Leap of Faith (La Flor #1) (18 page)

“Because I found out that you’d moved on and it pisses me off that I wasn’t here so it could be me. What does he have that I don’t? I’ve known you for years . . .”

“I don’t know how to answer that, Gunner. Like I told you before, he stampeded his way into my life, the girls’ lives, and didn’t let me hide behind my fears. He knows everything about me,” I say, mentally crossing my fingers behind my back, “and he’s still here. I care for him a lot. So much that I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

Hearing my words, Gunner’s eyes close in pain and his face. Oh my . . . his face is full of devastation.

“As soon as Gabriel told me you had called him and Carmen and Jacob were ecstatic that you were finally in a relationship, I dropped everything and got on a plane. I probably lost our biggest client. What do I get for it? A fuckin’ broken heart.”

“Enough,” Zane barks. “That’s enough. It’s not her fault you were too much of a fuckin’ pussy to own up to your feelings. You had years to tell her how you felt, but you didn’t. You could’ve given her a year and then made a move, but you were too fuckin’ scared. Don’t make her feel like shit for somethin’ she had no idea about and isn’t even her fault.”

Zane is beyond pissed now. Gunner is blaming me for this and maybe it’s my fault, but he never said anything. And now, I’m going to have to do some sweet talking to make sure I iron everything out with Gabriel and make sure things are covered by Gunner’s second-in-command.

“Don’t come here blamin’ her because you were too chicken-shit to man up. You had your chance and you lost it. This is the last time you get to put your lips and hands on her. The. Last. Fuckin.’ Time. You get me? I’m not gonna put up with this bullshit. You’re actin’ like a little kid whose toy was stolen. Grow a fuckin’ pair and man the fuck up,” Zane orders Gunner.

“Honey, don’t be so brutal,” I say to Zane, wanting him to take it easy on Gunner. He’s heartbroken and deserves a break. Yeah, he forced a kiss on me, but it’s over and done with. But, I understand where Zane is coming from. The type of man he is, Zane isn’t going to let this slide.

“No, baby. I’m not gonna stand here and let him make you feel as if all this is your fault. It’s not. If he wanted you,” Zane says without breaking his glare at Gunner, “He shoulda been man enough to give you time to grieve and then made himself an integral part of your lives. I knew the moment I saw you that I wanted you and I made sure you knew it. I worked my way into your lives and I’m here to stay. I’m not gonna to let him come into your house and try to take you from me. You. Are. Mine.”

“Listen here, you motherfucker—” Gunner starts to say, but Zane cuts him off.

“No. You fuckin’ listen and listen good. Faith and the girls are
mine.
They are mine and I take care of what’s mine. I protect them with my life and if I have to beat the shit outta dumbass motherfuckers like yourself, then I will. I’m not gonna let you barge into
my
woman’s house and put your hands on her. I’ll give you this one time because she stopped me and only this
one
time
.
Never again are you to put your hands or mouth on her. You try this crazy shit again, and I will fuckin’
kill
you. You got me?”

Gunner looks at him and then at me. He recognizes the type of man Zane is and the seriousness of our relationship. With a defeated sigh he says, “Yeah, I got it. I don’t like it but I got it.” He looks at me. “I’m sorry, Faith. I’m just upset because I feel like I lost you all over again. First to Jake and now to him. And it’s not your fault, it’s mine. I should’ve told you sooner. But now that I see you together, I see that it probably wouldn’t have mattered. Even if you would’ve been mine, it would’ve been for a short while until you met him.” He gives me a sad look and continues, “I’m sorry I hurt you, but I’m not sorry I kissed you. I had to taste your lips at least once and the beatin’ was worth it.” He tries to smile but fails.

My heart is breaking for my friend and I know that our friendship is going to suffer. I try to pull away from Zane to go to Gunner, but Zane doesn’t loosen his hold. I pinch him, taking him by surprise. I use this opportunity to make my way to Gunner, leaving a not-so-happy Zane standing behind. I look at Gunner, asking for permission, and he slightly nods his head. I put my arms around him and he holds me tight.

“I never had a chance, did I?” He asks.

“I’m sorry, Gunner,” I tell him.

