Leap of Faith (La Flor #1) (28 page)

Faith (26 April 2013)

“You see, Faith, I always knew you were the one for me,” Zane tells me. “What you think happened so fast between us has been in the makin’ for years. The first time I saw you, I knew you were supposed to be mine—I can’t explain how, but I did. That’s why I was so determined to follow you every time you ran, why I worked myself into your life.

“I need to be with you like I need to breathe. I’m not tryin’ to replace Jake; I just want to be the man to love you and hold you when you hurt. I want to fight your battles and I want to make sure you never hurt again. Just like you knew Jake was the one for you when you first saw him; it was the same for me. I knew you were supposed to be for me. Even now, I’d trade places with him so he could be here with you—I love you that much. But that’s not how life works, and everything happens for a reason.

“Maybe, I was supposed to meet Jake so he could lead me to you. You were supposed to be his first, so I could become a man worthy of you—a man that didn’t take you for granted because for the time that you were with him, I knew you’d never be mine and that hurt. It tore my heart up and I know I never want to feel that again. I’m in it for the long haul, love. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I met Jake years ago, but things were just so hard to explain. How was I to tell you everything without you turnin’ me away?”

I sit there silently looking at the man I now love. I’m still trying to process everything he’s told me and thoughts are running through my mind. I’m angry but mostly, I’m hurt. He made a promise and what if that’s all we are? What if we are just a promise? Can I trust him—can I trust that our love is real?

“You should’ve told me, Zane,” I say to him dishearteningly. “If you keep something like this, what else will you keep from me? How can I trust that all we have is real? Rylee and I were a promise you made to a dyin’ man. How can I believe you truly love me that you’re not just keepin’ your word to Jake?”

“You know I love you, Faith,” he tells me running his hand through this hair in desperation. “You have to trust me—in
us.
Please.” He looks at me, his eyes pleading with me to believe him, but I don’t know if I can.

“I . . . I need to . . . to think . . .” I tell him. “I just don’t know right now.” I finish the sentence and I feel the emotion start to take over.

“Faith, please don’t do this,” he begs me, his voice cracking. “I love you and I love the girls. Don’t push me way. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but you have to understand.”

“I need you to give me some time, Zane,” I tell him, making myself stand firm when I really just want to throw myself in his arms. “You didn’t tell me when you plenty of opportunities and you watched us for
years
without our knowledge—I need time to process everything.”

He looks at me, he is devastated by my request, but I need time to think everything over. I need to make sure this is
real
because it’s not only me who will be hurt if what we had over the past months was only about a promise made, but also the girls, especially Skylar.

His eyes remain on me urging me to change my mind, but he sees I’m standing firm. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and then opens them and says, “I’ll give you time, Faith, but I’m not goin’ anywhere. I’m gonna be outside in the waitin’ room until Rylee goes home, and then if you haven’t had enough time, I’ll camp outside your house, but I’m not leavin’ y’all. Y’all are my girls and I’m gonna make sure y’all are taken care of. I admit I was wrong in keepin’ the fact I met Jake from you and the words exchanged.
That’s
why I’m givin’ you time, not because I don’t love you. You think about us, Faith, think about our time together and you’ll realize that y’all mean the world to me. What we have is more than a promise that I made to a dyin’ man—what we have is
real.
”

With that, he gently places kiss on Rylee’s forehead with his hand, turns and walks out the room. He’s giving me the time I need, and I feel like my heart is getting ripped from my body.

Zane

Walking out of that door is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. I know I was wrong in keeping things from her but I had my reasons—I just hope she understands them and soon. I don’t want to be without her ever again and not having her by my side is tearing me apart inside.

I’m giving her time but I’m not leaving—ever.

Faith

As soon as Zane walks out of the door, I turn back to a still sleeping Rylee. I gently take her hand, bend my head, and I pray. I pray she gets better and that everything works out the way it’s supposed to. I pray for much needed guidance.

Minutes later, my eyes slowly start to close and I drift off to sleep. It’s seems only mere seconds pass before I feel someone gently touches my hair.

“Faith,” I hear whispered. “Babe, you have to wake up. I need to speak with you.”

Reluctantly, I open my eyes. I expect to see Rylee right in front of me, instead I’m met by empty white space. Realizing my daughter is missing, I jump back and quickly start looking for her, and I see nothing.
Nothing!

“Rylee!” I cry. “Rylee!”

“Calm down,” I hear. “She’s safe, my love. Everything is okay.”

That voice . . . can it be? No, I think, shaking my head. I must be going crazy. There’s no possible way.

“Yes, Faith, it’s me,” he tells me, laughing at my reaction.

My throat tightens and tears fill my eyes.

“But how?” I ask, turning in circles looking for a sign of him.

“You prayed for guidance,” he tells me. “I know how stubborn you can be and figured I had to tell you myself to make you understand. So, I asked for permission to come to you.” He appears before me.

“Jake?” I whisper in disbelief. I see his green eyes, so much like Rylee’s, and his caramel colored hair, short and wavy like the last time I laid eyes on him. “Is it really you?”

He gives me his gorgeous smile. “Yes, Faith, it’s me.”

