Kin (7 page)

Two boys came up and stood in front of her.

“You must be new in town. I'd remember a face like yours,” said the first one.

“How old are you? You look old enough to kiss,” said the other one.

David answered for her. “She's twelve. Bugger off.”

The two boys moved away when David approached them. With his skates on, David looked imposing. Her heart beat a little faster when he came near her. That had never happened before.

He sat down beside her. “Don't let guys talk to you like that.”

“How am I supposed to stop them?”

“Growl.”

Lila laughed.

“No, the thing you have to do is pretend you're Annie. She dares the boys to say something to her and they keep away.”

Lila looked over at her friend screaming with laughter on the ice as her friends whipped her around. “I'll never be like Annie. She's special.”

“So are you.”

David left her there on the bench and went off with his friends. Lila watched him from the doorway as he crossed his skates over each other around the turns, gaining momentum with that effortless speed and grace that hockey players had.

Lately she was noticing boys more, and she had to admit that David was very good looking. She wondered why she had never realized that before.

That summer the Macdonalds arrived at their bungalow, but David was missing. He wanted to stay in Louisbourg with his dad so he could hang out with his friends. Lila was a little disappointed at first, but Annie was allowed to bring Erna Jean and Bernice as guests and it became the best summer of Lila's life. The four friends swam all day and lay out in the sun. On rainy days they stayed in and made chocolate or brown sugar fudge, eating every bit of it. They even had a taffy pull and made quite a mess, but the cleaning up was fun. While the candy cooled they'd work on jigsaw puzzles and play games.

On the occasional gloomy day, they'd hole up in Lila's upstairs bedroom and have a picnic lunch that Aunt Eunie prepared for them. Lila knew Aunt Eunie loved to have the girls around and hear their laughter and nonsense, so they made sure to spend some time with her.

With the wind howling and the rain hammering against the windows, they'd tell each other ghost stories. Annie would inevitably pinch someone in mid-sentence and the resulting screams from all of them would startle the cat.

“But the strangest thing I ever heard,” Annie said, “was about my mom and dad. It was before they were married. Dad and Mom's brother were friends and they sometimes got up before dawn to go fishing. Mom got up and made them breakfast before they left. They told her they were going to take the boat out to Port Morien. Mom went back to bed and she had a dream that she could see both men in the water and Dad was holding up a radio. She got so spooked she called someone she knew in Morien and asked them to go down to the wharf and see if they could see a boat, and sure enough he saw the two of them floundering in the water, my dad with the radio held over his head. He went out and rescued them and they were nearly blue with cold.”

“Is that true?” Bernice asked.

“Cross my heart and hope to die. Ask Mom. She'll tell you. She can sometimes sense things.”

“I can sense things,” Lila said.

“How?” Erna Jean said.

Lila hesitated. “Sometimes I know what a person is going to say before they say it.”

“We all do that,” Erna Jean said. “It's called being observant.”

“And sometimes I see colours around people or animals or things.”

“Do you see a colour around me?” Bernice asked.

“I can't do it all the time. It just happens when it happens.”

“I believe her,” Annie laughed. “She's always been odd.”

Lila threw her pillow at her.

The rest of the time they burned their noses and shoulders picking berries on hot August afternoons, and then ran down to the beach and hurled themselves into the cold salty water to cool off. They had a bonfire almost every night, marvelling at the Big Dipper and the Milky Way in the vast and unknowable sky. They lay in the field one night and counted fifteen shooting stars.

Only very gradually did Lila become aware that her energy was starting to wane. She tried to keep up, but more and more often, she'd beg off if Uncle Joe offered to take them to the store for treats, or the girls would head out for a hike around the point. She didn't like letting Annie down, though Annie never showed her disappointment.

The day Annie and her friends were going back to Louisbourg was a low day for Lila. She and Freddy walked across the field, Lila taking time to hug the big tree by the brook that ran past the Dillons' barn. It was a touchstone, a comforting ritual. When she listened hard enough, she could hear the tree's heartbeat.

Annie and Erna Jean and Bernice were helping Annie's mom pack up the car, but when they saw Lila approach, they headed straight for her. The four of them hugged each other, all of them snivelling, except for Annie. She told them to smarten up. They weren't leaving for Timbuktu.

