Lessons In Being A Flapper (23 page)

Instead of just walking away, I hissed “what are you doing here?” at him to which he replied he had been sent by Marisol to “scout out” the place. It seemed
she had also asked him to join the Valentine’s Day Ball committee too, seeing as he was unemployed and sulking. Obviously, this was all one big ploy to get us back together but that was
so
not going to happen.

I sat down next to Iris again and listened as the ladies chatted animatedly about how sexy Bayani was (sexy?? Did women their age really think about sex still?)
I really didn’t want to hear the women discuss what they’d do to him if they were younger so I began smashing red and blue dots all over my bingo board.

“Whateve
r are you doing?” one lady to my left asked.

“She must be going crazy with lust, Agnes. Happens to all of us,” another said, patting my hand reassuringly.

Yes, that’s it. Of course it was.

“
P
lease, let me walk you home,” Bayani pleaded after the bingo game commenced. I didn’t get any information from the players so I’d have to go back again next week to try again – hopefully without all the distractions.

“No. I’m fine. I’m a big girl I can handle myself.”

“But it’s dark and it’s a long walk alone.”

“It’s less than 10 minutes. I’m sure I won’t be kidnapped or mugged or taken for ransom. God, you’re starting to sound like my mother!”

“Fine. I’ll just walk with you then. There’s nothing you can do to stop me from walking on a public street.” I picked up my pace as did he. Obviously he wasn’t going to let me win this but I was going to make him get a workout in the process.

“So…How’s Noah? Are you happy with him?” he asked tentatively, as I continued walking faster and faster until I was almost jogging which was ridiculously hard in heels and a dress.

I didn’t want to answer. Truth was I never called Noah and had thrown his number out as soon as I left Marisol’s room. I didn’t have any interest in him no matter how cute and kind he was. He wasn’t Bayani. I wouldn’t admit this to the man to my left, of course, but it was true.

“He’s fine. We’re fine,” I said instead.

“Good. That’s…good. I’m glad for you. You deserve to be happy.”

“What’s this all about, Bayani? You break my heart and then try to make it sound like you want me back—“

“That’s because I DO want you back but obviously you’ve moved on so I’ll stop trying. I just want you to be happy and —“

“I AM!” I cut him off, yelling on the busy street like a lunatic. “I’m almost home. I can take it from here. Thanks for looking out for me.”

I didn’t look at him as I said this because my tears were falling like a dripping faucet. I didn’t want him to see me like this and had to get rid of him quickly. I waved my hand in the air and said “Just go. Please,” before picking up my pace yet again and running all the way to my door. I opened it quickly and collapsed in a heap on the sofa, not caring how loud my sobs were.  I just wanted him back. More than anything. But I knew that it wasn’t meant to be.

O
n January 19
th
I woke with a start. I felt like my head weighed a million pounds and my body had no intentions of moving. My grief was literally swallowing me whole. A knock on the door jolted me up but I couldn’t be bothered to answer. It was probably Esteban or one of those traveling salesmen. God knows no one else knocks on my door.

The knocking continued so I was forced to get up and see who was there. I pulled back the door only to be blinded by sunlight reflecting off the jewelry on my visitor.

“Jesus! What are you trying to do? Blind me before you rob me?” I said, not fully knowing who was in front of me because I was seeing stars. Everywhere. That’s why I don’t answer the door. You never know what kind of nutcase is waiting on the other side.

“Of course not! My God, are you OK? You look like hell!”

I knew that voice. It was Jeanette. Had she come to apologize or had she come to insist that I pay for the damage Clara did to her house last month?

“Listen, I know I haven’t been around much and I’m sorry but I really didn’t want to get in the middle of a battle between you and Sophie. After all I really, really need my job. If she saw me taking sides I’d be out on my ass in a matter of minutes.”
That explained why she hadn’t checked on me or said hello that last day in the office but it didn’t excuse her behavior. I was still pretty livid over the whole thing.

“I know you’re probably still pissed at me and trust me I wasn’t about to come here today – I was trying to give you time to adjust before coming by. But, here I am. I made a promise that I’d deliver this by 1 o’clock today,” Jeanette said, offering me a box
wrapped in pretty silver paper. “You have to open it now. Those are orders from the person who gave it to me. I’m not trying to be demanding or anything.”

I took the box
from her hand and pulled her in for a hug. Even though I was mad with her, I understood where she stood. She had told me before how much the job at
Fashion and Flare
meant to her and supporting her family was her main priority. Her parents were immigrants and didn’t have much money, so she was caring for them with the money she made from the magazine. Losing that job would be the beginning of the end for her.

“So, are you going to open it?” she said, with what I thought was a little bit of apprehension. There was no marking or card so I had no indication who sent her with this mysterious package but I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like its contents, no matter how shiny the wrapping paper was. I dug my nails around the edges and removed the silver paper in one smooth move. The box was long and flat. It was sealed well so I had a little bit of difficulty opening it but finally
it budged and I was able to lift the cover.

“Oh my God!” Jeanette exclaimed as I took out a diamond heart necklace on a dainty gold chain. I felt my eyes welling up with tears as I looked at it and realized it was from Bayani. There was also a small album inside containing photos of us on each of our dates.
How had he gotten these? I wondered as I flipped through pages showing us at the tree lighting on Pier 39 and at the restaurant on Forbes Island. There were even photos of us on Thanksgiving and in various New York locations.  It was all too much.

“There’s something else,” Jeanette said, producing an envelope from her pocket and handing it to me. “He said to let you read that alone but I can stay if you want me to. I know it will be hard to hear anything from him right now.”

I simply nodded my head and sat down, wiping my tears on my sweatshirt sleeve. I then opened the letter and read it, not expecting all that it said.

