Bending Over Backwards

You can so do this.

Mom's first-day-of-school pancakes, which tasted so sweet and fluffy an hour ago, zoomed around like Frisbees inside my stomach.

Any one of these girls would love to be friends with you.

Not if I vomited. Wow, that would be bad. Real bad. I focused on the toes of my new green high-tops. I had to keep it together.

Breathe and smile,
the voice in my head said.
You totally own this school.

The voice wasn't mine. Sure, it was in
my
head, but it was Eden talking.

Eden, my best friend.

Eden, my best friend since kindergarten.

Eden, my best friend since kindergarten, who was back in Arizona.

Without me.

I was here in Hillsbury, New Jersey.

At my new school.

Without my best friend.

Without any friends.

Yet,
Eden's voice said
. Soon everyone will be fighting to be your friend.

That was the plan we'd been crafting all summer long. Eden guaranteed it would work. Pinkie promised me. It felt weird not having her by my side. We do everything together.

Did
everything together, I reminded myself.

I was here. At my new school.

But I kept hearing Eden in my head. We'd plotted this day nonstop since Mom had dropped the bomb at the beginning of the summer that we were moving. Every conversation and every plan we'd made at our late-night sleepovers now streamed through my head.

I plastered a smile on my face. Eden says I have a winner smile. I've just got to use it.

I can do this. Just follow the plan.

That was finally me talking to me. I was ready for action.

Sort of.

Taking a deep breath, I watched the sixth graders
push their way through the double doors leading into the Hillsbury Middle School auditorium. They came in groups. Boys with new spiky haircuts and even newer sneakers. Girls shrieking and admiring first-day outfits. Some kids looked happy, others barely awake. Some moved alone, only drawn into the group by the tide.

Loners.
I shuddered. It was the very fate I was trying to avoid.

I tried to take everyone in without staring. I didn't want to be that weird girl who stares. I studied the schedule they'd handed me when Mom brought me to the main office. The classroom numbers meant nothing to me. The teachers' names meant even less.

That's fine,
I told myself.
Use the paper to spy.

I held the white sheet in front of my face, pretending I was studying it. I always tell Eden I'd be the perfect spy. Black pants and a cute little black jacket and a fedora tipped low over my eyebrows. My curly brown hair sleeked into a bun. Silver rings on my fingers that are really cameras and telephones and Tasers. I'd go undercover, all mysterious like, to foreign countries and track down stolen data drives or microchips or whatever it was that always got stolen. Eden rolled her eyes every time. She said I'd be found out as soon as I started laughing, which for me is every five seconds.
I have this hiccuplike laugh that always makes people stare.

But I wouldn't laugh if I were a spy.

I definitely wasn't laughing now.

Over the schedule, I spied two girls passing. Both wore the same sandals. One pair black, the other pink.

I gulped, and the pancakes began to bump around again. Eden and I always did that. Bought the same things, but in different colors.

Stop it,
I scolded myself. Time was running out.

I'd already been in this school for a full twenty minutes. Eden and I had established that I needed to move fast. Narrow in on the target immediately, before anyone had an opinion of me. Before I got sucked into a bad friendship.

Happy. Smiles. Lots of friends,
I reminded myself.

Two girls passed.

“I have to go to the library after school to start,” the taller one said. I stared at her rainbow unicorn sweatshirt. Was that the fashion here? I glanced around nervously. Luckily, I spotted no other unicorns.

“Start what?” her friend asked. Her skin was so pale.

“Homework. To get ahead.”

Pale girl nodded seriously. Neither girl smiled.

My gaze landed on a group of three girls nearby.
They argued loudly about a music video where this guy with wings dances on a cloud. I'd always wondered too, why the guy had wings, but not enough to get all red-faced and intense about it.

As different girls filed by me, I checked them out.

No, no, maybe, no, maybe,
I thought, as if running down a checklist.

Where was she?
I wondered. She had to be here somewhere. It was a universal truth that every middle school had her.

There was always an It Girl.

