Laugh Like You've Never Cried (Summer Lake 5) (21 page)

She pulled his head down to her and kissed him. “You changed everything, Michael. You noticed me. You liked me. You didn't give up on me. I told you I want to laugh, I want to have fun, I want to be happy. You've made them all happen.”

He could feel his heart expand in his chest. “And you've made them happen for me too, little one. I told you you'd found the right guy.”

She wriggled down until she was under the covers and peeked out at him with that smile. She beckoned with her finger. “Come down here with me so I can tell you the rest.”

He grinned and got rid of the pillows so he could lie beside her.

She reached her arms around his neck and had him aching again at the feel of her warm, soft body pressing against his invitingly.

“What else did you want to tell me?”

“That you changed everything because you make me want you. You make me feel good.” Her hand was closing around him as she spoke. “And you're doing it right now. I want you, I need you to make me feel good.”

He nodded and reached for a condom. He winked at her. “This time though, I'm putting this on myself, and you are taking the top.”

He hadn't thought they'd be doing anything other than talking tonight after she'd panicked like that, but he wasn't going to say no.

M
egan was sitting in the little back yard behind the house. She was glad she didn't have to close up the library on Friday nights. She enjoyed coming home and sitting out here to read. Ollie was wandering around happily, snuffling through the leaves and digging holes. The house might not be much, especially compared to Michael's huge place on Main Street, but it was her own little home—for now. She still hadn't talked to Michael about Nashville, but she needed to. He was spending tonight with Ethan. She was going over there tomorrow afternoon. Michael had invited her to come tonight and to spend the whole weekend, but she'd said no. She really did think he and Ethan should have some time alone. She'd had dinner with them again on Thursday. She smiled. Ethan had invited her when he'd come to the library with his class in the afternoon. They'd had a lovely evening. Ethan had been very affectionate, in fact, quite clingy with her and she'd noticed how uncomfortable Michael had been with that. She wasn't sure that staying over there this weekend was such a good idea. She needed to talk to Michael about it. They seemed to understand each other so well in some ways, but they were both holding back when it came to Ethan. That needed to change.

She reached for her phone. She was going to have to talk to Kenzie and find out what was really going on with her. She kept hoping that she wouldn't have to go to her, but she needed to know where she was up to.

“Hi Megan. This is a nice surprise.”

“Hey, Kenzie. How are you?”

“I'm all right. How about you?”

“I'm doing well. Very well. In fact I'm doing better than I ever have.”

“That's good. Want to tell me about it?” Kenzie sounded tired and flat.

Megan decided to push on. “Yes, I do. That's why I called. I'm making some lovely friends here. One of them has a fashion boutique and she asked me to try out some new clothes for her. They're beautiful Kenz, you'd like them. They're not as sexy as yours, but they're more me. They even fit right too because they're petites.”

“That sounds great.” She sounded genuinely pleased. “I knew you'd find your own style someday.”

Megan took a deep breath. “I don't want to leave here, Kenz. Holly is just one of my new friends. There's Missy and Emma and Laura as well. They're so much fun and they've all been so kind to me. And there's Michael. I really like him. And I'm getting close to his son, Ethan. I don't want to do that if I'm going to have to come to Nashville. Do you think you're going to be okay there? Do you need me?”

Kenzie was quiet for a long time. “I don't
need
you, Megan. I just want what's best for you. I don't like the sounds of this Michael. I want you to be careful.”

“What don't you like? He's wonderful Kenzie. He's funny and charming and he can be so sweet too.”

“And he has a son who is, what? Ten? I doubt he will want more kids now and we both know you do. It sounds like you're making changes, and I'm happy for you. You're starting to care about clothes and friends. I don't want to see you get stuck with the first guy you meet if he's not right for you.”

“He
is
right for me, Kenzie. I think I'm falling in love with him!” Megan gasped. It was true. She was. Her heart was racing. Maybe it was almost true. She wasn't falling in love with him—she already had.

“Don't be silly, Megan. You're getting carried away. You only met the guy a few weeks ago.”

