Law and Peace (8 page)

Once the deal was done I took the rest of the day off and collected my mother from work, let her go home and get changed and then took her out for a very expensive meal in Soho where I explained that I'd basically found someone who would take on the debt.

‘BabyB, that's the best news you could ever have given me. I've been so very worried that by next month we'd both be out on the street.'

I told her that that would never have happened but now there was absolutely no reason to worry. I obviously failed to mention the fact of yet another compromise I've had to make.

 

 

Wednesday 5 December 2007

Year 2 (week 10): Man with a plan

 

‘OK. So here's the plan.'

Slippery was on the phone again. ‘ScandalMonger fixes RoundTheBlock to become our witness. She decides to tell a new story about how someone from RedTop came to her and offered her cash in return for making a story up about BigMouth. He sells another front-page scoop and we win the case. He then packs her off to Brazil for a couple of years and RedTop will never get round to suing her for lying to them in the first place.'

 

 

Thursday 6 December 2007

Year 2 (week 10): TopFlirt

 

With worries about TopFirst at the forefront of my mind, it was fitting that today was the day for my lunch with his fiancée. I figured that if she mentions it to TopFirst then at the very least it'll raise the idea of my releasing the Ginny tape to her as well as causing him a certain amount of worry as to what I might be up to. If she doesn't mention it to him then I still have the possibility of stumbling upon some useful information.

Anyway, despite the contrived nature of our meeting, I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the lunch, not least because, to my complete surprise, at one point I was fairly certain that she was beginning to flirt with me. Enough at least for me to give her the name TopFlirt. This not only came as a complete surprise but it has put me into all sorts of quandaries. First off, she's extremely beautiful and bright and who wouldn't be flattered by her attentions? Then there's the fact that if anything were to happen it would be the ultimate way of getting one over on TopFirst, so to speak. On the other hand, she is my enemy's fiancée and it's at least possible she's helping him to spring a trap. Also, if anything were to happen between her and I that might break up the engagement then even the tiniest hold I had over TopFirst with the Ginny tape would be gone. And finally, well, me I couldn't help thinking about what Claire might say.

‘It's so difficult at home, at the moment, BabyB,' TopFlirt had confided. ‘TopFirst is so wrapped up in his work that he never seems to have any time for anything else.'

I gave her a sympathetic look. What could be worse than being engaged to a monster like that?

‘Don't get me wrong, I know what he's like,' she continued. ‘He's always been ambitious. But there's a fine line between hard-working and ambitious and completely losing sight of what's important and he's way, way over the other side of that line.'

She looked upset as she said these words, as if this were the first time she'd dared to articulate them, even to herself, and then she added, ‘We used to take walks in the park and have day trips into the countryside, weekends at his parents'. These days it's back to his flat and he's straight in front of his laptop working away on whatever he works away on.'

I just kept nodding gently and offering her my ear.

‘And what makes it worse, BabyB, is that he won't even talk to me about his cases. “All confidential” apparently. I mean, let's face it, you guys are hardly dealing in state secrets and I don't see why he can't share some of them with the person he supposedly wants to spend the rest of his life with. But hey, what do I know?'

Then she touched my hand which was on the table next to the wine glass and said, ‘I'm sorry, BabyB. This is the last thing you want to hear, I'm sure.'

Actually, nothing could have been further from the truth on so many different levels but I simply shrugged nonchalantly and said, ‘Hey, it's good to chat about these things.'

Despite all of my reservations, I am tempted to take her up on her offer of meeting up again in the new year.

 

 

Friday 7 December 2007

Year 2 (week 10): Billing clock

 

I got an update from Slippery this morning. ScandalMonger did his job and the story is going out in Sunday's newspapers. Meanwhile, RoundTheBlock has already booked her ticket out of the country. But that's not quite the end of it.

‘I'd start working thirty hours a day on this for the next few days if I were you, BabyB. You know and I know that RedTop will fold and then we'll both collect 100 per cent uplifts. I have ten staff working round the clock on the case as we speak. You've probably got until Monday morning when if they have any sense they'll stop the billing clock immediately. Oh, and although OldSmoothie and TheVamp don't know about our friend MrScandalMonger I've indicated to both of them that settlement might be imminent so you might find that they'll also be burning the midnight oil.'

 

 

Monday 10 December 2007

Year 2 (week 11): Case settled

 

Having taken Slippery's advice, I certainly billed for England over the weekend and I was not surprised that Slippery was right and both OldSmoothie and TheVamp were also to be spotted skulking around chambers trying to look busy. Research, working on documents and then more research. You never know, I would argue, RedTop may still decide to go ahead. Yeah, right.

The only drawback about it was that I had to cancel a daytrip that Claire had organised to Brighton on the Saturday, after which she'd said she'd cook dinner for me at her flat. I did feel particularly bad when I rang her yesterday with the news but as she said herself, ‘Don't worry, BabyB. Given that we're both in the same job, I'm perhaps one of your few friends who fully understands the difficulties we face in organising anything beyond the end of our noses, never mind a normal social life. The joys of the Bar, huh?'

Then she said with a chuckle, ‘Still, it's great news that you have so much well-paid work. I mean, just think of all the dinners you'll be able to buy me off the back of it.'

