins back. This boy has the possibility to break my heart so much more than Jason ever did. Looking back at Jason and me, I know now that what we had wasn’t love. It wasn’t anything close to what I have with Grant.

They load our bags in the back. Dex and Trey climb into the back, with Kailey stuck in the middle. I feel bad for the poor girl the way they’re fighting for her, like she’s the last piece of cake at a birthday party. Although it does seem that Dex is slowly accepting defeat. From the conversation Sadie and I had with her while the guys were getting the rental car, I know Kailey’s more into Trey, based on the questions she asked us.

She’s cute and shy, and I notice the way she tucks her hair behind her ear while talking with Trey. Dex huffs every few minutes when she gives Trey a flirtatious giggle.

“Seriously, switch seats with me?” Dex leans forward, whispering in my ear.

“No way, man,” Grant answers for me, placing his arm around my shoulders.

“Shithead,” Dex sighs, leaning back in his seat.

Trey and Kailey talk non-stop on the way, while Brady and Sadie start arguing about whether or not to pass a truck. Sadie thinks he shouldn’t, but of course, Brady does it anyway. Just when you think the boy is whipped, he stands up for himself by passing a truck on a highway. Seriously? Sadie rolls her eyes, letting out an annoyed sigh and staring out the window.

“It’s so pretty here,” Sadie remarks. “I can’t believe you were lucky enough to grow up in this area.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of amazing. My parents moved here right after they got married. My dad was a ski bum and my mom was a waitress.” I lean forward and Grant’s hand goes to the small of my back, rubbing circles on the exposed skin above my waistline.

“What did you say your parents do?” Brady asks. Grant instantly stops moving his hand.

“They own a few restaurants,” I tell them. There’s no point in telling them that my dad owns half the restaurants in town. No one else really knows either. My dad keeps it under wraps, making the employees believe they’re owned by different corporations. He says if people knew the truth, the restaurants wouldn’t try hard enough to win the customers over. That they’d think if customers were dissatisfied, they would just go to another restaurant that’s most likely owned by my dad as well.

“That’s cool,” Brady says. “A ski bum turned business man.”

Grants hand moves back to my shoulder. I nuzzle into his neck, giving it a soft kiss. I start to hear Dex lightly snoring and decide to relax into Grant before I get home.

The gut-wrenching fear that I might run into Jason or someone else from my past terrifies me, but I know that I have to face them at some point. I can’t hide out at Western for the rest of my life. Not to mention, I won’t let Jason do that to me. I already let him win when I dropped out of school, moved halfway across the country, and stopped talking to all my friends. As much as the humiliation makes me want to bury myself in a huge hole, it also makes me furious. I wish I could ring Jason’s neck until he crumbles to the ground, begging for mercy and saying he’s sorry. The probability of that happening is unlikely, but the thought brings a smile to my face.

And then there’s Beth. I asked Sam to look her up, and she texted me the number she got from another mutual friend. Sam told them some lie about how she had met up with her one night and was too drunk to type her number into her phone. I laughed at Sam, saying she didn’t have to come up with something so exaggerated, but of course, Sam said it was believable. I haven’t decided if I want to call her yet. Talking to her still might bring back memories I don’t want to fully relive. Not to mention, she might not want to be my friend anymore after how I treated her, and I couldn’t blame her for that.

If those issues aren’t enough, I haven’t told my parents about Grant yet. They met him at Christmas and liked him then, but he wasn’t my boyfriend. I have no idea how they’ll take this news, especially since Jason and Grant appear similar in their extracurricular activities. Grant has shown me though that just because two people may have common interests, it doesn’t mean they’re anything alike. I only hope my parents can see what I see in Grant. He can be a little rough around the edges, but man, the boy has the capacity to love. It takes him awhile to allow people in, but when he does, it’s amazing how quickly he acclimates to it.

If I were to compare the Grant I met a few months ago to the Grant that sits next to me now, I’d say they’re polar opposites. I never would’ve thought he was capable of the love he gives me. He makes me believe in the possibility of a future, and maybe even a happily ever after.