“You're blocking the door. You need to take a seat.” A perky woman with cat's-eye glasses placed her hand on my shoulder and gestured into the auditorium.

But—I wasn't ready yet! If I plopped into any seat, who knew what would happen? Eden and I had decided that I'd take charge of my own destiny. Eden's mom was a therapist, and she wrote a blog called See It, Do It. She encouraged her clients to see a picture of what they desired in their minds. By seeing and understanding the picture, you could go out and achieve it. Eden said I should do the same thing. If I became best friends with the It Girl immediately, I'd be set.

Not best-best friends like me and Eden.

Just plain best friends.

The main thing now was to find her.

“Are you okay?” The woman gave me a quizzical look. Her name-tag sticker peeled back slightly from her thin green sweater.
MS. FAIRLEY. EARTH SCIENCE
.

“Totally fine,” I said, more interested in the four girls heading my way. Their hair was so superlong, they could probably sit on it. I wondered if they were growing it for one of those charities that makes wigs for sick kids. Sari did that. She was a friend in my old school. Eden and I went to the salon to cheer when she cut off twelve inches.

The four girls smiled as they talked. They waved to other girls as they made their way down the center aisle. They were liked. My feet itched to follow them. To sit beside them. To ask about their hair.

I hesitated. No. They weren't her. The It Girl.

Eden and I had gone over what makes an It Girl many times.

She is popular. Everyone likes her, and she likes everyone too. She appreciates her friends and wants them to be happy. She's the center of all activity. Plus, she has that special something that makes her fun to be around. Eden and I call it sparkle.

We should know. We're the It Girls at our school.

Well, I was. Eden still is, I guess.

Sparkling without me.

Great.

“You must take a seat.” Ms. Fairley gently nudged me into the doorway. Shrieks, laughter, and the rumble of voices rose up as I took baby steps down the center aisle. Ms. Fairley followed. The overhead lights flicked on and off, signaling the start of the welcome assembly.

Ms. Fairley leaned to her right. “Brett, stop kicking the back of that chair!”

My eyes darted to the few empty seats. Time to make a choice. Do-or-die time.

“You have the ‘new' look. Are you a new student?” Ms. Fairley nearly bumped into me. My feet had stopped moving.

“Yes. I moved from Ariz—”

I swallowed my words as soon as I saw her. Off to the left, midway down. She'd been hidden by a crowd of girls, all leaning slightly in towards her. But now, as they began to sit, her raven hair shone in the fluorescent lights.

She stood tall and straightened a sleeveless top made from stretchy black material. Her skin still held its beach tan. We'd visited the Jersey shore on our way to our new house, and this girl reminded me of the girl lifeguards in their shocking red swimsuits, sitting
confidently atop their lifeguard stands, in charge of the entire Atlantic Ocean.

“Listen, I know this is overwhelming, but I need you to sit now.” The teacher's hand was on my shoulder again, this time turning me and guiding me into an empty seat.

“But I—” I tried to stand.

The lights dimmed, and the boys in front of me chorused
“Ooohhhhh,”
pretending they were scared.

“I'll come find you later and show you around. Assembly time.” Ms. Fairley blocked my path, and I had no choice but to settle into the seat's nubby fabric.

Maybe this is better,
I thought. I can check her out from here. After the assembly, I'll find a way to bump into her. Eden would approve of my quick thinking.

I watched my raven-haired It Girl sit, surrounded by her friends. All I could see was the back of her head, no more than ten rows in front. I twisted the braided silver ring I'd started wearing on my right hand. My dad had bought it for me at a crafts festival. He doesn't do that normally, just buy me something I walk by and like. He says I'm always seeing stuff in stores, in catalogs, online, and asking for it. He wants to teach me responsibility. But this had been our last visit before I moved away with Mom and Alex. He stayed in Arizona with Carmen, his
new wife. He probably would've bought me a pony that day if I'd asked.

I liked my ring better. You couldn't bring a pony to school. At least, not here.

“I don't know you,” a high, squeaky voice announced, just as the principal took the stage.

“Huh?” I turned my head.

