Kate Sherwood - Dark Horse 2.2 - Head Shy (4 page)

as some heavy weight flops down on the bed beside him. There's the tickle of breath on his face. "No, dude, you're talking. And as cute as it is when you talk in your sleep, I've noticed that you never actually claim to be asleep. Not when you actually
are
asleep. When you're actually asleep, you seem to think that you're awake." Evan pauses, thank Christ, but the peace doesn't last for long. "And you tend to be strangely obsessed with rain. When you're sleep talking. But you're not talking about rain now… hence, my conclusion is that you're awake."

Dan groans. "It's raining. Fuck off." There's no response, no motion… nothing. Dan cautiously opens one eye, and almost jerks his head back when his entire field of vision is filled with Evan's enormous, blurry face.

"And your eye opened!" Evan crows. "You don't sleep
look
, that's for sure!" He moves the fraction of an inch that's required to give Dan a boisterous kiss. "Morning, Dan!"

Dan can't properly verbalize his disgust at this development. "Mwaarghhh," he tries, and he rolls right over to face the opposite direction. Jeff's direction. Dan feels Jeff's fingers tickling in his hair, and that's nice, that's lovely to fall back asleep with, but Jeff's rubbing too hard, it's stimulating, not soothing, and Jeff knows better than that… Dan swipes at Jeff's hand, tries to get rid of it, but there's just another chuckle, and then the bed shifts as Jeff leans away, and then back again. Dan's nose gives him the first good news he's had all day. "C'ffee?"

"Open your eyes, and you can have it." Jeff's a tough negotiator. Dan thinks about stonewalling, but he knows they're not going to give up, and… coffee. He opens one eye to be sure it's not a trick, and there Jeff is, holding a mug of something cautiously away from the bed, as if he's afraid Dan might make a grab and spill it. Jeff's a tough negotiator with good sense. Dan opens his other eye, and Jeff makes an encouraging face at

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him. "Okay, now sit up so you don't pour it all over yourself." Jeff half rises off the bed to cushion the mug from any tilting, and Dan reluctantly slides up to the headboard, dragging as many covers as he can with him. Jeff smiles as he hands the mug over, but Dan's mouth can't really smile back yet; it's still too sleepy. He brings the coffee to his lips and takes a cautious sip, and then a deeper swallow.

"What time is it?" His voice sounds a bit grumbly, still, but at least he's not swearing at them, so they're getting off easy.

"It's past ten, dude. We need to be out of here before eleven if we want to make kick-off." Evan seems to think that should make some sort of sense to Dan, and eventually, it does.

"Oh… yeah. Football."

Evan shakes his head in amused amazement. "Damn, your brain shuts
right
down when you sleep, huh?" He looks over at Jeff. "And he hasn't stopped yet…"

Jeff grins. "Nope. Pretty soon, though…he's almost awake."

Sometimes Dan has no idea what's going on. "What're you talking…." He catches himself. "Oh… fuck off." He makes the words sound as clipped and distinct as he can.

Evan laughs. "Damn. I shouldn't have said anything, seen how long you'd keep it up for. I swear, someday we're going to take a trip to Texas, and you're going to get all caught up in it, and we'll get to hear it all the time."

Dan shakes his head. "No, we're not going to Texas." He has another swallow of coffee, and becomes aware that they're both watching him as if they think maybe he's got more to say. But he doesn't think he does; he's
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just not going back to Texas. "Chris isn't here yet?"

Jeff accepts the change in topic. "You think if he was, he wouldn't be in here joining in the fun? For someone who hates waking up as much as he does, he sure takes a lot of joy in waking
you
up."

"Yeah, he's great that way." Dan takes another gulp of coffee. "Okay, I can get up. Do I have time to shower before breakfast?"

 

Jeff nods. "If you get up right now. We've got the toppings ready and the batter mixed, but I haven't actually made any waffles yet."

"Waffles…." Dan yawns so wide he thinks he might have actually injured his jaw joint, then rolls his shoulders and brings his feet up to push Evan sideways. "Okay, get out of the way… I'm not climbing around the bottom of the bed with a mug of coffee, you need to
let me out
."

"You could climb over me…." Evan suggests with a little smile, and Dan doesn't have to be fully awake to know where that would lead.

 

"Dude, I don't want my waffles to burn."

"The waffles aren't actually on yet. Jeff could stay, you could climb over him, too. Or I could climb over him while you climb over me. And, you know, he could climb over you at the same time…." Evan looks like he's maybe regretting his decision to maintain the chain of euphemisms. "Or, hey, we could all blow each other!"

