Jenny (15 page)

Cole nodded and walked in that direction. Jenny
dismounted and watched him as he moved carefully,
studying the ground and surrounding landscape.

Jenny had ridden up to the pasture hoping to find
some peace about her father's death. Instead, she'd
found Cole and there was absolutely nothing peaceful about being around Cole. She could sense his un spoken hostility toward her, and the worst part of it
was that she knew his feelings were justified.

She'd always thought of herself as a gentle spirit,
the kind of person who never deliberately hurt anyone, yet what she'd done to Cole had hurt him badly.
The fact that he had managed to be civil to her surprised her.

Jenny wasn't quite sure what to think about Cole
anymore. Theirs was a difficult and awkward situation, compounded by the knowledge that there was
no end in sight. They were going to be forced to endure this unwanted but binding relationship for several years.

Cole kept his gaze focused on the ground as he
slowly covered the area, but he could find no trace of
anything untoward. It was simply a pasture used for
grazing stock. There was nothing remotely significant
about the area that might stir up the interest of a
neighboring rancher or even of a roaming band of
Indians from the reservation. The only thing he could
imagine was that Paul might have accidentally come
upon some rustlers, but it stood to reason that they
probably would have shot him. And Paul had suffered
no gunshot wound.

"In his letters to you, did your father ever mention
that he was having trouble with anyone?" Cole finally
asked, glancing back at Jenny.

"No, but then he never mentioned the rustling to
me, either. The first I heard about it was from you."

"Did you ask Louie if he'd noticed anything unusual around the ranch?"

"Yes, and he said things had been real quiet."

Cole realized that there was nothing more for him
to see or do there. He slowly made his way back
toward where Jenny waited with the horses. He knew
that he had nothing more to say to her, either, so there
was absolutely no reason for him to linger. Yet Cole
didn't hurry to mount up. It was the first time he and
Jenny had really been alone together completely
alone.

Not that it mattered...

The moment was a quiet one. Only the screech of
a soaring bird and the echo of the wind rent the stillness.

With each step Cole took, Jenny grew more and
more aware of him. Her gaze went over him. She
missed nothing-his confident, serious expression;
the proud way he carried himself, his stride easy yet
self-assured as he made his way to her. She noticed,
too, the wide set of his powerful shoulders, his lean
waist and long legs. He was an impressive man, there
was no denying that, and she wondered why she
hadn't been so physically aware of him before.

Jenny wanted to say something, to initiate a conversation with Cole, but she wasn't sure how to get
started. She remembered times when they had talked
easily together, and she regretted that it had been so
long ago. A distant memory of laughing with Cole
came to her, and a warmth filled her. There really had been occasions when they'd enjoyed each other's
company, but she knew those days had been lost forever-destroyed when she'd walked away from him
at the altar.

Jenny wondered suddenly if there was any way to
broach that subject with Cole and make amends. She
wondered if they could at least be friends.

Jenny girded herself, prepared to try. The worst
thing that could happen was nothing. They would
continue on as they were acting barely civil to one
another, dealing with each other only when forced to.

"Cole?"

He looked at her questioningly.

"You've never forgiven me, have you?"

"Hell, no." He said the words with some force.

She was surprised by his honesty, though she knew
she shouldn't be. If there was one thing Cole had
always been with her, it was honest.

"I didn't mean to hurt you that day. I really didn't."
Cole turned on her, and the look on his face was
anything but kind, conciliatory, or forgiving.

"All right, then, why in the hell did you wait until
the last possible minute to break it off? Why didn't
you tell me ahead of time that you were having doubts
about marrying me?"

Guilt filled her, but she faced him, squarely. She
wanted to clear the air between them.

"I thought I was doing the right thing. Marrying
you was what Papa wanted."

"What Papa wanted?" he sneered. "Funny, I thought it was what we wanted. I thought you loved
me the way I loved you. I thought you wanted me as
much as I wanted you."

Cole crossed the distance between them, his gaze
darkening with the power of his intent. He remembered all too well how much he'd desired her. Hell,
he was reminded of it every time he looked at hereven now!

Jenny stood frozen before him, mesmerized by the
force of the emotion she saw raging in his eyes. She
gasped in surprise as he took her by the shoulders and
dragged her hard against him, crushing her to his
chest. Cole had never been so physical with her before, and she held herself rigid, trying to resist him.

Cole bent to Jenny, and his mouth captured hers in
a dominating kiss. It was a kiss meant to punish, not
to pleasure. Anger was driving him, and a desire that
could not be denied.

But then something happened.

Jenny felt the desire, too. It flamed to life deep
within her, searing her consciousness with its recognition. So this was passion....

She gave a soft whimper and surrendered to the
feelings that were burning in her.

Jenny's unspoken surrender was more powerful to
Cole than any aphrodisiac. The harshness of his lips
moving over hers softened. He became coaxing rather
than demanding. He deepened the exchange, delving
into the sweetness of her mouth, tasting of her beauty,
wanting to know the fullness of her love. Rendered mindless by the power of their kiss, Cole started to
caress her, lifting one hand to seek the soft swell of
her breast.

At his bold touch, Jenny gasped his name in
delight. Ecstasy shimmered through her. Cole had
never caressed her before, and she was startled by the
feelings his touch aroused.

It was her gasp that jarred Cole and made him
aware of just where he was and what he was doing.

As quickly as the encounter had started, it was
over.

Cole abruptly released Jenny as if he'd been burned
and stepped away from her. He was furious with himself for his lack of control. He kept his expression
starkly indifferent as he looked down at her.

