Keeping Her Secret (12 page)

“Oh Lord,” Courtney said.

“How long?” Colt asked.

“Four years,” Riya said at the exact same time Courtney said, “Two days.”

They looked at each other. Pink swept across Riya’s cheeks and she shrugged. Riya had been sure for so long, and she’d waited all that time for Courtney to realize it.

“How come no one told me?”

Courtney didn’t have an answer for that. It seemed unfair to say she thought her brother might disapprove, but she’d been scared.

“We’re not telling anyone,” Riya said, sliding her gaze sideways, checking for Courtney’s confirmation.

Colt watched Riya closely. “Why not?”

Riya did not waver. “Courtney’s not ready to come out yet and I respect that.”

A surge of affection filled Courtney’s chest. She lifted Riya’s hand to her lips and planted a soft kiss on her knuckles.

Colt nodded, but his mouth twisted. Courtney knew that look. She checked the clock on the wall.

“You should head over and get changed before dinner,” Courtney told Riya, motioning to the bathing suit she still wore. “Colt and I will follow in a couple of minutes.”

Sorrow twisted Riya’s features. Courtney squeezed her hand and kissed Riya’s temple. It was a promise, one she knew Riya would understand.

On her way out the door, Colt offered her his fist. Laughing and shaking her head, she raised her own and mashed their knuckles together.

Seconds after the door clanked shut, Colt stared intensely into Courtney’s eyes.

“What?” she challenged.

“You know what,” he said.

“I thought you were happy for me?” She stood stock still, returning his stare.

Colt, as always, ignored her attempt to derail. “Don’t hurt her.”

“I don’t want to,” Courtney said, but preemptory guilt twisted painfully in her stomach. In a couple of weeks, they’d all have to go home. There was no way she and Riya could have a happy ending. But there was no reason why they couldn’t have a happy summer. That would have to be enough. A few perfect weeks by the lake would have to carry her through whatever else waited in her future.

Before she knew it, the taste of salt filled her mouth and her vision blurred. Colt was up and hugging her before she even realized she was crying.

“What am I going to do?” She choked on her words.

Colt hushed and rocked her until her sobs subsided. Then he pulled back, examining her face. “You really want my advice?”

She nodded, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Even though I wish you felt differently, I get if you don’t want everyone to know you’re in a relationship with Riya.”

Courtney began to speak, but he held up a finger. “But pretending like you still hate each other is torturing you both. She’s mopey. You’re more of a bitch than usual. It’s not good for anyone.”

Courtney chewed her lip as she considered. “You want us to be friends.”

“You’re already friends in private. Like friends plus, I guess.” He motioned to the chair she’d been sitting in when he’d arrived. “Besides, she’s terrible at pretending like nothing’s going on.”

Courtney laughed, remembering catching Riya staring longingly at her dozens of times over the last couple of days. “True.”

“A good friendship is basically like dating without the touching anyway,” he reasoned. “I mean, on the outside. Consider it a trial run.”

Maybe Colt was right. Trying to act like everything was the same as before wasn’t working. And with Colt and Dee getting closer, it would appear totally natural. It was only for a couple of weeks, after all. Then she’d have to go back to her normal, suffocating life. It was reasonable to enjoy herself while she could.

Colt walked over to the door and held it open for her. “Time for dinner.”

Slowly, they walked on the boys’ side of the lake. Colt had already changed for dinner, and Courtney had planned to go straight from dancing. Halfway to the cafeteria, Courtney had decided to try Colt’s suggestion.

“I’m lucky to have you, Colt,” she said.

He shrugged. “I know.”

“Seriously, thank you.”

He smiled at her. “Does she make you happy?”

Riya made her nervous and excited. She thrilled her and calmed her. But most importantly, unlike any boy she’d ever dated, Riya made her
feel
.

“Yes,” Courtney said.

“I knew it,” he whispered.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. To her surprise, Colt escorted her to her table. He flirted with Dee, but Courtney knew what else he was doing. He was easing her transition just by being there. And she loved him for it.

She slid into the seat next to Riya and bumped her shoulder. “Hey,” she murmured.

Riya looked up, eyes wide, mouth parted. For a second, Courtney considered abandoning all the rules and kissing her right then, but the crush of people around her reminded her to control herself. The table went silent as Riya’s friends saw what was happening.