I step back out of our embrace. I hate hurting him, but I need to be completely honest with him.

“You and Julia were there with me durin’ the hardest times of my life. I will never forget that and I will always be grateful. Y’all held me together when I wanted to give up and y’all helped me take care of my babies. I love both of you as family. What I felt for Jake was strong and true, and even death will never make that go away. What I feel for Zane is just as strong. I’m scared to admit it, but I need to stop livin’ in fear and take a leap of faith. I don’t know what life has in store for us, but I want to find out. I’m sorry that I couldn’t love you that way.”

I pause, looking into his eyes. One day,” I tell him. “One day you will meet the woman that’s meant for you. Then, you’ll understand that you have no control over who you love. You love me now, but one day you’ll find this woman and she’ll be magnificent. You and I were never meant to be, but you and her will live a lifetime of love.”

I reach to give him a kiss on his cheek. This is me ending all discussion on this matter, and I’m glad he understands and seems to be following my lead.

“Now, the two of you better start straightenin’ up my living room before I get seriously pissed off. You”—I point at Gunner and try to look fierce—“will be payin’ for everything that was broken during your little spat.
Capisce?
”

Gunner gives a small chuckle at my slang usage. “Yeah, babe, I got it.”

“You better take good care of her,” he says to Zane. “You hurt her and I’ll fuckin’ castrate you and feed you your dick and balls. I’ll always be here for her and I won’t hesitate to end you.”

Hearing this speech, I know all danger of the two of them beating each other senseless is gone, so I go into the kitchen to order take-out and make the necessary calls to straighten out the situation so we don’t lose a client. I’m not in the mood to cook and I’m definitely not going to make Zane cook. There goes my date night with Zane. I hope he’s not too upset and is okay with eating here at home with me. I order plenty of food and head back to the living room with a glass of sweet wine in my hand. This definitely calls for wine and I deserve it. I find the guys cleaning up my living room and being civil to each other—thank goodness.

After they finish, Gunner turns to me. “I’m gonna head out. I’m sorry for ruinin’ y’all’s evenin.’ I don’t know what I was thinkin.’ I was desperate and I’m sorry. Let me know how much I owe you for all the broken items.” He heads for the door. “I’ll talk to you at work. Bye, Faith.”

I say goodbye and watch him head towards his truck. He gets in, giving me one last sad look before starting the engine and driving off.

I turn to Zane and before I can say or do anything, he’s on me. His lips are on mine hard—not brutal, but more aggressive than normal.

“I want every trace of his lips gone from yours,” he growls. “Mine are the only lips that will ever touch yours again, you hear me? When I saw him on you, I wanted to
kill
him. I wanted to tear him limb from limb. I never want to see that again.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry he ruined our night.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault and I saw you trying to push him off. And, our night isn’t ruined. As long as I’m with you, everything is perfect in my world. Next time, knee him in the balls so hard they come up his throat.
No one
has the right to put their hands or lips on you but me. You. Are. Mine. Only mine, Faith.”

“If I’m yours, then you’re mine. Got me?” I give him my most serious and fierce face. “I don’t share well with others, honey.”

“Yeah, baby, I’m yours,” he says, laughing softly. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way, love.”

He gives me a light kiss on the lips before letting me go. I head into the kitchen to get plates and glasses while we wait for dinner to be delivered.

After a few minutes, he walks into the kitchen, puts his hands on my hips and kisses me on the back of the neck. He trails his fingers down my open back.

“Faith, this dress is fuckin’ hot.”

I shiver as his lips nibble and bite. A tingling sensation starts between my legs. I’m very sensitive and what he’s doing feels so good.

“Go change into somethin’ more comfortable,” he says as he nibbles on my neck. “I love this dress and those shoes, but I want to be able to relax with you and you can wear it again on our next date.”

“Hmmm . . . umm . . .” I can’t even speak.

His lips on me feel so good and it’s been a long time since I’ve had this. Sure, we’ve been a little hot with each other, but it’s been pretty limited. I don’t want to set a bad example for the girls, especially Rylee, since she’s at that age.

“I want to eat dinner and then move to the livin’ room. I want to hold you as we watch television together. The girls aren’t here so I’m definitely gonna take advantage of that,” he whispers into my ear before biting it.

