Jessie (41 page)

It took some time for the room to empty. Most people stayed and prayed for quite a while. Rylan prayed that their hearts would be genuine and that God would bless this flock. When he finally headed for home, Danny in his arms, he did so praying the same thing. Someone had delivered food for their dinner, but Rylan did not fill plates for the three of them just yet. He had to tell Bri about the morning, and that couldn't wait.

Chapter Twenty

J
ESSIE WAS SUPPOSED TO
be enjoying these hours on her own Sunday mornings. The girls had gone to church with Seth, and she was free to do as she pleased. Why then did she feel so discontent and restless? Seth had not asked her to join them, but why would he? And if she understood that he wouldn't feel free to ask her, why was she put out?

She paced the confines of the apartment and even debated going down and working on the account books. It was strictly against her policy to do such work on Sunday, knowing she needed a full day's break from the store, but she gave in.

She was on her way down the stairs when she remembered the house. She turned around and went back to the kitchen table. Using paper and pencil, she began to draw some ideas she'd always dreamed of and that she and Seth had talked about the night before. She had no idea what was affordable, but doing this almost took her mind off of Seth, the girls, and the quietness of the apartment. Almost.

“Did you pray?” Hannah asked her father as soon as they walked away from the church building.

“Yes, I did.”

“I prayed too,” Hannah said.

“Did you?” Seth asked, slowing his steps to a crawl. “What did you pray, Hannah?”

“Oh, look at the bird! It's blue!” Clancy said, and Seth brought their small group to a halt.

“Clancy,” Seth said, speaking with his hands on both of her shoulders. “I'm going to talk to Hannah about this morning, and I want you not to interrupt. Do you understand?”

The younger girl nodded, and Seth turned back to Hannah.

“Can you tell me what you prayed?”

“Well, I told Him that my name was Hannah and that I like going to church.”

“Why do you like it?”

“I like it when Pastor Rylan talks about Jesus.”

“Do you know who Jesus is?” Seth asked.

“I think so.”

“Who is He?”

“He's God's Son.”

“That's right, and He did something for all of us. Do you know what I'm talking about?”

“You mean when He died on the cross?”

“Yes. Why did He have to do that?”

“I don't know. I don't like that part. What did you pray?” Hannah asked.

“I confessed some sins I had done. I repented of them. And then I prayed for you, Clancy, and your mother.”

“Mama doesn't believe in God,” Hannah said.

“What do you believe, Hannah?”

Hannah stared up at her father, afraid to say. Clancy was standing not far from them, probably listening to every word. Hannah didn't want her mother to know that she believed in God and had for a few weeks now. If she said the words aloud, her mother might find out and be hurt.

“Can we go now?” Hannah asked, and Seth nodded. He smiled to reassure her, but it hadn't been hard to see what she was thinking. He'd seen the way she looked to Clancy and then back at him. He thought Hannah might be having moments of clear understanding about God, but discussing that would have to wait.

As they finished the walk home, Seth was praying yet again. This time he asked that God would give him uninterrupted time alone with Hannah, time when she could freely say what was on her heart.

The little girls were in a tight circle, as they were most days. The older girls ate dinner together on the south side of the schoolhouse, and naturally the little girls, their ages ranging from six to ten, formed their own group a ways away from them. They had eaten and played for a while, but now they sat in a circle to talk.

“We went to my grandma's on Saturday,” Clara said.

“We went to the creek and got wet,” Clancy put in, not to be topped.

“You got wet?” Clara asked in surprise.

“Seth said we could,” Hannah added.

“Who is Seth?” one little girl asked.

“He's our father,” Clancy put in.

“You call him Seth?” Vera asked; she was the bossy girl in the group and also the oldest. “He can't really be your father if you call him Seth.”

“He is too our father,” Hannah defended quickly.

“Seth Wheeler,” Vera went on. “I've never heard of him.”

“It's Seth Redding, Vera! So there!” Clancy said, sure this would be the last word.

“Now I know he's not your father.” Vera gave the final stab. “Your last name is Wheeler.”

Miss Bolton was calling them in. Hannah was ready to do more battle on the topic, but she shut her mouth when she heard Miss Bolton's voice. She went back to her desk, too angry to cry or speak to anyone. Clancy looked at her face and wondered about it, but not until they started for home did she understand all was not well.