Lila walked back to the cottage with them to say goodbye to Annie's mom. That's when she noticed that David had come with his dad to pick everyone up. He was leaning against the car with a stalk of grass in his mouth and gave her a lazy smile. It made her skin tingle.

“I see Annie Oakley and her deputies haven't killed you yet.”

“Not yet.”

“What are you going to do when my sister leaves?”

“Miss her.”

“Do you ever miss me?”

“Every day.”

He laughed at her unexpected answer. Trouble was, ever since that night in Louisbourg, it was true.

After more goodbye hugs, the Macdonalds and friends piled in the car and with a honk of the horn set off for home. Lila ran through the field waving at them. Once they were out of sight, Lila fell to the ground and lay on her back. Freddy came up and licked her face. She rubbed behind his ears, and he sniffed her pockets for treats.

“It's no fun being alone, is it? Maybe we should walk over and help Ewan with his chores.”

A week later everyone was back at school and wouldn't you know, Annie got in trouble on the first day after she yanked a skirt off a girl and locked her in the broom closet. “That'll teach you to steal my skirt off my very own clothesline!”

Girls used Annie's antics to come up to David and ask him about her. It was a way of being close to him. David had his share of stolen moments with the girls in school, some more obliging than others, but what made it so damn difficult was that the only girl he wanted was Lila. He tried every which way to stop himself from thinking about her and when he couldn't, he'd get angry and go chop wood or run to the lighthouse and back, anything to get rid of his frustration.

It didn't help that Lila occasionally came to spend the weekend with Annie. When she'd sit across from him at the table he did his best to ignore her, but who was he kidding? He drank in everything about her. The first time she arrived with her hair cut short, it was a jolt. To him, Lila was the lost little girl with golden curls he met on the porch steps, the one he wanted to protect from bullies like Mrs. Butts.

With her hair short, he could see the soft curve of her neck, the wave of her hair behind her small perfect ears, the chin that quivered whenever she was unsure. But he had no business wanting her. She was his sister's friend—though Annie, with her bony everything, still looked like a young girl. Lila was a young woman, completely unaware of her own power.

All he could do was wait. He would be her friend, her protector, her sidekick, until that day sometime in the future when she would be more than that. The only thing in his life that he knew for sure was that he loved her. There was no getting around it, or over it, or under it. This was something he'd have to deal with forever and he wasn't sure if he had the strength.

David was bright, so bright that his teachers almost fawned over him, and he knew that ticked Annie off. All his conversations with teachers usually ended with, “I wonder who your sister takes after?” or “If only your sister was as focused.”

David felt like telling them that his sister, despite her foolishness, was better than anyone else he had ever met. There was no one else he'd rather have a heart-to-heart with. She saw things and instinctively knew things before they ever occurred to him. And the thing he loved most about Annie was her loyalty and devotion to Lila. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for that girl. Which was lucky for Lila; Annie teased her friends and was merciless to her enemies.

One day David waited outside Annie's classroom just before the dismissal bell rang to give her a message from their mother for Annie to go over and pick up a swatch of fabric from Bernice's mother and bring it home.

Annie's teacher, Mr. Hershel, always packed up his belongings to be out the door before his students. His routine never wavered. He'd pick up his briefcase, grab his hat from the coat rack, slip on his shoe rubbers, and leave.

David saw Mr. Hershel pick up his briefcase, grab his hat, and slip on his shoe rubbers. But he didn't move. He just stood there, and then bellowed “Annie!”

She had nailed his rubbers to the floor.

Annie ran out of the classroom lickety-split and grinned at David as she flew by. She was gone before he could stop her. Everyone came pouring out of the classroom in gales of laughter. Mr. Hershel pried his rubbers loose and walked out, closing the door behind him. He saw David and shook his head, a big smirk on his face. “To know her is to love her.”

David went to Bernice's house to pick up the fabric. It looked like Bernice was going to faint when she opened the door.

“David! What are you doing here?”

“I came to ask…”

“If I'm free on Saturday night? Yes!”

“Uh…I need to ask your mother something.”

Her disappointment was clear. “Oh. Come in.”

So David stood in the hall while Bernice's mother arrived, found out what he wanted, and went upstairs to retrieve the fabric.

