Kimber (17 page)

“Stop!”
I yell running to Luke’s side and fall to my knees. Leo stands over me dazed,
his eyes an ominous gray. “Stop, you’ll kill him!”

Luke
chokes on every breath. I can practically hear the blood gurgling in his lungs
as he tries to breathe. He’s swollen and covered with blood. His blond hair is
sickly red. His lips are split from top to bottom. I don’t need to look under
his shirt to know his torso will be one large bruise. He holds one hand over
his right eye and the other on his chest.

I
reach in my pocket and retrieve my phone. As soon as it’s in my hand, Leo pulls
it out.

“He
needs to get to a hospital!” I protest.

“Go
back upstairs. I’ll take care of it.” His voice is shaky. After what I’ve just
seen, maybe I’m not safe down here, with him.

“What
are you going to do?” I ask not sure I really want to know. In Mob movies, when
people take care of stuff, not everyone comes back, alive.

Leo
reaches for me but when he realizes his hands are covered with Luke’s blood, he
pulls away. 

“Go
upstairs Kimber. I don’t want you involved.”

I
look down at Luke. He lies helpless and I can’t hold anything he’s said or done
to me against him. He needs me. I know leaving him with Leo isn’t a good idea.
He needs a hospital and fast.

I
look at the painted numbers on the ground. To my left is number five twelve. I
know what I have to do.

“It’s
a little late for that, now help me move him over to my car.” I motion to my
BMW four spots down. Thank goodness for magnetic key holders. I move my hands under
Luke to grip him under his arms.

“I’ll
go.”

 “No!
We’re in this mess because of you. Now, help me.”

Reluctantly
he helps me. He offers to follow me there. I decline and inform him that I will
be at the hospital until I know Luke will be ok. Regardless of what Luke has
done, he’s been my friend. The one who stood by me at my mother’s wake. The one
I feel I owe.

As soon as I arrive at
the E.R a team of doctors and nurses assess Luke’s injuries. X-rays show a broken
nose, fractured collarbone and four broken ribs, one of which punctured his
left lung.

 As
he is taken away to surgery a nurse stays with me for a full explanation of why
and how this all happened. I stutter uncontrollably. I hadn’t anticipated
needing a cover story. I rack my brain for a believable explanation. Mugging.
Attached by five men. Fell off a roof. Hit by a car. Wrong place at the wrong
time. Anything that would fit the injuries Luke has.

“Um.
He ah, fell.” I offer as an explanation.

It’s
completely obvious to her I’m lying and that thinking quick on my feet isn’t my
forte. Guess I can cross that off my list of possibilities.

“Kimber!”

I
turn to see Leo sprinting into the waiting room.
Oh thank God
! I sigh
with relief.

“What’s
going on? Is he ok?” Leo asks the nurse. I can’t decipher if his actions are
real or forced.

“Who
are you?” The nurse asks.

“Leo
Chambers. Luke Sephner is my cousin. Is he ok?” Leo’s response is quick and
believable. So believable in fact that for a minute I find myself questioning
if they really are cousins.

“Are
you aware of what happened to your cousin, Mr. Chambers?”

I
freeze. The nurse gives Leo the once over. A foul look distorts her face. I
turn to Leo and see the same incriminating evidence the nurse sees. Blood!
Blood I hadn’t noticed a moment ago. Luke’s blood covers Leo’s hands, arms and
his light gray T shirt. Why hadn’t he changed or washed it off? I feel the same
foul but guilty look fill my face.

“We
were four wheeling. Luke tried some trick he’d never done. It all happened fast
after that.” Leo looks at me. I nod and turn back to the nurse. His lie is
flawless. He even manages to appear genuinely concerned. Maybe he is.

Right
away, the nurse seems to buy it. She informs us that as soon as a doctor has
anything to report on Luke’s condition we’ll be notified.

Hours
crawl by. Three hours and twenty-three minutes to be exact before Luke is in
recovery and placed in the intensive care unit. Luke’s surgeon informs us that
the biggest threat was the hole in his lung. Luke was to remain in ICU until
his vitals improved.

