Kin (12 page)

It was Valentine's Day and the nurses were looking forward to going to the Forum for a skate that evening. It was a great place to be with the gang and size up the boys. Because they were student nurses, they were expected to be ladies and wear skirts in public, but these “ladies” all wore slacks rolled up under their skirts and discarded the skirts when they got to the rink.

It was nearly time to leave the hospital floor when one of the student nurses, a shy girl from Baddeck, came out of a patient's room in tears, holding a basin and an enema bag. The others gathered around her.

“What's wrong?” Annie asked.

“That horrible man keeps trying to touch me and says terrible things while I…” She couldn't finish. One of the other nurses spoke up.

“He did that to me a few days ago. He's a pervert.”

“Give that to me,” Annie said.

The girl passed over the basin and the full enema bag and Annie marched into the room. The others crowded around the door to listen. The hospital curtain was around his bed, so they didn't get to see anything, but they sure heard it.

“How are we today?” Annie said to him.

“Real good, now that you're here.”

“I've been asked to come in and give you an enema.”

He grinned. “I can't wait. I hope you enjoy it as much as I will.”

“Oh yeah, I'll enjoy it, all right. Get on your side.”

He did as he was told and she shoved the tube into him as hard as she could.

“AGGGH!…are you crazy?”

“You could say that. Now, I want you to keep your dirty hands off the nurses and keep your slime-ball comments to yourself.”

“Take it out! Take it out! Oh, my stomach! I'm cramping up!”

“Have we got a deal, or do I have to come in here and do this again?”

“Get out! Stop it. I'll stop.”

Annie stopped. “Have a good day, asshole.”

She emerged from behind the curtain to the delight of the others, who were silently cheering so as not to attract attention.

“He won't be bothering you again,” she said to the young nurse, who looked at her with admiration.

Naturally word spread throughout the nurses' residence, and they had quite a few laughs over the whole incident. “Have a good day, asshole” became the rallying cry for anyone breaking up with a jerky boyfriend.

The Valentine's Day skate was a good time. It was like being a kid again. Annie whipped around the ice with her long legs, passing everyone. There was nothing dainty about Annie, which was quite obvious when she plowed into a guy because she was shouting at someone behind her. They both nearly fell to the ice, but managed to save themselves by clinging on to each other's coats and the momentum had them circling each other before they stopped.

“I almost fell head over heels for you,” she laughed.

She'd seen this fellow at the hospital once before, and had noticed how nice his suit looked on him, but she didn't know who he was. He had red hair and was at least three inches shorter than she was, but he had a charming smile and dark brown eyes.

“As did I,” he smiled. “Now that I've bumped into you, I'm Henry Pratt.”

“Ah, Henry Pratfall.”

He laughed at her joke. Always a good sign.

“I'm Annie Macdonald.”

“Yes, I know.”

“You do?”

“Everyone at the hospital knows who you are.”

“You don't say. That could be good or bad.”

“Only very good.”

They started to skate together while they talked.

“What do you do at the hospital?” she asked.

“I'm a doctor.”

“Go on!”

“You don't believe me?”

“You look so young.”

“I'm thirty, but hopefully that's not over the hill yet.”

“Are you from here?”

“Originally. That's why I came back. My mother lives alone and I'm her only son. You know how it goes.”

“Oh lordy, a mama's boy. I'm staying away from you.”

“I hope not,” he smiled.

They skated together the entire time and then bid each other farewell. The girls were eager to get the scoop as Annie untied her skates.

“That was Doctor Pratt, wasn't it?” Irene said. She was one of the girls Annie was close to. “The head nurse says he's very bright and that we're lucky to have him here in the Bay.”

“They're lucky to have us, too,” Annie said. “Doctors always get the glory, but we're the ones who do the grunt work.”

They all snuck a cigarette in the girls' bathroom before exiting the building. It was a blustery evening and Annie was very glad she had on Lila's scarf and mitts. Even in the midst of a group of friends, Annie often thought how much better it would be if Lila was there too. Look how much she was missing, sitting in Round Island waiting for this baby to arrive.

She caught sight of Henry walking home with a few friends. He always had a smile on his face. He happened to look up and catch her eye. When he waved, she waved back.

“I think someone is smitten,” Irene said as they walked over the snow-covered sidewalks to the nurses' residence.

“Don't be so foolish,” Annie snapped. “He's practically an old man.”

“Annie's getting mad at me, girls. I rest my case.”

