Just a Kiss: The Bradfords, Book 5 (10 page)

Kevin knew he was staring and barely breathing, but…wow. This woman was making things a whole lot easier and it was very sexy. He certainly didn’t need another reason to think she was sexy but there was something about the way she was jumping in to help him that made him hot.

None of these things were her problems to solve and yet here she was.

He moved around the island quickly, before he could think better of it, grasped her by the upper arms and pulled her up onto her tiptoes.

“Thank you, Eve.”

Then he kissed her.

It was a sweet, affectionate kiss for exactly five seconds. Then it turned hot. It was still plenty sweet though. The candy store analogy fit even better when he fully tasted her, tongue on tongue, breath to breath. Not jelly beans. They were hard and cold. This was more like hot fudge.

He
loved
hot fudge.

He turned her so her waist was against the island and he pressed close as her fingers tangled in his hair. She was tall enough that between the heels on her boots and her tiptoes the fly of his jeans was right against the fly of hers, and everything behind and below that point.

She gasped, then groaned. He felt the same way but couldn’t bring enough air into his lungs to make a sound. Which was fine. He preferred her sounds anyway. Especially when he dropped his hands to her ass. He wanted to touch her everywhere at once, he wanted to make her crazy, he wanted to possess her. Again.

He’d felt this before. Felt like he’d never get enough. And losing that, losing her, had almost ruined him. His health, his career, his chance at anything good.

Kevin pulled back, sucking in air and common sense.

“That got a little carried away,” he said, taking a step back—way back—and shoving his hands into his pockets.

“In case you didn’t notice, I was okay with that,” she said breathlessly, hanging on to the counter behind her.

“I’m going to be blunt here.” He had to be. For his own sake.

“I’m okay with that too.” Her fingers gripped the edge of the counter, like she was holding herself back.

“I’m not sure I can do this again.”

“This?”

“You.”

“You’re not sure you can do me again?” she clarified.

Of course, when she said it like
that…

“You broke my heart, Eve. I went into a tailspin. I almost…did a lot of things that could have turned out really ugly.”

He’d immediately started screwing around and partying because he was trying to prove to himself that there were people who still wanted him around, people he could please, people who appreciated what he had to offer, people—okay, women—who could help him forget about Eve.

It hadn’t worked. But he’d given it his all.

So much so that it had landed him in the hospital more than once. There had been a couple of trips to detox, a couple of cracked ribs and several stitches from fights, a scare with an STD. He’d almost failed his freshman year of college, had almost been kicked off the football team. It had gotten bad.

“I’ve got my life together now. I’m not perfect, but I…I can’t go back to that and I’m sure that if you mess with me again I’ll be right back there or worse.”

She bit her bottom lip, staring at him.

He wanted her. He wanted her to say he was crazy for thinking any of those things. That of course this would work.

But how could she say that? It had been too long. So much had happened. They were different people now. She couldn’t possibly promise not to break his heart again.

“I understand,” she finally said, “but I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, you’re here, and there’s obviously still… something…between us. So, it’s all your call. Whatever you want. You want to just be friends?” She let go of the counter and moved forward. “We can try that.” She stepped forward again. “Or we can go back to not seeing each other at all.”

No
. Without input from his brain at all, his first reaction, from the gut was no. Now that he’d seen her again, staying away wouldn’t last a day.

“Friends, huh?” he asked. Not that he believed that was going to work either.

“We can try,” she said, taking another tiny step, bringing her right in front of him. “But based on that kiss we just had I’m not optimistic.”

Yeah, there was no way they were going to be able to be just friends.

“And there’s something about
me
you should know,” she said.

Oh, boy. He wasn’t sure how many more surprises he could take. “Yeah? What’s that?”

“I don’t want to sign the papers on Friday.”

Kevin had to try twice to swallow. “Why not?”

“For the same reason I didn’t sign them before.”

“Wait, you
purposely
didn’t sign the papers before?” he asked.

“Right.”

“
Why
?”

“Because I wanted to be married to you.”

Kevin couldn’t believe his system could still produce adrenaline. So much had been made and used over the past several hours that he was sure he was becoming immune to it. But a jolt hit his bloodstream and went straight to his ticker.

“No, you didn’t,” he said with a quick shake of his head. “
You
were the one who denied the whole thing.
You
changed your mind the minute we got home.”

They’d headed out of town right after the graduation reception at her house was over. They’d gone straight to the Justice of the Peace and had been married before her parents had finished picking up the folding chairs in their backyard.

After they’d become husband and wife they’d gone to the nicest hotel he could afford—a Holiday Inn—and spent the rest of the evening and night making love, talking, laughing, basking in their love and their plans.

The next morning they’d driven back to Grover and right to her father’s church. They’d walked into that sanctuary together for the first time. Hand in hand.

The plan was that when her father asked for announcements and prayer requests from the congregation, Eve was going to get up and announce their marriage to her family and their community.

But she hadn’t done it.

She’d sat beside him, hands folded in her lap, knuckles white, throughout the service. Then after everything was over and her father came straight at them, demanding to know where she’d been all night, she’d denied that she’d even been with Kevin. According to her account, she’d spent the night at Monica’s and Kevin had shown up that morning to come to church with her.

After her father, still looking angry and suspicious, left them, Kevin had demanded to know what was going on.

She’d changed her mind.

