Labeled Love (22 page)

MY CAR IS
packed, and I’m ready to pick up Jace. My dad pulls up, as I’m about to leave. He’s cool, even for an old man. He’s dressed in a suit when he gets out of his Tesla. Even though he has a lot of cars to choose from, that one is his favorite. “Hey, Dad.”

Grabbing a Trader Joe’s bag from the passenger seat, he says, “Where are you off to?”

“Jace and I are going to the beach.”

He smiles. “Aw, to be young and not have a care in the world. I do have something to talk about, Shay. It will only take a minute.”

“What is it?”

He sets the bag down. “I saw Adam at the studio this morning, and he said you haven’t been coming in for lessons.”

“Well, to be honest, Dad, I really don’t need lessons anymore. I mastered the piano and guitar a long time ago, and I told you… I even taught Jace how to play.”

“Maybe you did, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still go. You and Adam work really well together.”

“I know we do. I’m just really busy.”

“Are you still writing?”

“Of course. You know I have a lot going on. I have school, and I’m practically on every committee there is. Plus, I have cheerleading. I would like to have some kind of social life.”

“You have a social life. You’re social all day at school.”

“That’s not the same.” I sigh. “Besides, I want to spend my free time with Jace. I don’t get to spend time with him all day,” I say, as Dad leans down and grabs his grocery bag.

“Remember, Shay. You have to stay focused on your responsibilities. Jace is not your priority.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying… Since you were a little kid, you’ve always tried to see him. Now that you have a car, I just don’t want you to lose sight of what you’ve been working for.” He pauses.

“The center isn’t in the nicest neighborhood. Where does Jace live?”

Oh God, the dreaded question. My parents don’t know that Jace won’t let me go to his house. I stutter on my words. “I-I… don’t… I-I meet him at the center.”

“You don’t go to his house to pick him up?”

“No.”

“Why?”

Seriously, why can’t my dad be like the other dads I know and stick to caring about himself? He’s so involved. I know I should be thankful, but he’s hitting a real nerve with this conversation. Taking a big girl breath, I tell him the truth, “Jace won’t let me go to his house.”

“You’ve never been there?” he asks, surprised. “In all these years, you’ve never been to his house? Not even since you’ve been driving?”

“No, I have no idea where he lives.” There, I said it.

“Don’t you find that odd, Shay?”

“Of course, I find it odd. Look, Dad, it’s no secret that Jace doesn’t come from money. I met him at thirteen years old playing football in the back of a community center with old jeans on and a T-shirt that was too tight. I remember going on a field trip with him, and he was the only kid without a lunch. I could tell he was hungry, so I shared my lunch with him. I’ve watched him walk into the center, out of breath from running from who knows where, so he could see me. I’ve seen him sick with a fever, but still sitting down at a table making me a homemade card for Christmas. So, I don’t care where he lives, Dad. I only care about how he treats me, how he has
always
treated me. I know I’m young, but I know I love him. Do I wish he would let me go to his house? Yes, I do, but he has his reasons. As for my music, he inspires me to be better, to work harder, and that includes my songwriting,” I say, exasperated.

My dad raises one hand in surrender while grasping the bag with the other. “Relax, Shay. I just asked a question. I know all too well that young love inspires, but I also know if you let it consume you, you can end up hurt.”

“Jace would never hurt me.”

“I don’t think Jace would ever intentionally hurt you, and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but he has a lot of obstacles to overcome, and you, my dear, do not,” he explains. I shake my head in agreement.

“Steven, I need what’s in that bag if you want to eat soon,” Mom yells from the front door. Smiling, he gives me a swift kiss on my cheek.

“Have fun at the beach,” he says, dropping the conversation and leaving me standing next to my car. I watch him go into the house. I know he means well; he’s just being the overprotective dad. I jump into my car. There is only one person I want to see right now.

WHEN I PULL
up to the center, I don’t see Jace. That’s not like him. I park my car and roll down my window, glancing over at the graffiti-filled building across the street. I feel a little unsettled. The center is different when no one is here. A group of guys are gathered around each other talking loudly. My music is on, so I lay my head back and scroll through my phone to check my calendar. I’m super organized with all my different commitments. I have two games to cheer for this week, an Assistant Student Body meeting, choir practice, and a French test.

Feeling overwhelmed, I close my eyes, replaying everything in my mind. Maybe I’ll get out of choir next semester. I don’t really like the songs anyway. I’ll just start going back to Adam and work on my own music. He wants to start recording my songs anyway.

As I’m relaxing, I get a sudden chill. Opening my eyes, I turn my head toward my window. A creepy guy is standing outside my car. “Um, can I help you?” He looks like a druggie; I try not to look nervous.

Where’s Jace?

“Hey, you got some change?” he asks me. I contemplate hitting the lock on my doors, but I don’t want him to think I’m scared. Clearing his throat, his voice gets louder. “Hey, sexy girl. I know you got a few bucks to spare. You either made a wrong turn, or you’re looking for something.”

Oh God, he thinks I want drugs.

Shaking, I look around wildly, trying to see if Jace is coming. “I don’t have any money on me,” I say in the most unaffected voice I can muster.

“Yeah, right. You driving a car like this, all fancy. Looks like a real nice guitar in the backseat.” He puts his hands on my window, letting his arms rest there. Looking down, I see his fingernails are dirty and track marks are visible as he moves his arms back and forth.