Bernice regained her composure. “Do you like oatcakes?”

“Sure.”

She ran down the hall and appeared a few moments later with a handful of warm and crumbly oatcakes. No bag, just the oatcakes. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to put them in his pocket or eat them on the spot. Bernice looked so enamored that he figured he better eat one, so he took a big bite.

“Mmm.”

“I can give you more, if you like.”

Bernice looked like she was about to disappear again so he quickly shook his head and tried to talk with a mouthful of dry oatmeal. “No, no. This is good.”

Fortunately Bernice's mother showed up and he was free to go. He tucked the cloth under his arm, put his bag over his shoulder, and left with his handful of cookies. Bernice waved goodbye until he disappeared.

The minute he walked in the door at his house, he knew something was wrong. His mother and sister were at the kitchen table and they looked worried.

“What's the matter?”

“Eunie just called. Lila has rheumatic fever.”

“Is that serious? It's just a fever, right?”

“The doctor said she can't go back to school for a whole year,” Annie said.

David put his satchel on the floor and dropped into the nearest chair. “A year? Why?”

“Rheumatic fever can be dangerous,” his mother said. “It can damage the valves of the heart.”

The fear that welled up in his throat made it impossible to speak.

“Apparently she had strep throat a while ago, and then this developed.” His mother looked distracted. “She's not a strong girl.”

“Mom, what can I do?” David asked.

“Pray.”

And so he did. Every night while he lay in bed, he asked God to protect her. It wasn't fair. Lila had been through so much already. Why did some people struggle while others waltzed through life unscathed? But he knew that life wasn't fair. He thought of the millions of people who were at war this very night. He would soon be one of them. The minute he finished school, if the war was still on, he'd go overseas and protect the innocent. At least then he'd feel useful.

Mom called Eunie and asked if Lila was well enough for a few visitors. Eunie said Lila would love the company, if only for a few moments. David was unsure if he should accompany his mom and sister. He was afraid his face would somehow give away his feelings.

In the end David went, so as not to raise suspicions. Mom made a special cake, Annie bought Lila some mystery books with her own money, and David went out into the fields near the house and picked daisies. He knew Lila'd like that.

When they arrived at the Johnsons', Eunie was at the door, Freddy wagging his tail beside her.

“How is she today?” asked Mom.

“She's tired,” Eunie admitted. “We've put her in our room downstairs, so she can be part of the action. It's too isolating for her to spend every moment upstairs.” She walked ahead of them. “Lila, you have some people who'd love to see you.”

The three of them crowded into the bedroom doorway. Lila was sitting up in bed, wrapped in a robe, looking pale and drained of energy, but she was smiling. Annie went over and hugged her right away. Mom was next to hold her in a tight embrace. David stood at the end of the bed with his flowers.

“Are those for me?”

David nodded.

“Thank you.”

Aunt Eunie took the flowers and came back a few moments later with them in a large Mason jar filled with water. She put them on the table next to Lila.

“I feel like I'm outside now,” she said.

“I'm glad,” David replied.

Annie took the books she was carrying and put them in Lila's lap. “There. This should keep you busy.”

“A good distraction from schoolwork, which I never want to do.”

“I'll go slice some cake,” Mom said. “I want you to eat a big piece.” She and Aunt Eunie went into the kitchen.

As Annie sat beside Lila, David leaned against the window ledge.

“Sit,” Lila pointed to the bottom of the bed.

David shook his head. “I'm fine.”

“So are you in pain or anything?” Annie wanted to know.

“I get feverish and my joints are swollen and achy, but it's not too bad. I'm just tired all the time.”

“You look dreadful.”

“You're so diplomatic, Annie,” David said.

“Thank goodness. She's the only one who treats me like I'm not sick.”

“So who brings up your schoolwork?”

“The teacher, Miss MacAuley, or Ewan Spencer.”

“Isn't he the boy who lives on the farm not far from the cottage?” David asked. “He was never allowed to play with us because he was supposed to be helping out at home.”

“That's him. His dad died when he was seven and he looks after his mother and two younger brothers.”

“So you have a boyfriend.”

“You're so diplomatic, David,” Annie mocked.

“He's a classmate.”

“If he ever tries anything, let me know.”