Those had been her exact words. He could still remember the way she said them, the color of her lip-gloss, the fact that the ring was shoved in her pocket instead of on her finger.

“I know I messed up,” Eve said. “I panicked once I got there, facing them all.” She moved closer. “I’m so sorry. I
wanted
you, Kevin. But I didn’t want to tell my dad.”

Yeah, her dad had been a piece of work. Still was, Kevin was sure. She’d been eighteen, ready to leave home, in love. Yet, face to face with her dad none of that had mattered. “You said you changed your mind,” he repeated.

Now, though, he knew it wasn’t what she’d said or hadn’t said—it had been the look in her eyes that had torn his heart in two. She’d looked guilty. And ashamed.

Guilty about and ashamed of
him
.

“I was
eighteen
,” she said. “I freaked out.”

His chest ached. The elopement had been completely spontaneous, his over-the-top attempt to bind her to him. He’d wanted her forever and knew he wasn’t good enough for her. But he also knew that a girl like Eve would never take marriage lightly. If she said vows to him, she’d be his forever, whether he deserved her or not.

He’d been sure during the drive to the Justice of the Peace, through the wedding service, through the drive to the hotel and through the night, that she’d change her mind. So the moment she’d said the words
he’d
freaked out.

“I’d changed my mind about telling them right then, like that,” she said, exasperation in her tone. “Not about you. Not about us.” She looked completely frustrated, “I haven’t practiced this speech in like eight years.”

“Speech?” he asked with a frown.

“The one I was going to give you when you came to me to get the papers signed.” She frowned back.

“There’s a speech?” He couldn’t help it—he was curious. What had Eve wanted to say to him so badly that she refused to sign annulment papers for fourteen years? And she’d practiced the speech? For a few
years
after the fact?

“There’s a speech.”

“That you practiced?”

She shrugged. “Once in a while I’d imagine running into you or drinking and dialing and I wanted to be prepared.”

“It was all a long time ago,” he finally said softly.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “But love isn’t supposed to change with time, or mistakes.” She looked at him directly, her chin up. “I was determined to prove that to you. I wanted to show you that even if you ignored me, wouldn’t speak to me, slept with a million girls, my feelings wouldn’t change.”

He was having trouble breathing. “Eve, I…” He had no idea what he meant to say.

“And, of course, there was also spite,” she finally said, her tone lighter. She slid her hands into her back pockets. “I figured at least I was getting revenge because every time you slept with someone else you were committing adultery.”

He blinked several times, surprise rippling through him as the urge to smile overcame the what-am-I-supposed-to-do-with-these-feelings confusion he was trying to sort out. “So, when you go for revenge it’s soul-burning-in-hell-for-all-eternity revenge?”

She laughed. “Yep.”

The sound of her laughter washed over him. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, the corner of his mouth curling. “And I think I need to hear this speech.”

“Oh, yeah? Feeling less good about yourself with the twenty-six counts of adultery against you?”

Telling her that twenty-six was way too low would do nothing good for him, he was sure. “Come on, let’s hear it,” he said.

“You need an ego stroke that bad?”

“Would this do it?”

She chuckled softly. “If hearing how someone can’t live without you, how they’re sorry for everything, how they’d do anything to get you back and how much they love you makes you feel good then…yeah, this would do it.” She sighed, but was still smiling. “I was a heartbroken eighteen-year-old girl. The speech was plenty sappy and pathetic.”

He cleared his throat again. “Then I gotta hear it.” His voice was still a little hoarse and he took a step closer, unable to help himself.

She certainly didn’t move back. “I started off with how I was sorry for breaking my promise to you and that I still thought of you all the time. Then there was a bunch of dramatic teenage girl stuff about how I should have loved you no matter who was trying to break us up and I should have been willing to face my father’s anger to be with you, that our love should have been enough to overcome all of that.”

That was at the base of all the hurt he’d felt. She’d
promised
to love him, to honor him, to forsake all others. He’d believed all of those things. He’d pledged the same things back to her, readily and happily.

She’d blown all of those within twenty-four hours of getting home from their wedding.

“Good premise,” he said gruffly.

“Yeah?” There was definite warmth in her eyes. It was bordering on heat. “Would it have worked?”

That was a really good question.

Kevin blew out a long breath. “I don’t know. I would have liked hearing it.” He liked hearing it even now. A lot. Something about Eve semi-groveling, declaring her feelings and apologizing felt
really
good. But… “I don’t know if I would have believed you.”

She’d said
vows
and backed out. Could he trust even a simple apology?

“I would have been very persuasive.”

I would have liked to see that
. He couldn’t stop the thought. In their entire history together, he had always been the pursuer, the one who made sacrifices and took risks to be with her.

He’d shown up at church—her father’s church—twice a week for months, proving how he felt about her. He’d been alone in the pew every time. He’d been uncomfortable, knowing people were wondering why he was there, knowing he didn’t really belong. The kid who had been hailed a hometown star for as long as he could remember was out of place for the first time in his life. And the sermons and Bible stories made him face the fact that there was a much grander scheme than playing football in Grover, Nebraska, and that he was imperfect and falling short of his potential in ways that went far beyond the playbook he knew.

Ironically, those lessons stuck with him and years later, when he was looking for a higher purpose, they came back to him. But at the time it had been a definite effort to walk into that building over and over again.

Still, in spite of his discomfort, he’d shown up and he’d stayed. For Eve.