Just One Reason (16 page)

“Fuck!
”  He said loudly and then remembered where we were.  Lowering his voice he went on, “How could she do that to us?  To you?  You should have told me, Lindsay!”

I squeezed his hand.
“I couldn’t, Grady.  I knew you would fight for me, and I couldn’t let that happen.”  He stood up to pace the small area around my hospital bed, muttering curses under his breath.  He sat back down.

“She didn’t let you tell anyone, did she?  That’s why
Taryn thought you had your appendix out already.  God, Lindsay.  You had to go through that by yourself.  You were only sixteen years old, for Christ’s sake!”

I put my hand over my mouth to keep a sob from escaping.  Grady carefully sat on the edge of the bed and gathered me in his arms while I cried on his shoulder.  From the way his body was trembling slightly I
could tell he was crying too.

“I’m so sorry.  I never stopped loving you.  I didn’t know what else to do,” I sobbed, clutching at
his shirt to pull him closer.

“
Ssshh, baby.  I know.  Now I know.  It’s okay.  It’s going to be okay,” he murmured, running his hand soothingly down my hair and back.

The nurse pulled the curtain back and said cheerfully, “It’s time to go to surgery.”  She saw us wrapped up in each other crying and clucked her tongue. 
“Now, now.  This is a very routine surgery.  Nothing to get worked up about.”  She patted Grady on the shoulder.  “We’ll have her fixed up and back to you in no time.”

Grady pulled back slightly and ran his thumbs over my cheekbones.  “I love you, Lindsay.  I’ll be here when you wake up.”  He leaned in to
softly press his lips to mine.

“I love you, Grady,” I murmured against his mouth.
  As the anesthesiologist eased me into unconsciousness, I prayed that Grady was telling the truth.  I needed him to be there when I woke up.

Grady

Watching Lindsay be wheeled away down the hall and into surgery was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do.  Especially considering what I had just found out.  Lindsay had been pregnant. 
With our child.  I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she had gone through - finding out she was pregnant, losing the baby and her ability to have future children, undergoing major emergency surgery - all in the course of one day.  And she was all alone.  A sixteen year old girl was forced to go through that all alone.

What I really wanted to do was drive to the city and
confront her mother.  Demand to know how she could do that to any person, let alone her own daughter.  That woman had kept Lindsay away from me.  She had kept me from knowing about my own child.  Goddamn it!  What kind of a person does that?  But I couldn’t go. I had promised Lindsay I would be here when she woke up.  And I intended to keep that promise.

Lindsay should have told me anyway, but I understand why she thought she couldn’t.  She was trying to protect me. 
And, again, she was only sixteen years old.  Well, now it was my turn to protect her - forever.  Now that I knew why she left me and that she had never stopped loving me, there was nothing to keep us apart.  She had loved me so much she had pushed me away for my own good, so she thought anyway.

It was only 7:00 pm, so I called Josh and Ford to let them know what was going on.  Leah wanted to come to the hospital, but I told her to stay home considering she herself had just been released to go home earlier today.  Lindsay would be in surgery for an hour, in recovery for another hour.  So, by the time she got to her room, visiting hours would be over.  I assured Leah she could come by
tomorrow, either the hospital or Lana’s house depending on how long until Lindsay was allowed to leave.  I tried my dad’s and Lana’s cell phones, but as I suspected, they went straight to voicemail.  They probably didn’t have service on the cruise ship.  I didn’t leave a message.  I didn’t want to worry them.  Lindsay could leave Lana a voicemail tomorrow when she was home.

When I spoke with
Taryn earlier, she said she would be driving from the city tonight.  I told her where Lana hid the spare key so she could stop there and drop off her stuff before coming down to the hospital.  With the time it took to drive from the city and stop off at Lana’s, I estimated she would get to the hospital sometime after midnight.

In the whole scheme of things an hour long surgery was really pretty short, but it felt like forever as I watched the minutes tick by on the waiting room clock. 
It was plenty of time to replay every second I had spent with Lindsay over the last month.  God, could I have been any more of an asshole?  I could rationalize my behavior by remembering that at the time I thought Lindsay was a cold-hearted bitch.  In reality, nothing could be farther from the truth.  She was just a girl who loved me, loved me so much she had pushed me away and broken her own heart in the process.

At an hour and ten minutes after they wheeled Lindsay away
, the doctor came out to say everything went well and Lindsay was in recovery.  I asked to see her even though I had already been told I couldn’t until she was in her room.  The doctor said no, but it didn’t hurt to try.  After another excruciatingly slow hour, a nurse came to show me to Lindsay’s room.  I may have said I was her husband, since only family is allowed to visit overnight.  Hopefully one day soon that would be a true statement.