“
Dear Autumn,

I know I’m the last person you want to hear from but I just had to tell you a few things before it’s too late.

First off, I hope you like the necklace and photo album. I was going to give them to you on Valentine’s Day but there’s no point of saving them for that date as you’ve moved on and I must do the same.  I picked the necklace out in New York after I saw you admiring it through the window of Golden Treasures. I thought it was perfect for you and I know you will look beautiful wearing it.

I can’t bare to think of you with anyone else but I suppose I must get used to it now. I messed up and I’m deeply sorry but in all honesty, it’s not what you think at all. I hope that one day I’ll be able to tell you the truth.

In the meantime, I’m going to go away for a while. I’m not sure when I’ll be back but I wanted you to know that I’ll be thinking of you every second of every day even if you’re not thinking of me. I’ve told Marisol of my plans and though she doesn’t agree with them, she did say that you’re more than capable of handling the Valentine’s Day Ball by yourself. I wish I could be there to see how it comes out but I can’t. I know you’ll do an amazing job though, as you do with everything.

Take care of yourself and please remember that I didn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you. I love you more than I can express and seeing you with someone else will only make things harder for me. It’s best if I move on and start fresh somewhere else.

Please forgive me for ruining things.

I love you, now and always.

Bayani x

After I’ve stopped crying enough to form words, I ask Jeanette if she knew that he was leaving.

“No, of course not. I mean it seemed kind of weird that he wanted this delivered today at a certain time but I didn’t think anything of it.”

“So what do I do now?” I wailed as she pulled me to her and rubbed my back like a mother would.

“I don’t know, Autumn. I just don’t know.”

A
fter Jeanette left I sat on down with Clara and tried to watch TV, although in all honesty it was probably watching me more than I was watching it. The letter from Bayani and the subsequent weeping had left me so worn out that I could barely keep my eyes open. As much as I wanted to call or stop by Marisol’s and find out where he was going to, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything at all. I knew at this point that I had made a major mistake in not believing what Bayani had said. Sophie and he probably weren’t doing anything bad when I called and she was probably just trying to test me by making bitchy comments. It worked, that’s for sure.

The following morning I got up
early (even though my body was begging for more sleep) and did my usual run with Clara. Since we were doing it earlier than usual, most places were closed. We’d pass a café here or there that was open but for the most part the city was still engulfed in a beautiful and peaceful silence.

I had plans to go see Marisol today. She had been released from the hospital last week and although I went to see her almost daily, I hadn’t been
over in two days. I wanted to check in on her and make sure she was taking her medication and I also wanted to know just how much she knew about Bayani and where he went. I really can’t believe that he up and left. I mean, yes, I wanted to hurt him just a little because he had hurt me but now I know how childish I was being. Deep down, I really didn’t want to hurt him at all. I wanted to hold him tight and never let him go again. And now thanks to my own stupidity and need to prove that he never really cared about me, I’ll never get the chance to tell him how sorry I am.

When I arrive at Marisol’s I don’t even notice the car in the driveway or hear the tinny voice coming from the kitchen. I just walk
ed in as usual and unleashed Clara. She bounded off towards the kitchen and I followed. I assumed that’s where Marisol will be holed up this morning. I’m stopped dead in my tracks though when I see Sophie standing near the stove looking like death warmed over. She’s not one to do minimalist so something must be seriously wrong. I want to turn around and run for the door but I know that would be the cowardly thing to do. Instead, I continue on and offer my hello to her before checking on Marisol.

“Hi Autumn. I didn’t think you’d be around here so early so I came by before work,” Sophie said, looking a little apologetic.

“It’s fine. I just came to see Marisol but seeing as she looks good and has you, there’s no need for me to be here now. I’ll come back later.”

“No. Stay,” Sophie exclaimed, grabbing my hand. “Please. I think we need to talk about some...things.”

Do we ever! But in all honesty, I don’t want to talk to her. She purposely ruined the best thing in my life and no excuse can make up for that. Looking at her in her gym shorts and t-shirt, I knew there was something she wanted to get off her chest. I might as well be the better person this time around and let her tell me whatever it was before I made assumptions. You know how far that got me last time around!

“Fine. I’ll be in the sitting room.” I walk away and let Sophie and Marisol finish their conversation. The sitting room is clean and neat as always but seems far too big for one 99-year-old woman. I wonder how much longer Marisol plans to stay in this house. Not that I think she should leave but it might make sense for her to downsize a bit. There’s just so much house here for one woman to keep up.

A few minutes pass before Sophie comes in and sits on the chair across from me. I fold my legs up under myself and look at her, long and hard. She doesn’t look happy. If she won Bayani she should be ecstatic, but it’s obvious that she’s not.

“So what’s up?” I ask.

“Autumn, I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am for ruining things for you with Bayani. I think I was just so jealous that he loved you and cared for you so deeply. I didn’t think it was possible for him to have fallen so hard so fast, which is why I tried to pull him away from you. The more I tried, the more he resisted. He even told me, flat out, on numerous occasions that you were it for him so I should just move on. Of course, I couldn’t. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and I honestly hated you for taking him from me. So when my little brother got sick – he has cancer – I took him to Bayani’s because I know he is the most doting person around. I didn’t want anyone at work to know about the situation because I need to keep up my image there but Bayani knew and I trusted him not to tell anyone. He helped me to care for my brother and then he fell asleep on the couch. When you called I had been asleep too – on the floor – but took the opportunity to hurt you by making you think we were doing something we weren’t. I don’t know why I did it but I know that it was wrong and ultimately, it cost me more than I realized. At least Bayani was my friend before but now…well, now he’s quit his job, gone into his shell and taken off on some bizarre excursion because he can’t stand to see you with someone else—“