Let It Snow (62 page)

Finn caught Sully's eye and motioned his head as an invitation to join them on the sofa. "What do you think, Sully?"

"Almost perfect. So much better than I dared hope for. She was focused entirely on you. While I'd like to think that was because she trusts you completely, I suspect it was more because subconsciously, she knew I was here and it was safe to let go."

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought too, and I'm good with that. Whatever it takes, right?"

Sully tapped his finger on his chin. "Yeah. You'll do."

"Cheeky fuck."

"I'm going to go rest on the fainting couch for a while. I want to be wide awake for the evening's entertainment. If I can't play, I intend to collect plenty of wank-fodder."

Finn hugged Mac a little tighter and buried his nose in her hair as he murmured, "How are you doing, baby? Are you awake yet?"

"I did good?"

"You were perfect, sweetheart. How do you feel?"

"Relaxed."

Finn chuckled. "Yes, you are." He gently tapped her temple with his index finger. "But what about in here?"

"Quiet."

"Excellent."

"I don't think I want to play at the party."

"It's all up to you. Do you want to sit and watch like last time, or do you need to be completely away from it?"

"I want to watch. I'm not up for others seeing me vulnerable."

"Whatever you need. Now rest for a bit."

***

With such a successful afternoon in the playroom, that night Finn decided to push a little harder. "Mac, it's time for you to get used to us being naked and touching. I know you don't feel safe playing naked, so we won't. But from now on, unless you safeword, we sleep naked and shower together. That means washing each other."

"You don't mean right now, do you?"

"Yes, I mean right now."

"Can't we wait until tomorrow so I can have some time to get used to the idea?"

"No. You're more likely to work yourself up and talk yourself out of it. You'll undress me, but I'll let you remove your own clothes." Finn placed his hand at the small of Mac's back and urged her towards the bathroom. "Come on, love, time to go." Mac shuffled in front of him, but stopped in the bathroom doorway. "Colour, Mac?"

"Yellow."

"Okay. What do you need?"

Mac clenched and unclenched her fists a few times before responding. "I need a minute."

"Okay, take all the time you need." Finn traced lazy circles up and down her back until she resumed her trek to the shower. "So brave, sweetheart. Here's your only choice. Do you want to undress me first, or yourself. You don't need to speak. Your choice will be reflected in your actions."

Finn watched as Mac's face contorted with indecision. Relief washed over him when she didn't safeword, but instead reached forward, grasped the bottom of his t-shirt and lifted it. He beamed at her as he bent down so she could get it over his head and free of his arms. "You're doing great, love."

Mac dropped the shirt on the floor, and after a few false starts, she managed to fumble the button of Finn's jeans open. Her fingers trembled as she slid the zipper down, and she took a sharp intake of breath when she discovered he wasn't wearing underwear. She finally slipped his jeans to his ankles and off each foot. He stood naked before her, humbled by her triumphant grin. "Nicely done, sweetness. I'll get the shower warmed up and you can join me once you're undressed."

Finn monitored Mac's progress through the frosted glass of the shower stall, ready to deal with any sign of hesitance or indecision. He was pleased that, while slow, her progress was steady. He opened the door for her just as she reached it. "In you come, baby. The water is nice and warm." Finn shifted and Mac stepped into the spray.

"Let's get your hair wet so I can wash it first. Then I'll wash your body while we let the conditioner work its magic." Finn massaged Mac's scalp as he shampooed her hair. Her moans of pleasure were almost enough to send him over the edge.

"Let's rinse, then we'll condition." Mac tipped her head back, eyes closed and held still until the water ran clear down her back.

Finn caressed her cheek. "Time for conditioner, love." He worked the conditioner into her hair with the same care as he had the shampoo. When he was sure her hair was completely slathered, he guided her out of the spray. "Stand there. I want your feet shoulder width apart and then I want you to stay perfectly still. I'll move you as needed.

Mac nodded and Finn grabbed a wash-cloth and loaded it with shower gel. He started at her neck and lathered his way across her left shoulder, down her arm to her fingertips. He returned to her neck and did the same for her right side. "I'm going to do your back now, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good girl." Finn moved behind her and rubbed the cloth side to side from her neck to the top of her buttocks. "It's time to do your bum now, love. Deep breath, and let it out slowly."