“What's wrong, Hannah?”

“I have to talk to Mama and Seth.”

“About what?”

But Hannah wasn't willing to say more. She walked in the front door of the store and stood staring at Seth.

“Hi, Hannah,” he greeted innocently.

“I want to be Hannah Redding.”

Jessie was not far away and came the moment she heard this. She found her daughter looking defiant, but there were tears on her lower lids.

“What happened today?” Jessie asked.

Before Hannah could find words, Clancy told her version of the meeting. Seth took it all in. He knew that Jessie was ready to take Hannah off and talk to her on her own, but that was the last thing he wanted. He came to his daughter and hunkered down on her level.

“I know you're upset, but we're going to wait to talk about this. As soon as we close the store, the three of us will talk.”

“Not Clancy?”

“Not this time. Until then, don't worry about it.”

Seth could see that Hannah was tempted to argue, but she didn't. He gave her a quick hug to reassure her and that almost started the tears again. Seth looked at the clock. It was already after three o'clock. In less than two hours they could talk.

“I feel you're old enough to know some things, Hannah,” Seth said to his oldest daughter after they'd all had a quick supper. The evening was warm and beautiful so they had gone to a spot on Token Creek to talk. They had dropped Clancy off at Jeb and Patience's, something she wasn't overly happy about, but Seth had put his foot down.

“About what?” the child asked.

“About why I left. You need to understand that was sin on my part. It was sin against God and also against you and your mother.”

“Why did you?” Hannah asked.

“Do you know how you and Clancy sometimes argue about things?”

Hannah nodded.

“Your mother and I argued about everything. We were not very kind to each other, and rather than stay and work it out, I left. That's the reason there's confusion about your name. That's why I'm Seth to you and not Papa. We can't expect those other girls to understand all of this, but it's important to me that you understand. It's your heart I'm concerned about.”

“And Clancy's?”

“Clancy's too, but for right now, I wanted you to know the facts.”

“Your last name
is
Redding, Hannah,” Jessie put in, seeing again how much she was to blame. “I married your father, and all of our last names are Redding.”

“Why are you Jessie Wheeler?” Hannah asked, feeling more confused than ever.

“I was angry and hurt when your father left, and I took back the name I was born with. You always heard the name Wheeler, and when you started using it, I didn't correct you.”

Hannah was not aware that Seth was hearing some of this for the first time.

“Can I be Hannah Redding?” the little girl asked, working to understand.

“You are Hannah Redding,” Seth said simply and watched some of the tension leave her. She smiled a little, and Seth could not believe how much it hurt him to know that his actions had caused her distress. For a moment he could barely breathe with the pain of it all. Then he remembered that he had come back, something his own father had never done.

“What about my teacher?” Hannah asked while Seth was still thinking. “What about Miss Bolton?”

“I'll speak with her,” Jessie offered, knowing it was her place.

“Thank you, Mama,” the little girl said, looking relieved all over again.

“I need to tell you something I love about God, Hannah,” Seth said quietly, not wanting this chance to slip away and praying that his daughter would understand. “He's a God of second chances. I did the wrong thing and left, but He's allowed me to come back to all of you. I'm very thankful for that. I don't deserve a daughter as wonderful as you.”

From the corner of his eyes he saw Jessie's hand go to her mouth. He knew if he looked at her they would all be crying.

“We're going to go get Clancy now and head back to the apartment to talk to her.”

“Can I be there?”

Seth looked to Jessie, who said, “As long as you give Clancy a chance to ask all of her questions.”

Hannah was more than agreeable, but before they could even get to the topic at hand, Seth had to speak sternly to Clancy, who was still pouting about being left with the Dorns. He was on the verge of sending her to bed without the discussion, but he knew the girls talked when they were on their own and couldn't risk Clancy getting only Hannah's version on all of this.

It made for a draining evening. When he and Jessie fell into bed a few hours later, they were both exhausted. Seth wanted to ask her how she was doing, but beyond pulling her close and feeling her cuddle against him, they shared nothing else.

“He's coming more and more,” Becky said to Jeanette when Heather walked him to the front door after supper.