I raise my left hand to cover my mouth and muffle my cry, and I slowly raise my right hand to touch him. I can’t believe he’s right before my eyes. For years, I wished for one more chance to see him—to let him know that I loved him, to say good-bye because that’s what almost killed me. I never got to say goodbye to Jake.

My hand gently traces the face that was once so familiar. His eyes close and inhales deeply. I see him clench his jaw and swallow.

I can no longer hold back, so I give up. I throw my arms around him, hold him tight, and I let my tears fall. His arms go around me and he buries his face in my neck. He breaths me in and I feel his body shake—he’s sobbing.

“I’m sorry, Faith,” he says to me. “I’m sorry I had to go away—I never meant to leave you and Rylee. I tried to make sure y’all were taken care of.”

I don’t answer but continue to hold onto to him. To see him one more time, to speak with him, to let him know we’re okay, that’s something I never thought I would have the opportunity to do.

Slowly, he pulls back and gazes into my eyes.

“I love you, so much, baby,” he tells me. “You and the girls—I love y’all with all my heart.”

“I know, Jake,” I reply. “We love you too. Rylee and I miss you every day. Skylar, she knows you through our memories and all the pictures we have. We make sure she knows what an amazin’ man her father was.”

“Thank you.” He brings his face down to mine and gently places a kiss on my lips. “I’ve been wantin’ to that for years—I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Jake,” I tell him, looking at him lovingly.

“I know you do and I worried for you until he came along,” he tells me, surprising me. “Zane’s a good man, Faith. Don’t turn him away. You haven’t been completely honest with him either.”

I bend my head in shame. He’s right, I’ve kept some things about my life from Zane, nothing as important as what he kept from me, but I still wasn’t completely honest.

“He loves you, Faith, and he loves our daughters. A better man for the job I couldn’t have asked for. When he made that promise to me so many years ago, he’d never seen you. He kept an eye on you as a fulfillment to that promise, but he fell in love with you because of the woman you are. Because you complete him and you make him a better man.”

“But, how can I trust in everything, that it was all real?” I ask him.

“Just like you came up to me and told me you were gonna marry me one day and I trusted a young girl with my heart and my daughter—I took a leap of faith,” he tells me. “Nothing is guaranteed, you have to believe and you have to take a chance. The girls love him, your parents, mine, and even the guys and Julia like him—he’s a good man. He would give his life for y’all. He
loves
you like I love you, Faith. The question is, do
you
love him enough?”

My eyes widen in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“Do you love him enough to accept him—the man he was, the man he is now, and the man he is to become? Are you willin’ to stand by his side? Or are you gonna let this little thing get in the way? You’re no longer the young girl I met, Faith, you’ve grown up and now you have responsibilities. I’m sorry, love, but you have to start behavin’ like the woman I know you are—don’t let this ruin everything.”

“Jake!” I say offended.

“You know I’m right, Faith, you can be irrational at times, and at least now I can call you on it. Poor Zane is gonna have to put up with you now,” he tries to say this jokingly but his tone and face are sad.

“He’s a good man, Jake.”

“I know, love. I rest easy now that my girls are taken care of,” he tells me.

“You know I will always love you. Please, don’t ever doubt my love,” I tell him.

“Always and forever, Faith. I was your past, but he’s your present and he’s your future. Go back and put the poor man out of his misery. Be happy, Faith. Remember, I will always watch over y’all. I love you . . .” He tells me before disappearing.

“Good-bye, Jake,” I call out. “I love you.”

“Always and forever.” He says before leaving me.

As if waking from a dream, I open my eyes. I feel something in my hand, I look, and see Rylee’s hand in mine. Turning, I notice I’m back in the hospital room, and when I bring my fingertips to my face, I feel tears. It was real.

I look at my daughter, her chest rising and falling slowly in rhythm. I press the call button and wait for a nurse to arrive. I place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“I’ll be right back, honey. I have to go see Zane. Mommy did something really bad and I have to go fix it. I promise I’ll be right back,” I say to her as if she were awake.

The door opens and a young nurse steps inside. I turn to her, “I’m gonna step out for a few seconds. I would appreciate it if you’d stay with my daughter. I know y’all are busy, but I would feel more comfortable if someone was in the room with her.”

She looks from me to Rylee on the bed. Her eyes take in my daughter and her face softens. “Of course, ma’am. But, I can only stay for a few minutes. Please be quick.”

“Thank you,” I reply and quickly make my way out the door and down the hallway to the waiting room. I make it as far as the doorway and stand there. I take in the sight before me, Zane—he’s sitting in one of the uncomfortable chairs, hunched over, his head in his hands. He looks miserable and I’m the cause.

I clear my throat and quietly call his name, “Zane.”

His head immediately comes up, he stands, and quickly makes his way to me.

“Faith, is everything okay?” He asks worriedly.

“Yes, everything is okay. I . . . I need to talk to you,” I tell him, feeling ashamed of my behavior. “Um, there’s a nurse with Rylee and she told me she could only stay for a few minutes. Can you come back with me? We can talk there.”

“Of course, baby,” he tells me gently.

I turn and we make our way back to Rylee’s room. When we enter, the nurse’s eyes widen in surprise and admiration, but Zane’s eyes are on me and only for me. Hers fill with disappointment when she realizes he’s taken and she leaves, leaving us alone with Rylee.

“What’s goin’ on?” He asks me.