Jolted (Conflicted Encounters #1) (14 page)

"Kallie. Look at me. Now," he demanded sternly. I raised my wet eyes to his face. His thumbs wiped some of the tears off my checks. The pad of his thumb rubbed across my lip, catching another tear. I stared into his eyes and took ragged breaths.
 

"Good girl. Stay with me," he said gently. "Eyes here, okay. I got you. Calm down, baby." He repeated the words over and over. He pulled me up and held my cheeks, still whispering the words. His face slowly came into focus. I tried to breath and concentrate on him and his calming voice. I kept my eyes glued to his until the tears dried and my heartbeat slowed.

He let go of my face and held my shoulders, watching me. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm so sorry," I said, covering my face and getting up to go run and hide. He placed his hand across my stomach and stopped me. I looked back down at him, begging that he would just let me go.

"Sit." I sighed and dropped back down into the couch. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. Never," I replied. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

We sat in silence on the couch for a while. Ryder watched me and I stared into nothing, wishing I could take back the whole day. I wanted to feel connected, like I wasn't numb and alone. Instead, I made a fool out of myself. I thought Ryder would be a typical guy and take me up on the offer. Ryder would surely think I was crazy now. I wouldn't be surprised if he asked me to leave. I laid my head on the arm of the couch and curled up into a ball. Ryder pulled the blanket from the back of the couch over my body. I quietly thanked him and closed my eyes.
 

I opened my eyes and stared back at his pained face in shock. His hard eyes glared down at me as he grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands above my head, pinning me to the couch. I arched into him on instinct and he put his weight on me, holding me still. I glared back at him in challenge. My whole body ached for him.
   

“You don’t really want this. I’m not going to help you escape whatever it is that you are running from,” he whispered.
 

“Just please, I just want to forget,” I pleaded with tears threatening to break free. “I just want to feel again.”

He sighed and hung his head down, resting his forehead on my chest. “No.”

I struggled to break his hold on me. I wanted to punch him in his face. I was panting and every nerve was on edge. I was crumbling inside and couldn’t hold myself together. I thrashed around under him. He sat up on his knees and pulled me up with him. I tried to pull my wrists from him, but his hold wasn’t letting up.

“Kallie, calm down.”

My vision burned with tears. My throat was closing up and my entire body was going from burning hot to ice cold. I heaved, trying to catch my breath and yanked my arms. “Just get away from me,” I cried.

“No, Kallie, look at me,” he urged. I shook my head and continued to try to free myself. I was now empty, alone and embarrassed.
 

Ryder firmly grabbed my chin and tilted my head up to him. “Look at me, Kallie.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I closed my eyes to block out his face. Ryder let go of my wrists and put both his hands on each side of my face. I couldn’t move in his hold and let my body go limp.

“Kallie. Look at me. Now,” he demanded sternly. I raised my wet eyes to his face. His thumbs wiped some tears off my checks. The pad of his thumb rubbed across my lip, getting another tear. I stared into his eyes and took ragged breaths.
 

“Good girl. Stay with me,” he said gently. “Eyes here, okay. I got you. Calm down, baby.” He repeated the words over and over. He pulled me up and held my cheeks, still whispering the words. His face slowly came into focus. I tried to breath and concentrate on him and his calming voice. I kept my eyes glued to his until the tears dried and my heartbeat slowed.

He let go of my face and held my shoulders, watching me. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m so sorry,” I said, covering my face and getting up to go run and hide. He placed his hand across my stomach and stopped me. I looked back down at him, begging he would just let me go.

“Sit.” I sighed and dropped back down into the couch. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. Never,” I replied. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

We sat in silence on the couch for a while. Ryder watched me and I stared into nothing, wishing I could take back the whole day. I wanted to feel connected, like I wasn’t numb and alone. Instead, I made a fool out of myself. I thought Ryder would be a typical guy and take me up on the offer. Ryder would surely think I was crazy now. I wouldn’t be surprised if he asked me to leave. I laid my head on the arm of the couch and curled up into a ball. Ryder pulled the blanket from the back of the couch over my body. I quietly thanked him and closed my eyes.
 