I glance over and see beads of sweat on his forehead and notice that his knuckles are white from clutching the door handle. A smile crosses my lips as I watch this strong man, who could hang by one arm from a cliff, afraid of the mountain roads of Colorado.

“You okay?” I whisper in his ear, cuddling closer.

“Yeah,” he says unconvincingly, staring at the back of Brady’s head with a straight face.

I cuddle up to him some more, putting my head on his shoulder, and he reluctantly puts an arm around me. Despite where we’re headed and who might be there, at this very moment I’m at total peace with who I’m with and where I am.

Grant

If I thought the hills of Pennsylvania were steep, the mountains of Colorado are just plain scary. Brady weaves through the large masses with ease, while I white knuckle the sides of the car. Peering outside the window, my stomach feels sick as I stare down at the slope of the mountain with a metal guardrail that wouldn’t keep a dog from falling over. Trucks speed down the hills and crawl up the inclines. The fact that they have steep gravel inclines for the trucks to go up if they can’t stop scares the crap out of me. The two-hour drive feels more like eight, and I know I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon.

“Relax, it’ll be fine,” Jessa leans in, kissing me on the neck.

I look at her nervously and she belts out a laugh.

My hand hurts from gripping the doorframe by the time we make it to her house. Jessa’s parents walk out to meet us, and this is the first time it crosses my mind that I’m here as her boyfriend, not as a friend. The sweat from the car ride starts dripping down my face with the fear of meeting her parents as her boyfriend. They could hate me and want her to stay away from me. Shit, how did I not think about this before? I should’ve brought flowers or candy to sweeten them up.

Jessa runs to give her mom a fierce hug, then turns to her dad and does the same. The relationship she has with her family is completely foreign to me. She’s such a loving person; I wonder what I did to deserve her.

Her parents hug Brady and Sadie and, following a little behind, Trey and Dex move to shake hands with them. Brady tosses the keys to Trey so he can drive Kailey to where she needs to go, and Jessa gives Kailey her cell number, instructing her to call her during the week so we can all hook up. Trey slyly gives Jessa a thumbs up behind Kailey’s back. I think he really does have something for this girl because I’ve never seen him like this before.

“Dad, Mom, you remember Grant.” Jessa wraps her hand in mind and brings me closer to them, clearly displaying the fact that we’re together.

“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. and Mrs. Harrison.” I offer them my hand and they each take it in turn, looking at me skeptically as though they had no prior knowledge we were dating.

“You too, Grant,” her mom says, nudging Jessa’s dad with her elbow when he doesn’t say anything.

“Yeah, Grant, nice to see you,” her dad finally states while his eyes remain on our entwined hands.

I grab our bags and we all venture into the house. It’s amazing, with high, vaulted ceilings and breathtaking views of the mountains. Mrs. Harrison leads us toward the bedrooms so we can drop off all of our stuff. After we leave Brady, Sadie, and Dex to their rooms, Mrs. Harrison turns down another hallway.

“Here you go, Grant,” she says, opening the door to a nice room with a queen bed. Jessa plops herself on the mattress.

“Thanks, Mom,” she tells her, and I continue to stand in the middle of the room, caught between Jessa on the bed and her mom in the doorway. I know from the glare across her mom’s face that this isn’t going to happen.

“Jessa, may I speak with you?” she asks, giving me a curt smile.

“Sure,” she says and kisses me on the cheek before hopping off the bed and walking over to her mom. Mrs. Harrison shuts the door behind them and I take the time to unpack my bag.

A few minutes later, Jessa comes back in the room, clearly distraught.

“What did she want?” She walks up to me and wraps her arms around my waist.

“She doesn’t think I should stay with you.” She buries her head in my chest and I place my hand on her head, holding her.

“That’s okay, we don’t need to sleep in the same bed,” I inform her, but meanwhile it feels like I’ve just been stabbed by a knife. Is it even possible for me to sleep without her next to me?

“I don’t know why she’s acting like this. I think maybe it’s because I’m finally back home. She’s being protective,” she informs me.

“Hey, I have no problem with her protecting you. I just need to convince your parents that we’re on the same team.” I bring her face up to mine and bend down to kiss her.

