Leaving Eva (The Eva Series Book 1) (3 page)

PUSH?!

Ellie started to cry uncontrollably. The needle in her hand was pinching, and the sharpness in her belly was unbearable. Her skin felt dirty and the inside of her mouth, slimy. Ellie didn’t know how she was going to push.

“
I can’t!” she cried, her voice breaking. “I can’t do it! I’m so tired and I need to sleep. I just can’t, please don’t make me.” Ellie’s youth was apparent, and the nurse was filled with pity.

The nurse squeezed her hand speaking in short, clear sentences so that the girl would understand her through the pain. “You need to push. Now. Or you and the baby will be in danger. I am here for you. You can do this!”

“I can’t, I can’t!” Ellie cried. Her belly was exploding but she didn’t have the strength to push. “Please no, please! I can’t do it!”

The nurse took her face in her hands and looked her in the eyes. Then Ellie’s tears suddenly stopped. She thought she had never seen eyes like the nurse’s before. They were a deep well of blue gray, and were staring deep into Ellie, calming her. Ellie didn’t understand why, but she felt better, stronger.

“I am with you!” the nurse said in a strong lovely voice, never taking her eyes off her for a minute. “You. Can. Do. This! You. Will. Do. This.”

The room was silent for a moment.

“Okay!” the doctor said breaking through the stillness, “Let’s do this, young lady. Push!”

Ellie pushed down as hard as she could while gritting her teeth.

She held tightly to the nurse’s hand, absorbing her strength. “Puuuuuuuuush,” the nurse said in Ellie’s ear, holding it out as long as she could. Over and over, they did this, allowing Ellie to catch her breath for a moment until they made her do it again.

Ellie was sweating and panting and she could feel that her armpits were moist and warm. She was tearing apart from the inside and she screamed, loud and long. Just when she thought she couldn’t do it any longer, she heard a cry.

Thank God! It
was finally out!

The other nurses quickly whisked the baby away while Ellie’s nurse squeezed her hand and hugged her hard. Through the haze of exhaustion, Ellie could hear the other nurses in the room whispering in hushed voices. The nurse looked at Ellie, wearing an expression that the girl couldn’t read. “You did a wonderful job,” she said to Ellie smiling under her mask, her beautiful blue-gray eyes glistening. Ellie looked up and smiled weakly. The nurse hurried over to the other nurses with the baby.

“I’m going to push on your belly, and you will feel pressure while we get the placenta out,” the doctor said. Ellie was so tired that she didn’t care. She just wanted to sleep. Her eyes were closing uncontrollably and she was drifting.
Momma, I miss you. I wish you were here to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

Ellie felt as if she were dreaming about the last time that she saw Momma. She could see them standing in the foyer of their big house and Daddy was yelling. Momma was standing behind him sobbing loudly, but nodding in agreement. Ellie felt tears on her cheeks.
I miss you both so much.

Ellie heard a tiny cry. She quickly opened her eyes, feeling her heartbeat quicken.
My baby
! “How is my baby?” She said weakly.

“She’s doing pretty well. Her Apgar is a little lower than we like, but we will just keep an eye on her,” one of the nurses she had not met said brightly. “She is five lbs., two ounces, and nineteen inches long!”

Apgar? What is that?
“Is that good?” Ellie didn’t understand.

“Your baby is a little on the smaller side, but we will just have to teach you how to fatten her up. Do you want to see her?” Ellie heard her nurse’s voice, and she felt better. She felt lost without her and was relieved that her nurse was still there. The shift had already changed over once, but her nurse stayed with her.

Ellie’s nurse knew her shift had been over hours ago, but she couldn’t leave. She was drawn to Ellie’s helplessness in a way that didn’t happen with all of her patients. She had two daughters to go home to, and she would never want them to be as alone as Ellie. She had been a nurse for a long time and was typically a favorite amongst the patients because of her compassion and sincerity and this time was no different. Something inside of her told her that Ellie would need her, and she wasn’t ready to leave just yet.

“Yes! Yes! Please, let me see my baby!” Ellie suddenly felt eager and excited for the first time since she found out she was pregnant.

