Leap of Faith (La Flor #1) (27 page)

He’s right about everything. Eliza isn’t worth my time, but that woman—if I had her in my life, I’d spend my whole life showing her my love and devotion every single fucking day.

Fuck!

I just saw the woman of my dreams, the one my body craves after just one look. The woman that’s supposed to be my one. My body, heart, and soul recognize her as mine.

But that’ll never happen, because . . .

She’s his.

Faith is looking at me with a stunned look on her face. I laugh and congratulate myself on being able to render this beautiful and amazing woman, who never quits talking, silent for a few seconds. I look Faith in the eyes, my gaze never wavering, and continue on with my story.

“After meetin’ her and knowin’ she’d never be mine, I threw myself into mission after mission. Most were suicide missions but by the grace of God, I made it out alive. Because of my unconscious death wish, I was Uncle Sam’s go-to guy and I raked a shit-ton of money into my bank account. When I wasn’t workin,’ I was going through women like fucking candy. My family thought I was still torn over Eliza, but they were wrong. I was mournin’ the loss of
her.
To see her and know she was supposed to be mine was tearing me up inside.

“Life’s funny that way, you know? She gives you a small glimpse at happiness and then takes it away. With me, I got to see my happiness for mere seconds before she disappeared into the room where her husband waited for her. Life is shit sometimes, so I went on with my shitty life. I fucked even more women and did things that would haunt me forever, but I was tryin’ to live my life without her.

“Less than a year after meetin’ Jake, my life changed forever. I kept my promise to him early. I wanted to make sure she’d always be happy, so I had a buddy of mine keep tabs on Jake. I told him Jake saved my life and I wanted to make sure he was okay and that if he ever needed me, I could be there quickly. But in reality, I wanted to make sure he’d always make her happy, that she’d never hurt. I knew he’d never hurt her, but you can never be too careful. My buddy thought it was a bit much, but he kept his mouth shut and every so often he’d give me updates.

“It was late April when I got the call. I expected the usual update—Jake and his family are doing well and so forth—but this one was different.”

27 April 2008, North Carolina

“Zane, man, I’m sorry,” he starts without saying hello.

“What is it?” I say into the phone. “Can this wait till later? I got someone with me.”

That was saying it nicely. I was about to get fucked good by some woman I’d picked up at a bar. I was between missions and I needed to release some stress.

“Zane, it’s Jake. You wanted to know when he wasn’t okay, right?”

“Fuck! What’s wrong with him?” I ask, frustrated.

I tap the woman on the hip and make a head motion towards the door, telling her to leave. She looks at me in disbelief, but I don’t have time for her shit. I turn away from her.

“Talk to me,” I tell him.

“Your man was in a car accident yesterday and he died on the scene.” This is all I hear before my phone hits the floor.

I hear movement and turn to see the bitch still in my hotel room.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave?” I ask her.

She looks at me stupidly and it pisses me off. The bitch still doesn’t fucking move.

“Get the fuck outta here!” I yell at her. “NOW!”

It finally gets though her thick head and she picks her shit up and runs to the door.

I pick up the closest thing to me, a coffee mug, and throw it at the wall. If he died in a car accident, she must’ve been with him. NO!

“FUCK!” I yell at the top of my lungs. “FUUUUCCCKKK! Please, God, not her!”

I sit on the bed and put my head in my hands, tears working their way into my eyes. I hear something and it catches my attention. It’s my phone. He’s still on.

“Yeah,” I say hoarsely into the phone.

“You okay, man?” He asks.

“No, I’m not. What about his wife and kid? Did they go too?” I ask.

“His wife and kid are okay,” he tells me. “From what I gathered, it happened in the late hours of the night. Records show he was called into work—one of his soldiers couldn’t handle his alcohol and ended up in the hospital and then the MP station. Zane, he was on his way to get the fucker when he was hit head-on by a drunk driver—another soldier. The driver had moved over into the wrong lane and there was no way Jake could avoid him. The pictures, man . . . they’re bad. He died on the scene; they both did. He’s going to need a closed casket.”

My eyes close.

I say a silent prayer, thankful she and his little girl are okay, but for him to die that way—because some soldier wasn’t smart enough to not drink and drive—it makes you want to hit something.

Now, a good man has been lost.

“A week later, I was back in my hometown. I was there to see a good man laid to rest. A man I’d known for less than a week, but those days created a bond between us that couldn’t be explained—that stayed with me forever. A man who trusted me with his treasures when he thought he was dyin.’

“I was there to say my final good-bye to Jake . . .”

2 May 2008, Jake’s Funeral

I stand as far back as possible away from everyone, but still close enough to see her. This is the second time I’ve lain eyes on her since realizing what she means to me.

She stands there, her arm around the little girl, Rylee. I thought his girl would be younger, but damn, Jake must have had her young. The girl looks to ten or so, maybe older.

My eyes go back to her.

“Faith,” I whisper her name.

She’s even more beautiful than I remember and she’s standing there, sunglasses on, watching her husband being laid to rest in the ground. She stands there like the strong and beautiful woman Jake described her to be. I look at both of them, Faith and Rylee, and my heart hurts for the both of them. I can see the sadness in the little girl’s eyes and the tears rolling down her face—sobbing. I look at Faith and I see the strain on her face; she’s trying to keep it all in. Her tears fall, but she’s silent.

I want to jump over everyone and go to her. I want to hold her until all her pain goes away. I’d even trade places with Jake just to see her smile, take this pain away. At that moment, I realized I’d do anything for her and her little girl to make sure they’re safe and happy. But first, I need to change—I need to be a man who is worthy of them.

I look around her and see she’s surrounded by family and friends, and I know she’ll be okay—for now.

I remember my promise to Jake, but I have to get my shit together first. I need to atone for my shitty behavior over the past months and I need to leave the life I’m living now. I need to make peace with myself, and I need to make sure she heals before I go to her.

I look at Jake and make him another promise. I promise to get myself together and then I’ll take care of her and his little girl like they deserve. I promise to make them mine and when I do, I’ll treasure them forever and never take them for granted. I’ll spend every day showing them my love and devotion. I’ll do anything to keep them safe, I silently vow.

I look back at her one last time before leaving and I feel her eyes on me. She’s staring at me and I look back. We both have sunglasses on so we don’t make eye contact, but I can feel her eyes on me.

I take my fill of her before turning around and walking away.

“That’s the last time I saw you,” I tell Faith. “I made sure y’all were okay, but I didn’t lay eyes on you again until almost five years later—on that fateful day at the stoplight when both our eyes finally met. The day
you
finally saw me.”