“I totally don't know you,” said a girl who sat behind me and to my right. Bouncy strawberry-blond curls surrounded her round face. Freckles dotted her nose and rosy cheeks. Everything about her was tiny except for her smile. She flashed me a wide grin, showing off silver braces. She looked like a cute cartoon character.

How old is she?
I wondered.
She can't really be in the sixth grade, can she?
Was she someone's little sister? Was it somehow “bring your little sister to middle school” day?

“I'm pretty good with remembering people, and we had that sixth-grade orientation thingy two weeks ago, and you were not there. Right? You weren't, were you?”

“Nope, wasn't there,” I agreed. She wore a purple sweatshirt trimmed in silver studs. I'd had one like it in fourth grade. Now I'd totally outgrown the store in the mall that sold them. But I still kind of liked it.

“That makes you new!” she exclaimed. Her high
voice totally matched her tiny body.

“It does.” I twisted back around. I didn't mean to be rude, but laughter floated towards me from It Girl's direction. Ms. Fairley was on them in an instant, and they quieted down. The principal continued his welcome speech. Something about the honor and responsibility of moving into middle school.

I scanned the auditorium, checking for the exit doors. I was pretty confident It Girl and her friends would file past me to get out later. I needed to think of something witty to say. Or funny. Or something.

“Not feeling very friendly, are you? No worries. First-day jitters, I bet. Totally understandable.” The girl behind me chattered away. She didn't seem to care that the principal was projecting a presentation on rules onto an enormous whiteboard.

“I'm
very
friendly,” I protested in a whisper.

“Great! Me too. I'm Shrimp.”

“Shrimp? Like the seafood?” I asked.

“No, Shrimp, like I'm really short,” she said.

“Your parents named you Shrimp?” I thought my cousin had it bad when his parents named him Zuza.

“No, silly. It's a nickname. What's your name?”

“Molly Larsen. No nickname.” Eden still sometimes called me Mole. She'd started when we were five and
they'd read us
The Wind in the Willows
at library story time. The main character was a mole. But I wasn't sharing that nickname. I didn't want to be known as Mole around my new school.

“Hey, Molly, welcome!” Shrimp sounded genuinely glad to meet me.

I gave her my winner smile and turned my attention back to the principal. I'd met Mr. Sabino when Mom registered me two days ago. He'd joked with me then, but now he seemed much more serious. Finishing the rule about respecting other students, he moved on to respecting school property. I wasn't going to write on the walls or stick chewed-up gum under the desks, so I tuned out and watched the raven-haired girl's long hair sway as she stretched. She wore dangling silver earrings.

Maybe I should say something to her about boring rules? Or was that lame? Maybe compliment her earrings?

Giggles erupted behind me, followed by the crinkling of cellophane and the smacking of lips. I turned. Shrimp's honey-brown eyes danced mischievously as she reached up her sweatshirt's sleeve with her opposite hand. “We should shake. You know, to say hello?”

“Shake?” I repeated. What twelve-year-old girl shook hands?

The boy sitting next to me exhaled loudly. “Sorry,” I whispered.

“Just give me your hand,” Shrimp commanded. The dark-haired girl next to her giggled again.

Tentatively I reached out my hand, and Shrimp grasped it. Then she let go, leaving behind something square and hard.

Back in my lap, I opened my palm and grinned. A Jolly Rancher. And watermelon, my favorite flavor.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

“Don't get caught,” Shrimp warned. Mr. Sabino was going over the no-food-in-school-except-for-cafeteria-food rule.

“I never get caught,” I assured her. Eden and I were legendary for sneaking candy into school. I unwrapped the Jolly Rancher with practiced silence and popped it into my mouth. The boy next to me had no clue.

The screen had now changed to the green-and-yellow school logo, and Mr. Sabino welcomed three students onto the stage. A tall boy with a mop of wavy dark hair, a boy in long basketball shorts, and a girl in a pink polo shirt with a matching pink headband in her long brown hair. Cheers drowned out their names. The
entire audience roared for these kids.