Is Three A Crowd? (12 page)

“Thanks, I appreciate your help.”

“Why not take the time you need in the city to wrap up your old life before you start your future. Seems that would be the best solution, nothing left behind to hold you back. Then your decisions will be made with a clear mind.”

“I will,” she mumbled, and didn’t wait for him to come around and open her car door. She assumed he’d take care of Shin as she headed to the front door. Now she began to wonder if his picking her up wasn’t very well thought out in advance. The house was opened from the inside by a uniformed maid.

“The masters are in the parlor awaiting your arrival.”

“Thank you,” she managed. She drew a deep breath and wandered toward them, knowing her future as she’d expected would change tonight. She was fearful and excited at the prospect.

Both men were waiting with glasses in hand. Nathan stood beside the fireplace wearing dark slacks and a lighter button-down shirt. Blake was standing by the back glass doors. He was dressed in jeans and a three-button shirt. She glanced to each one and decided the green color of Blake’s shirt would compliment Nathan’s eyes and coloring.

“Good evening, gentlemen. I see you’ve decided to call a truce, sending Aminta to fetch me. You can rest assured he didn’t relate anything of my history I hadn’t already remembered.”

“Good evening, Maris. What would you like to drink?” Blake wandered towards the bar.

“Just mineral water for now, thank you. Nathan, good evening.” She saw his jaw tense for just a second and held back her smile. It was quite apparent he wasn’t happy with the situation.

Accepting the glass from Blake, she chose the lounge chair by the patio doors she’d favored from her last visit. Both men seemed unyielding, and she wanted to laugh aloud but didn’t. Instead, she decided to use some of her newfound courage. “I’ve made a decision that affects all of us.” She waited until she had their complete attention before continuing. “I asked Aminta to take care of Shin for a while. I’m heading back to
Manhattan
for a bit. I have to finish some work at the office and arrange for vacation time. I will also retrieve the files on my accident that I’ve never had the courage to read. Then I’d like to come back and stay at the stone house up by the gates for a bit while I go through all the files and figure out where this life is leading us all. It seems I’d been comfortable there in the past. Do either of you have a problem with that?”

“I’ll take you back to the city,” Nathan said quickly.

“We’ll both take her back to the city,” Blake said at the same time. She watched as the men glanced to each other and back to her.

“Down, boys, I said I’m going back alone.” She paused to see their reaction. Neither seemed happy with her decision. “I can get a lot more done on my own.” Nathan glared at her with half closed eyes. Blake chose to smile and nod.

“You’re enjoying our discomfort,” Nathan declared, “a bit too much for my liking.” His tone inferred he didn’t like the situation, and Maris decided it was because he wasn’t in control. “Why go alone? I…we could all go, turn it into a vacation of sorts.” He glared at her again when she began to laugh in earnest.

“Because this isn’t a vacation. I’m going back because I’ve finally got my courage up to retrieve the accident files, and my medical history, and any other information that might trigger something in my memory.” She stood and paced before the glass wall. “The best thing you two can do for me is be here when I get back.”

Blake stood and put his glass aside. “How about a deal. We’ll let you go without following you, if you promise not to read the files until you’re back here and we’re close by.” She saw the look of attempted mediation in his eyes, an exaggerated wink Nathan couldn’t see. Glancing to Nathan, she saw his expression turn to exasperation.
 

“Oh, my, you’re on a short leash,” she said, goading a response. Nathan glared at her but pulled himself back, using his drink as a diversion.

“Blake, why don’t you want me to read the files alone?”

“Because you don’t know what’s in them. It’s better to be comfortable here at home than alone in
New York City
. We can offer you moral support.” He glanced to Nathan. “Right about now, I’d say a good meal and answers to the questions we’ve avoided is in line, especially since we want you to have our perspective on the situation.”

“Blake,” Nathan chastised, trying to hush him.

“No, let him talk, at least he answers me, he doesn’t assume I’ll follow him blindly.”

“Oh, hell, I hate this whole charade.”

“We all do, but we decided to take our time and let Maris come into her lost knowledge naturally. It was our agreement, one I don’t plan to break.”

“Just how will I come into this knowledge naturally?”

“Your mother’s files. Surely somewhere in them you’ll find keys to the information you’re missing.” Blake watched her closely, winking at her again when he thought Nathan couldn’t see.

Maris decided this whole situation was absurd and changed the dynamic. She didn’t feel this was the best time to assert her new perspective. Nathan seemed truly upset, and she didn’t want to be the cause of his further heartache.

“Well, I agree about the food. Shall we? Suddenly I’m starved. I’m not sure if it’s because Nathan is so angry and you’re just on edge, but I find I’m famished.” She rose from her lounge and reached a hand to Blake. He tucked her hand under his arm and seemed disappointed when she paused and offered her other hand to Nathan. He took it, and the three of them walked into the dining room.

* * * *

Their meal was consumed in a lively fashion, Nathan and Blake settling into a companionable conversation, answering her questions about the Chateau and telling her bits of information about the other man. It was the first time she saw any signs of friendship, compassion, and respect between them.

“I’m stuffed, but the meal was wonderful, and thank you both for not making this a difficult evening.” She stood and acknowledged Aminta’s presence. “Please tell Cook the meal was delicious. We’ll have coffee in the parlor.” She didn’t wait for the men to follow. She wandered through the hallway alone, her fingers running along the texture of the stone wall. Back in her favorite seat, she noted that Shin slept outside the glass door.

“Sherry before coffee?” Nathan asked as he and Blake entered the room.

