Just a Kiss: The Bradfords, Book 5 (31 page)

She took his hand. “So you were alone for Christmas?”

“Yeah, lying on the couch, drinking, hating everything and everyone,” he said ruefully. “I was pissed because things weren’t going my way, but even more I was scared.”

“Scared of how to make a living?”

“Scared of what else was going to go to crap. It seemed like I couldn’t count on anything or anyone. Nothing was staying the same and I remember thinking how much I wanted to have something,
one
thing, that wouldn’t change on me.”

Her heart tripped at his words. She knew that feeling well too. “And you thought of God?”

“Kind of. I was flipping through the channels and I realized that everywhere I turned it was Christmas. Every channel—cartoons, the History channel, the Food Network—every time zone, all over the world. And I thought, hell, at least
that’s
the same every year, year after year, no matter where I am.”

Her throat tightened. “That’s nice.” And it was. It really was.

He grinned. “I kept thinking and my mind kept going to other things like that. Every Sunday everyone goes to church. They sing the same hymns, read the same stories, over and over. Even in the little bit of time I went to church for you…” he squeezed her hand, “…knew that much. I knew the Bible would say the same thing. I knew that your grandma and your dad and you had all learned the same Commandments and stories and songs.”

“Wow.” She barely made a sound with the word.

“So, I finally pushed myself up off the couch and went to church. And I’ve been going back ever since.”

Eve wet her lips, shifted on the stool and swallowed hard. “That’s…” But she didn’t have a word for it. She
had
been a part of him finding God. So had her dad. So had church.

Church had been the haven, the rock that Kevin needed… While it was the biggest disappointment in her life.

Crap.

Kevin had a lot on his mind as he and Eve drove to Omaha.

Lacey and Libby had been happy to have Drew spend the weekend with them and they didn’t even make Kevin grovel much. Especially when he showed up with ingredients for s’mores, hot chocolate mix and a stack of movies for their Saturday night.

They had the whole schedule worked out within minutes. Lacey had a yoga class, but Libby could take Drew on the hike she’d planned, then while Libby was studying for a few hours, Lacey and Drew were going to clean the house. Drew wasn’t overly excited about that part of the plan, but when Lacey said she’d give him his usual allowance for the job, he perked up.

Kevin made a note to give Drew some chores and an allowance at his place too.

And then there was Eve. She had changed. Her major life influence—her father and his church—were out of her life. She’d lost faith, in her dad at least, and it was clear that was where the edge of cynicism he sensed in her came from. He couldn’t say he blamed her.

And he still wanted to kick Pastor Donnelly’s ass.

Oh, and she still had an arrest record that could screw everything up with his guardianship of Drew.

And he didn’t want to let her go, even temporarily, even if it would appease the state of Nebraska.

This was one of those times he’d really like to let loose with a
fuck
.

“This feels like a date,” Eve said from the passenger seat.

Pulling his thoughts from the complications that he had no idea how to solve, he focused on the fact that she was here with him right now. Kevin smiled over at her. “It does?”

What was she going to think of everything? His life was a hodge-podge of people and activities. He really wanted her to not just appreciate them, but to actually enjoy them.

“Yeah, we never did this,” she said with a grin.

They hadn’t. They’d driven together a few times when she’d snuck out and met him a few blocks away to go to a party or drive around and talk. But they’d never gone out together without worrying about someone seeing them or getting caught.

He linked his fingers with hers. “No more sneaking.” He pressed his lips to her hand.

It was Saturday and the guys weren’t working tonight which meant they’d all be at the Bradford Youth Center. But that wouldn’t be until later, after they’d slept off last night’s shift, so Kevin started by taking her to the hospital.

On the way to St. Anthony’s, Kevin told Eve about some of the staff that she’d probably meet. He obviously worked a different shift most of the time, but he still knew all the nurses and physicians because of Sam’s sister, Jessica, a nurse and head of the ER, and her husband, Ben, a trauma surgeon. He also knew most of the lab techs, radiology techs, front desk receptionists and everyone else who wandered through the ER.

It was an amazing place. They were like a big family when it came to messing in each other’s business and giving each other a hard time, but they all came together as a team—the best in the city—when that ambulance pulled into the bay. Even though he was a part of it and had been for years, he was still in awe of the things the ER at St. Anthony’s saw and dealt with. There wasn’t anything they couldn’t do.

“Wow, sounds impressive,” Eve commented. “I’m not really going to fit in.”

He took her hand and squeezed. “No worries. You’re with me. You’re automatically in.”

They would be quite enthusiastic about meeting her, in fact. He was one of the family and they would all be curious, if not downright thrilled, that he was with a woman who wasn’t a co-worker and wasn’t on a gurney in the back of an ambulance.

A few minutes later they walked through the sliding doors into the emergency department. It was a fairly quiet time and it didn’t take long for someone to notice him. Everyone greeted him with huge smiles and a little ribbing about bailing the night before and making “poor Conner” work with Mac.

“I had things to take care of,” he told John Parker. He knew his grin was huge.

John laughed and looked Eve up and down. “Amen, brother.”

Chuckling, Kevin led her to the nurses’ station. “Tara!” he said enthusiastically when he saw the cute redhead in nurse’s scrubs. “How’s your mom?”

Tara’s face broke into a huge smile when she looked up. “Kevin!” She came around the counter and hugged him tight. When she pulled back she had tears in her eyes, but was still smiling. “She’s better. Scared, of course, but the doctor said they got it all. She’s going to do chemo for awhile, and she’s really weak right now, but she’s home and doing okay.”