I lean my head to the side, giving him better access, and he moves to my neck. He bites it and then uses his tongue.
Oh my!
I feel like I’m going to explode right here and now. I need him. With one last little bite, he steps back and I let out a sound in protest.

“Faith, our first time isn’t going to be in this kitchen. I want to take my time with you and I don’t want to be interrupted by dinner arrivin,’” he tells me. “I’m gonna head out to my truck to get my bag. You go to your room and change.”

“Fine,” I grumble, upset at being left in need. “But, don’t touch me. I’m mad at you.” I give him a pouty face and make my way up to my room. I hear him chuckle and head out the door.

I change into black capri leggings, a white tank top with a lilac three-quarter sleeve loose shirt, and comfy fluffy purple socks. I take my jewelry off and remove my make-up. He told me to relax and I am definitely doing that. I head back down and hear Zane speaking with the delivery guy as he pays for our dinner. He closes the door, looks at me and gives me one of his sexy grins, and then heads to the kitchen.

“Food’s here. You still mad at me?” The big meanie is still laughing at me.

“I won’t be if you feed me,” I tell him.

“Come here, baby.”

I pretend to reluctantly walk to him. He wraps his arm around my waist and hauls me up, slamming our bodies together, and kisses my pretend anger away.

“Let’s get our food, your wine, and my beer and head to the livin’ room. We’ll put something on the TV and relax. I just want to hold you,” he tells me before kissing me softly and letting me go.

“Alright, honey,” I say. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“We’re done talking about that. It wasn’t your fault and that’s it. I settled it with him and if he pulls another stunt like that, his ass is mine and you won’t be able to stop me.”

I drop the subject and follow him into the living room. We set everything on the coffee table and look through my DVR list for something to watch. We settle on
Game of Thrones,
deciding to get ourselves ready for the new season by watching the old episodes I have recorded.

A couple episodes in and all of the food is consumed, mainly by Zane, and I’m almost finished with my bottle of wine. That stuff is delicious, but the bottle is so small I can finish a bottle in three glasses.

Zane takes the dirty dishes into the kitchen, comes back, settles himself comfortably in the couch and then pulls me to him. He puts his arms around me and I cuddle next to him. He’s playing with my hair with one hand, kissing my forehead, and holding my hand with his other hand. It feels wonderful just being here with him. I love the feeling of being cherished and protected in his arms.

I turn my head and kiss him on the lips. I turn my attention back to the television and . . .

Whoa!

I don’t remember the sex scenes being this hot the last time I saw the show. Holy crap—is that even possible? I ask myself.

I normally don’t get hot and bothered by sex scenes, but since Zane’s little tease in the kitchen and now just being here with him, I’m getting worked up. It doesn’t help that he’s holding me and kissing me, regardless of how innocent those kisses are. I know he won’t make a move on me until I’m ready; he’ll never pressure me. Being alone with him, plus the wine I just consumed, is making me brave. How much will he take before he breaks down and takes me?

I turn again and bring our lips together. I nibble on his lips and then move on to his neck. I can tell he likes this because his pulse is getting faster. He’s sitting still, just letting me take the lead. I continue to kiss and taste his lips and neck. My hand slowly moves to his groin area and I feel his hard cock just wanting to escape the confinement of his pants.

I hear him inhale sharply.

“You’re playin’ with fire. We don’t have to do anything tonight; I just want to hold you in bed.”

I ignore him and continue to trace my hand up and down. I tease him with my nails and I moan just thinking how good he’s going to feel inside of me.

“Baby,” he moans before taking my mouth. He grabs my hair and gently pulls my head back. I make little noises in protest and try to get my lips back on his. “No.”

I ignore him. I want him and I don’t want to wait any more.

“Once we do this, Faith, you’ll definitely be mine. You’ll be my woman in every way but name. I’ll never let you go, you understand?”

I’m only half-listening as I straddle him and align us together. I grab a fistful of his hair.

“I want you, Zane. So much that I’m hurtin.’ I know I want you and I’m not going to stop until I have you inside me. You’ve been patient with me and now I’m ready.”

I stop talking and wrap my arms around him and start rubbing myself on his hardness.