Jace, where are you?

“You need to back away from my car,” I say, unable to disguise my inner panic. I can’t help it; I’m in full-on panic mode. Reaching up, I prepare to hit the button to roll up my window as the man looks around. There’s no one here. His eyes dart to my small handbag lying on the passenger seat. I watch his hand slowly making its way to my door handle. When he grabs it, I fumble for the lock, trying to hit the button.

Oh my God… Oh my God…

Everything happens quickly. The man gets shoved hard. The force knocking him to the ground takes my breath away. Jace is standing above the guy, kicking him as he yells, “You better not have fucking touched her! You fucking piece of shit! I will kill you if you fucking put a finger on her!”

I’ve never heard Jace like this. Never has he spoken like this in front of me. I put my hands over my mouth in disbelief. Fear is rumbling through me, and my heart is beating hard.

“Jace!” I yell.

“Stay in the car, baby!” he says, out of breath. I stay in place, leaning my head back on my seat and letting the tears fall I was holding back. I hear Jace yell at the guy to leave. Turning my head, I see the guy run off while Jace is looking around frantically.

In a small voice, I repeat his name, “Jace.”

He looks at me with concern, sweat rolling down his forehead. His eyes have lost every bit of rage that filled them moments ago as he opens my car door and pulls me out. I’m shaking. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to make you wait. That should’ve never happened to you. God, you’re shaking.”

“It’s not your fault,” I tell him as he holds me tightly.

“Yes, it is. I should have been here. You should never be here by yourself. I’m so sorry.”

He loosens our embrace to look at me; his hands move straight to my cheeks. “He didn’t touch you, did he?”

“No, he didn’t touch me. You came… He didn’t touch me,” I say through my shaky voice.

With a pained expression, he declares, “If anything had happened to you, I would never forgive myself. I can’t let you come here when the center is closed.” He pulls my face slowly to his. His kiss is soft, barely brushing over my quivering lips. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s okay.” He breaks away from me as soon as the words leave my lips.

“No, it’s not!” He runs his fingers through his hair, pulling on it—a sign I know he’s upset.

“Jace, you’re being too hard on yourself. Nothing happened.”

“Something could have, Shay. If I hadn’t gotten here when I did… I told you I’d be here, and I wasn’t. I couldn’t get to you.”

“Why couldn’t you get to me?” He stops pacing and looks at me as though he wants to tell me, but he holds back. “Jace? Why couldn’t you get to me?” I repeat.

“I just couldn’t. You don’t need to concern yourself with that.”

“You’re just going to keep it from me? Make me wonder?”

“Shay, I don’t want you to worry. I know you; you’ll want to fix it. You can’t fix this, baby!”

I put my hands on my hips. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

“This isn’t a football game with a bunch of boys who don’t want you to play. This is real life stuff.”

“I’m good with real life stuff.”

“Not this stuff,” he says seriously, letting out a strained breath.

“If you would just let me come to your house, I wouldn’t have to wait here.”

He lets out another ragged breath before he answers. “My place is worse than this.” His eyes go wide, like he told me something he didn’t want me to know. “Don’t you get it, baby? This is my life. I don’t want you around it. I don’t want you to be scared. I don’t want you to worry if some junkies are going to come up to you. I don’t want you around any of it!”

“Stop treating me differently, Jace! Stop putting me on this pedestal like I’ll break if I fall. I’m not going to break!”

He raises his voice. Something else he has never done with me. “But you could have. If I hadn’t shown up when I did, you could have fallen hard. What could you have done, Shay?”

He looks at me. “I’m sorry. I’m just… You couldn’t have done anything. He could have hurt you.” Slowly, he walks up to me. “God, my life is so messed up. You deserve so much better than having a boyfriend that can’t even pick you up. You should have so much more than this.”

“Stop it, Jace. I don’t care about all of this,” I say, waving my hands around. “I love you. That’s all that has ever mattered to me. I will never care about all of this.”

“What if this is all I ever am?” He looks at me with raised eyebrows.

“What do you mean?” I question.

“I’m barely passing high school, I don’t have a lot of skills, and I don’t have a family to help me. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. What if I never get out of this? Can you honestly say that I’m going to be enough for you? Enough for your family?”

He just knocked the wind out of me. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. After everything… how we feel about each other and you’re really questioning me if you are enough for me?” I have the car packed, complete with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut into hearts for us to eat. I have my iPod playlist set, and he’s telling me this? “Wow.” I walk back to my car, frustrated. I feel Jace behind me, making quick strides. When his strong arms wrap around me, I stop and breathe in the boy I love.

“I didn’t mean that,” he whispers.

“Just because my family has money doesn’t mean I have to. I don’t know how many times I can tell you. I don’t care about all of that.”

“You don’t have to tell me. Your heart and the way you love me tell me every day you don’t care about all that stuff.” He turns me around so he can look at me. “You deserve to have the best of everything. Even if it’s not a big deal to you, I will always want to give it to you, Shay.” He tilts his head, releasing a deep breath.

“The only thing I want you to give me right now is a day at the beach. That’s all I want to focus on.” I pause, calming my voice. “And, I would rather have this conversation in my bikini on the sand without screaming at each other.” I give him my best smile. He runs his fingers through his sexy hair one more time, pushing it away from my favorite pale blues. Grabbing me around the waist, he pulls me in to him gently.