Labeled Love (19 page)

“That’s why I’m telling Mom to get the cake.”

Shay moves to sit on my lap, and I instantly try not to act nervous with her dad sitting next to us. He’s too busy watching Beau walk away.

Turning back around, his eyes land straight on his daughter, and then he gives me a pointed look. His face softens with a smirk. “You know, son, there are programs out there to help with the cost of playing sports.” I know he means well, but at the moment I feel like I’m two feet tall.

“I know,” I say, because I do know that. It’s just I have no support. Maybe I’m full of excuses. There are plenty of kids that make it out of the area I live in. Besides, I need to work after school. Shay still doesn’t know that.

Shay wiggles on my lap, making it harder not to be affected with her dad right beside us. I pull on her ponytail and whisper against the back of her neck, “Stop moving on my lap, baby.”

She leans into me just as her mom yells, “Time for cake!”

Thank God.

Her mom walks over and sets the cake down onto the glass table. My mom has never made me a birthday cake. The brightly glowing pink candles are ready for Shay to blow out. They flicker, lighting her pretty face. She looks back at me. Her big blues eyes radiate with happiness as she mouths, “I love you, baby.” I mouth it right back to her as my heart beats blissfully in my chest.

Bliss.
That is the word I would use to describe this moment. Every moment I get to be with her.

She is my bliss.

We’ve come a long way since she was twelve, and I’m completely head over heels in love with her. I’m devoted to her, plain and simple. I will be the richest man in the entire world if this girl smiles at me for the rest of my life like she just did. I swallow down the emotion that I feel bubbling up inside me.

Shay’s whole family, Jules included, gathers around the cake. She puts my hand in hers, and I hold it, rubbing my thumb gently across her soft skin. Mrs. Stark starts the birthday song, and we all follow. It’s really the first time I’ve ever sat around a birthday cake like this. Her mom is beaming while snapping pictures of Shay as she blows out her candles. I wonder what she wished for. She’s still on my lap as I rest my chin on her shoulder, looking up at her as she smiles at everyone around her.

As I glance around at all the happy faces, never did I think people like this would surround me. There is so much love here: all because I went to the community center all those years ago and met this beautiful girl on my lap. I rub her back, and she leans into me. For a moment, I picture us just like this, but older with our own family around us. I picture Shay fussing over our child’s birthday cake. I picture the love I have for her, like the love I can clearly see on her dad’s face right now. It’s beautiful to see the love this family has for each other. Then I look at her twin siblings, Tatum and Tristan. They make me laugh. They are totally bugging each other, not paying any attention to what’s going on around them. Tristan is holding Tatum in a headlock, and she’s pinching his side. When Shay wiggles on my lap again, I give her back a little pinch, and I know this is the life I want to have.

AFTER A BIG
piece of chocolate cake, it’s time for me to go back to reality. Shay runs into the house to get her car keys while I say the dreaded good-byes. I hate this part. Mrs. Stark gives me a hug while Tristan and Tate wave good-bye. As I shake her dad’s hand, he says, “If you ever need help with anything, you can always come to me. I mean that, Jace.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I remember being a young kid starting out. It’s not easy, especially when you have to work for everything you have.” He looks around to see who’s near. “All this… everything you see… I’ve had to work my ass off to have this. My wife knows. She’s been by my side since the very beginning, and it was tough. A lot of nights away… That’s why I love that woman so much. No matter what, she has been there for me, even when she should have kicked my ass to the curb. But, I knew the life I wanted to give her, and she was faithfully by my side through it all. As far as my kids go, this life is all they know. They haven’t seen the struggle to get them all of this.

“Remember, Jace. It’s not how you start; it’s how you finish. If I can give you any advice, it’s to never give up on what you want. When you find what makes you happy, push through until you get it.” I just stare at him. Never has anyone said something so profound to me. Like what I dreamed a father would say to his son. Something I always dreamed someone would care enough to say to me. I clear my throat.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me. Mr. Stark… your daughter… She makes me happy. I really love your daughter. I just want you to know that.”

He slaps me on the back. “ I can tell, son.” Shay runs up as her dad slaps me one more time on the back. I nod my head, thankful for his words. Then, like always, my eyes find hers, and I stare at her as she smiles. I know exactly where I want to finish.

“I’m ready,” Shay says, and all I can think about is how ready I am to already have this girl as mine. Mr. Stark’s words are loud and clear.
“It’s not how you start; it’s how you finish.”
I plan to finish with his daughter by my side, with love all around us, just like he has with his wife. I can relate to him. Strange, as different as we are, one thing remains the same: he obviously did everything to have the life he wanted, and I plan on doing the same.