The room was dark except for a light on in the attached bathroom.  At least she had a private room.  Lindsay was asleep in the bed, lying on her back with her hair spread out against the pillow.  She looked even paler than usual, if that was possible. 
There was a very uncomfortable looking chair sitting in the corner, so I dragged it over next to the bed.  I rested my forearms on the bed and held Lindsay’s hand in mine.  There was still an IV in her arm and a bag of fluids dripping slowly through the tube.  I hoped it was pain meds.  After everything she’d been through I couldn’t bear for her to suffer anymore, even just a little.

It was close to 10:00 before Lindsay moved at all.  She moved her head and started to shift her bo
dy and then stopped, groaning.

I smoothed my hand over her forehead
. “Lindsay?  Are you in pain?”  She didn’t speak, but she nodded her head slightly.  I immediately pushed the call button.

“
Can I help you?” A voice asked.

“
Yes, she’s awake and in pain.”

“Okay, I’ll send your nurse in.”

The nurse came in after a few minutes, a few minutes too long in my opinion.  The nurse took Lindsay’s blood pressure, lifted her gown to check her small incision and asked for her pain level on a scale of one to ten.  Lindsay still hadn’t opened her eyes, but she croaked out, “Eight.”

“I’ll be back with some IV pain meds,” the nurse said on her way out.  Lindsay turned her head in my d
irection and squeezed my hand.

Finally she cracked her eyes open and said, “You’re here.”  A small smile played on her lips.  I leaned over to pr
ess a light kiss to her mouth.

“Of course I’m here.  I’m not going anywhere.  Ever,” I reassured her.

The nurse returned and pushed a shot of something through the IV.  “This should help with the pain.  And help you get back to sleep.  Your surgery went well, and the doctor will be in to see you in the morning.  You should be able to go home later in the afternoon.”

Whatever she gave
Lindsay started to work immediately.  Her head lolled back to the side and her eyes started to close again.  But then they snapped open, and she reached frantically for my hand.

“
Ssshh, baby.  I’m still here,” I murmured while toeing off my boots.  The bed dipped as I climbed on and wrapped my arms around her carefully.  She was able to move more easily now that the meds were pumping through her system, and she curled into my embrace.

When the nurse returned for her routine check she frowned upon seeing me in the bed with Linds
ay.  But she didn’t make me get up.  Whatever meds they gave her knocked her out, and Lindsay didn’t move for the rest of the night.  The last time I looked at the clock it was close to midnight.

The next thing I knew I heard hushed voices whispering close to the bed.  Everywhere in this small room was close to the bed, so I didn’t have to look far to find
Taryn and some guy standing nearby.  Looking at the clock I saw it was almost 2:00 am, and I assumed they had just arrived.  I attempted to extract myself from Lindsay’s embrace, but she only moaned and clutched at me.

Taryn
smiled at us and whispered, “We’ll be out in the waiting room.  Please come get me when she wakes up.”  I nodded in agreement and Taryn and the guy left the room.

This being the third night in a row that I had gotten very little sleep, I immediately dozed off again.  When I woke next, the sun was just peeking through the window and the nurse was in checking
Lindsay’s vitals again.  It was just after 6:30 am.  This time I had to get up.  I doubted the nurse would be providing me with a bedpan.  Slowly so I didn’t wake or hurt her, I eased my arm out from under Lindsay’s head.  She whimpered but then fell back to sleep.

I made a quick stop in the bathroom to take a piss and found a toothbrush and toothpaste to use.  It was probably for Lindsay, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing.  When I was somewhat cleaned up I took another peek at Lindsay sleeping and
went out to the waiting room.

Taryn
stood up immediately when I came out.  For a potential President’s daughter she seemed very down to earth.  She wore jeans and a t-shirt, and her long hair was pulled back in a ponytail.  The guy who I had seen earlier stood up next to her.  I knew she was engaged to one of her bodyguards, and I assumed this was him from the way his arm rested protectively around her waist.  There was another guy asleep on the couch.

“Is she awake?” 
Taryn asked anxiously, wringing her hands.

I shook my head
. “No, not yet.  But probably soon.  The pain meds she got last night should be wearing off soon.”

Taryn
pursed her lips in worry and then remembered I didn’t know her companions.  “Grady, this is my fiancé, Wyatt Hunter.”  Wyatt sized me up with his eyes while he shook my hand.  The dude looked fierce.  I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side.  Especially where Taryn was concerned.  I could tell that he wouldn’t hesitate to stand between her and danger.