Ryder

She sulked around for days. After her slutty breakdown, she barely spoke to either one of us. Scarlett kept asking me what I did to piss her off, but I played dumb. Scarlett continued to go out on nights after work and tried to get Kallie to come along, but with no luck. When the weekend finally came around, everyone around me was stuck in their own little world.

Scarlett seemed to be in another one of her self-destructive moods and had been staying out late or not coming home at all. Logan hadn’t answered any of my calls, either. Word around town was that there would not be a bonfire tonight. And Kallie had been withdrawn and depressed. I couldn't stand watching everyone in my life hurt.

Kallie got up at some point this morning and laid down in Scarlett's bed. I paced around the living room, finally grabbing my keys and going down to get in my truck. I made the short drive over to Logan's house. His Explorer was parked in the driveway, so I knew he would be home. I didn't even bother knocking and just let myself in.
 

Logan looked up in shock at me from his kitchen table. He was sitting in his boxers, eating a box of cereal and reading the paper. He dropped his spoon and crossed his arms, glaring at me.

"What the hell, dude?" he grumbled.

"This is getting out of hand, man," I said, slamming my hand down on his table. "Let's do something today."

"I don't really feel like it much," he said.

"I know. I don't either. Which is why we need to," I argued as I took a seat across from him, giving him a serious look. Logan was family to me and we went through everything together. This was definitely not any different.
 

"I spoke to my lawyer on Monday," he admitted quietly. My heart raced. "I have to meet with them next week."

I took a deep breath. "Logan, everything will be fine. Really. There is no point of worrying about it all weekend," I urged, even though I didn't really believe what I was saying.
 

He sighed and put his head in his hands. "I still can't believe this."

"Me either," I added.
 

It took me another half an hour to convince Logan to get dressed and call Caleb. After I was sure he wouldn't be running back to bed, I left him to finish getting ready. When I walked into the quiet apartment, I saw Scarlett's door was still closed. Cursing to myself, I stalked over and swung the door open. Kallie's small body flinched when I barged in. Her heavy eyes watched me blankly as I searched around the room. I grabbed a random pair of jeans and what could be a shirt and threw them at her.

"Get dressed," I demanded.

"This isn't mine," she muttered, throwing the shirt back on the floor.
 

"Well, how the hell am I supposed to know? There are clothes everywhere," I said, waving my arms around the disaster area. "Which ones are yours?"

"That pile, there," she said and pointed to a smaller pile by the door. I bent down and found a tank top and tossed it to her.

"Get dressed. Now," I said. I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall.
 

She finally sat up and glared at me. "You gonna watch?" she snipped.
 

I huffed and left the room. I heard her get up and move around. I paced outside the door, waiting for her to come back out. When she finally emerged, she was wearing the clothes I gave her. She pulled her blonde hair back into a braid that came down over her shoulder.
 

"Why am I getting dressed?" she asked with her hands on her hips. She looked angry and feisty. It was a side of the meek, angelic girl I had never seen before.

"We're going somewhere. Can you fit in these?" I asked as I tossed a pair of Scarlett's hiking boots her way.

She bent over and looked inside at the tag. She looked back up at me with apprehension. "I could. Why? Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, Princess," I said, grinning at her.
 

Kallie put the boots on and hesitantly followed me down to my truck. I opened the door for her and helped her climb up into the cab. The nervousness was written all over her face, but she didn't ask any more questions. I gave her a reassuring smile and went over to the driver's side.
 

I took the long way to Caleb's place. I drove through town and took the back roads to his land on the edge of the town. Kallie sat quietly and watched the scenery out the window. The day was warm and the wind blew stray blonde hairs around her face. I pulled my eyes off her and back to the road.
 