We get into Shay’s car, and I know she’s going to ask to take me home, but I won’t let her. We had such a long day, and I can tell she’s tired. She hasn’t asked me about her gift, but that’s because she isn’t used to me giving her anything. Not that I haven’t wanted to over the years, it’s just I’ve never had money to buy her things. I’ve always made her cards or wrote her little love notes. I smile, thinking about her reaction when I text her in a little while.

“So, where do I turn?”

“What do you mean where do you turn?”

“I’m taking you home,” she says. I lean back in my seat and look over to her. She doesn’t look at me, but keeps her eyes on the road.

“No, you’re not taking me home. Go to the center, Shay.”

“No, I’m taking you home.”

“Shay, go to the center, please.”

“It’s late, Jace.”

“I’m a big boy.”

She lets out a strangled breath, as the light in front of us turns red. Turning to me, she gives me sad eyes. “Please, let me take you home.”

I hate to see her look at me like that, but it’s not an option. Leaning in, I kiss her lips. “No.” The light turns green, and she drives to the center. I get out of the car and walk around to the driver’s side, as she stares ahead with disappointment. When I knock on her window, she hits the button, but doesn’t make eye contact with me. “Look at me, baby.”

“I want to know where my boyfriend lives. I don’t want him to have to walk home. I thought when I got my own car things would be different.”

Trying to make light of the situation, I say, “You want a lot of things.”

She turns to me with tears spilling from her beautiful eyes. “I only want you.”

I reach my hand inside the car, wiping the tears off her face. “You have me. Now, kiss me good-bye and go home and get in that nice bed of yours, birthday girl.” She opens her car door, so I move. When she gets out, she wraps her arms around me.

“Thank you for the best birthday ever. I had the best time at the beach today, and I loved sharing birthday cake with you.”

My heart soars at just how simple Shay is. She might have everything, but she wants very little. “What did you wish for, pretty girl?”

“I can’t tell you, or it won’t come true.”

I hold her so tight I’m probably hurting her, but God, I don’t want to let her go. “Do you love me, baby?”

“More than anything,” she whispers, putting just enough distance between us for me to look into her pleading eyes. I know she wants to put me back into her car and drive me home, but that’s the one part of me that I can’t give her. It’s the only part that I can’t let her see.

“Go home, baby. Your birthday isn’t quite over yet.”

“What do you mean?” she says, furrowing her eyebrows.

“I’m just saying… You still have time to eat that cake you were devouring.”

“What? Are you saying I was eating too much cake?”

“No, I liked watching you with your mouth full.”

She smacks my arm as she says, “You’re so bad.”

“Go on. Time for princesses to go to bed,” I say, putting her loose curls behind her ears. She reaches up, presses her lips to mine, and then gets into her car. She hesitates to leave.

“Go home, baby. Get your beauty rest.”

I watch her until I can’t see her anymore, and then I run like hell to get home, so I can text her before she falls asleep.

WHEN I GET
home, it’s nothing surprising. Grace is drunk, and there is another deadbeat in the house. Beer cans litter the floor, and music is playing too loud. You would think I’m the parent, and she is the delinquent teen. She’s staggering down the hall toward the bathroom when I make my way to my bedroom. I stop when I see the guy head toward her bedroom.

“Hey, where are you going?” I ask him.

Grace walks out of the bathroom at the same time. “Go to bed, Jace.”

I turn my gaze to her. “Are we going to do this again?”

“Do what?” she slurs.

“Do I have to ask your friend to leave?”

She rolls her eyes and walks to her bedroom. I wait by the bathroom door until she comes out, holding the guy’s hand. She looks up at me. “We’re going out.”

Nothing has changed. Not even a near-death experience has shaken her into sobriety. I just keep telling myself,
“It’s not how you start; it’s how you finish.”

I’m sure the hell not finishing in a place like this.

AS I PULL
away from the center, Jace doesn’t move. Arms crossed, watching me drive away, he’s always been like that. I watch in my rearview mirror until he’s out sight. I worry, with a deep-rooted fear that one day he won’t show up at the community center, and I will be left in wonder. What if something happened to him? I would never know. I would never be able to find him. That thought scares me to the point of wanting to go against his wishes and follow him home, but I won’t. I would never betray his trust. He gave me his whole heart when he was thirteen, and I just have to trust he will always be here. Still, I just can’t shake the unsettled feeling I get whenever we’re apart. I want to know where my boy is. I
always
want to know where he is, but he won’t tell me.