“Great,” he said, feeling relieved. “But you know where to find me if you need anything.”

She nodded. “I can’t believe you answered your phone at two a.m. on your night off.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he said sincerely. “I’m glad I did.”

“Me too.” Tara sniffed a little, then glanced at Eve.

Kevin grabbed Eve’s hand and tugged her forward. “This is Eve.”

“Hi, Tara. I’m sorry about your mom,” Eve said.

Tara smiled and shook her hand. “Thanks. And if you were with Kevin when I called and talked to him for over an hour at two a.m., I’m really sorry.”

She hadn’t been and Kevin wondered if that bugged Eve. Tara’s mom’s cancer diagnosis and Tara’s middle-of-the-night meltdown had happened about a week before all of the drama with Drew and Eve. But he’d told the nurse that he’d be happy to talk anytime she needed to and was flattered that she’d taken him up on it.

He often offered that to co-workers going through a tough time. Some called, some didn’t.

“I’m glad you called him,” Eve said to Tara. “It’s good to have people you can really talk to.”

“It is.” Tara grinned at him and then gave Eve a wink. “It’s good to have people you can do other stuff with too. Right, Kevin?”

Kevin’s eyes widened and he thought he might be blushing. He looked at Eve and when he saw her smile, he pulled her close. “Right.”

He introduced her around the rest of the ER, showed her a couple of the trauma rooms, the break room, the locker room. He hoped she didn’t mind. It seemed silly, but he wanted her to see where he spent so much of his time and energy. This place affected him—sometimes for the better, sometimes the worst—and he wanted her to know a little about it.

“That’s it,” he said when the tour was complete.

“Wow.”

He looked down at her. “Really?”

“Yeah. Most of my ideas about hospitals and ERs are from TV and movies, but…this is real. You all save lives here.”

He smiled at that. “Yeah.” He felt a surge of pride. “We do.”

“I’m impressed. Thanks for bringing me here.”

Something in her eyes begged him to kiss her. He leaned in as someone called, “Kevin!”

Sighing he lifted his head and focused on Jason Anderson jogging toward him. “Hey, man, here’s your book back. Finished it the other night. I liked it.”

He handed over the book Kevin had loaned him.

“Keep it,” Kevin said. “Pass it on to someone else who might need it sometime.”

“Really?” John asked. “You sure?”

“Of course. You’ll come across someone at some point.”

John nodded. “Okay, thanks. I’ll do that.”

Kevin turned Eve toward the exit. “Let’s head to the Center.”

“What was the book?” she asked as they walked.

“The
Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book
.” It was his all-time favorite cartoon strip and he’d bought every collection there was after the author stopped doing it.

“Seriously?” she asked.

“What were you expecting?” Kevin asked, glancing at her.

“Something religious,” she said.

“He’s not ready for that,” Kevin told her. Or at least, that’s what he’d told himself. He’d thought about loaning John one of his Max Lucado books, but mostly he’d wanted to lighten the kid up. He was taking one trauma from the week before particularly hard. “We see a lot of bad stuff here in the ER and John’s a new resident. I could tell it was wearing on him, so I gave him something to make him smile. I didn’t know if he’d think it was stupid or not, but I’m glad he liked it.”

He glanced back at John who was heading in the other direction.

“I’m never sure if I’m doing the right thing,” he said, honestly. “It’s hard to know what to say sometimes.”

It was one of the things that bugged him the most. He was no better talking to people about big, important life issues than he had been eight years ago when he’d decided to change his life. Shouldn’t he be making progress?

“Then I loan someone a book or something and they read it and it helps them and I’m torn between being happy and wondering if I took the easy way out.” After all, it was someone else’s words and sense of humor that had helped John, not Kevin’s.

He hoped that it would open the door for other conversations. Maybe even some deeper, more important talks. But maybe it never would. Maybe that had been his one chance to really make a difference for John.

He sighed, but then Eve pressed against his side as they walked.

“It isn’t about what you say or do, it’s about caring enough to say or do something at all,” she told him. “You’re doing great.”

From her, that meant the world.

They didn’t talk about anything too deep on the way to the Center and Kevin tried to ignore that the nerves were back. This was the Center. A place he’d spent hours of his life. Full of people he genuinely cared about and who cared about him. Why was he nervous about bringing her here?

They walked through the front doors and found the entryway empty. That was unusual. The place was generally loud and fun, teeming with teenagers and volunteers. Pool games, basketball games, Wii games, conversation and laughter, homework and food—that was normal. The front lobby was usually piled with shoes, jackets, bags and anything else the kids shed when they stepped inside.

Confused, Kevin took Eve’s hand and headed for the double doors that led into the main rec room. Surely someone was…

“I told you to watch your damn mouths!” Sam roared as Kevin pulled the door open.

He and Eve pulled up short in the doorway as six scuffing teenage boys came to a stop and turned to stare at Sam and Mac, who were standing with their backs to the door—and to Kevin and Eve.

“They’ll be here any minute. Stop jacking around,” Mac added firmly.

Mac and Sam had their hands on their hips, legs spread and—Kevin had no doubt—stern looks on their faces as they reprimanded the boys.

Three turned and scattered, but the older boys, who had been around the Center longer, stayed, facing off with the men.

In the ER and on calls, no one messed with their crew. They were all big guys, who could be intimidating when they needed to be. They also took their jobs and their reputation as the best paramedics in the area seriously.

They had a lot of fun, flirting and giving everyone a hard time, but when they were working, no one pushed their buttons.

Except the kids at the Center.

The kids knew the guys were all big softies who would do anything for any one of the kids.

They were grinning at Sam and Mac now.