Jessa helps me unpack my bag, saying she’ll finish with hers later when she’s alone in her room, pining over me. I smile and take her hand, leading her out of the safe confines of my room. I guess I know one thing I have to do this week and that’s talk to Mr. Harrison, explaining my intentions.

We wander into the intimidating great room, with its lofty ceiling and large brick fireplace that travels from ceiling to floor. Even more unnerving, however, is the man who is currently sitting in the room, sipping a dark liquor and reading a magazine.

Jessa’s father looks up at us and I can’t ignore the falter of his smile when he sees our hands clasped together. “Hi, Dad,” Jessa says, directing us to the couch. “What are you reading?”

“
Sports Illustrated
,” he says and gives her a small smile before returning his attention to the magazine.

This is my chance, I think to myself. Sports are definitely my thing. “Do you think the Rockies will make it all the way this year? I heard Jack Colton from ESPN predicts they might have a chance if the trade goes through,” I inform him, making it known that I’m an avid sports fan.

He picks his head up and glares my way for a second. I continue holding my breath with the anticipation of his response. “Even without the trade, they’ll win. But we aren’t fair-weather fans in this family, Grant. Win or lose, the Rockies are our team.” I’m thankful he said something, but also feel like there’s some hidden message in that comment.

“I love Ryan Yolks!” Jessa spouts and her dad and I chuckle.

“You like Yolks, huh?” I ask her and she beams over to me, grabbing my hand. “What was his batting average last year?”

“It doesn’t matter, but I imagine with an ass like that, he hits a lot of home runs.” She cozies up to my shoulder. “Not as many as you though,” she whispers in my ear, and I shift uncomfortably, not ignorant to her dad’s prying eyes.

“Jessa’s never been one for sports,” her dad chimes in.

“I gathered that. When she comes to my basketball games, she plays with her phone every second I’m not on the court,” I tell him and Jessa giggles.

“I’m only there to watch you. You should be happy I don’t care about those other frat boys,” she jokingly remarks and her dad quickly picks up his head. His eyes bore into me, but I’m not sure what I did.

“You’re in a fraternity?” he hisses. Jessa quickly squeezes my hand harder.

“Yes, he is, Dad,” she answers for me and I detect the newfound worry on her face.

“Hmm…” He stands up and walks out of the room.

“What was
that
about, Jessa?” I ask her.

She starts nibbling on her bottom lip, which usually drives me crazy, but now I just want her to tell me what the hell is going on. “My ex was in a fraternity,” she reveals and my mouth drops. Holy shit, this just got a whole lot more complicated.

“You never mentioned that,” I say.

“What did it matter?” she asks, starting to take a more defensive stance.

“It didn’t until I came here. Of course your parents hate me. I probably remind them of him,” I say to her, still not able to say that asshole’s name.

“They need to let it go.” She stands up, walking to the mantel above the fireplace.

“Jessa,” I sigh, getting up to join her. “You have to see…” I stop mid-sentence when my eyes land on the perfectly placed picture frames. “Who is this?” I pick up a picture of a girl with dark hair and piercing hazel eyes.

“Me,” she shyly admits. “I may have…re-invented myself when I came to Western.” She stares directly at me, as if anticipating my response.

“You look…different,” I mumble and she glares over at me.

“Better? More attractive?” she sarcastically jabs and I wish I could take back my previous statement.

“No, God no!” I shriek.

“What then Grant?” Her eyes narrow at me, and I know I’ve pissed her off.

“You look beautiful in this picture,” I tell her, holding it up in the air. “But I like you like this.” I place my hand along her cheek.

“Really?” she questions. I wish I could reassure her somehow, but she’ll have to believe it herself.

“Yes, Jessa. It’s not your hair, your tattoos, or your piercings. You have such a big heart and you love so easily. I’m envious. I didn’t fall in love with the way you look; I fell in love with this part of you.” I move my hand over her heart.

“You do?” She looks down at my hand and then back to my face. Her hopeful eyes make me realize she still doubts me.