Annie picked up a mitt full of snow and chased Irene down the street with it.

Annie volunteered to go down to the emergency room the next morning to deliver some papers from their instructor to the head nurse. She'd do anything to stretch her legs for a few minutes and get away from the confines of her desk. Sitting for too long still drove her mad.

At the nurses' station she was told to wait, that the head nurse would be with her shortly. That's when an ambulance pulled up to the back door of the hospital. Annie hated to see that. You never knew what you were dealing with. As the attendants wheeled the stretcher down the hall, Annie nearly passed out.

It was Lila.

She ran over to her. “Lila! My God, what's wrong?”

“Annie…”

She grabbed Lila's hand and ran with the stretcher until they got to the largest case room. Annie tried to stay with Lila, but she was pushed aside by one of the nurses. “Clear out. You're in the way.”

That's when Annie saw Pratfall. “Henry!”

He looked up.

“She's my best friend! Take care of her!”

He nodded and approached the stretcher. Annie was told to leave. She was in a daze. Lila wasn't due for another month and a half. Then she saw Aunt Eunie and Uncle Joe rush down the corridor. They seemed relieved that Annie was there.

“What happened?”

“She had trouble breathing this morning,” Uncle Joe panted.

“I don't think she's been feeling well the last few days, but she wouldn't let on,” Aunt Eunie said. “If only I made her see the doctor. I knew something wasn't quite right.”

“Don't beat yourself up,” Annie said. “I know how stubborn she can be.”

“I shouldn't say this,” Aunt Eunie sniffed, “but if it comes down to saving Lila or the baby, I want them to save Lila. Is that selfish?”

Annie wrapped her arms around Aunt Eunie. “No, that's not selfish, but I'm sure it won't come to that. There's a new doctor here that they say is very good. I'm sure they'll both be fine.”

Lila was admitted to the hospital and only Eunie and Joe were allowed in with her. It was more than frustrating for Annie, who wanted to know exactly what was going on. She'd forgotten all about her class at this point and was relieved when she saw Henry emerge from the casualty room.

“What's wrong with her?”

“I can't discuss it with you.”

“Don't give me that bullshit.”

Henry looked around to see if anyone was about. “I'm not sure what's wrong.”

“It has to do with her heart, though?”

“Or it could be a bad case of the flu. Don't worry, Annie. I'll do my best.”

Annie nodded and he walked down the hall. She left the papers with the ward clerk and rushed back to the residence, but only to put on her coat and boots. Then she ran all the way home, like she used to do when she was a kid. She burst in the front door.

“Mom!”

“In here.”

Annie paused to take off her boots and then rushed into the kitchen. Mom was doing the ironing.

“Why aren't you in school?”

“Lila's in the hospital.”

Mom put the iron back on the coal stove. “Oh God, did she have the baby?”

“No, she had trouble breathing. I'm so frightened.”

Her mother hugged her, which was just what she needed. “I know Lila is fragile, but she has a strong will, and I don't think she'll let anything get in the way of her seeing this baby. All mothers are like that.”

“Do you promise?”

“Yes.”

Annie knew that was impossible, but it helped to have Mom say it anyway. Then her mother told her to sit down and she'd make her lunch. It was like being seven again. Life was never as scary in her mother's kitchen. A grilled cheese sandwich, a piece of chocolate cake, and a large glass of milk did wonders for Annie's spirits. Of course Lila was going to be all right. Annie couldn't panic. That would only upset Lila, and she needed to stay calm and relaxed.

Then Mom said, “Do you think we should tell David?”

“What can he do in Halifax? Only worry. Let's save him from that for now.”

“You're right.”

Annie slipped in to see Lila as soon as she could. It reminded her of the awful day when Lila had tried to hurt herself. She looked small and defenceless in the large hospital bed. Thinking she was asleep, Annie backed up and was about to leave when Lila said, “Don't go.”

Annie sat on the side of the bed and held her hand. “Are you feeling better?”

Lila shook her head. “They want to keep me here until the baby's born.”

“I know that sounds terrible, but this is the best place for you right now. Aunt Eunie and Uncle Joe will be relieved to know you're being cared for around the clock. And I'll come and visit as often as I can.”

“Thanks.”

“The doctor who's on your case is really good. His name is Henry. I nearly killed him at the Forum.”

“Lucky for me you didn't.”

“You look tired. Get some rest.” She leaned over and kissed Lila on the forehead.

