Secrets of a Soap Opera Diva

SECRETS
of a
SOAP OPERA
Diva

ALSO BY VICTORIA ROWELL

The Women Who Raised Me: A Memoir

A NOVEL

VICTORIA ROWELL

A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com
.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2010 by Days Ferry Productions

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Atria Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Atria Paperback edition May 2010

and colophon are trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases,
please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949
or [email protected].

The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at
www.simonspeakers.com
.

Designed by Suet Chong

Manufactured in the United States of America

1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Rowell, Victoria.
   Secrets of a soap opera diva : a novel / Victoria Rowell.—1st Atria pbk. ed.
       p. cm.
1. Television actors and actresses—Fiction.
2. Television soap operas—Fiction. I. Title.
PS3618.O876S43 2010
813'.6—dc22                                  2009038948

ISBN 978-1-4391-6442-6
ISBN 978-1-4391-6484-6 (ebook)

William J. Bell
March 6, 1927–April 29, 2005

Creator and executive producer of the soap operas
The Young and the Restless
and
The Bold and the Beautiful
was an extraordinary man of infinite courage and creativity, inspiring the daytime drama industry to be more than a soap opera. Once a comedy writer in Chicago, Bill’s passion for writing was as infectious as his humor. He mentored in his own legendary way and it was a privilege to be in his wake, breathing and sometimes dancing life into his words as the popular Drucilla Barber Winters for more than a decade on the number one daytime drama,
The Young and the Restless.
I will forever hold dear his notes, photographs, and our time spent in Malibu with his wife, Lee, or in my own backyard in Hollywood. But above all I will cherish our
SECRET.
Bill gave new meaning to the Socrates quote, “The best dancer is also the best warrior.”

Calysta Jeffries is like a chocolate-covered spider—calculating, delicious, and spellbinding. She can do no wrong in front of the camera and that’s all I care about.

—AUGUSTUS BARRINGER SR.

What a privilege it has been performing for a global audience as an actress for more than two decades.

Suspending disbelief, true soap opera devotees in the millions escape for one hour a day into the fictional swirl of their favorite daytime drama, five days a week, two hundred and sixty episodes a year. For generations, soaps are shared like a prized heirloom, passed down to children and grandchildren alike.

In England it’s
Coronation Street
and
EastEnders,
Brazil tunes into
Of Body and Soul,
one of India’s many sudsers is
Kumkum.
The Caribbean is glued to the number one soap opera in America,
The Young and the Restless,
airing three times daily.

Many die-hard fans go so far as to schedule college classes, while others rearrange lunch breaks, doctor appointments, and business meetings around their favorite daytime drama so as not to miss one second of nail-biting cliff-hanger suspense. Fans around the world would defend this: “It’s a way to put real life on hold, unplug, and unwind.”

As if soap writers intuitively know the despair and dreams of those watching, a single episode can uplift spirits while shedding light on serious topics ranging from foster care, illiteracy, and breast cancer to AIDS. A soap opera and its cast of characters have the incandescent ability to
transcend language and cultural barriers, addressing millions of viewers around the world in a single sitting.

Though we can’t accurately measure the global phenomenon of soap opera culture, one thing is certain, the “stories” allow grown men and women to laugh one minute and cry the next without apology.

I’ve read thousands and thousands of letters over the years from fans who shared how they learned to speak English watching a soap opera, or coped with isolation when suffering from chronic debilitating illnesses.

Elders reported how their beloved sudser didn’t just keep them company; by engaging in one of their favorite pastimes, they felt they were keeping up with extended family members on the tube.

The imprisoned, those confined to hospital beds, and those without a bed at all proved they had one thing in common—knowing they could depend on the companionship of a soap opera, hence making it not just a daytime drama but rather a lifeline.

To soap opera fans around the world, from Africa, Greece, India, Poland, France, Germany, Japan, Brazil, Romania, the Caribbean, and Israel to Italy, Australia, Indonesia, and parts in between,
T
hank you with a capital
T
for your loyalty over the years.