I
lie to the doctor, telling him I’m Luke’s sister, since only immediate family
is allowed in the ICU. I don’t ask Leo to come.

Luke’s
face is wrapped in bandages and white gauze. His body thankfully covered with a
soft blue wool blanket. I touch his hand ever so slightly so I don’t disturb
the IV’s that are placed in his right arm.

“I’m
so sorry Luke.” I whisper in his ear.

Before
I leave, I jot down my number and I ask the nurse watching over him to contact
me with any changes.

            “How is
he?” Leo asks as I enter the waiting room.

“He
looks horrible.”

I
want to collapse into Leo’s arms but I know that can’t happen. Leo’s arms are
no safe place, not after what I witnessed them do to Luke.

“He’ll
pull through. Luke’s too stubborn to let me have the last word in anything.”

I
roll my eyes at him and turn to leave. Can he not comprehend how close to death
he beat his ex best friend? 

“Kimber.”
Stupidly I stop and wait for what he’ll say. “Will you come with me?”

“After
what you’ve done, honestly, no.” I walk out of the hospital weak, exhausted and
stressed out.

Back
at my condo I keep my cell phone close in case the hospital calls. I turn on
the TV though nothing on it interests me.

I
drown out the sound with troubling thoughts. I can’t shake what Lena said.
Something about Leo and how he’s different. Even Luke had his roundabout way of
saying it. Had I witnessed it? Sure Leo can fight like no one I’ve ever seen
but does that really qualify him as different?

And
what about my memory? For months I’ve just assumed, idiotically, that my
mother’s death and the traumatic stress brought on by it, caused some sort of
memory lapse. But it’s a lie. No stress, traumatic or not, only blocks out one
person though years of memory. Something happened. Only one person has answers.
If I wish to keep what sanity I have left, I have to face the answers head on.

I
WAIT FOR Leo in the public parking area on Madeira Beach. It’s after eight so I
don’t have to feed the meter. The parking lot is scantily lit.

I
can remember so many nights spent on this beach staring up at the stars and
wondering where fate would lead me. According to Leo, my suggesting this beach
came as no surprise. Apparently, it was a favorite of ours. So he says.

Ten
minutes later his enormous truck pulls in and my heart accelerates.
Stay
focused
, I remind myself but it doesn’t stop the nerves. I thought that by
wearing jeans, flip flops and a white baby doll tee, I’d set a casual tone for
the meeting. The moment I see him it feels intimate. I tuck misplaced hairs
behind my ears.

Thankfully
Leo showered, cleaning the blood from him. His dark faded jeans sit just right
on his hips and aren’t too tight or too baggie. His blue and white stripped
polo make his electric blue eyes radiate. It’s now I realize that they’re
always different colors.

As
he steps away from his truck, I smell him.
Bijan Black
. I don’t know
where I know it from but I’m positive it’s the cologne he wears. It isn’t
overpowering but subtle, allowing me to enjoy it’s sweet, black aroma.
Everything about him makes me want more. I manage to remind myself that I’m
here on business, not pleasure.

“You
wanted to see me?”

He
stops a few feet in front of me. I drink the sight of him in. Tall, blazing
blue eyes, mouth set in a straight line. He looks away like he can’t be
bothered to look at me the way I’m looking at him.

“You
wanna take a walk?” I ask looking out at the empty beach. Somewhere in me I
know it isn’t a smart idea but even death at his hands would mean he’d have to
touch me.

“I
thought you were afraid of me?” His brow twitches but only on the word afraid.
He’s besting me.

“I
guess I’m a risk taker.”

He
laughs. “ No you’re not.” He retorts walking ahead of me. I follow him.

We
walk down the beach until the dim parking lot lights become lost in the night.
We trek through the sand until finally Leo stops in front of the shoreline.