Courtney lifted her chin in greeting. “What’s up?”

Chapter Twelve

Riya couldn’t believe it. Courtney had hung out with her all night, laughing and being nice to her friends throughout dinner and the night’s ice cream social on the beach. Even Tiffany tolerated her presence. Mostly.

And when no one was looking, she’d brush her arm against Riya’s or tickle her fingers on Riya’s knee. Whatever Colt had said to Courtney after she’d left, Riya’d have to thank him for it later.

But every furtive touch left Riya wanting more. When Courtney placed her hand on Riya’s shoulder as she laughed, Riya barely fought the urge to close the small distance between them and plant a peck on her pink lips.

Everyone sat on the shore, toes dipping in the water as they licked ice cream from little plastic spoons and watched the sun set over the mountains. Riya felt the warmth radiating from Courtney’s long body beside her as the last slice of sun disappeared behind a greenish-gray slope. The moment was so perfectly romantic—or it could’ve been. Riya saw nothing wrong with slipping her arm over Courtney’s shoulder and pulling her closer, but she knew Courtney wouldn’t see it the same way.

Courtney would flip if she tried it. But why? They were at summer camp, the place where you could be who you wanted to be without worrying about what people back home would think. Courtney didn’t even talk to Bridget outside of camp, so Riya couldn’t understand why she was so worried about people here finding out about them.

“Earth to Riya,” Courtney said, bumping her shoulder against Riya’s.

Riya’s head jerked up and she found Courtney staring at her, sporting a grin that set her oceanic eyes ablaze with joy. Riya couldn’t hold on to her thoughts for long with Courtney gazing up at her like that. Courtney was happy. That was enough for Riya. For now.

Riya rode the high of Courtney’s happiness as they all got ready for bed. All the G7A girls were in the bathroom, brushing their hair, washing their faces, taking showers, gossiping about the boys. Stefanie and Elise teased Dee about Colt.

Then, Tiffany elbowed Riya and pointed two sinks over to where Courtney brushed her teeth. Courtney’s face twitched in confusion, then her eyes crossed as she looked down at her toothbrush. Riya gasped. The prank. How had she forgotten?

Courtney spat in the sink repeatedly. She looked over, catching Tiffany and Riya watching her.

“What did you do?” she said.

Dee, Elise, and Stefanie’s conversation halted. They burst out laughing. Tiffany fisted a hand against her lips and her shoulders shook from laughter.

Courtney stuck her tongue out three times. She smacked her lips together. “I can’t feel my tongue.” Her words came out slightly garbled.

By then, every other girl in the cabin watched Courtney. Most were laughing, but a few appeared concerned.

“Wha d oo do?” Courtney asked again. “Dis is freaing me oud.”

Riya saw the panic in Courtney’s eyes and couldn’t let it continue.

She rushed to her side. “It’s just that stuff you put on your tooth to numb a toothache. You’ll be okay. Rinse it out.”

She rubbed her hand twice up and down Courtney’s back. Courtney’s eyes went wide.

“Sorry,” Riya whispered. “I forgot.”

Courtney shoveled water into her mouth with her hand and spit it out, repeating the process.

Dee joined them, stifling further laughter. “Sorry, we did it this morning.”

“Before you were nice to us,” Elise clarified.

Tiffany shrugged. “She put Riya’s stuff on the lake. She deserves it.”

Courtney’s body stiffened, and Riya took a step back, bracing for her anger. Courtney straightened and turned to face Tiffany. Riya didn’t know if those two had a history or if they just had clashing personalities, but they really didn’t like each other.

The two stared at each other for a couple seconds. Riya wondered if she should do anything. If they started fighting, who would she support? Was it possible to stay neutral?

Then Courtney laughed.

Riya could’ve cried from the relief she felt. She examined Courtney’s expression but found no animosity there.

“Nie one, Diya,” Courtney said, unable to pronounce some of the consonants.

And just like that, the night continued as though nothing had happened. It was a miracle. Riya silently promised to buy Colt something nice.

After lights out, Riya changed into her pajamas and crawled beneath her blanket with a smile on her face. All around her, girls talked for about an hour before the conversations finally ceased entirely. Content, Riya drifted off to sleep.