Warmly,
Victoria

SECRETS
of a
SOAP OPERA
Diva

Like Thoroughbreds at the Kentucky Derby . . .
so are the bubblers at the Sudsy Awards

Ever noticed how horses act once the shot rings out at Churchill Downs? Those Thoroughbreds show more restraint than the average bubbler, aka fame-obsessed soap star, once their soap is announced winner for Best Daytime Drama Series at the Sudsy Awards. Most soap stars are so desperate to make the leap from the daytime plantation to the promised land of prime time and feature film they lose all sense of decorum when truckin’ toward the stage.

I’m not saying, er typing, any names, but a particular aging actress went so far as to knee an adorable thirteen-year-old child actor in his still-developing nether regions to get her usual spot next to the executive producer onstage. If you don’t believe moi, look at the 2008 Daytime Sudsys on YouTube. A fan recorded it with her Handycam!

In desperate hopes that some
CSI, Mad Men,
or even
Dancing with the Stars
producer might “discover” them, soap stars can’t resist the opportunity of having their freshly Botoxed mugs exposed during an hour of prime-time television.

This year, however, it isn’t the award for best show that has people buzzing on the soapvine or around watercoolers. It’s the bubbler battle for Best Lead Actress in a Daytime Serial that has sudser fans and industry insiders alike talking.

I predict gold-plated statuettes will roll, right along with a few heads, if Calysta Jeffries doesn’t finally take home the Sudsy for her role as fan favorite
Ruby Stargazer on
The Rich and the Ruthless
after tonight’s live broadcast from the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood.

Inside sources reveal the feisty actress has been threatening to quit her soap if she doesn’t win this year. Would Calysta Jeffries really do that to
R&R’s
creator Augustus Barringer, who basically plucked her from Obscurity-ville and made her a star all those years ago? I guess we’ll find out tonight.

Log on to
SecretsofaSoapOperaDiva.com
right after the telecast for all the juicy behind-the-scenes dish.

The Diva

T
he night belongs to you, kid,” said soap opera mogul Augustus O. Barringer, squeezing my hand. The legendary creator and head writer of my sudser,
The Rich and the Ruthless,
the number-one-rated daytime drama in America and around the world, watched weekly by more than a hundred million fans, said, “I can feel it.”

“You really think so, Mr. Barringer?” I asked anxiously.

“Mark my words.”

The long, boring technical awards were still under way with a svelte Valerie Bertinelli presiding. We were seated in the second row, smack dab behind Oprah’s fabulous head of hair, which only served to remind me of how I had nailed an audition for a movie
the talk-show icon had produced, snagging the coveted role opposite one of her favorite actresses as her sister. Naturally, being so excited I told the world, later finding out
from my lazy agent, Weezi Abramowitz, who called me in Greece where I was soaking up fun and sun before filming, that I’d been stripped of the part. O’s
people decided it wasn’t such great casting after all, replacing me with an out-of-towner. From that moment on, my vacation was wrecked. I drank myself silly with ouzo from Santorini to the Acropolis. Thank God it was only a nagging recurring dream.

Jolted by flashing paparazzi, the cast of
The View
—Barbara, Whoopi, Joy, Sherri, and the Republican—paraded by, air-kissing their way into front-row seats next to Rachael, Dr. Phil, Tyra, Regis, and Kelly.

Since the financial collapse, the whole daytime industry was on its ear. The soap opera spectacular’s producer, Dick Allen, being on a shoestring budget, agreed to merge with game shows, talk shows, the Internet, and cable TV, resulting in the universe of daytime programming gathering under one roof to pat themselves on the back at the Fortieth Annual Daytime Sudsy Awards, held at the Kodak Theatre in the heart of Hollywood.

After fifteen years of false alarms, I was finally poised to win the coveted Sudsy—the Pulitzer Prize, the MacArthur Genius Grant, the Guggenheim of daytime drama—for my unforgettable portrayal of firebrand Ruby Stargazer on television’s most popular soap opera,
The Rich and the Ruthless.