Mac did as she was told. She flinched a little as Finn rubbed her tender cheeks, but held her ground. Finn wasn't surprised when she tensed as he began to ease her buttocks apart. "Another deep breath, Mac. You're doing great. Washing your body is all that's going to happen to you. I promise." Mac took another deep breath, and her muscles relaxed a little as she let it out. "Good girl. I'm going to do your front now."

Finn moved to face her and started at her neck again, this time, working down her chest. She seemed relatively calm, so he lingered over her breasts for a moment, purposely avoiding her nipples. He felt a jolt of satisfaction as her nipples puckered and she let out a frustrated groan. He continued his journey south, stopping just shy of her pubis.

"Okay, gorgeous, we're in the home stretch. I'm going to do your legs now, but I'm going to start at your toes and work my way up. You can place a hand on the wall if you feel unsteady."

Finn crouched at Mac's feet. He lifted her left and washed it thoroughly before moving up her leg until he was nearly at the top. He did the same to the other and then rose to face her. "Remember, sweetheart, I'm just washing you. Nothing more. Okay?"

"Yeah."

Finn kept his eyes on Mac's as he slipped his hands between her legs. Her mouth opened slightly and she closed her eyes as he gently spread her pussy lips between his thumb and forefinger, letting them brush against her clit. He held them open while he used the cloth in his other hand to wash her. When she tried to tilt her pelvis towards the cloth, he pulled it away. "There, all done. Time to get you all rinsed off now, love."

Finn guided her back under the spray. "Well done, Mac. You may do whatever you need to get rid of all the soap, but don't spend too long on your pussy. You don't have my permission to do anything more than rinse it. Clear?"

"Clear."

"Good. Once you're done, it's your turn to wash my body. You may do it any way you want, but you must wash my entire body."

Mac's lip quivered. "Everything?"

"Everything. You'll be fine. You have safewords. Use them if you need them." He was glad that Mac didn't dawdle over rinsing. He was anxious to get her to bed and move on to the next part of his plan.

While she clearly struggled with a lot of the things they did together, her determination to conquer her fears was inspiring. It was this tenacity that convinced him she could, and would, heal enough for them to enjoy a normal, healthy sex life together. He wasn't a fool, he knew it was going to take a lot more time and patience, but the deeper she burrowed into his heart, the more confident he felt she was worth it.

Mac's hands on his chest brought Finn back from his thoughts. "Done?"

"Yeah. I'm ready to wash you now."

"First, this." Finn took Mac's face in his hands and kissed her gently. "I am proud of you, sweetness. We're almost done."

"Finn, can you close your eyes while I do this? I've never done this, not even before...I think I might find it easier if you aren't watching me."

"Whatever you need, as long as you do it, or safeword."

"Thanks. Can you bend down a bit so I can reach your head?"

Finn settled himself on the floor of the shower, eyes closed, kneeling up in front of Mac so she could easily reach his head to wash his hair. She was quick, but thorough, and his scalp felt tingly when she was done. She took the same cloth Finn used, and added more shower gel. She washed as much of his upper-body as she could comfortably reach before asking him to rise.

Mac's hands over his body sent Finn's cock into over-drive. She came to an abrupt halt just above his navel, and concerned, he opened his eyes and looked down at her. "Honey, it's just a body part. No different than my foot, or my toe, or my hand, or my nose."

"It can hurt me."

"It can, but if you don't want it to, I won't let it. I promise. My hand hurt you today, but only because you said it could. Same thing with my penis. In case you haven't noticed, it's been like this pretty much since I opened the door the night we met. And while it's generally in charge of whether it's up or down, I'm in charge of everything else. Do you trust me to do everything I can to keep you safe?"

"Yeah. It's just sometimes I get freaked out."

"I know, and that's okay. We're going to have a lot of ups and downs, both good and bad. As long as somewhere deep inside, you trust that I'll do everything in my power to keep you as safe as Sully does, then everything is going to be fine. I promise."