“He's not like that.”

“He's a guy, isn't he?”

“The only guy I know is you. Are you like that?”

They all had a slice of cake and then it was time to say goodbye. It was all David could do to not gather Lila in his arms and hold her tight. He gave her a smile and a wave and quickly left.

The drive back to Louisbourg seemed to take forever. Annie told them not to worry because she knew that Lila was going to be just fine. David wanted to believe her, but Mom's silence on the way home suggested otherwise. He wondered what Eunie had said to her in the kitchen.

The minute he got home he said he was going over to a friend's house, but he didn't. He went into the bush and pounded his fist against a tree trunk until he bled.

* * *

Summer, with the arrival of Annie, was a wonderful reprieve from the monotony of Lila's routine, but her weeks of bed rest had taken their toll. Her energy level was low, so she didn't go too far or do too much. Aunt Eunie waited on her hand and foot until Lila got cross with her.

“I'm not a baby. I need to do things for myself.”

“Of course you do, pet,” Eunie agreed, but nothing changed.

Uncle Joe arrived home one day with a very large package and asked Lila to open it. It was a world atlas that he had ordered from the States. “So you can travel in your imagination.”

Lila got up from the couch and hugged him. “I love you.” Then she hugged Aunt Eunie, who looked like she needed it. “And I love you, too.”

Annie spent her entire summer with Lila. She didn't invite any friends to the cottage. When Lila asked why not, she said she didn't feel like it. But Lila knew it was for her, so they could spend quiet time together. When you put Bernice, Erna Jean, and Edie in one room together it was in danger of combusting, and that kind of energy wasn't helpful to someone in recovery.

They spent a lot of time in the Adirondack chairs at the back of the house, in the shade of the maple trees so Lila wouldn't get too much sun. They'd have lemonade and one of Lila's favourite dishes, a fried cheese sandwich. Annie had never heard of anyone frying cheese in a frying pan, but that's what Aunt Eunie did. She'd place a few slabs of very old cheddar in a pan and fry it until it was bubbly and crispy around the edges. Then she'd slid the gooey mess onto a thick piece of freshly buttered white bread, and they had to eat it hot. Annie said that was one recipe she'd keep in her repertoire.

One day in mid summer, the girls were sitting out in the shade, and Annie had gone so quiet that Lila thought she was dozing. It was easy to drift off in the afternoon heat, listening to the crickets and birdsong all around them, the wind rustling the leaves above their heads. Lila closed her eyes and willed herself to get better, to feel better; to stop the constant anxiety that used up her precious energy and just live.

Out of the blue, Annie—not asleep after all—said, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“I just want to grow up.”

Annie turned her head and looked at her. “What do you mean? Of course you're going to grow up.”

“The doctor says my heart is damaged.”

Annie sat bolt upright. “What are you talking about? When was this?”

“He comes pretty regularly to check how I'm doing. He said he heard something with his stethoscope that didn't sound right, like maybe I have a leaky valve.”

“So he'll fix it.”

“I don't think it's as easy as that.”

“I say it is. I say that we'll grow up and find a solution to this problem.”

“Okay,” Lila laughed.

Annie rubbed her forehead, as if to ease a sudden pain.

“I don't want you to tell anyone. I can't stand the thought of people pitying me. I need to be normal. That's all I ever wanted. Do you swear?”

“Maybe Aunt Eunie already told my mom, but I swear I won't tell David.”

Lila spit in her hand and held it out. Annie spit in hers and they shook on it. They sat back in their chairs.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Lila asked her.

“Armed with this new information, I'm going to be a nurse and then a doctor. I'll have you as right as rain in no time.”

For the third time that week, Lila said “I love you.”

Another summer turned to fall, another fall turned to winter. Lila was able to go back to school for grade nine, but most weeks she missed one or two days. Ewan got in the habit of walking her home, just to make sure she got there safely. He was quiet and calm, which was why Lila liked him. He never looked at her like the other boys did. She could be herself.

One day the weather turned milder throughout the afternoon and the crusty ice started to melt. Instead of walking on the snow, Lila was sinking down with every step up to her knees. Before she had a chance to say anything, Ewan picked her up in his big arms and carried her, Freddy dancing around them the entire time.