She didn’t know how long she’d been asleep when she started awake. A weight on the inside of her mattress messed with her balance and the springs underneath her creaked. She blinked.

Courtney knelt beside her on her bed. “I couldn’t sleep,” she whispered.

Riya glanced around the room to discover everyone else soundly asleep. Already lying on her back, she scooched to one side and raised her arm. Smiling, Courtney slid her phone under Riya’s pillow before resting her head on Riya’s shoulder.

“My tongue is still numb,” Courtney said.

Riya chuckled.

The warmth of Courtney’s body melted into Riya’s side. Riya wrapped her arm around Courtney’s back, resting her hand on the bend in Courtney’s waist. Courtney made a soft cooing sound before laying her arm across Riya’s stomach.

If Riya hadn’t already been half asleep, she didn’t think she’d be capable of falling asleep with Courtney Chastain lying next to her like she was. But Courtney’s body relaxed and her breathing became deep and regular, lulling Riya back into sleep.

They both woke when Courtney’s alarm buzzed underneath the pillow a full seventy-five minutes before everyone else would be waking. Courtney greeted her with a sleepy smile and a small kiss at the corner of her mouth before climbing down the ladder, as quiet and stealthy as a cat.

They got ready for their morning practices in comfortable silence. Well, it was mostly silent, except for when Riya dropped her toothpaste when Courtney handed it back to her and it bounced across the tile floor. Courtney shook her head, stifling a giggle.

On the walk to the court, Courtney drifted close to Riya’s side, allowing their arms to touch. The intermittent brush of Courtney’s skin against hers made Riya’s head feel light and slightly woozy.

Their steps fell slow and lazy, taking their time for once. They talked in low voices, heads bent toward each other, about school and parents.

“My parents just don’t understand why I would ever make a decision different from the one they would make,” Courtney said. “They literally can’t even begin to comprehend it.”

Riya shook her head in sympathy. She could only imagine how suffocating that could be. Her parents were amazing, she’d always known it, but Courtney’s stories about her parents threw hers into stark contrast. Riya had always believed Courtney had the perfect life, but every time Courtney opened up about her parents, a little bit of paint flaked off that picturesque forgery.

When they reached the volleyball court, Courtney spun in a slow circle, checking their surroundings, before planting a long, lingering kiss on Riya’s lips.

…

The next ten days continued in the same happy compromise. Courtney and Riya were friends in public, which everyone but Bridget and Tiffany accepted without complaint. But Riya could deal with a couple of snide comments, even when Bridget asked Courtney, “Why are you slumming with those losers?” as they walked to the pool one day.

“They’re not losers,” Courtney said in a tone that dared Bridget to argue with her.

Riya lived for the stolen moments when they were alone and she could feel Courtney’s skin on hers for more than a passing graze, when Courtney kissed her like she had no reservations. They never talked about what would happen after camp. There was an unspoken moratorium on the subject. Riya knew her family was moving within a reasonable driving distance of the Chastain estate, so continuing the relationship was feasible. If Courtney wanted to continue it. And that’s why Riya never brought it up: she wasn’t sure Courtney was ready for talk of the long-term. She couldn’t stand it if the answer turned out to be no.

Riya now expected the late-night weight-shift on her mattress. Some nights, she looked forward to it so much that she couldn’t fall asleep until Courtney was there in her arms.

Riya’d all but stopped suggesting to Courtney that they take their relationship public. Every time, Courtney’s eyes would go wide with panic, and she’d turn distant for a couple of hours. Though Riya wanted it more than anything, she didn’t want to deal with the fallout anymore.

Mostly, they cuddled and slept, but sometimes Courtney would kiss her good night and Riya would kiss her back and neither of them wanted to stop.

“I don’t think I can sleep without your arms around me anymore,” Courtney whispered in Riya’s right ear. Her breath tickled Riya’s neck.

Riya tightened her right arm around Courtney and pulled her closer, caressing her shoulder with her other hand. Courtney brushed her lips over Riya’s neck, planting feather-light kisses she knew made Riya melt into a puddle. Courtney’s hand slipped under Riya’s shirt, tracing random shapes on her stomach.

Riya held her breath each time Courtney’s hand trailed upward. Courtney raised her head and their eyes met. The corner of her mouth quirked up as she traced her hand exquisitely slowly, testing the limits of where they’d gone before.