The
ocean is black under the moon’s light. The white caps of the waves are barely
seen as the ocean meets land. I peer up toward the dark sky lit by dozens of
tiny little shining stars. I close my eyes and listen to the ocean. A soft
breeze brushes my face just as I inhale its aroma.

Leo
stands stiff, hands in his pockets. I don’t imagine he sees what I do as he
looks out over the water. With good reason. This very body of water almost took
his life. Suddenly I regret asking him here. Why did he even come? I wonder
what he sees as he looks out over the water. Death? Fear? Life? Does he feel
grateful or wish it had all ended that day. I wish I could touch him without
feeling as though I can’t let go. If I could only see inside him.

“I
keep fighting it, but, I need to know you.” I can’t be vulnerable but I can be
open minded. With Leo I don’t think there’s any other way. He has to know he
can trust me. 

Without
facing me he turns his head to the side, his stance unchanged. “I don’t know
that I want to know myself anymore. Nothing’s right.”

“Are
you talking about Luke?”

He
nods, looking back out at the water. “We came up together. I know the kid
better than I know myself. How could I lose control like that?” He turns to me.
His brow furrowed in frustration.

I
step closer. “Emotion took over. Some people even black out when that kind of
thing happens.” I haven’t got a clue if it’s the right thing to say but it’s
something.

He
sighs and turns back to the water. I run my fingers through my wind tangled
hair. I don’t know how to make him feel better. I don’t know that I should.
What he did, how he did it, it was malicious.

“You
made me a promise, the one you’ve been keeping, what was it?” I wait but he
doesn’t respond. “Leo?”

He
turns to the sound of me calling his name. He studies me, looking at me as if
it’s the first time. A smile just about makes it onto his lips. He walks
towards me stopping as the tips of his sneakers meet the tips of my sandals. I
look up and into his hazel eyes. His hands run up my arms until they cradle my
face. The feel of him is intoxicating and I can’t help but lean in. Every ounce
of my skin vibrates with a warm feeling. I fight the urge to grab him.

“You
thought I’d die. That you’d lose me. You waited for two days, suffering with
thoughts I’ll never know.” He caresses my face and smiles with such fondness. I
long for the memory he’s recalling. “I swore you’d never feel that way again.
I’ve kept that promise.” He drops his hands from me and steps back. “Until
now.” His arm brushes my shoulder as he walks past.

 At
first I don’t know what’s happened. I’m so transfixed on him, his words echo in
my mind. 

“No!”
I turn and run after him. “No!” I yell again as I come up behind him, shoving
him in the back. He keeps walking. I run in front of him but he walks around
me. Air begins to rush in and out of me.

“Why
do you keep doing this?” He doesn’t stop to answer me.

I
scramble my brain to come up with something that will make him stop. I can’t
figure him out. Hot. Cold. With every step he takes a part of me breaks.

I’ve
been afraid of feeling the way I do now, for this reason, yet it’s snuck up on
me. I’m everything I said I wouldn’t allow him to make me into. The emotion
I’ve fought, but it was just an illusion. You can’t fight something as strong
as what I have. I know how I feel, terrifying as it is; I still can’t force
myself to speak the words I know would stop him. I cannot knock the wall down.

I
walk back down to the shoreline. I sit just out of the waves reach. Here I stay
for who knows how long, listening to the sound of the waves roll in and the
thump of my revived heart missing its mate.

I
WAKE THE next morning with a full list of things to do. It’s the only way I can
insure my mind stays busy and off of certain people. By that I mean just the
one, starting with the letter L followed by EO.

First
I call the hospital. From the sound in the background, the hospital is buzzing
with commotion. Busy Monday I guess. I tell the nurse I’m Luke’s sister and
learn that there has been no change in his condition. On a positive note, the
sheer fact that he made it through the night is a good sign. I request to be
informed upon any change good or bad. Second, I plan a much needed shopping
list. It’s a pathetic attempt. I must be the only girl who has to make a lame
to do list in order to forget about a guy who I’ve legitimately forgotten once
already.