Of course Kenzie wouldn't understand. She didn't believe in love, any more than she believed in God, or Jesus, or the tooth fairy. “I'm not. I'm telling you how I feel and asking you to be happy for me.  I'm telling you I don't want to come to Nashville, because I love Michael and I love Ethan and I love my life here. I'm just worried about you, and you know I will drop everything and come there if you need me.”

“You don't have to come to Nashville. Calm down, okay? I'll be fine. I always land on my feet. You know that. I don't want to mess up your happy little life. I just don't want to see you get yourself into a bad situation again. You keep doing your thing, but be careful. That's all. I worry about you.”

Megan felt bad about her outburst now. “I worry about you too, Kenz. Why don't you come for a visit like we said?”

There went that forced laugh again. “I can't afford to, Megan. That's why.”

“I'll send you the money then.”

“No. Don't do that.”

“But I want to. I want you to come. I want you to see this place, meet Michael, meet my friends and stop worrying about me. Maybe you'll like it and want to stay too.”

“I don't think so.”

“What if I say I miss you, and I want to see you. Will you do it then?”

“You know my weak spot, don't you? I miss you too.”

“Good. I'll send you the money then.”

“Thanks. But Megan, when I come I'm going to be figuring out this Michael guy. No matter how much you think you like him, you want kids. You've always wanted kids. Think about that.”

Megan did. It was true. She didn't even know if Michael felt the same way about her. She thought he might. But he wasn't sure about letting her get close to Ethan, and she wasn't at all sure that she would ever truly be happy if she couldn't have children of her own. “Okay.”

“I have to go. I'll let you know what I can do about getting out to see you.”

“Okay. We'll talk soon.”

Megan hung up and watched Ollie scrabbling in the leaves. Perhaps Kenzie was right? And if she was, perhaps she
should
go to Nashville.

***

M
egan parked in the square at the resort and walked over to the restaurant. She was tired. She hadn't slept well at all. She'd tossed and turned all night. Her mind had been racing with thoughts of Kenzie and Michael. When she had managed to fall asleep, she'd dreamed about Adrian and had woken up crying. He'd told her she was too stupid to be a mother, that she was so clumsy she'd probably drop her own baby.

Walking the beach with Ollie early this morning, she'd decided she needed to talk to Michael before she went over there. She might have to go to her sister. The fact that Kenzie had admitted that she couldn't afford to visit spoke volumes. Normally, she never admitted to being broke, and she'd been in some dire circumstances over the years. No matter what Megan might want for herself, her sister had to come first.

Missy waved from a table in the corner. She'd called Megan earlier. Her son, Scot, was off doing something with Dan, and Missy had invited her to come out for breakfast, just the two of them. Megan waved back and made her way over. She didn't want to leave this place, leave Missy and all her new friends. Most of all she
really
didn't want to leave Michael and Ethan.

“Good morning, hon. I'm glad you came.”

“Hi.”

“Oh no! What's the matter, Megan?”

Was it that obvious? She sat down and heaved a big sigh. “I don't know where to start.”

“Try the beginning. That usually works.”

She gave Missy a weak smile. “This might be the end, not the beginning. I know my sister isn't doing too well in Nashville. I feel like I should move there to help her out. I don't want to leave here, but if I stay, I don't know if Michael wants me. I don't want to hurt Ethan and I want children of my own.”

Missy wrinkled her nose and stared at her. “I'm sure that all makes sense in your head, but you're going to have to help me out. Do you want to rewind to hello and explain this to me in words of one syllable or less? I can be slow to catch on sometimes.”

That made Megan smile. Missy wasn't slow at anything. “Sorry. I'm supposed to be spending the rest of the weekend with Michael and Ethan. Michael is cautious about it all because he doesn't want Ethan to get hurt. I’m cautious about it because I don't either. And, I might have to move to Nashville because I don't think my sister can afford to live by herself. I want to stay here, but that's all tied up in being with Michael. I don't know if he wants to be with me long term, but even if he does, I want kids and I doubt he does.”

“Okay. That's a bit clearer. I think. What did Michael have to say about Nashville?”

Megan sighed. “Nothing. Because I haven't told him.”