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing."
 

"You were staring," she pointed out. Busted.

"I like your hair like that," was my lame response.

She shook her head and laughed sarcastically. We finally pulled up to Caleb's and I was glad to see that Logan actually showed up. I turned off the truck and went around to help Kallie out. She took my hand and let me help her down from the lifted cab. She looked around her before she followed me back to the large barn in the backyard.
 

"There he is," shouted Caleb when we entered. Logan tipped his head at me.

"Kallie, you remember Caleb and Logan?" I knew she did.

"I do. Nice to see you guys again," she said politely. I wondered if she had a rude bone in her body.

"You too, beautiful," Caleb said, throwing her a wink. I had the urge to punch him. "We ready?"
 

"We are," I answered.

Kallie's blue confused eyes looked up at me. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the back of the barn. Her hand was soft and small inside mine. Caleb slid the doors open and the four-wheelers were lined up, ready for us. He quickly jumped on his and Logan took the Honda he usually rode. Kallie stopped dead in her tracks, so I stopped walking.
 

"I can't do that," she said, staring at the machines in terror.

"Yes, you can. Come on," I whispered to her.
 

"No, I don't know how," she said desperately.
 

I leaned down and into her line of vision. "You can ride with me if you want. I promise you'll be safe."

She looked at me, then back at the guys. I watched the internal debate play out in her head. I assumed she was making a pros and cons list. I held up a finger behind my back to signal the guys to wait a minute. I waited for her to make up mind, knowing she would give in. I knew little about her, but she aimed to please and never said no when asked to do something.

"Fine," she sighed. She stalked over to the ATVs and looked at the two remaining. "Which one can I ride?"
 

"This one," I indicated the smaller one. She climbed up and threw her leg over, sitting down on the seat. "You know what you're doing here?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow.

She shook her head. "I'm a fast learner." I admired her ambition.
 

"Okay. Well, this is the gas, and this is the clutch," I said, pointing to parts on the handlebars. "Over here is the brake and back there is the reverse switch. You have to be in neutral to turn it on."

"Neutral?"

"Yeah. That green light would be on. Pull in the clutch and switch gears with this," I said tapping her foot. She stared back at me with panic. "Ride with me?" I smiled. She quickly nodded and scooted back on the seat to give me room. I laughed and got on, starting it up.
 

I reached behind and grabbed Kallie's hands off her lap. I brought them around me and wrapped them around my waist. Logan nodded at me, started his, and took off, dirt and rocks flying up from the tires. I kicked my bike into gear and followed after the boys.
 

Kallie's arms tighten around me with the sudden movement as we rode across the long field. I could feel her entire front pressed up against my back. We rode at a reasonable speed until we finally reached the tree line. Caleb rode up and down the edge of the woods a few times, trying to find the path we usually took. When he finally found it hidden by overgrowth, he whistled and rode into the woods. Logan hit the gas, pulling a wheelie before following the same path.

"You okay?" I called back to her.

"Yep," she called back.

I patted her hand on my chest and followed the boys. We wove through the trees and over fallen logs. The covering from the trees made the forest feel cooler. I inhaled the brisk, moist air and enjoyed being out in these woods again.
 

When we were growing up, Logan and I would come to Caleb's almost every nice day we had to ride his four-wheeler. We spent most of our free time exploring the woods and learning new tricks. His parents finally went and bought three more when we were in middle school so we could all ride together. Caleb's parents were another part of the family I adopted for myself. They were good people.

When we reached the bottom of the hill, the inevitable happened. Caleb's tires spun up mud and water, but he wasn't going anywhere. He stood up and tried to rock it out of the mud, but it looked like it only sunk deeper. Logan and I stopped at the edge of the muddy creek and turned off our engines.
 

"You owe me twenty," Logan called to a frustrated Caleb. "I bet he would get stuck first," he turned to me, laughing.