Later in the week, after the Johnsons went home, Annie went into Lila's room before she left for the evening to study. Lila asked her for a drink of water. When Annie came back to the room, Dr. Pratt was in a chair beside Lila's bed. He was inspecting her fingers.

“Hi, Henry.” Annie gave Lila a sip of water from the other side of the bed.

“Shouldn't she call you Doctor Pratt?” Lila said.

“She can call me whatever she wants, as long as she calls me.”

“How old is that joke?” Annie watched him. “What are you looking for?”

“I'm looking at the colour of her fingertips.”

Annie knew better than to ask any more questions in front of Lila.

“Lila, I think I'm going to start giving you penicillin. It will help you.”

“But what about the baby?”

“It shouldn't hurt the baby.”

“Okay.” Lila closed her eyes.

Henry and Annie left the room together. “It's not the flu, is it?

“I think it might be endocarditis…”

“…inflammation of the inner layer of the heart, or endocardium. Yes, of course! That explains the weight loss and the aching joints, chills, fever…”

“I take it you've been reading up on matters of the heart?”

“Lila's heart matters to me.”

One night at the residence, a phone call came in for Annie. She was in her slippers and nightgown with curlers in her hair when she went down the hall to see who it was.

“Hello?”

“Annie, it's me.”

“Hi, Davy. Are you coming home for Easter?”

“Probably. Listen, I called Mom and asked her about Lila because I haven't heard from her in a while and she sounded evasive, like she was hiding something from me. Is Lila okay?”

“She had that bug that was going around, and it kind of wiped her out, so she's been staying in bed for now. Doctor's orders, just to play it safe.”

“Oh, okay. I was starting to worry. If you see her, tell her to feel better.”

“I will. How's school?”

“Lots of work. You?”

“Lots of work.”

“I better go. There's a jerk behind me wanting to use the phone…yeah, you heard me, MacIntyre.”

“Take care, Davy.”

Annie hung up and felt as guilty as hell. This lying to people was for the birds.

The last month of Lila's pregnancy involved her receiving over a hundred shots of penicillin, but still she didn't feel much better. One morning a housekeeper came into the room to mop the floor. She nodded at Lila.

“What's wrong with you, dear, if you don't mind my asking?”

“I'm having a baby.”

The housekeeper looked shocked. “What on earth are you having? A mouse?”

Uncle Joe would drop Aunt Eunie off at the hospital on his way to work every morning and she'd stay with Lila for the day.

“I've got everything ready for the nursery,” Aunt Eunie reassured her as she sat in the chair and knit a sweater set for the baby. “It's all taken care of, so I don't want you to worry about anything.”

“That's nice.”

She was dozing off again when she thought of something. “Do you leave Freddy in the house all day? He must get lonely.”

“Don't worry about Freddy. He stays with Ewan at the farm during the day.”

“I'm glad. What did you tell Ewan?”

“I told him you were a bit run down and that the doctor thought you should rest. I'm not sure if he believed me, but I didn't tell him anything else.”

“Everyone will know soon enough.”

The days seemed to run together. Lila wasn't sure when it was morning or night. At intervals people would pop into the room to hold her hand and tell her things were going well, but it hardly mattered. It got to the point where she wasn't interested in anything, not even how active the baby was. Dr. Pratt was in every day and she thought how nice he was, but most of the time she just wanted to sleep and wished everyone would go away.

Then one day she opened her eyes and saw the head nurse sitting in the chair beside her bed.

That's when Lila realized she was dying. Head nurses didn't sit with patients unless the situation was dire. She knew that much from the little training she had.

Why hadn't someone told her she was dying? She knew everyone looked at her with sadness in their eyes, but no one said the words. If she died the baby would die. Lila resolved to live.

The baby was born a week early; a little girl. Lila was so sick that she didn't get to hold the baby. A nurse held her up. “She looks like a scrawny chicken,” Lila whispered.

Lila heard later that the Johnsons were told she had a boy, and then that the baby had died, before someone came to the rescue and straightened out the facts. That terrible news was for another family. Lila had a girl and she was fine, but only for about two days. One of the off-duty nurses called the hospital and asked them to look in on the Phillips baby, because she was worried about her. They soon discovered the baby had pneumonia. It was touch and go for a while.

Dr. Pratt came in to Lila's room one day while Annie was visiting.

“Lila, you're not going to be able to look after the baby. You're not strong enough.”

“I know that. Aunt Eunie and Uncle Joe are going to look after her.”