"You make a lot of promises."

"Only those I can keep. Are you ready to continue?"

"Yes. Close your eyes again, please."

Finn closed his eyes and it took everything he had to keep from coming when she lathered his balls and stroked the sudsy cloth up and down his shaft. Finn reached down and touched her hand. "Mac, fair warning, if you keep that up, I'm going to come, and I don't think you're ready for that. I'm clean enough.

"What if I want to make you come?"

"That's very generous of you, but I think we'll leave that for another time. Now, let's get finished. I'm tired and would like to get to bed soon."

Mac finished up fairly quickly. Finn wasn't surprised that once she'd got past the part of his body she was most scared of, the rest was easy. "Well done, love. You can enjoy the shower while I dry off. Then, when you come out, I'll towel you off and blow your hair dry."

A whole feckin' week without an orgasm. Mac was feeling needy, and Finn, the bastard, seemed to always know when she was on the verge of taking the edge off. Every time she thought she'd sneak away, he diverted her attention to something else. She was sure she really would go crazy if she didn't get some relief soon. She finally stopped complaining about it when he warned her he'd make her wait an extra day for every time she brought the subject up. That wasn't a chance she was willing to take.

To make matters worse, he touched her everywhere except where she really wanted. He would always get so close she thought it would happen, then poof, gone. It was like he had sexual attention deficit disorder.

She'd hoped giving him an orgasm in the shower every night might encourage him to reciprocate, but every time she tried, he stopped her. Then he'd wait until she was finished washing him, before giving himself an orgasm and making her rewash his lower body. Fucker.

Mac was greeted by a far too cheerful Finn as she entered the kitchen.

"Good morning. How come you're scowling, love?"

Mac pasted an insincere smile to her face. "I'm not scowling. I'm a happy, happy girl." His chuckle brought her scowl back before she could to stop it.

Finn held out a mug. "Come and get some tea, grumpy-girl." Mac grudgingly accepted the tea and sat at the table.

Finn sat in the chair beside her and took a long sip of his coffee. "Mac, it's time to talk about some things. I need to know if you can put the grumpy on hold for a few minutes or so." Mac shrugged, then nodded. "That wasn't very convincing, love. Wanna try again?"

"Yes. What do you want to talk about?"

"Let's start with Christmas. Sully says you spend it alone every year."

"Not quite, I have Gounod. That's how I like it, and that's how it's going to stay."

"I host an afternoon gathering and pot-luck supper for friends who would otherwise spend it alone. I cook a turkey and everyone else brings the fixings. You're on dessert. Please, for the love of everything that's holy, don't make it yourself. Store-bought will be fine.

"Maybe you didn't hear me. I spend my Christmas with Gounod, so you'll have to assign store-bought dessert to someone else."

"I did hear you, sweetness. Christmas is three days away, we have a concert tomorrow night, and Gounod is here. You're both settled. Is spending a lonely Christmas in your house with only Gounod for company worth uprooting the two of you for a single night?"

"Who says it would be only one night? My obligation to Dominant Cord is over when the last note has been played tomorrow night."

"Sweetheart, you sleep here because we're going steady, which is not limited to your time with Dominant Cord. We like each other, we trust each other, and we agreed to do whatever is necessary to give whatever this is we have, a real shot. I know it's scary. But it's just the next scary thing in the long line of scary things you've faced in recent weeks."

"I don't know."

"That's an improvement on no. How about we call this yellow for now. You can take some time with it, and if it's still yellow in the morning, then we'll see if we can come up with changes we can both live with. Okay?"

Mac felt miserable. She was mixed up. She'd spent so many Christmases alone, it was what she was comfortable with, but she couldn't lie to herself. Every one of those lonely Christmases had her wishing she had someone special she could spend it with. Sully was wonderful, but she relied on him too much as it was, she couldn't allow her hangups and problems to taint Christmas with his family. "Okay, let's hold off until the morning."

"Good. Next order of business. Play party tonight."

"I won't be playing."

"Okay. Can we have a small scene this afternoon?"