“Not yet, thanks.”

Nathan finally seemed relaxed. She remembered this side of him, calm and relaxed fun to be around.

“I’m done with the land appraisals. I wanted to finish one job before I start another. I didn’t want my mind to be scattered when I go through the paperwork.” She glanced at each man and could only sense they were both disappointed. Groping for a safe topic that wouldn’t annoy either man, she asked, “Who planted the gardens?” She hoped teasing them with newly retrieved knowledge would continue their eased moods. She hadn’t expected them both to burst out laughing. “Well, am I allowed in on the joke?”

“You chose the plants and laid out the gardens, Maris, albeit in a previous…” Blake hesitated.

Nathan didn’t seem bothered by her questions anymore. “I suppose you expect some tidbit of information to open the gates to my memories.”

“Hopefully, something like that.” Aminta entered with the coffee tray, not acknowledging the glares from either man. “Now that you’re at home, your memories will come, Miss. The less you force yourself to remember, the easier they’ll come.”

“Thank you, Aminta.” Maris accepted the cup and saucer he handed her and waited until he’d served the men and left before she gave them a scolding look. “He’s right, and he means no harm. Aminta seems to be a very fair person and you both respect him in this household. Don’t start second guessing him now.”

Maris put her coffee aside and stretched her limbs, relaxing into the cushions. She understood her leaving, even temporarily, and not accepting their help was almost an insult, but she wanted to do this on her own. It would be too easy to rely on these men instead of becoming self-reliant. Finishing the details of her old life was her responsibility. When she was done with
Manhattan
, she’d take the next step to finding her past. Maris felt she needed this distance from both men to clear her mind. They would just have to understand and accept her decision.

“You’re both going to have to accept my timing, gentlemen. I understand you’ve apparently been waiting for me for a long time, but you’re both technically strangers to me. I’ll let you know when I’m comfortable with our arrangement.”

“To Maris being comfortable with our arrangement,” Blake toasted.

“To Maris’s memories and choices,” Nathan added.

“How about, to the future, one that apparently I will decide?” The men nodded, but not enthusiastically. She wanted to see their reaction to her next question and asked bluntly, “Blake, in my past life, we were lovers, yes?”

“Yes, and we were amazing together.” He gave her his sly grin, one she now knew came with thoughts of sex.

“Nathan, in my past life, we were lovers, too?”

“Yes. We were lovers and confidantes.”

“So I slept with you both, but neither of you married me?” Both her men looked stricken by her joke. “Sorry, I was just teasing, I guess I don’t do that well anymore either?”

“This is not teasing material. It’s just too close to the bone.” For the first time, she heard a tremble in Nathan’s voice.

“And hearts?” she added.

“Yes. We both loved you, but apparently differently. Our approaches to life and love are poles apart.”

“Neither of us had enough pride to walk away.” Nathan’s words were blunt.

“I must have been a real piece of work. Are you both that masochistic? I sound like a complete bitch with an attitude.”

“Only on occasion,” Blake said.

“Usually when you didn’t get your way!” Nathan actually laughed when he said the words, something she remembered but hadn’t experienced from him.

“I’m sorry I treated you both so poorly, but I’m glad you’re here now when I finally get my past back. I hope whatever else has changed or been hidden won’t will embarrass me or either of you.” She began to wonder what kind of person she truly was back then.

“We knew the real Maris and accepted your eccentricities. Just remember we’re here for you, whatever you need.” Nathan was trying to put up an easy front for her, but his tone was overly sweet.

“What if I need both of you now, full-time?” She watched their faces. Both men seemed stunned by her question.

Blake spoke first. “We assumed you’d finally make a choice, Maris.”

“Is that my only option? Don’t answer, I’m just thinking aloud. Thank you both for bringing me here. It was time for me to rediscover who I was five years ago and time for me to decide who I want to be in my future, and yours.” She paused to sit down but kept wandering around the room, touching objects, trying to remember being here before. “I can only imagine how frustrated you both are. But nothing is going to change until I get my memories back. Thank you for a lovely evening. I’d like to go back to the hotel. Please tell Aminta I’m ready to leave.”

Blake began to speak, but Nathan interrupted. “She’s right, in her own time, whether we like it or not.”

“Okay, her time frame. I’ll get Aminta.”

“Good night, gentlemen.” She walked to each man, kissed his cheek, and left them alone in the parlor. Hesitating at the doorway, she turned back and added, “I’ll let you know when I’m back and ready to learn my history.” This time she left and didn’t turn back. Nor did she question Aminta on the ride back to the hotel.

When she settled for the night after walking Shin, Maris knew she could have left the dog tonight, but she wanted an excuse to see the land one more time in daylight before she left. She began to wonder if her tactics concerning the men were wrong, but deep inside she knew she had to make rational decisions for all their sakes.

Chapter Ten

The following day, with her work complete and all her reports sent, she took Shin for one last long walk around the town. Today she felt no hesitation, no stares at being alone. The time reinforced how much she loved the area, realizing she could live here, would accept the cold winters, relishing the warm fires.

The memory came in a flash. She and her two men lounged on the carpet before the fireplace. They were laughing at something, happy together. The image floated away. Scouring her mind, she recalled how they were dressed, and that they drank champagne. Her hair was much longer and puffy with layers, and her makeup was much heavier. It was a memory from long ago, she decided. Was it a fantasy? Deeper inside, she realized it wasn’t a memory, it was what she wanted. How she wanted their relationship to continue.