Taryn
motioned to the sleeping guy and said, “This is my other bodyguard, Dominic.  You can tell he does a great job guarding me.”  I laughed as she licked her finger and stuck it in Dominic’s ear.  That got him up.

He batted her hand away
grumbling, “Gross, Taryn.”

“Wake up, Dominic.  I want you to meet Grady.  He’s Lindsay’s….friend?”  It came out as a question and I just nodded.  At the moment I wasn’t sure what we were.

I saw the nurse exit Lindsay’s room and I caught her eye.  “Is she awake?”  I asked.

She nodded.
“Yes, she’s asking for you.”  I hurried back with Taryn and Wyatt close behind me.  Dominic stayed behind on the couch.  He must have wisely sensed Taryn would not be in danger in the Penn Yan hospital.

Lindsay’s bed was raised slightly so she was halfway sitting up, and she was sipping on a gigantic cup of ice water.  Her eyes lit up when she saw me and she set her cup down to smooth her hands through her tangled hair. 
I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her hands away to hold them in mine.

“You’re beautiful,” I whispered, leaning close to kiss her forehead.  She visibly relaxed back against her pillow and turned her at
tention to the people with me.

“
Taryn!  Wyatt!  You guys didn’t need to come.  Did you meet Grady?”  She asked looking back to me.  I nodded while Taryn sat in the chair still pulled up on the other side of the bed and took one of Lindsay’s hands.  I kept the other for myself.  Wyatt stood behind Taryn with his hands resting on the back of the chair.  The smile he gave Lindsay was full of genuine concern.

“Of course we had to come, Linz.
  Don’t be silly,” Taryn said.

“But what about your classes?
  You just started back a couple of weeks ago.”  Taryn waved her hand dismissively in a gesture that I recognized as one of Lindsay’s.  They really were close.

“I can stand to miss a few classes.”

“Is Dominic here too?”  Lindsay asked, and I narrowed my eyes.  With Taryn and Lindsay being so close, she probably got to know Taryn’s security team pretty well.  I did not want to find out Lindsay had something with Sleepy out on the couch.

Wyatt caught my eye as he said, “Yeah, he’s out in the waiting room.”  He shook his head slightly, and I hoped that meant
I had nothing to worry about.

“Are he and Selena still together?” Lindsay followed up, and there was my answer.  Thank God.  I didn’t think I could handle being face to face with someone Lindsay had been involved
with.  We had been apart for five years, so I wasn’t stupid enough to think she had been dateless and celibate the whole time.  But it definitely wasn’t something I wanted to dwell on.  Then I inwardly cringed as I remembered some of my behavior over the last month, especially where it concerned Shelly.  Shit, would Lindsay ever be able to look past that?  Or had I fucked it all up without even knowing it.

Lindsay squeezed my hand and I realized she had asked me something.  At least she was letting
me touch her.  “Sorry.  What?”

“I asked if you need to be at work
.  I know you’re really busy right now.  Taryn and the guys can take me home when I’m released,” she said.  I really did need to go to work today.  With Josh still out with the baby the rest of the week and my dad on vacation, I couldn’t afford to skip out too.  But I didn’t want to leave Lindsay, not when I might have just gotten her back.  Torn, I looked at Taryn and Wyatt.

“Can you guys give us a minute?”  I asked.  They graciously left the
room to give us some privacy.

“I really don’t want to leave you, Lindsay.  But with Josh out and my dad on vacation, I have to go in.
At least for a little while.”

“It’s okay.  I’ll be fine,” she said.  In that moment I was struck with how very brave she was.  It wasn’t something I would have thought before, but knowing what I did, Lindsay
had become the bravest person I knew.  I cupped my hands around her face and ran my thumbs over her cheekbones, like I did the night Maddy was born when I wiped away her tears.  Those tears now made a lot more sense.  Lindsay was reminded of everything she had lost and everything she would never have the night Maddy was born.  The force of the loss I had also experienced, but just found out about, hit me in the chest.

Lindsay must have seen it on my face, because she grasped my wrists and said, “Grady,
it’s okay.  I’m okay.  We’re going to be okay.”

I dropped my head for a moment to compose myself.  I needed to be strong right now for Lindsay. 
When I looked back up I couldn’t help the tears gathering in my eyes.

“I’m going to finish up what I have to at the shop, and then I’m coming to Lana’s house.  There’s a lot we need to talk about Lindsay, and we’re not putting it off any longer,” I said gruffly.