Then after all the work was done, as if like clockwork at seven thirty this morning, we all received an email from RedTop telling us to stop billing immediately. We were not to add another penny to that big fat timesheet. The case was to be settled for half a million pounds plus costs. That's a thousand times more than the £500 that BigMouth apparently paid RoundTheBlock in the first place, which is quite a return even for the litigation money machine.

 

 

Tuesday 11 December 2007

Year 2 (week 11): Worrier returns

 

Who should I bump into at court today but a blast from my recent past. I realised it was her before I saw her by the sound of her voice asking question after question of the person she was with. Yes, it was Worrier and I was against her. Well, against her barrister anyway, as she's now crossed over the profession and is working for a firm of solicitors. He had been the one fielding all the questions. When I saw her, I caught her eye and went straight over.

‘Worrier, what a pleasure.' Despite all her foibles, it really was good to see her.

‘Hello, BabyB, how are you? How funny to be against you!'

‘Exactly. How are you?'

‘Oh. Very well. I think being a solicitor is definitely for me.'

You don't say, I thought.

‘It's funny I should bump into you today,' she continued, ‘since only yesterday I received a very mysterious email from TopFirst asking about you.'

‘Oh, yes, what did he have to say?' I must have looked a little thrown as Worrier suddenly started shifting her gaze and mumbling that perhaps she had said too much. She changed the subject and I didn't want to push her on it any further.

Now I just have to find out what else he's up to.

 

 

Wednesday 12 December 2007

Year 2 (week 11): Ewe-turn if you want to

 

Everyone was discussing BigMouth's case in chambers tea today.

‘I just can't believe it,' said TheCreep. ‘One minute they're all guns blazing, the next they've got the white flag flying. You must have really socked it to them, OldSmoothie.'

Whilst I don't think OldSmoothie had a clue as to what had gone on behind the scenes, he wasn't about to play down his moment of victory. As far as he was concerned, helpful new evidence just happened to come to light and then just happened to end up in the Sunday papers. What with that and the natural fear his opponents must have had in facing such a formidable opponent as himself, it came as no surprise whatsoever that the case had settled. He looked extremely smug and said, ‘Yes, well, it's always rather satisfying when the hard work pays off. A complete U-turn.'

TheBusker smiled at this and took up the conversation with, ‘U-turns. Reminds me of the driving instructor who said to his farmer client, “Can you make a ewe turn?” To which the farmer replied, “No, but I can make its eyes water.”'

After work today, BigMouth took OldSmoothie and myself out for a celebratory drink at his St. James's club. He was in mightily fine fettle as he greeted us in the bar.

‘Come in, come in,' he said. ‘There's lots to celebrate.'

‘Yes, it was a great result,' said OldSmoothie proudly.

‘I expected nothing less,' said BigMouth. ‘All talk and no trousers these newspapers. Big bullies the lot of them and then the first sign that someone's actually going to stand up to them and fight they run away like cowards into a corner.'

‘Er, yes,' said OldSmoothie, clearly biting his tongue.

‘But that's not what I want to drink to.'

‘Oh?' said OldSmoothie.

‘No. That's old news,' he said just a tad ungratefully. ‘It's these old people I'm now interested in.'

‘Oh,' said OldSmoothie. ‘That's BabyB's domain rather than mine. At least at this stage.'

‘Yes, I understand that,' said BigMouth. ‘But I wanted to keep you both in the loop as to quite how important this case might be for me.'

‘I do realise that these people are your constituents,' said OldSmoothie, ‘and they must have gone through a lot of difficulties.'

BigMouth brushed this concern away with a wave of his hand. ‘That's not what I meant. No, this is the sort of case that could finally get me off the backbenches. Shining white knight taking on a big corporation and all that. You do understand, I'm sure.'

‘Er, yes,' said OldSmoothie.

We both understood perfectly.

 

 

Thursday 13 December 2007

Year 2 (week 11): Silver Surfers

 

I popped into my old room today to say hello to OldRuin, and as is often the case he was dictating what I thought was an advice for his typist. That is until he told me exactly what he was doing. ‘I've decided to enter the modern era BabyB and get on to the interweb. I've even decided to take advantage of chambers' very kind offer of an electronic mail address.'

‘That's great news, OldRuin. Do tell me if you need any help working it all out.'

He looked a little sheepish and then said, ‘That's a very kind offer, BabyB, but I've been using my typist now for more than forty years and I fear it would cause her great offence if I actually started typing my own correspondence at this late stage of my career. She's offered to attend a special email course for pensioners, where I believe they'll teach her how to print off the emails I receive and also to type the replies I dictate.'

‘Quite right,' I said. Then I added mischievously, ‘Will they also teach her to spell?'

‘BabyB, she's been spelling atrociously all of her life. I've always thought it better that solicitors assumed I was dyslexic than make her feel any worse by continually pointing it out.'

‘I think my favourite was when she cancelled the “Cricket outing to Lourdes” on your behalf.'

‘It was a similar dilemma when she changed an invitation I had drafted from simply “RSVP” to “Please RSVP”. Again I chose the possibility that people might think I didn't understand French rather than having to correct her.'

He smiled to himself.

‘She tells me that we'll both be officially Silver Surfers. Apparently her grandson even has a cartoon book where the hero is a Silver Surfer.'

 

 

Friday 14 December 2007

Year 2 (week 11): New counsel