JR (15 page)

Kurt didn’t need a response to comprehend the implications of the moment. She would never let him care for her this way if she didn’t have absolute confidence in him, if he hadn’t reached some part of her psyche previously locked away.

Her surrender was a touching gift. It threw him off balance. That had to be the reason for the emotional vertigo disrupting his judgment.

He dried her silent, pliant body with a plush towel before returning her to his personal quarters. He placed her on the bed, taking a moment to light a few of the candles scattered around the room before moving to her side. He folded back the comforter then positioned her on her stomach on the flannel sheets. She rubbed her cheek against the fuzzy fabric but didn’t rouse from her sensual daze. Popping the lid on a bottle of oil, he began to rub the mild muscle relaxer into her creamy skin.

He stared at his hands spanning her back with ease. Though she had a petite build, he’d never thought of her as such a little thing before. Her eagerness to learn, her confidence in her abilities and her determination to succeed made her seem larger than life despite the vulnerability he’d sensed lurking within.

When he cupped her voluptuous hips, massaging the joints he’d kept stretched earlier, Becca groaned.

Unwilling to break the spell of their shared calm, he leaned over her back to whisper in her ear.

“Are you doing okay?”

“Mmm.” She managed a tiny nod.

He finished kneading her legs, working her thighs until the knotted muscles beneath his fingers slackened.

Accepting his reward, he lay down beside her then tucked her back against his chest. He brushed a stray lock of hair off her face, wondering why he hadn’t seen how beautiful she was from the first moment they met. Drowsy himself, he murmured, “You did so well, Becca. I knew you would be amazing but today surpassed my highest expectations.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” she mumbled from the murky fog between sleep and waking. She placed her hand in his, which engulfed it, where it draped across her subtly rounded abdomen.

“Kurt,” he corrected, nipping the side of her neck. A sigh slipped from her lips. After holding himself distant all these years, he fought the exhaustion sweeping over him. He wanted to relish this rare time but he couldn’t stay awake much longer.

He set his alarm clock to ensure they didn’t take more than a brief nap before lifting the downy comforter over them. Only then did he allow himself to drift off, holding tight to Becca’s lax form beside him.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Rebecca startled awake from a deep, disorienting sleep then crashed into a solid wall of muscle in her attempt to locate the source of the racket.

“Calm down, sweetheart.”

Kurt?

She blinked then realized several things at once. She was naked, in a bed other than her own and he had dragged her close, wrapping his arms around her flailing limbs. From the searing heat of his flesh branding her with his obvious desire, she assumed he didn’t have any clothes on either.

“Where are we? What happened?” Her hoarse voice attested to the depth of her sleep. After running on so little for so long, she was exhausted. Her mind struggled to restart as she desperately thought back.

“My quarters, off the laboratory.” The mellow timbre of his sexy voice reassured her. When she looked up, he met her questioning gaze with a satisfied smile. His hands still stroked her back, soothing her.

“You had an intense afternoon. Your body isn’t used to it.” As he spoke, his palms traced a route down her spine, then up her sides, pausing to circle her hips as though he enjoyed outlining the dip and curve there. “I’m sorry I can’t let you doze longer, Becca. I have to make sure you sleep well tonight.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.” She almost purred in contentment.

Her mind began to function. The details of their intimate situation became clearer. While she wanted to enjoy it, she was too nervous about the newness of the relationship and how she would avoid the potential awkwardness between them. Lounging in the crook of Kurt’s leg, the brush of his aroused cock against her hip startled her. She froze. Uncertain of his expectations, she didn’t want to appear to be encouraging him or inviting a more personal encounter.

Where did this afternoon leave them?

Before she could decide what to do, he withdrew his hands, pushed up from the bed and effected his usual charm, giving her space to sort things out and catch her breath. She flashed him a smile of appreciation for his intrinsic understanding.

“Come on. Let’s grab something to eat then we can come back here and discuss what’s going to happen tonight so you’re prepared.”

Trying to clear the distractions from her mind, Rebecca swiped her hands over her face. When she opened her eyes, Kurt stood before her dressed in a pair of sweatpants, looking as rumpled as she felt.

She couldn’t prevent the laughter from bubbling out of her chest.

“What’s so funny?” The uncharacteristic moment of insecurity had him glancing down at himself to make sure everything was in order. The gesture inspired her mischievous streak. He didn’t look anything like his usual, confident, unflappable self. Their earlier work had affected him too, which reassured her in some odd way.

“I’ve never seen you have a hair out of place before.” She grinned and couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this lighthearted. “You look cute.”

He grimaced at her declaration. For a moment, she wondered if she’d overstepped her bounds but Kurt returned her grin.

“Normally, I don’t think I’d be all that happy with cute.” He shrugged. “But letting you tease me seems a small price to pay to see
you
like this.”

She drew the covers up over her breasts. The mention of her wantonness still unsettled her. Her humor faded. No longer a matter of professionalism, she scolded herself for entangling her affection in this crazy experiment. She couldn’t afford to care for him.

“Don’t hide from me.”

“But, I’m naked!” The sense of outrage filling her didn’t result from being displayed in front of him. Not physically, anyway. She feared he would laugh again. After all, an hour ago she’d been bare, pleasuring herself and going wild before him. They both understood they’d moved past those barriers.

He refused to let her disguise her discomfort. Stalking to the side of the bed, he didn’t give her the chance to avoid him. As she picked up the edge of the blanket to mask herself further, he yanked it out of her grasp then flung it onto the floor behind him.

“I will not allow you to chastise yourself for your reactions earlier or how they make you feel now. I’ve told you how much you pleased me. I enjoy the new facets of our relationship and your honest reactions. That should be all that matters to you at this point. Act accordingly.”