It was a girl! Her heart was full of pride and happiness at the thought of having a daughter. Ellie hadn’t even allowed herself to think of the baby as a person referring only to as
it
in her mind. And now she felt a flutter in her chest, suddenly realizing that her baby was real and she could actually hold her.

My baby!
Ellie was no longer tired and suddenly nothing else mattered than to see and hold her baby.

Her nurse brought the tiny bundle to Ellie and laid it in her arms. She arranged Ellie’s arms around her daughter, holding her own hands over hers for a moment as if to seal them there. “Here’s your sweet girl,” her nurse said smiling. The nurse never grew tired of this moment, and wrote it in her heart every time she introduced the parents to their children.

Ellie took a deep breath and looked into the blanket.
Oh my! She’s so small!

The baby’s face was dark and wrinkled with tiny lips that were slightly purple and puckered. Ellie tentatively pulled the blanket back and reached for her tiny fingers. One by one she touched them staring at each one for long moments. “So perfect!”
she sighed, her voice barely audible.

Each tiny fingernail amazed her, and Ellie was in awe. The baby’s skin was so soft, like rose petals, and when she pulled her close and nuzzled those round cheeks, she could smell her sweet fresh innocence. Ellie prayed she would always be that way. She breathed the baby in, enjoying her daughter’s newness and reveling in the beauty that was somehow created in her own body.

Ellie was in love.

She shyly pulled off the little hat and tentatively touched the soft dark billowy hair. “Wow!” she whispered. There was so much of it! She ran her fingers through each curl, and she smiled as the entire world fell away.

“It will probably fall out,” Ellie’s nurse said, startling her. She forgot that she was still in the room. Her world had shrunk to the tiny being in her arms.

Ellie’s eyes got big. “Fall out?”

“It’s supposed to,” her nurse said quickly, trying to reassure her. “It happens with most babies. It will grow back.”
She has so much to learn, and no one to teach her.
Ellie was completely alone in the world now, no longer speaking to her parents and no father of the baby anymore. There was nobody to take care of her now, she had confided to her nurse in between contractions.

Her nurse had no idea how Ellie would take care of her baby, and she feared for both her and the child.

Instead, she pushed those thoughts aside and decided to think positive. Ellie seemed smart and if a social worker from the hospital could point her in the right direction, maybe she would have a chance.

“Do you have a name for her?” She forced a smile as she asked Ellie.

Ellie thought hard, her pretty dark brows furrowed in thought. Even after eighteen hours of hard labor, her beauty was evident. She had the smooth untarnished face of a young girl, but her eyes told a different story. Big, dark and brown, the color of rich coffee, they had a depth that girls at her age didn’t usually have. Most girls at her age were going to sleepovers and hanging out at the mall with their girlfriends but the nurse could tell this girl had chosen a different path.

As the girl thought hard for a name, she looked exactly as the child that she was

“What is your name?” Ellie asked her almost shyly, her voice pretty, and almost musical.

“Eva,” the nurse said quickly surprised at the question.

“Then I will name her Eva. Eva Elizabeth. You have been so nice to me and…” Ellie’s voice trailed off as though she couldn’t finish the sentence.

Nurse Eva blinked back tears, overwhelmed by the gesture. She was saddened that Ellie had nobody else in her life to name her precious baby after.

“Well, naming your baby is a big decision, and you should give that some thought dear. I would be honored, but you’ll want to be sure. She will have that name for the rest of her life.”

“I’m sure,” Ellie said without hesitation. “Eva Elizabeth.”

She smiled for the first time, and she was beautiful.

Nurse Eva nodded at Ellie, and left the room before the girl could see her tears. Eva walked down the quiet sanitary hall to the supply room. She knew that Ellie’s life was about to become a great deal more difficult and that there was nothing that she could do.
Take care of her while she is here, steer her in the right direction. That is all you can do.
Eva busied herself organizing the supplies, filling out charts and checking on the rest of the babies.

It was time for her to go back and check on Ellie and as she got closer, she heard yelling from inside the room. Ellie had barely spoken above a whisper since entering the hospital, but Eva knew that it was her voice. Then Eva heard a man’s voice coming from the room yelling just as loudly. Eva rushed into the room and was surprised to see a young man standing over Ellie’s bed. As she got closer, she realized that he wasn’t all that young, at least not as young as he should be.