"I guess we were both wrong about why we were
getting married," Cole said flatly. "And that was a
long time ago."

"Yes... yes, it was," Jenny stammered.

She lifted a hand to her lips as she took a nervous
step backward, still unsure of herself. She needed to
put more distance between them; it was hard for her
to have a straight thought with him standing so close.

Cole's kiss and touch had been overwhelming. The
power of the emotions that had been awakened inside
her shocked Jenny, and the boldness of his caress left
her breathless. Cole had never kissed or caressed her
that way before. She remembered his kisses from
when they'd been engaged. They had always been
nice and sweet and gentle-nothing like this one. This kiss had been arousing and sensual and overpowering and had left her wanting more from him
much more.

Her head reeled with confusion. Was this really
Cole? Her Cole?

"A lot has changed since then," Cole went on.

"Yes, it has," she answered a bit breathlessly. "And
that's why I thought we should talk about what happened and straighten things out between us-"

"I thought you said it all that night in the hotel
room," he said tersely.

"I tried to explain what I was feeling to you. It
wouldn't have been fair to marry you feeling the way
I did then. I wanted to explore the world. I wanted to
learn more about life. I wasn't ready to become just
some man's wife-"

"No, Jenny," Cole said with cold fury, watching as
she paled a little. "You weren't going to become `just
some man's wife.' You were going to be my wife."

The tension between them built as she hurried on.
"But getting married for the sake of getting married
wasn't my dream. I wanted adventure. I wanted to
further my education. I wanted to-"

"So what happened that night was all about what
you wanted," he said bitterly.

"Marriage is a lifetime commitment," she continued, trying to justify her actions but feeling she was
failing miserably. "I wasn't ready to take those
vows." She was trying to explain to him what had
seemed so logical to her at the time, but nothing was coming out right. "I cared too much about you to
marry you feeling the way I did. You deserved someone who loved you, not someone who would ultimately resent you."

"That all sounds real good, but if you cared so
much about me, you wouldn't have had to sneak off
in the middle of the night."

"Well, I"

"Did you know that I went back to the hotel to see
you again? I wanted to talk to you one more time, to
explain to you how much I loved you, but you'd already gone."

"Aunt Evelyn thought it would be best for us to
leave as quickly as we could, what with all the gossip
that would be going on around town."

"So you just took off and left me here to face all
the talk alone." His tone was condemning.

Jenny swallowed tightly. "Yes. You're right. I did,
and I'm sorry. If I had to do it over-"

He stopped her, not wanting to hear another word.
"It doesn't matter."

"Cole, there's nothing I can say or do that will
change what happened between us. But because of
Papa's will, we are going to have to work together
for the next few years. I'd like us to be able to get
along."

Cole smiled easily at her as he took his horse's
reins and swung up into the saddle in one easy, fluid
motion. "You won't have any problems with me,
Jenny. Ours is strictly a business relationship, and it's going to stay that way just the way your father set
it up."

"Good. I was hoping we could work things out amicably."

"Of course. Just keep me informed of what's going
on at the ranch. I'll check in regularly with you when
I have any news." With that, he wheeled his mount
around, ready to ride off. "You'll be all right getting
back home?"

"Yes."

He nodded and rode away without looking back.

Jenny stood unmoving and watched him until he
had disappeared from sight. She'd gotten exactly what
she'd wanted out of the conversation. She should
have been pleased with the way things had gone, but
instead she felt more uneasy than ever. Her emotions
were in turmoil. Acknowledging the truth to herself,
she admitted that she hadn't wanted him to leave.
She'd wanted him to take her in his arms and kiss her
again.

Gathering her own mount's reins, Jenny climbed
into the saddle and started back. She barely noticed
the miles she covered on the trip to the house. Her
thoughts were of Cole's harsh words and his disturbing kiss and caress.

Jenny had never known that a single kiss and touch
could evoke such passion. But Cole's had. There had
been such pleasure in his embrace-such excitement.
It had been wonderful.

Jenny frowned as she drew closer to home. She tried to push the memory of what had happened between them from her mind and concentrate on the fact
that he had agreed they should get along without any
difficulties that theirs would be a strictly business
relationship. That was good. That was what she'd
wanted.

Much later that night, though, when Jenny lay in
bed thinking about her encounter with Cole, she wondered why she felt so bereft that he had agreed to
what she'd wanted.

They would get along as friends.

Theirs was a business-only relationship.

Cole sat in his study at the Branding Iron, thinking
of what had happened earlier in the day with Jenny.
He was not proud that he'd lost control of himself
and kissed her. In fact, he was angry with himself for
having done it.

Cole supposed he'd kissed Jenny to prove to himself that he really didn't want her. He'd expected to
feel nothing. The kisses they'd shared years before
had been chaste and carefully controlled, never arousing or passionate. He hadn't thought he would have
any reaction to her kiss today.

He'd been wrong.

Getting up from his desk, Cole poured himself a
straight whiskey and stalked to the window, glass in
hand, to stare out into the night. It was a dark, moonless night as black and unforgiving as his soul felt
just then. He took a deep drink.

It disturbed him greatly to know that Jenny was
still a weakness for him. Her unexpected response to
his kiss had aroused him and left him more determined than ever to stay away from her. He would
keep her at arm's length and make sure any contact
between them was minimal.

Cole drained the glass and slammed it down on his
desk. He made his way to his solitary bed, but sleep
was long in coming. When it finally did claim him,
it was restless and fitful, giving him no peace.