Hmmm. That's helping Dan wake up. At least a part of him. Jeff's not jumping in, but he looks like he could be persuaded. So of course that's when the doorbell rings. Chris.

Dan glances over at Jeff. "Is the door locked?" Jeff laughs and shakes his head. "We're not leaving him on the
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doorstep, Dan."

"So, invite him in, show him how to cook waffles, and get back in here…." Dan slides one hand across the sheets towards him, but Jeff sees it coming and jumps up off the bed.

"No, I don't think so. Control yourselves." He heads for the bedroom door, then turns around and waves his thumb towards the bathroom. "Dan, shower. Evan, you could help him, but you know you'll just spend the entire time bitching about how small my tub is and how we should have stayed at your place, so… spare us the drama and come out and help with breakfast." Jeff takes a moment to savor the view on the bed. "Damn, you guys test my willpower…." But he pulls himself out the door anyway.

Dan casts a sly eye at Evan. "So, do you think I need help?" He stretches, and adopts a purring, exaggerated sex-kitten voice. "I'm soooo dirty…."

Evan laughs, but there's a little heat in his eyes. Dan knows it wouldn't take much to fan that into a flame.

 

"Danny!" Chris's voice roars from the hallway. "You'd better be decent, man, 'cause I'm coming in."

 

Dan only has time to say, "You just
had
to hire him, didn't you?" before Chris is in the room, charging towards the bed.

"Dannybear!" he bellows as he launches himself onto the mattress, Evan rolling to the side to avoid the impact. "I missed you, Honeybunch!" And Chris sprawls all over him and there's a big, wet kiss being pressed to the side of Dan's face.
"You saw me yesterday, you asshole. Get off!" Dan pushes, but he's

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too tangled up in the blankets to be able to get any leverage, and Chris might not be tall, but he's surprisingly heavy. "Evan, get him off of me!" And, okay, that sounded a bit whiny, but he's still half-asleep, damn it. He pushes again, and looks pleadingly at Evan.

Chris shakes his head. "Nope, Evan, don't do it, you'd be breaking our agreement."

Dan hasn't heard about any such agreement, but Evan nods solemnly. "Sorry, dude, he's right." He stands up from the bed, and notices Dan's look of confusion. "It's a strict non-interference pact. I get to torture you my way, he gets to torture you his, without any appeals or interventions." Evan's grin widens. "Maybe if you'd signed the threesome contract like he wanted, you could have put some sort of clause in there, but you didn't, so…." Evan shrugs and heads out towards the kitchen. "That's the way it goes."

Dan lies there in shock. "You…." Chris looks like he's trying not to laugh. "You told him about your insane contract?"

Chris arches an eyebrow. "I'll have you know, he didn't think it was insane at all. He said it was just that sort of out-of-the-box thinking that made me so valuable to the company." He frowns. "More like out-of-thecloset thinking, really."

Dan takes advantage of Chris's temporary distraction to shift his weight and grab a pillow. He puts as much force as he can behind the swing as he starts hitting Chris with it. "Get off me, you freak!"

Chris is laughing too hard to put up much of a defense, and Dan manages to shift him off to the side and wriggle free. He's still wearing only the boxer-briefs from the night before, and Chris lies back on the bed and runs his eyes up and down Dan's body. "Damn, Danny—are you

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putting on a bit of weight?"

"Fuck you, Foster." Dan heads for the bathroom. He turns the shower on and resists the urge to look at his body in the mirror. Jeff had said he was fine. He pokes his head out the doorway and frowns at Chris. "And, dude, don't you think it's kinda gay for you to be lounging around in Jeff's bed like that? Get your ass in the kitchen and be useful."

Chris doesn't look too worried, but he pulls himself off the bed. "Yeah, I'll be useful to the 'keep Dan from getting fat' program by eating your breakfast."

"I'm not getting fat, asshole—stay away from my waffles!"

"You better hurry up, man—they smell pretty good, and I'm not known for resisting the impulse to steal your food…" Chris heads for the kitchen and Dan wastes no time before hopping in the shower. Chris really does like to steal his food.

He showers quickly and pulls on clothes from his overnight bag. Jeff has offered him a drawer at the house, but Dan honestly doesn't have enough clothes to be leaving piles of them all over the place. It's easier to keep a central location and pack a bag when needed. He wondered, after he'd declined the offer, if it was some sort of a test, like a way to evaluate his commitment to the relationship, but that really doesn't seem like Jeff's style.