Harsh breaths echoed in the otherwise quiet room as Rebecca stared at him in shock. This was not the man she knew. His authority compelled her to slide into acceptance of his will, to embrace the luxury of being at his command. Instead, she forced herself to remain aloof and protect her heart when he spoke only of passion or professionalism.

“I’m not ashamed of my performance in the study. Sleeping naked next to you in our off hours, Kurt, is another matter. I’m going to get dressed.” With all the dignity she could muster, she brushed by him then swept into the bathroom, leaving him gaping in her wake.

She perched on the side of the tub while the water from the shower drummed the other side of the curtain behind her. Though clean and relaxed from her earlier bath, she’d needed to buy some time to reflect. This would have qualified as the longest shower in the history of the planet.

She had a lot to think about.

With her dream to become a partner in the university clinic realized, she floundered without purpose. The next step on her life path was uncertain. She struggled to separate her experiences during this exercise from her emotions for Kurt. The more they progressed, the more she worried she wouldn’t be able to do it. Could she hide her feelings from him forever?

The way he’d cared for her today swamped her with affection and longing. The magnitude of her desire to submit made her feel weak. It would be too easy to let him take over all the time. Her mother had taught her better than that.

A loud bang on the door startled her from her thoughts.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes!” she yelled from behind her hand to maintain the illusion of her fictional shower.

“I know there isn’t that much hot water in there!” Kurt bellowed, hopefully to make sure she heard over the noise of the spray and not because he was angry.

She didn’t answer.

“Waking up next to me must have really turned you on to make you freeze yourself in a cold shower for damn near thirty minutes.”

His arrogance almost inspired her to abandon her stronghold. Instead, she breathed deep and concentrated on suppressing her initial reaction. She didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

After a pause, he yelled again. “If you’re not out of there in five minutes, I’m going to rip down the curtain and lick every drop of cold water from your—”

The mental image destroyed her resolve. Now she’d never get it out of her head. She wrenched the door open, cutting him off before he could make the threat any more vivid. The infuriating man grinned.

“You
were
hiding. Damn.” He backed away from the door, ushering her out with a swing of his hands.

“Since your grand exit didn’t seem to indicate a desire to go out to dinner with me, I took the liberty of ordering a pizza. It’s getting cold.”

The smell of fresh dough and gooey cheese punched her in the gut as she emerged from the bathroom bundled in a luxurious robe she’d found laid out for her. Kurt had stocked the small area with almost everything they’d need for a few days. With the exception of her clothes.

Her stomach rumbled.

“Dig in. I got your favorite.”

As she debated refusing, he went into the bathroom and shut off the shower. She thought she heard a low chuckle but chose to ignore it.

They’d indulged in the all-American dinner more than a few times while working late nights. Those evenings comprised some of her favorite memories as they chatted about open cases or school. The rare, relaxed occasions accounted for most of the breaks she’d allowed herself since beginning her training. The reminder of their easy companionship put her back on level footing. Accepting the plate he offered, she served a slice onto it then turned, searching for somewhere to sit.

“Sorry, it’s a tight arrangement but I have to be with you at all times. Go on, take the bed, I need to finish up a few things.” He waved her toward the other side of the room with an absent flick of his hand before carrying his dinner over to his desk. As he sat down to resume work on his notes, he turned. “I know this is hard for you, Becca. But I won’t let you hide. Remember,
I
decide what your limits are unless you want to quit. And you’re stronger than that.”

Then, he let the matter drop.

She watched him become engrossed in the documentation, wishing she could assist him like usual to calm her tumultuous blend of fear and anticipation. Of course, she couldn’t be involved as anything other than the subject but it reminded her again of her changing role. Gathering up her plate, she shuffled onto the bed.

Rebecca attempted a few positions but, no matter how she arranged herself, she couldn’t find a way to sit that didn’t require two hands to hold her robe for full coverage. Kurt appeared engrossed in the records, his dinner lying mostly forgotten next to him on the desk. He’d write furiously for a few minutes then reach over, scoop up his pizza, take a large bite and keep going.

Sure he wouldn’t notice her exposed state, she scooted across the bed until her back bumped the wall. She sat cross-legged, tucked the fabric between her legs, tugged it across her chest, tightened the belt as well as she could, then rested her plate on her thigh.

She flipped on the TV then cycled through the channels, watching bits and pieces of shows that caught her attention but she didn’t have a favorite program to tune into. In fact, she didn’t own a TV and wouldn’t have been able to pay for cable if she had. Always busy, it was an unnecessary expense. So, instead, Rebecca studied Kurt as she dug into another slice of pizza.

He dwarfed the standard-sized desk, about half the size of the mahogany monstrosity in his office where he worked during regular office hours. She sighed as she recalled several vibrant dreams she’d had about him laying her back on the glossy surface and sliding his cock into her…

She hadn’t realized she’d gasped when he appeared at her side.

“What’s wrong? Did you burn yourself?”

“N-No, I’m fine. I…” Her mind raced in frantic circles as she tried to work out the details.
Why didn’t I
think of this before?
She had dreams of Kurt often—extreme, detailed, erotic dreams.

“You what? Are you sure you’re all right, baby?” Concern etched his features as he observed her. “You’re pale and your pulse is racing. It’s been a stressful day for you, I know. Tell me if you don’t feel well.”

Blushing furiously, she couldn’t see a way out of this uncomfortable situation. Kurt set her half-eaten dinner on the table beside the bed then pulled her onto his lap. The closeness increased her discomfort.

“This relates to the experiment.” It wasn’t a question. When she didn’t deny it, he sighed. “Becca, your training makes it clear you can’t keep secrets from me about our research. I need full disclosure. Tell me what’s going on here.”

He was right, of course. Besides, she’d given her word to be open and honest no matter how embarrassing it might be.