“You'll have to stay in bed for at least six months.”

“Six
months
?”

“I'm willing to let you go home in a couple of weeks if you promise me that you will play by the rules. Otherwise, I'll keep you in the hospital, to make sure that you follow my orders.”

Annie nodded. “You have to do everything Henry says. That way you'll build up your strength.”

“And even then, Lila, you're going to have to go to bed at six o'clock every night for a good year or more. That's the only way you have a chance of recovery. You almost died and that can't be fixed in a hurry. Because of your heart, you'll always have to be careful and rest a lot. But that shouldn't stop you from enjoying your daughter; I know you have friends that will help out. Like this one right here.” He nodded his head towards Annie.

“I lost my mother when I was young. I won't let that happen to Caroline.”

“Caroline! That's pretty,” Annie said.

“It was my mother's name.”

Freddy was so happy to see Lila when she finally returned to the house. He was eleven now and had a white muzzle, but he was still frisky enough to dance around the kitchen when he first saw her. It was heaven seeing him again.

Aunt Eunie and Uncle Joe had everything ready for her. She was to stay upstairs, because Aunt Eunie was afraid that Lila would want to help out if she saw what was going on downstairs with the baby. They had put the bassinet and changing table in their room. The whole house was turned upside down for one little five-pound infant.

But Lila didn't mind staying up in her bedroom by herself. She knew she needed the rest. The weariness in her bones was deep, so she needed no convincing that this was the best solution for now. But every day, Aunt Eunie would walk up the stairs when Caroline was peaceful and put her in Lila's arms.

“Isn't she pretty?” Lila touched the baby's face and stroked her tiny fingers.

“She's the most beautiful baby in the world.”

“I think so too.”

Her favourite thing to do was to breathe in Caroline's soft skin. That heavenly aroma of baby powder, mild soap, and clean and ironed layettes combined to make a scent that Lila knew she'd remember for the rest of her life.

Caroline was a serious baby. She didn't cry much, but looked out at the world as if she knew all about it. Lila was sure Caroline's eyes were going to be brown, but they became more greenish hazel as time went on. As soon as she started to fuss, Aunt Eunie would take her back downstairs and Lila would close her eyes and drift off to sleep.

She'd only been home a few weeks when Aunt Eunie asked if Ewan could come up to see her. Lila knew she couldn't put if off any longer, so she agreed. Ewan's boots thumped up the stairs. He looked even bigger standing at the end of her bed or maybe she was smaller.

“Hi, Ewan.”

“Hi, Lila.”

“Thank you for taking care of Freddy.”

“I didn't mind.”

They looked at each other. It was time.

“Is she mine?”

“No.”

She knew by the look on his face that she was hurting him, but she had no choice. “I'm sorry, Ewan.”

“But…the time fits.”

“She's not yours.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't tell anyone. You know how people are.”

“I know you don't love me, Lila. Is that the reason you don't want me to be the father? You're afraid I'll interfere in your life?”

“I do love you, Ewan. You're my dearest friend, but you're not the baby's father.”

He bowed his head and took a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Don't be sad.”

Ewan looked up at her. “I wanted to do the right thing, that's all.”

“You mean marry me?”

“I wanted to look after you and the baby. I still do. I don't care if she's not mine. I don't want to see you go through this alone.”

“But I won't be alone, unless you never want to speak to me again,” she smiled.

“I can't see that happening.”

“I need to get better for Caroline. That's all I can think about right now.”

He nodded his head. “Okay. I'm here if you need anything.”

“That makes me so happy. Thank you.”

Ewan backed up and slowly descended the stairs, but before he disappeared he turned his head to look at her.

“She's a sweet little thing.”

“She is, isn't she?”

“As pretty as you are.”

“Yes, I look amazing at the moment.”

He smiled and when he was gone, Lila took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes. One father down, one more to go.

* * *

Annie was leaving the residence for Easter weekend. She looked forward to having a few days off and was anxious to see David. There were times when she really missed her big brother, but she'd never tell him that; he might get a swelled head.

Lila had called and asked her to tell David about the baby, instead of him finding out when he went out for a visit. It would give him a chance to absorb the news, as it were. Annie knew he'd be annoyed with them for keeping it a secret, but if that's what Lila wanted, who were they to go against her wishes?

As she went out the door of the residence to walk home, Henry Pratt was coming out of the emergency exit of the hospital. They saw each other at the same time. Henry put up his hand in greeting and came over to her.