He gets to the kitchen and finds that, while Chris
is
eating waffles, they aren't Dan's. Which is good, because Jeff's waffles are incredible, and Evan has apparently outdone himself in finding things to top them with, and if Dan had missed out, he would have been seriously unimpressed. There's not a lot of time to enjoy them, though, before there's a knock on the door.
Evan checks his watch as he slides out of his chair. "It's probably the

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car." He heads for the front door.

Dan frowns at Jeff. "Okay, I get that nobody wants to be sure they'll be sober enough to drive, but we couldn't just take a cab, like normal people?"

Chris jumps in. "Dude, four of us plus a driver, all the way to the city. And one of us is the Jolly Green Evan. A cab would be damn tight. And I saw the bill—it really doesn't cost much more this way."

"Wait a second, how'd you see the bill? Evan wouldn't let
me
see it."

 

"You, Buttercup, are irrational and prone to dramatics. I am his colleague. I can be trusted with this sort of information."

"Okay, you're his employee, not his colleague." Dan's really not sure he like it that Evan and Chris get along so well. "And I'm not irrational— wanting to know how much things cost is totally rational."

"Depends what you do with the information, Peach Blossom. If you file it away as a point of interest," and Chris nods to show that he has followed this path, "it's rational. If you use it as a way to throw a fit about how someone with more money than God chooses to spend his pocket change," and Chris looks regretful as he nods towards Dan, "it's not." He pauses, then adds, "Dandelion."

Dan looks at him in amazement. "Dandelion? You only know the names of three flowers, and one of them is Dandelion?"

 

Chris looks ashamed. "I really thought I'd have more. You know, when I started. But…hey! Daisy!"

 

"Too late, dude, you already played the 'dandelion' card. Game's
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over, you lose."

 

Dan glances at Jeff, who nods his head sadly. "Sorry, Sweetpea, I think Dan's right."

 

Dan reaches a hand out and rests it on Chris's shoulder. "So, what's the story, Morning Glory? You're usually better than this…."

"Hey, Evan?" Chris calls. "You ready to go?" He stands up and starts gathering plates from the table. "'Cause we're all ready to go here…." He dumps the dishes in the sink, still talking loudly. "Yup, nothing else to do here, might as well pack up and go. Sure would be a shame to be late, just because Dan slept in. As usual. It sure is too bad he's so lazy, huh, Evan? Wow, look at the time! Jeff, Dan, you guys ready? Time to get going, that's for sure…."

Evan comes back into the room and drops his hands onto Chris's shoulders, frowning at Jeff and Dan. "Whatever you two are up to, stop it right now! You shouldn't taunt poor Chris… you know how sensitive he is!" He rubs Chris's shoulders and talks to him in a soothing voice. "Were they being mean to my little Honeysuckle?"

Chris shrugs out from under Evan's hands and frowns back at all three of them. "That's nice, guys… gang up against me. Make me feel like the fourth wheel." He turns the tap on and rinses his hands, then wipes them on his jeans. "We ready?”

They are, and Evan leads the way out the door into the world.

Evan leads the way out of the house and the rest trail after him, Jeff stopping to say goodbye to Lou and lock the door. They pile into the car, and Dan's glad to see that it's not a huge stretch monstrosity. Barely bigger than a regular sedan really, just one extra set of windows. Evan grins happily. "It's the same body as President Obama's car," he tells them

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proudly. "Unfortunately, we don't have the night vision cameras or the tear gas cannons."

 

"Evan, tell me you aren't
buying
it." Jeff sounds wary.

"No, uh…." Evan looks a little sheepish, and then glances over at Chris, who snickers. "I think… we're looking at maybe buying the company, though… it's a really good business plan, but they're undercapitalized, and they're hurting a bit in this economy, so they're a bargain…." He trails off, then shakes his head at Jeff and Dan's expressions. "It's a business decision… it's not because I like toys."

Chris jumps in. "And he's just talking about the limo company, not the car manufacturers. You know… he's not going to buy
Cadillac
."

The driver opens the door for them, and they all climb in. There are two seats facing forwards, two facing backwards, with a good-size foot well in the middle. They're quiet for a bit after they get in, and then Dan turns to Evan. "So, what do you do at work? Like, typical day… just go outside, close your eyes and spin around with your finger out? And whatever you're pointing at when you stop spinning, you buy it?"