He looked to be about twenty-seven, and this girl was barely fifteen.

“I’m Eva. I’m the nurse. Is everything okay in here?” She said to the man realizing that her voice sounded brittle, nervous.

“Yep,” he muttered, his green eyes darting away so that they would not meet hers. He was standing close, too close to the hospital bed. He could tell that he was making the nurse anxious, and he sneered, “I came to see my baby.”

“She’s beautiful.” Nurse Eva set her steely eyes on him without wavering. She felt like a rabbit in the presence of a hungry lion. He was handsome but in a way that unsettled her. She didn’t like him, and he could tell and she could tell that he didn’t really care.

Ellie was quiet, eyes downcast. She didn’t look happy to have him there, but she would not allow her dark eyes to look up. She looked only at her baby, and Nurse Eva saw that she was holding her tightly.

The room fell silent, and time passed slowly as the man and Nurse Eva sized each other up. He was big, much bigger than she was. His frame was lean and muscular and he had a strong jawline and dark green eyes that glittered at her dangerously. Nurse Eva was petite, but she knew that she was deceptively strong. She had taken some self-defense classes at the Y, and worked out regularly in order to stay fit.

He sat down on the hospital bed. He had put his arm around Ellie, and she looked as though she didn’t welcome it much by the way she leaned away from him as far as she could, without falling off the other side of the bed. The closer he pulled Ellie, the more anxious Nurse Eva felt.

“Well, visiting hours are just about over, so I’m afraid that you’ll have to leave. You can come back tomorrow at ten a.m. after rounds, if you would like,” Nurse Eva said glancing quickly at the clock on the other side of the room. She shifted her eyes back to him and allowed them to remain on him, even though her heart was pounding in her chest. He had done nothing, had not moved, had barely spoken, but she knew there was clear danger.

“I’m not leaving,” he said, his voice rising as he stood up. He towered over her.

Ellie quickly spoke up, her voice trembling. “Please, don’t!”

“I. Said. I’m. Not. Leaving.” He repeated as he emphasized each word. Then he looked back at Ellie, his gaze softening for a brief moment. “You left me, and I’m not leaving. I’m not letting you out of my sight again.” His gaze sharpened, and the softness was gone.

“Sir, if you don’t leave then I will be forced to call security,” Eva said trying to sound as authoritative as she could. “She and the baby need to rest.”

The baby started crying as if on cue. Softly at first, and then in short, staccato cries that sounded more and more desperate with each one. Everyone stopped and looked at her with surprise. For a brief few minutes, they had forgotten about her completely.

“She’s hungry. That’s her hungry cry and she needs to be fed,” Nurse Eva said trying not to sound as anxious as she felt. “I have to show Ellie how to feed her, which means that you need to leave. She needs to be able to relax so she can learn.” She felt relieved for the distraction and prayed that this could get him out of the room so she could call security. Nurse Eva hadn’t spoken to Ellie about him, but she knew that Ellie didn’t want him there. It was reflected in her wide fearful eyes. Nurse Eva
needed
to try to get him to leave.

Eva’s daughters popped into her mind. She knew that they wouldn’t want her to put herself in danger. And although he had not done anything yet, she felt as though he were simply biding his time until he pounced. She loved her girls so much and suddenly couldn’t wait to be with them. Her husband had died so young, and she was all they had now.

The baby continued to cry, louder and louder until there was nothing but the sound of her cries filling the room.

He took a step toward Nurse Eva as she held her breath, knees buckling, and palms sweating. She had never needed to defend herself before and didn’t even know if she would be able to react if she had to.

Unexpectedly, the menacing look on his face fell away. He looked only like a handsome young man in extreme pain. He slumped, and it seemed as if all of the air came out of him like a balloon.

“Fine!” He cried, “I’ll leave. But I’ll be back tomorrow.”

He turned around and looked directly at Ellie. He took a step toward her, and she shrank away. He immediately looked defeated and hurt. He ran his hands through his sandy hair that
desperately needed a cut,
Nurse Eva thought. He was frustrated.

Nurse Eva was surprised to see his pain.