“Looking forward to the weekend?” he smiled.

“Yes, indeed. You?”

“My mother will make me look for Easter eggs.”

“You have my sympathy.”

“Are you in a rush to get home? Would you like to grab a coffee?”

“That would be nice.”

They walked down Commercial Street, gabbing like two old friends, before slipping into a local restaurant and ordering two coffees. Henry offered her a cigarette and lit hers before his own.

“If I could smoke in class, I would,” she said.

“I have one once in a while.”

“Not me. I'd smoke two packs a day if I could.”

“I wouldn't. They're starting to talk about the health hazards of smoking.”

“Listen, Pratfall, I could walk in front of a bus tomorrow and go splat. Life is uncertain. Why not have fun?”

“I think you have fun all the time.”

“Not all the time. I hate dusting.”

When Henry smiled at her, Annie felt like she was being rewarded for something. Like the time she and Davy got a trophy for winning the three-legged race at the annual Sunday school picnic.

“So tell me, do you like being a doctor?”

“I do. Although I'm not sure I want to work in the emergency ward forever. I always envisioned myself having a family practice somewhere. I know it sounds ridiculous to say, but I get upset when bad cases come through that door. I'd rather have a steady stream of patients that I could care for over their lifetime. This frantic emergency room drama is crazy one minute and then you may never see the patient again. I always want to know what happened to these people.”

“I'm very glad you were on call when Lila first came through that door, and grateful that you took her on.”

“How's she doing?”

“She sounds good. She's doing everything you told her to do. And Caroline is putting on weight, I'm told. I'll go and see them this weekend if I get the chance.”

“She's lucky to have you.”

Annie inhaled her cigarette and blew the smoke up in the air. “I'm lucky to have her.”

“Why's that?”

Annie thought about it for a moment. “She has this amazing imagination. Lila once told me she was a tree fairy, and I believed her! And when she loves something she loves it with her whole heart, and she's kind to every living creature on this planet. And you should see her drawings. And she can be quiet for hours on end and not move. I've always admired that.”

“She sounds like you, except for the sitting still part.”

“She came into my life and made me realize how lucky I was, with two loving parents, a wonderful brother, and a happy home. Lila had none of those things. She had nothing. I can see her yet, on that back step, looking lost and alone. It still breaks my heart to think about it.”

She covered the catch in her throat with a sip of coffee.

“You're lovely, Annie.”

Annie looked up at him. “I have to say, Pratfall, you're not bad yourself.”

He laughed and so did she.

They finished their coffee and headed out to the intersection where they would've parted ways but kept talking instead. They stayed so long that gradually Annie became aware of something in the background. There was a baby crying from the apartment next to them. It was a sobbing cry. It didn't sound right.

“That's not normal,” Annie said.

“What?”

“Do you hear that baby?”

Henry listened. “Yes.”

“There's something wrong.” Annie went up to the door of the apartment and knocked on it. There was no answer. She banged on it again. Nothing happened.

“They're either drunk or they're not there.” Annie rattled the door. It was locked.

“We should call the police,” Henry said.

“I'm not waiting that long.” Annie picked up a rock and smashed the windowpane in the door. She reached in and turned the lock, then went inside with Henry behind her and followed the sound of the baby's cries. She opened the shut bedroom door and nearly died.

A little boy about a year old was in his crib, with a full sagging wet diaper, snot and tears running down his fevered face. He was almost breathless, coughing and choking on his own spit.

“Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm here.” Annie picked him up and held him close so he would calm down. “See if there's a phone in here to call the police, or run back to the restaurant and do it from there.”

Henry found a phone in the kitchen and placed the call. The police arrived quickly. While they were explaining the situation, the mother came back.

“What the hell are you doing in my house? Was I robbed?”

Annie, still holding the baby, got in her face. “If it were up to me you'd never see this child again. How dare you leave this precious baby alone? You don't know what could've happened to him.”

“I was only gone for a minute.”

“You're a liar.” Annie turned to the cops. “Are you going to call social services? This needs to be investigated. I cannot believe there are mothers who would do such a thing.”

The woman grabbed her baby out of Annie's arms. “Who do you think you are, you stuck-up bitch? Do you know what my life is like? You think I don't love my kid? Who's gonna pay for my door? I ain't got that kind of money.”

Henry pulled out his wallet and put two twenty dollar bills on the kitchen table. “This should help. Annie, I think we should go and let the police handle this.”