“Jessa,” I sigh, taking her hands in mine. “Of course I love you,” I say again and she unexpectedly jumps into my arms.

“I love you, too,” she whispers in my ear and kisses my neck.

The urge to take her right here in front of the fireplace is tempting. I wish I could lay her down on this floor and trace my fingers down her body with my lips following close behind. The thought of entering her with her softly telling me she loves me as I stare into her alluring eyes is more than I can bear at the moment.

“Do you really mean it?” She tips her head back to look in my eyes. The insecurity I see leaves a pit in my stomach. I’m either doing a crappy job of showing her how much she means to me, or that jackass did a bigger number on her than I originally thought.

“Yes, Jessa. So much…it hurts,” I answer.

“It’s not supposed to hurt, Grant,” she says, placing her hands on either side of my face. “It’s supposed to make you feel whole.”

“That’s why it hurts. You do make me feel whole and unbroken, but it’s the thought of my demons breaking it apart that hurts so fucking bad.”

“Don’t think like that. It’s not going to happen with us. You’re stuck with me,” she says with a smile, displaying her perfect teeth. I can’t hold off any longer. I need to feel her lips on mine and her tongue in my mouth.

I lick her bottom lip, begging her to let me enter, and she opens up for me like always. With my hands on her ass holding her against me, I delve my tongue into her mouth and she instantly responds. Her hands move to the back of my head and I know she wants me to continue. The craving for her escalates within me and suddenly my mind is only consumed with her soft lips, her moist tongue, and her firm ass. I start trailing my lips down her jaw to her neck and she moans lightly, holding my head against curve of her neck. “Don’t ever leave me, Jessa,” I murmur.

“Never,” she responds, gripping me tighter. “I’m yours…always.” I pull her firmly against me, and she whimpers when she feels how much I want her.

“Excuse me.” Mrs. Harrison’s voice abruptly reminds me where I am and I drop Jessa automatically. Luckily, she lands on her feet before wiping her mouth and looking in her mom’s direction.

“Sorry, Mom. We got a little carried away,” she apologizes. Jessa appears unfazed that her mom just caught us making out in their living room. Casually, she walks over to her mom, while I discretely attempt to adjust myself to conceal my erection.

Mrs. Harrison remains quiet and then runs her hand over Jessa’s hair when Jessa reaches her. “You’re lucky it was me,” she smiles at her daughter. Jessa glances my way and then back to her mom and grins.

“I know.” She giggles and leans against her mom, letting her wrap her arms around her.

“It’s good to have you home. It’s been too long.” She kisses her temple.

“Thanks, Mom,” Jessa says. “It feels good to be home.”

I feel like an outsider watching them. It’s as though I’m staring through a window into a world I know nothing about. Jessa has this amazing family who loves and accepts her fully, so much that they want to protector her from me. I’m happy Jessa was raised in this environment, but I can’t help but worry I’m going to ruin everything for her. Can I give her a perfect loving family like the one she already has? Can I give her a future with the unconditional love she so deeply deserves?

“Grant?” Jessa stands in front of me and I blink, pushing the negative thoughts away.

“Sorry, what’s up?” I ask her and see her eyes filling with concern.

“Are you okay?” She puts her hand in mine and I stare down at her, wondering when this happened. I never saw her coming. She took me by surprise, like a cinder block to the head. This feeling of having something I could lose is so foreign to me. But I know I’ll never be the same whether I’m with or without her, so I might as well enjoy the happiness while it lasts.

“Nothing, baby,” I tell her, bending down and kissing her lips.

Her skeptical eyes stare intently at mine for a few seconds before she smiles up to me.

“Everyone’s waiting, let’s go,” she says, guiding me out of the room.

“Where?” I question.

“Dinner. Didn’t you hear my mom?” She looks up at me again. I must’ve been really deep in thought.

Everyone is seated around the long, rectangular table, including Jessa’s sister, Samantha. Now that I’ve seen the younger version of Jessa in the picture on the mantle, I can easily recognize their similarities.

“Hi, Grant!” she exclaims, standing up to greet me.

“Hi, Samantha,” I respond as her arms wrap around me, bringing me into a tight hug.