When Courtney’s fingertips skimmed the bottommost curve of Riya’s breast, Riya pulled both lips into her mouth and bit down to keep her moan from escaping. Courtney’s touch was a live wire, sending bolts of sensation deep into Riya’s body.

Courtney’s eyes danced with amusement.

Two could play that game.

Riya turned on to her right side to face Courtney. She slipped her free hand to the back of Courtney’s neck and pulled her to her, kissing her for all she was worth. Color flashed behind Riya’s closed eyelids every time Courtney’s tongue moved against hers. When Courtney broke free to catch her breath, Riya’s hand followed the line of Courtney’s arm down to her hip. She slipped two fingers under the waistband of Courtney’s pajama shorts.

Courtney’s breath caught.

Riya slid her fingers along the waistband until she reached Courtney’s prominent hipbone. Courtney’s skin was so impossibly soft and smooth. Lifting the waistband away from Courtney’s skin with her middle finger, Riya slowly circled the protrusion with her index finger.

Courtney writhed, then tossed one leg over Riya’s thigh. “You are going to drive me insane,” she whispered into Riya’s shoulder.

“That’s the plan.” Riya echoed Courtney’s own words back to her.

Courtney hooked her leg around Riya’s legs and shifted her weight, rolling Riya onto her back with Courtney lying on top. “Not if I drive you crazy first.”

Grinning, Riya covered Courtney’s mouth with her own.

…

Courtney yawned as she worked her w
ay through her regular stretches in the rest time after lunch. Last night with Riya had been incredible, but the late nights were starting to take a toll on her motivation in the mornings. She felt the calendar ticking off the days, and she knew there was only so much time before she’d have to give Riya up and go back to the real world. Every time she thought about it, her chest ached like it was being squeezed in a vise. Courtney wanted to milk the days they had together for as much fun as possible.

Riya sat in the corner, watching. She’d promised to stay hands off so that Courtney could get an hour of solid practice time in. The dance was starting to take shape, but it was still rough and she often forgot what came next.

A distinctive knock sounded at the door. Three quick taps and then a hard knock.

“Yeah,” she said.

Colt entered. He’d knocked before entering since that first time he’d walked in on them. He pulled a chair next to Riya and sat down. Courtney hadn’t seen him a whole lot in the last week because he’d been spending so much time with Delores—
Dee
, she reminded herself. Her friends called her Dee, and that included Courtney now.

“How is she?” he asked.

“Amazing,” Riya said dreamily.

Colt laughed. “I think you might be biased.”

He leaned back in the chair, and they both watched in silence as Courtney worked through the song twelve times. When she started her cool down stretches, Colt cleared his throat.

She slowly raised her eyes. “You have something to say?”

“No,” he began. “Well, yes, but not about the dance. It’s beautiful.”

She folded her body at the hips, lengthening her muscles and settling deep into the stretch. “What is it?”

“You should tell Dee,” he said.

Courtney snapped to her full height and she glared at her brother. Riya switched her wide-eyed gaze between the two of them.

“Absolutely not,” Courtney said.

Riya seemed to shrink back, pressing her back into her chair.

“Court,” Colt said, holding up his hands. “Hear me out.”

“No. You hear me out. You only found out because you barged in.”

Colt stood. “And you thanked me for it, remember?”

“Dee is different,” Courtney argued. “I don’t trust her.”

“I do,” Riya spoke up. “She’s my best friend here.”

Courtney flinched. She’d felt intermittent guilt over not letting Riya tell her friends about them. It was usually a fun part of dating someone—being able to squee at and celebrate with and brag to one’s friends as things progressed. But if Dee knew, then it wouldn’t be long before her other jock friends knew, and then the whole freaking camp.

Colt threw out an arm to motion to Riya. “See? It would give Riya someone to talk to about the situation, if she needs it.”

“She can talk to you. You’re her friend,” Courtney said. “And why would she need it?”

Colt made a vague gesture like it was obvious. He was getting defensive. Worse, he wasn’t trying to convince Courtney it would be to her benefit. Something was up.

“Why?” she asked. “Why do you want me to tell Dee that I’m with Riya?”

He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. “I don’t want to lie to her anymore. She keeps asking me questions. She knows Riya liked you, and she’s afraid you’re playing with her mind or something.”