“I see. Well, hon, it sounds to me like you need to talk to him—about Nashville, about where the two of you might be headed, and about babies.”

Megan decided to be brave. “I know it's none of my business, but you've brought Scot up by yourself, just like Michael with Ethan. Was it hard for you to let Dan into your lives? And, sorry to be nosey, but would you ever consider having more kids?”

“It was a bit different with me and Dan. You see, he and Scot had gotten really close. I didn't want to go out with Dan in the beginning because I was scared that if we broke up it would end their friendship. And it's probably not what you want to hear, but I didn't think I would ever get together with Dan for the long term because I thought he would want kids of his own and I don't want any more.”

Megan nodded sadly. Michael probably wouldn't want to be with her either. He did like her, she knew that, but even if he loved her, having children together wasn't something either of them should compromise on.

Missy touched her arm. “You need to talk to him about it. Let him know what you're thinking, find out where he stands.

***

“W
hat time is Megan coming, Dad?”

Michael frowned. Ethan hadn't stopped talking about her all week. He'd interrogated his dad about the night he hadn't come home. He had pestered him to have her over for dinner on Thursday, and he'd made his disappointment abundantly clear when Michael told him she was only going to stay Saturday night, not for the whole weekend. Michael had been disappointed at that himself, but he'd understood, and appreciated that she didn't want to monopolize all his time.

“Well? What time?”

He smiled. “Soon enough. I've told you a squillion times, she said she'd come over after lunch.”

Ethan grinned. “How many millions of times do I have to tell you not to exaggerate, Dad? It was only half a squillion! Can we call her now and see?”

Michael shook his head. “She'll come when she's ready.”

The doorbell rang and Ethan shot out of his seat to go and open the door.

“Oh. Hi Uncle Ben, what do you want?”

Michael chuckled to himself. Ethan was rarely rude, but he sounded as if Ben were a door-to-door salesman, when he'd been hoping for a special delivery parcel.

“Hey Ethan! Nice to see you too, bud.”

“Oh, sorry. Come on in. It's just that I thought you were going to be Megan.”

He led Ben into the kitchen, then sat back down and slumped his head and shoulders on the table as he heaved a big sigh.

Ben grinned at Michael. “I take it you're not the only one who's got it bad?”

Michael nodded and jerked his head towards the back door. “Yeah, want to come out back with me and we'll leave this guy to pine till she gets here?”

Ben nodded and followed him out. Ethan stayed slouched across the table, huffing his impatience.

Once Michael closed the door, Ben laughed. “Wow, my little buddy must be quite taken with her.”

Michael nodded. “He is. I am. We are.”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “So what's the problem?”

“I don't want him to get hurt. Not after everything he's been through already.”

“You really think Megan would hurt him?”

“Not intentionally, no. But she's got issues of her own, mate. I don't know if she's ready, or even capable of stepping into a family life. I don't want the two of them getting too close, unless she's ready to give him what he needs. I told you, he needs a mum. I want to be with her, but I don't know if it would be right. I love them both too much to screw either of them over by getting us all into something that's not going to work out.

Ben was staring at him with a big grin on his face.

“What?”

“You said you love them
both?
”

Michael nodded. “Yep. I'm saying I love her. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, and it's true.” He said it one more time, because it felt so good to say it out loud. “I love her.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“That's the part I'm still trying to figure out. She should be here any time now, and she's staying the night. I'm hoping we'll get chance to talk, be up front with each other and see what we can do.”

Ben nodded. “I'll get out of your hair then. I just wanted to stop by because I knew you wouldn't be over to the resort this weekend.”

“Thanks, mate.”

***

M
egan parked in the long driveway. Michael's house was so very different from the one she lived in. While hers was a little run-down place on the edge of town, his was one of the big beautiful homes on Main Street. She shuddered as she thought that it highlighted the differences between them. He'd grown up here, in this very house, a charming setting for a charmed childhood. She, on the other hand, had moved from town to town. Her little house was nicer than most of the places where she'd lived before—except Adrian's house. That had been beautiful from the outside, but for her it had been more like a house of horror on the inside.